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Sensory, screeching, fits and "I hate you". What can I do?

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Ds3.5 has a lot of SPD. He is sensory seeking, so he is... energetic. I know he needs to do certain things. However there is a fine line between when it is a sensory thing and when he needs discipline and I don't know where that is at.


He screeches, periodically. Ear piercing feel it up your spine screeches. I tried doing what the OT said and that was to make him say words when he screeches. Hasn't worked yet and it has been a month. I have no idea how to get him to stop, I don't want to spank him, he doesn't even realize his is doing it until it is out and ringing in the rafters. What other ideas are there?


He has also gotten into a bad, very bad, habit of saying to everyone "I hate you". I do realize that he has no idea what it actually means, other than it expresses his displeasure but I would still like it to stop. I am currently ignoring him when he says it but don't know if that is the best course of action.


He also has fits when he doesn't get his way. For instance he wanted to use the "cutters" (scissors :)) this morning. I told him no, we can use them later. He cried and carried on dropped the scissors on the floor. I had to raise my voice (very loud and boom at him) in order for him to pick them up and put them on the table. He will pitch fits if he can't put hte lip on his cup, doesn't get his Thomas the Train plate and a couple other things I can't think of right now. How do I deal with that behavior?


He is my last child, and my first two where *NOTHING* like this. I am at a loss.


No wonder my blood pressure is high :tongue_smilie:

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My son had sensory issues and was a holy terror at that age. All I can say is there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


If you met my son today you would never believe the stories I could tell you.


I would take a deep breathe and let a few seconds/minute pass before you react.


I would also pick your battles. Some things are sensory and some things are just being 3 1/2 and not understanding why everything is not going your way.

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SPD frequently accompanies other differences/disorders in kids, such as undiagnosed Autistic Spectrum Disorders or ADHD. Have any other assessments been done?


You might want to pick up a copy of "What Your Explosive Child Is Trying to Tell You: Discovering the Pathway from Symptoms to Solutions by Dr. Douglas Riley"

Edited by Pippen
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Some things I personally "give in to" and accept that deep in his brain there is a reason this (like using the thomas plate) is vital to him.


You'll eventually learn the sensory and discipline line with time, but you have to realize that they feed into each other. Just like a kid who is hungry and tired is going to act out, a kid who doesn't have his sensory needs met is also going to act out (I don't believe on purpose).


Is it at all possible for you to ignore the screeching? If you'd like, I can email you a video of my son's screeching days!


I would (and do) ignore the hating comments. Sometimes I'll respond with I love you, too. We'll go back and forth a few times and he ends up hugging me and saying he doesn't really hate me, but was really mad. I doubt a 3 year old has the language to say that, but you could accept a hug as an apology.

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When my oldest was that age and would go into fits, sometimes I'd just take him into a big bear hug and talk softly to him. He'd struggle, of course, (and it's hard if there screeching involved) but in a strange way it seemed his strong emotions were really terrifying to him and so to be lovingly "contained and secured" actually helped calm him.


This may be different for your son, but it seemed that my son's issue wasn't so much that he simply didn't get his way, but that things were not going the way he'd planned in his mind and he couldn't handle the change in circumstance.


Eventually we went on the Feingold diet and in a couple months his fits ended. When he got upset we could talk him through it and no overwhelming meltdowns.


If he seems to be having true anger issues that aren't typical of a 3yo and/or is developing OCD/severe sensitivity kinds of symptoms, you might look into the Spectrum Balance diet. They've found that people who have very high levels of Manganese in their brains develop these characteristics. The diet essentially works to lower the level of manganese in the brain which will allow proper amounts of iron back in.




The pages talks a lot about autism, but the diet was originally designed to help people with abnormal anger/OCD/sensitivities.

Edited by Susan in TN
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