Child support money

[Trivium Academy]

How do you handle child support money?

[Closeacademy]

When I was a child, my mom put the money in an account for me. It paid for my trip to Mexico with Spanish Class and ended up paying for my wedding as well. :001_smile:

[lwilliams1922]

DD 's been in private school up untill a few months ago. The child support was about half of what tuition cost so I just put it in the bank I used to pay the tuition.

 

Now that were homeschooling I will use it to pay for the materials and outside classes/lessons.

 

that reminds me I need to figure out what will happen at the next 3 year review. At the last one I was making much more than her dad, and paid a hefty tuition. Now I am not working and homeschooling.

[OnTheBrink]

The child support and alimony ("maintenance" in my state) allows me to stay home with dd and continue to hs her, so that combined with what I make babysitting, is what we live off of.

 

If I ever got remarried, I'd put half away for her college or wedding and use the other half for daily expenses.

 

I have to say, despite what a donkey's behind my EX was when we were married, he has stated over and over that he doesn't want me or dd to do without anything. Outside of the maintenance and child support, he gives me money for curriculum and buys dd clothes, pays for her sewing classes and has offered to pay for her PE class for next fall. I'm thankful he's as amiable as he's been, even if it is out of guilt. LOL I never, ever ask him for anything extra, but he seems to want to do it.

[Rich with Kids]

Well, it's supposed to go into savings, which it does often. But we use it to pay for summer camp and extracurriculars. That's when our ex's are actually working. We don't count on it as stable income since they tend to be eratic in their work ethic...

[Rich with Kids]

Computer hiccuped

[Kelli in TN]

My mom used to just give it to me. I don't know what "normal" child support is, but I suspect that this may have been a smaller child support payment than most have to make.

 

But she just signed the checks over to me.

 

I am not recommending this, I am just sayin' that is what she did.

[Mandy in TN]

The small amount of money that is received for two teenage ds does not cover half of their food and extracurricular activities much less anything else. It is always late and when it is received it has already been spent. Although exh does carry health insurance on the boys, he has never paid a dime for anything else including medical bills and orthodontics even though legally he is supposed to pay for half of those.

 

Honestly, I am not complaining. We don't need the money to survive and frankly I am shocked that exh has paid it at all. I just wanted to let you know that y'all are some very fortunate ladies who have exh's that are willing to not only pay child suport, but willing to pay the half of the additional expenses that the court has ordered and are financially supportive above and beyond. Wow, truly I didn't know that those men existed! What a rare and fortunate blessing.

 

Mandy

[mbeaser]

I answered family account, but that would likely change if I were to ever remarry (of course, I'd have to divorce first, still in the waiting period now). When we separated the first time, DH was finally getting a job (after 5.5 years) and I accepted less than the state calculator said so that I could get more during this period (I'm living on 1/5 of what I was before, plus child support, while I return to school-we set the amount and it stayed the same even when he got a raise and when I got out, so I could have a set amount).

I suppose when we actually divorce, the court could change things, but I don't think they usually do when the parties have agreed. When we set up the agreement, he got paid on the 1st and 15th, just like I did, so he paid me in 2 equal payments each month. Now, he gets paid every 2 weeks, so he's not quite on schedule, but when he gets paid he pays me. We are "lucky" in that my kids will get to go to school at any public in state college tuition free because I have a military disability and wartime service (this is an Indiana thing, not nationwide). In IN, parents have to pay support through college, so we'll probably just split their room/board 3 ways (each parent and the child paying 1/3). STBX isn't a bad person (and I think his parents would guilt him into paying support even if he didn't feel obligated), he just isn't a good spouse for me.

[Joanne]

Family account.

 

We purchased this house, in this neighborhood and developed a lifestyle for the kids (average amount of activities, etc) when we were actively married and he made $100K a year or more.

 

Even being remarried, I could not continue the children's home.

 

Well, actually, that's not true since I'm doing it now. :confused::001_huh:

 

But in any case, if a family is in a position to set aside that money and not having to use it for *living*, that's terrific.

 

IMO, it's meant for shelter, food, clothing, assisting with gas, supplies, and activities.

[Night Elf]

I put some of the money into a savings account for Claire. The rest goes into our household income. I don't get a large sum of money because I negotiated the sum with my ex. But raising a teen is expensive! Or at least my teen is. :) Child support is meant to help pay expenses so I don't feel guilty about using the money to help pay bills.

[swellmomma]

I put it in the family account and it gets used for whatever is needed. Yesterday it covered my late rent. If he had always been on time with support I would likely have separate accounts, but see out of the 7 years we have been separated he has only sporadically paid support for 1/2 of them. He finally started paying regularily at xmas, so it has only been 6 months of getting support after going over 2 years without a single cent. So now I use it for what ever is needed. At the same time he also now pays half of some things if I ask him to, likehalf the school books I bought at convention, he paid that the next day, he is also going to pay half for the telescope I want, and possibly dd's violin too. Because I do not ask for section 7's (which would mean he actually pays 100% of all extra expenses for extra curric's, daycare if I need it and school books), and he does not pay the full base amount of support for his salary he knows he had best be being nice and pitching in when I ask. He still hasn't seen them more than a handful of times in 7 years but at least he pays now.

 

If I got remarried, I would put the full amount each month into a separate account for their educations etc.

[Ellie]

I have to say, despite what a donkey's behind my EX was when we were married, he has stated over and over that he doesn't want me or dd to do without anything. Outside of the maintenance and child support, he gives me money for curriculum and buys dd clothes, pays for her sewing classes and has offered to pay for her PE class for next fall. I'm thankful he's as amiable as he's been, even if it is out of guilt. LOL I never, ever ask him for anything extra, but he seems to want to do it.

 

Well, what a blessing that is! He must have some good qualities...hidden way down deep inside...:tongue_smilie: Most women I have known who are supposed to get any kind of child support, don't.

[Citrusheights5]

In 10 years I have never seen a full support payment.. DH on the other hand has always paid.. (between his refund.. stimulus.. and regular monthly payment $6000 was given in one month --gotta love arrears) So we live both sides. We know how important it is to pay the support.

 

It is for the support of the child.. House, food, education, clothes, summer camp, etc. It would all go into family account for the family to use.

Lee

[JennifersLost]

I get it so few and far between that I tend to use it for nice things for the kids I wouldn't otherwise afford - more homeschool books, classes, trips, clothes that they need, etc.

 

The rest supports our "life" - food, housing, etc, which he should be helping pay for.

[Trivium Academy]

Thank you all! This really helped me make the decision on whether to keep it in our family account or separate it! I know I'm blessed that dd has a very responsible, active father- prayers for those of you (and your children) that have troubles, I know from experience that it is very trying.

[kalanamak]

I don't get it and never will, but I would put it in for the entire family...you are a family....

However, if there was a new hubby who was misusing it, or if old hubby was contentious about it and it might make a stick to strike you with, I'd keep it separate.

HTH

[Sarah CB]

Family account.

 

IMO, it's meant for shelter, food, clothing, assisting with gas, supplies, and activities.

 

I fully agree with this. Growing up, my Dad paid child support and I never would have expected my mother to put it into a savings account for me to use at a later date. That money was to assist with clothing, housing, food, and other costs of raising my sister and I. Even after my mom remarried I wouldn't have expected that money to have been set aside. Raising kids costs a lot of money and child support is meant to contribute to that.

[myfunnybunch]

Child support from my dd's father goes into a separate account. I use that account to pay for all of her extra activities and tutoring, curriculum, and some of her clothing. Some of the money I bump into the family account to help pay the grocery bill and so forth. Some of the money I save for her future, as I expect she'll need some kind of support or assisted living as an adult. I'd put it into the family account, except the separate account already existed, and it helps me to keep track of what we're spending on extra programs and services to meet her needs.

 

When we received child support for my stepdaughter, it went into our main account, but we use that account to pay for her activities, savings, clothing and other expenses.

 

Cat

[Melissa in Australia]

without child support I would have to go to work.

[Crissy]

I have never received any of the child support my son's biological father is supposed to pay, but I had decided early on that if the money did come our way it would be placed in an account for Jeffrey's education.

[Carmen_and_Company]

The child support and alimony ("maintenance" in my state) allows me to stay home with dd and continue to hs her, so that combined with what I make babysitting, is what we live off of.

 

If I ever got remarried, I'd put half away for her college or wedding and use the other half for daily expenses.

 

I have to say, despite what a donkey's behind my EX was when we were married, he has stated over and over that he doesn't want me or dd to do without anything. Outside of the maintenance and child support, he gives me money for curriculum and buys dd clothes, pays for her sewing classes and has offered to pay for her PE class for next fall. I'm thankful he's as amiable as he's been, even if it is out of guilt. LOL I never, ever ask him for anything extra, but he seems to want to do it.

 

My situation is similar to Michelle's. I stay home because my ex-DH wants the kids hs'ed. Our child support order was actually modified to include that I'm to notify him by a specified date with a figure of how much each semester's worth of materials will cost. I purchase everything & he reimburses the total twice a year. He also sends the kids B&N giftcards quarterly, pays for all outside classes, 1/2 our utility bills, our health insurance, and my car insurance. He feels the kids are better served with me at home and he made the sacrafices, including working two jobs so that I may stay home.

[Maria from IN]

I don't receive support for J and I never will with the way things are going, but I believe in a split. It's because of his affairs and bad example to my son that I had to move out and set up a new secure home anyway, so part of that money would go to maintain the new household. When applicable, the other part would go towards clothes, curriculum, lessons, etc.

[Amy in NH]

Family account.

 

IMO, it's meant for shelter, food, clothing, assisting with gas, supplies, and activities.

 

Yep.

 

That's the way it was when my father paid child support to my mother. He was still way better off financially than we were. My mother always struggled to make ends meet.

 

And that's the way it is with my ex.