Valid concerns, or get over it?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

FYI- This will be abbreviation filled!

 

Ds has an MT (mobile therapist, basically behavior therapist) for 2 hours per week, and TSS (therapeutic staff support, or an aide to assist in MT's goals) for 4 hours per week.

 

I like the MT but am not fond of her credentials or experience. However, she seems to be working out well.

 

I have issues with the TSS. Before asking the MT to find another TSS, I want to hear what you all think of my issues.

 

- TSS does not grasp the extent of ds's language problems. She expects things that he's not capable of, instead of helping him work on it (ex. if he has a fight with dd, TSS expects ds to state what happened, why he's upset, and what he could have done differently. Ds doesn't talk without prompts, and doesn't understand his feelings well enough to verbalize. TSS is supposed to script an after fight conversation). This extends to video games, board games, and card games. She is supposed to be getting ds to talk to her the whole time she's here. Instead she has cut him off, "shhhh'ed" him, and doesn't bother to try and understand when he's not clear.

 

-TSS has said on a few occasions that all she sees in ds is ADHD. She's not a Dr. She's a mom to one typical 18 year old.This is not her place to comment, but it tells me that she's already judged and will not be able to help ds since he "only" has ADHD.

 

-TSS has uncontrolled asthma! I'm trying to get my kids to recognize their symptoms and learn to be self managed, and here's the TSS coughing like crazy, but saying that she doesn't believe in reliance on inhalers! Nor did she know pretreating before exercise (like walking to and from the park which includes a set of 66 stairs on a cool day) was possible. I specifically asked for a physically active TSS. There is no way I can knowingly ask her to hike, or even walk to the park again with us with uncontrolled asthma.

 

Those are my big 3 concerns. Is this enough to ask for a new TSS?

[ErinD]

Wow, I sure would. It sounds like she's really not a good fit...and judgemental to boot.

[Starr]

I say it is time for a new TSS. You have many concerns that are valid. Mostly it just doesn't seem like your son is getting the assistance he's due. If she doesn't get the main problem of language I don't see how it will get better. I would be sure you don't leave wiggle room for them saying to give her more time. The asthma is her concern but it does impact your family health education. Or you could go to the park every day and maybe she'll quit. ;)

[amo_mea_filiis.]

The asthma is her concern but it does impact your family health education. Or you could go to the park every day and maybe she'll quit. ;)

 

I agree completely, it's just that while I'm dosing dd with albuterol, TSS is coughing up a lung and complaining about inhaler reliance and big pharma! Ds was fine because he takes a daily med.

 

Park or hike with her every visit sounds like a great idea! LOL. :tongue_smilie:

[gingersmom]

You are the parent and if you are uncomfortable with her then absolutely request someone new.

 

When my son was receiving speech when he was 18 months old I went through several therapists before I found one I liked.

 

Time is too precious to be wasted on people who are not helping.

[Parrothead]

Yeah, it is okay to just say you don't think she is a good fit for your family without going into specifics.

[Chris in VA]

I agree with the "just not a good fit" line--

 

I had a therapist for ds when he was little (PT for shortened heel cords). She was so bouncy and loud, it just scared him. She couldn't understand why she couldn't "bond" with him, even saying, "I sang the C is for Cookie Monster song and he didn't like it!!!" Couldn't fathom a kid who actually had never seen Sesame Street (he was less than 2yo, and we didn't watch SS anyway...). She said we were over-bonded. Oh puleeez. Just because I was a SAHM and she left her twins when they were 6wks old...

 

Can you tell I still haven't gotten over it? :D

[In the Rain]

Time is too precious to be wasted on people who are not helping.

 

:iagree:It sounds like you have several valid reasons to ask for someone new. IMHO, The way she fails to acknowledge and encourage your ds's speech is reason enough.

[J-rap]

My husband has severe verbal apraxia since his stroke. We have learned that he will NOT get better unless he knows exactly what he needs to do in order to practice the various sounds, and then practices. For someone to say "Just say it" or "Tell me what happened" does absolutely nothing to help the situation. It only causes more frustration. We went through many ST's before finally finding one who knew EXACTLY what was needed, and his speech has come along tremendously. I can't tell you what a difference this has made. Everyone in the household needs to be on board with this. Get a new assistant. You need someone who has an understanding of this situation, or at least is very open to learning about it. (Does this sound strong enough? :))

[swellmomma]

I think they are valid concerns and I would put in for a new TSS. I would not leave it at just the "wrong fit for the family" line. I would be forthright with the MT that you want a new TSS because she is failing to meet the goals set by the MT (specifically failure or refusal to prompt ds), refuses to acknowledge the Dx and has indicated that she can not help ds, to the extent of attempting to Dx him herself. I would not mention the asthma. It is annoying but in and of itself not a problem for you other than teh fact that she regales you with comments of big pharma while you dose your dd. That I would mention that she attempts to undermine you as parent treating your child's medical issues by making these comments in front of the kids (if she does).

 

The reason I would be specific with the MT is twofold. 1 as someone who has been through many many therapists for my kids, you get labeled as the picky mom. They are less likely to be helpful in chosing a new TSS if they think you are just being picky, vs having solid concerns for your child's progress. Secondly, the way this woman is behaving is very unprofessional and needs to be brought to the attention of the MT. What if the next family she works with starts to listen to her more, stops medically treating their children, or starts believing a moajor issue is *only* ADHD etc. Based on my experience many families would be willing to grab that and run rather than continue to admit their child has other bigger issues. This can lead to the child failing to receive all the supports they need, parental frustration increases (I have experienced that first hand with my ds, if you believe your child has severe issues you offer more grace than if you think they are just being bad, or chosing to display that behaviour) and can have deadly consequences if the family buys into her drivel about inhalers etc. These are things that need to be addressed on a professional level from her higher ups.

 

So yes I would request a new TSS. I would list exactly what my concerns are. Keep in mind there is a fine line between voicing a concern and tattling, and so you have to tread carefully there, but it does need to be brought up to the MT imo. My focus is on ensuring the wellbeing of my kids (as is yours), I would not waste my time on someone that is not right for the job. If the problems were things like a pp mentioned about being too bouncy, I would just say wrong fit. But for the concerns you listed I would give an actual account of my concerns. And then I would let it go from my mind so that I would be ready to work with the next TSS with an open mind.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Thank you all! I will give the MT some specific reasons.

 

Most TSS's have experience with kids in school and their job is to keep kids on task, which is not something we're working on over here.