Ginevra Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 I know this is not my problem and I promise, I'll get over it in a couple more minutes, but this drives me batty sometimes. Dear Friend complains for 11 months of the year about the horrid, extremely bad, terrible, messed up financial position they are in (and have been in for about 12 years now), but when a little windfall comes into her life, she instantly blows it on some goofy thing. Like once, when she had a yardsale and made a few hundred dollars, she ran out and bought a camera. This was while she had serious obligations that needed every dime so much more. It just makes me :banghead: It's just one of those FB status updates that will really make you go :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 We have friends like this. A few, actually. I don't think there is anything you can do, unfortunately. If she *asks* maybe you could recommend a family finance class? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 We have been in a similar financial situation (and still are, really), but it's not due to debt, it's more because DH simply doesn't make enough right now & is a full time student. With that said....it drives me bonkers too. I have a good friend who is like that, but then splurges on things all the time. I understand the desire to just get something you WANT once in awhile, but maybe go for the candy bar or $5 treat instead?!? Anyway....I hear ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 We have friends like this. A few, actually. I don't think there is anything you can do, unfortunately. If she *asks* maybe you could recommend a family finance class? Once upon a time, another mutual friend taught her Larry Burkette's system (like Dave Ramsey, very similar) and financially troubled friend was all excited about it for maybe a month. :glare: She could not believe that non-troubled friend had "all that money" sitting in envelopes, just sitting there, building up. This is just her mentality and it's really a cryin' shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 We have been in a similar financial situation (and still are, really), but it's not due to debt, it's more because DH simply doesn't make enough right now & is a full time student. With that said....it drives me bonkers too. I have a good friend who is like that, but then splurges on things all the time. I understand the desire to just get something you WANT once in awhile, but maybe go for the candy bar or $5 treat instead?!? Anyway....I hear ya. :iagree: And I do totally get how it could be like, "Well, geez, we're always trying to get by and I'm sick of it. I'm buying the cute boots with this bonus money!" Even so, I just wish friend could get her head together and prioritize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Uh, yeah. I have a friend like this. I TOTALLY get what you mean. I love this lady, but how she and her dh handle their finances makes me cringe. And I wouldn't even *know* about it if she didn't tell me, but she tells me all the details. I just keep biting my tongue, since she doesn't ask for advice. She's really a good friend, but wow it kinda irks me sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 I know this is not my problem and I promise, I'll get over it in a couple more minutes, but this drives me batty sometimes. Dear Friend complains for 11 months of the year about the horrid, extremely bad, terrible, messed up financial position they are in (and have been in for about 12 years now), but when a little windfall comes into her life, she instantly blows it on some goofy thing. Like once, when she had a yardsale and made a few hundred dollars, she ran out and bought a camera. This was while she had serious obligations that needed every dime so much more. It just makes me :banghead: It's just one of those FB status updates that will really make you go :001_huh: I had a friend like this. Her kids all have iphones (hello...$30 extra per line per month data plan) and they have new cars. And unmet obligations that don't come first because you get what you want when you want it, and you pay your debt when you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Well, sometimes these differences of seeing financial obligations and priorities can happen within a household (and that's all I'm going to say about that). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 (edited) Yeah, some people are their own worst enemies. I have a friend like that. They make more $ than my own Dh, but they're still renting, and we own. Edited February 19, 2012 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Just keep in mind that for everyone who is handling their finances worse than you, there is someone who is handling it better than you. :grouphug: Pegasus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 BTDT I am loke your friend in the sense that I struggle constantly with finances so when there is a bit of a windfall I want (and do use it) for splurges. Now the splurges I use it for I feel are important, then again everyone feels their splurge is important. But for example, 6 years ago I had a bit of a windfall and used it to buy a computer. Yes I could have and should have used it against other matters such as a debt, but the way I looked at it was I will still have debt left over for years if I apply this amount and go another decade with no computer. Or I could buyt he computer and keep paying my normal monthly payments. I bought the computer and have been using it ever since, as a homeschool mom you know how important a computer is. The last windfall I got I bought my kitchen aid mixer. Again I could have applied that money elsewhere but I had coveted a mixer for years and knew it was a now or never chance to get one, I use it a min of 4 days per week. Now my windfalls are not huge but they are substantial. I am hoping for another one before summer and guess what I plan to use it for a splurge too. I plan to use it to fund our first ever (and likely last) family vacation. Again it is a now or never situation. I will not be in a better situation over all if I apply it to outstanding debts, no matter what i do I will still have debts and low income. This just gives us the chance to actually have a vacation 1 time while the kids are still kids. That said, if my windfall was enough to actually get us out of debt I would apply it to that first. And even if I get the one I am hoping for it is being applied to some medical testing for the kids first and foremost, but I still intend to take a family vacation with it as well. Without knowing the specifics of the situation I can't comment on what your friend is doing, but I would like to think they have actually put some thought into the splurge (as in it was not spent on lobster dinner and new leather boots). I would extend grace to knowing that this is likely the only time they are able to put anything towards themselves out of the whole year and honestly living in that position I know how depressing it is to never have any to apply to myself, when a windfall comes in regardless of the rest of my situation I know that for my own mental health it is well worth splurging it on myself or on my family in order to face another year of nickle and diming myself to death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 BTDT I am loke your friend in the sense that I struggle constantly with finances so when there is a bit of a windfall I want (and do use it) for splurges. Now the splurges I use it for I feel are important, then again everyone feels their splurge is important. But for example, 6 years ago I had a bit of a windfall and used it to buy a computer. Yes I could have and should have used it against other matters such as a debt, but the way I looked at it was I will still have debt left over for years if I apply this amount and go another decade with no computer. Or I could buyt he computer and keep paying my normal monthly payments. I bought the computer and have been using it ever since, as a homeschool mom you know how important a computer is. The last windfall I got I bought my kitchen aid mixer. Again I could have applied that money elsewhere but I had coveted a mixer for years and knew it was a now or never chance to get one, I use it a min of 4 days per week. Now my windfalls are not huge but they are substantial. I am hoping for another one before summer and guess what I plan to use it for a splurge too. I plan to use it to fund our first ever (and likely last) family vacation. Again it is a now or never situation. I will not be in a better situation over all if I apply it to outstanding debts, no matter what i do I will still have debts and low income. This just gives us the chance to actually have a vacation 1 time while the kids are still kids. That said, if my windfall was enough to actually get us out of debt I would apply it to that first. And even if I get the one I am hoping for it is being applied to some medical testing for the kids first and foremost, but I still intend to take a family vacation with it as well. Without knowing the specifics of the situation I can't comment on what your friend is doing, but I would like to think they have actually put some thought into the splurge (as in it was not spent on lobster dinner and new leather boots). I would extend grace to knowing that this is likely the only time they are able to put anything towards themselves out of the whole year and honestly living in that position I know how depressing it is to never have any to apply to myself, when a windfall comes in regardless of the rest of my situation I know that for my own mental health it is well worth splurging it on myself or on my family in order to face another year of nickle and diming myself to death. :iagree: This is much where we are! I have to be so very careful with money! But an occasional splurge makes the rest of the year's frugality more tolerable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeannpal Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 :iagree: This is much where we are! I have to be so very careful with money! But an occasional splurge makes the rest of the year's frugality more tolerable. Unless you are living in the situation, there may be many factors about their economic situation that aren't easily understandable from the outside. Fwiw, I don't think buying a camera is a bad thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolfromIL Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I know this is not my problem and I promise, I'll get over it in a couple more minutes, but this drives me batty sometimes. Dear Friend complains for 11 months of the year about the horrid, extremely bad, terrible, messed up financial position they are in (and have been in for about 12 years now), but when a little windfall comes into her life, she instantly blows it on some goofy thing. Like once, when she had a yardsale and made a few hundred dollars, she ran out and bought a camera. This was while she had serious obligations that needed every dime so much more. It just makes me :banghead: It's just one of those FB status updates that will really make you go :001_huh: I hear you! Some people just don't get it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I have a family member that does this and it drives me nuts. I try to back away and realize that it's her financial situation, not mine. And I'm so far from perfect, so I'm in no place to judge. But it's reeeally hard to bite my tongue when I'm listening to her talk about how tight money is and resenting some cost over in one area that I think is actually a good responsible thing to spend money on, when she's spending money on silly things she doesn't need (new furniture, new puppy, new laptop, etc.) A few splurges are one thing, but it happens over and over. And it's not like she's even waiting till she's got the money on hand to buy these things. She takes out loans and maxes the credit cards to get things that are totally unnecessary. I just wish she wouldn't share this type of information- I never ever ask. It really is none of my business. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2abcd Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Unless you are living in the situation, there may be many factors about their economic situation that aren't easily understandable from the outside. Fwiw, I don't think buying a camera is a bad thing. :iagree: It's all about priorities. It's not a bad thing to capture those moments of childhood:o) They grow up so fast! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy4ever Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I can relate. I had some one in my life that was like that. she didn't have money to buy food for her kids, but when they got money, she didn't stock her pantry, she wasted it within days. Then she'd complain there was no money. They earn a 6 figure income. As much as i liked her, I found her stressful. So I keep my distance. I miss her in some ways, but I am much less anxious without her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Unless you are living in the situation, there may be many factors about their economic situation that aren't easily understandable from the outside. Fwiw, I don't think buying a camera is a bad thing. Of course, there is always more to the story. But if a person is public about how difficult their situation is, it isn't going to be surprising if eyebrows are raised on their "splurges." I also don't think buying a camera is a bad thing, but she had a serious albatross hanging around her neck that she kept saying, "Well, if I had a few hundred dollars to take care of that problem, that would be just fine and dandy." But once she did have a few hundred dollars, she "forgot" that she had the other big issue that needed remedy. (Sorry to be so vague; it had to do with a property liability that she needed to unload and she needed money to have it sold.) I did grow up with parents who always struggled financially, so while I do know this is not always a simple matter, I also am very intimately acquainted with illogical financial prioritizing that keeps people trapped in poverty. Not everybody who is poor is a victim of circumstances; some truly are victims of their own poor choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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