Is there a double standard when it comes to ogling?

[Marylou]

[i think that's the first time in my life I ever typed the word [i]ogling.[/i] Had to look it up :D; I thought it had 2 o's]

 

IDK, is there?

 

What if your dh was on a forum (as much as you are on this one) where the vast majority of posters are men.

 

And what if there were as many references to female singers and/or movie stars being eye candy, hotties and other various descriptive words to convey how wonderful it would be to find himself in their arms :001_huh:. Of course, complete with photos.

 

Yea, I know--it's all in fun. After a long day with the kids, can't we just share a few laughs? We're just unwinding, etc. etc. We love our dhs so much. Take a :chillpill: !

 

But if the men did the same (on their hypothetical forum), would it be so cute/funny?

 

Is there a double standard?

[HappyCrazyMama]

I wouldn't like it and I don't like it when the threads here take that turn either but I'm a prude and a stick in the mud.:)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, since I'm not picturing them nude or anything even remotely like that, I have no pricking of my conscience. When I say those things I'm joking while acknowledging that I do recognize that these men are attractive. But my heart and body are totally my husband's.

 

If my husband could say the same, then I would have no trouble with him looking at similar pictures of women in kilts. ;)

[3browneyedboys4me]

Well, this is an educational board for the most part. I can't imagine anyone having a problem with that. My dh spends a good deal of time on his sports boards reading, laughing and commenting on his favorite college team. I don't mind.

 

Now..if this were a chat room- no way! If I found out anything like that was going on...not cool. That is different. The two examples- the one here and the sports board are very specific in topic. I don't think you can get in too much trouble with either one.

 

Just my 2cents!:tongue_smilie:

[MomatHWTK]

I am totally guessing here, since I fall into the "stick in the mud" category, that ladies who are OK with a little chit chat about eye candy probably are a little more flexible about their DH having similar discussions. I guess it would only be a double standard if the goose does not approve of the same conversation being had by the gander. ;)

[5kidsforME]

I wouldn't like it and I don't like it when the threads here take that turn either but I'm a prude and a stick in the mud.:)

 

 

:iagree: I'm the same way.

[Marylou]

I just wonder how many others here (male and female) are like me and don't recommend this forum to fellow HSers because of it?

 

The whole WTM model is so classy and a great way to homeschool. This forum has given me so many great schooling ideas, but the ogling thing is just, IDK, cheesy, junior highish, a double standard that just looks bad, IMO.

 

Jokes about crock pots and and bean dip are funny. Reading about grown women drooling over eye candy just seems silly and wrong.

 

[And please don't tell me to just stay out of of those threads. Anyone who has been around here for more than a week knows that the pics and remarks can pop up in almost any thread!]

Edited February 12, 2012 by dmmosher

[justamouse]

Soo...you're equating men in kilts to pron and therefore other people will stay away because they're so much more morally upstanding?

 

OR they could be saying, hey, that's not only a smart group of parents, but they're fun, too, I want to hang with them.

 

And what, a guy in a kilt might show up in any thread so we need an AVERT YOUR EYES sign for you?

[Lawana]

I see it kind of like the difference between Harlequin romances and porn, except less explicit than Harlequin.

 

ETA: To respond more directly, I would have absolutely no problem with dh admiring and discussing a female in the way I see the men in kilts discussed here. So no, I don't think there is a double standard.

Edited February 12, 2012 by Lawana

[KidsHappen]

Not in my family. Hubby is just a free to admire and we don't confine our admiration to our own respective opposite sexes either. One of my Pinterest boards is titled, "Eye Candy - All Flavors" where I have pictures of nice looking men and women. I also have a board called real women, many of them nude (though in no way obscene). I just happen to admire the human body in many different forms as does my hubby. Neither of us have a problem saying that someone (of either sex) is nice looking. We have passed the trait on to our children as well although my younger girls are still more likely to comment on a nice looking girl than guy.

[joannqn]

I'm actually not all that attracted to most movie stars. I do have a thing for Strider...not Viggo...Strider.

 

Dh has one actress he always comments on when she's in a movie. Can't remember who she is though. I don't mind it.

 

That's about as far as we get with ogling.

[elegantlion]

I just wonder how many others here (male and female) are like me and don't recommend this forum to fellow HSers because of it?

 

The whole WTM model is so classy and a great way to homeschool. This forum has given me so many great schooling ideas, but the ogling thing is just, IDK, cheesy, junior highish, a double standard that just looks bad, IMO.

 

Jokes about crock pots and and bean dip are funny. Reading about grown women drooling over eye candy just seems silly and wrong.

 

[And please don't tell me to just stay out of of those threads. Anyone who has been around here for more than a week knows that the pics and remarks can pop up in almost any thread!]

 

Well since I participate in those threads, I will comment. Personally, I would not care if my dh did similarly. As Jean stated, there is a difference between noticing or commenting and lusting after another. What you refer to as a double standard may not be in another person's household.

 

If you chose not recommend this forum because of it, that is your decision. There are a slew of topics I'd prefer not to see posted. Admonishing others in thinly veiled questions while patting yourself on the back is one of them. ;)

[lovemykids]

My husband and I used to be very careful about this sort of thing, but we have recently lightened up in the past few years. Sorry to offend you. I did share the Ryan Gosling blog with him and we had a huge laugh (that is our life!). Being that I also mentioned him in my thread, I doubt that he will get offended. I would never imagine that any of us WTM ladies were being indiscriminate and or indecent in our thoughts, but rather that we were sharing a little joke.

 

We are all entitled to our opinions.

 

Oops, I didn’t like that way that sounded. It was probably the wine talking, lol. In a nutshell, no I wouldn’t mind. Carry on.:tongue_smilie:

Edited February 12, 2012 by lovemykids

[Amy in TX]

Soo...you're equating men in kilts to pron and therefore other people will stay away because they're so much more morally upstanding?

 

OR they could be saying, hey, that's not only a smart group of parents, but they're fun, too, I want to hang with them.

 

And what, a guy in a kilt might show up in any thread so we need an AVERT YOUR EYES sign for you?

 

To be fair, I don't think that's what she's doing. I understood her to be asking those who post pics of men in kilts and talk about drooling, swooning, etc.: would you be ok with your husbands on, say, a sports forum, occasionally posting pics of women and commenting on them in the same vein?

[Lawana]

To be fair, I don't think that's what she's doing. I understood her to be asking those who post pics of men in kilts and talk about drooling, swooning, etc.: would you be ok with your husbands on, say, a sports forum, occasionally posting pics of women and commenting on them in the same vein?

 

For me, at least, the answer is that if it were done in the same way as it is here, I would have no problem with it at all.

[kitten18]

My DH spends all his online time on a college football board. They keep it pretty clean there (for example, no swearing). I know they sometimes post pictures of pretty women, especially those associated with sports. I have no problem with that. No double standard.

 

Well since I participate in those threads, I will comment. Personally, I would not care if my dh did similarly. As Jean stated, there is a difference between noticing or commenting and lusting after another. What you refer to as a double standard may not be in another person's household.

 

If you chose not recommend this forum because of it, that is your decision. There are a slew of topics I'd prefer not to see posted. Admonishing others in thinly veiled questions while patting yourself on the back is one of them. ;)

:iagree:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Not a double standard here. DH notices other women. I notice other men.

 

I find it interesting that soo many women on threads like this talk about how their dh's wouldn't ever look at another woman, go to a strip club, look at porn. I think that a LOT of men go along to get along and their wives really don't know everything that they THINK they do.

[Ibbygirl]

My husband and I used to be very careful about this sort of thing, but we have recently lightened up in the past few years. Sorry to offend you. I did share the Ryan Gosling blog with him and we had a huge laugh (that is our life!). Being that I also mentioned him in my thread, I doubt that he will get offended. I would never imagine that any of us WTM ladies were being indiscriminate and or indecent in our thoughts, but rather that we were sharing a little joke.

 

We are all entitled to our opinions.

 

Oops, I didn’t like that way that sounded. It was probably the wine talking, lol. In a nutshell, no I wouldn’t mind. Carry on.:tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree::iagree: What she said. I guess since I'm one of the pics posters the OP is addressing me. My husband doesn't mind. He looks over my shoulder when I'm coming up with funny (at least to me ;) ) captions to put on a picture. He laughs and sometimes even gives me suggestions on what to put. He knows it's all just in fun and that I only have a heart for him. If he did the same it wouldn't bother me either.

[Catwoman]

:iagree::iagree: What she said. I guess since I'm one of the pics posters the OP is addressing me. My husband doesn't mind. He looks over my shoulder when I'm coming up with funny (at least to me ;) ) captions to put on a picture. He laughs and sometimes even gives me suggestions on what to put. He knows it's all just in fun and that I only have a heart for him. If he did the same it wouldn't bother me either.

 

I think the issue is more about whether it's all in fun, and just people being silly (as it is here -- it's not like we're posting explicit fantasies.) Also, for the most part, the photos here aren't particularly erotic or trashy (although that close-up of Sean Connery's face is really, really, really nice....;))

 

I think there is a huge difference between "he's droolworthy" and "I'd like to do (insert specific s#x act here) to her."

[Lawana]

I think the issue is more about whether it's all in fun, and just people being silly (as it is here -- it's not like we're posting explicit fantasies.) Also, for the most part, the photos here aren't particularly erotic or trashy (although that close-up of Sean Connery's face is really, really, really nice....;))

 

I think there is a huge difference between "he's droolworthy" and "I'd like to do (insert specific s#x act here) to her."

:iagree:Exactly.

[Ibbygirl]

I think the issue is more about whether it's all in fun, and just people being silly (as it is here -- it's not like we're posting explicit fantasies.) Also, for the most part, the photos here aren't particularly erotic or trashy (although that close-up of Sean Connery's face is really, really, really nice....;))

 

I think there is a huge difference between "he's droolworthy" and "I'd like to do (insert specific s#x act here) to her."

 

Absolutely! :iagree::iagree:

[Bang!Zoom!]

Over on each of our user control panels we have an option to NOT VIEW any photos on this board. Just de-check the image box.

 

No more images show up now.

 

If there are posters who one finds offensive in content repeatedly; just add them to the ignore box. Poof. Customized.

 

Scan tags on the board, if it says kilt/whatever as a clue-card, don't read.

 

If it really sends one into an outrage, notify a moderator, ask it to be removed or reviewed for appropriateness.

 

 

It is a fair question to ask about the climate socially - I am neither here nor there with it; I do not find asking the question as a loaded foreshadowing of any personal issues.

[UmMusa]

I wouldn't like it and I don't like it when the threads here take that turn either but I'm a prude and a stick in the mud.:)

 

:iagree:

[NanceXToo]

I think that:

 

1) It depends on the comments that go along with it. If the guys were being all lewd: "I'd like to do that!"...um, yeah, no. We don't say stuff like that.

 

2) It depends on the pictures themselves. We post relatively innocuous pictures of men in kilts from movie scenes or whatever, but if they were posting virtual porn that would be another story.

 

3) It depends on the intent. I think of what we do as silly fun but with good clean intent, just kind of playing around. We're not really doing it in a sexual fantasy kind of way.

 

Then again, my husband's a tattoo artist and body piercer and he puts his hands on other women sometimes for a living and I imagine some of them are quite pretty and scantily dressed depending on where the tattoo is going (although I do have a rule that says if it can't be covered by a bathing suit, you cannot tattoo or pierce it). :P He also buys industry-related magazines that shows tattooed men and women and plenty of the women in those tattoo magazines, while not porno magazines by any means, are VERY scantily clad.

 

I homeschool and care for my kids and look at Gerard and Russell in a kilt once in a while on a message board. I'm sure he wouldn't...nay, couldn't... begrudge me that. :lol:

Edited February 12, 2012 by NanceXToo

[Night Elf]

It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, it would seem quite normal. Men have the right to talk just like women do. I think double standards are stupid. I also sense that it's okay for women to talk with friends about problems (marriage, bedroom) but it's shocking if a man talks with his buddies about similar things. And I don't understand how it's assumed that when women say these things, we're joking around but if men say them, they are automatically assumed to be on the verge of adultery. I don't go for that 'women are squishy emotional and men are rock hard that shouldn't be emotional' stuff. I prefer being married to a living guy and not a robot.

[Remudamom]

I don't think it's appropriate for men or women.

[Aelwydd]

I just wonder how many others here (male and female) are like me and don't recommend this forum to fellow HSers because of it?

 

The whole WTM model is so classy and a great way to homeschool. This forum has given me so many great schooling ideas, but the ogling thing is just, IDK, cheesy, junior highish, a double standard that just looks bad, IMO.

 

Jokes about crock pots and and bean dip are funny. Reading about grown women drooling over eye candy just seems silly and wrong.

 

[And please don't tell me to just stay out of of those threads. Anyone who has been around here for more than a week knows that the pics and remarks can pop up in almost any thread!]

 

I don't often recommend this forum because I'm afraid that many of my parent friends who ps would read disdainful posts like the above. Such statements would only reinforce their stereotypes of hs'ers who can't handle irreverent humor without getting bent out of shape.

 

So, since neither one of us is happy with the too permissive/too starchy atmosphere of the board, I propose we call it a wash, and just accept that it's never going to conform 100% to our individual tastes.

[Jennifer3141]

It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, it would seem quite normal. Men have the right to talk just like women do. I think double standards are stupid. I also sense that it's okay for women to talk with friends about problems (marriage, bedroom) but it's shocking if a man talks with his buddies about similar things. And I don't understand how it's assumed that when women say these things, we're joking around but if men say them, they are automatically assumed to be on the verge of adultery. I don't go for that 'women are squishy emotional and men are rock hard that shouldn't be emotional' stuff. I prefer being married to a living guy and not a robot.

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

And my DH does ogle other women and frankly, I don't care. When I see an ogle worthy man, I do it too. However, I do it better. :D

[Laura in MI]

I think that:

 

1) It depends on the comments that go along with it. If the guys were being all lewd: "I'd like to do that!"...um, yeah, no. We don't say stuff like that.

 

2) It depends on the pictures themselves. We post relatively innocuous pictures of men in kilts from movie scenes or whatever, but if they were posting virtual porn that would be another story.

 

3) It depends on the intent. I think of what we do as silly fun but with good clean intent, just kind of playing around. We're not really doing it in a sexual fantasy kind of way.

 

:iagree:

[Soror]

I don't think it's appropriate for men or women.

 

:iagree: Noticing someone is an attractive person, yes, but that is as far as it goes. I don't think it is something we should spend time on but I don't suddenly see all other men as ugly.Tthat doesn't mean I desire them in any way though. The thought skeeves me out to be honest.

[kalanamak]

But if the men did the same (on their hypothetical forum), would it be so cute/funny?

 

Is there a double standard?

 

When done in a spirit of fun, it is fine for either sex. When it is done with everyone with their hands in the pants, ewwwwwww. What was that line about smut: I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it.

 

I know a couple of middle aged docs, both reasonably fit and handsome, who took a package trip together to Israel. Everyone else was a peer, but a married couple. They both are completely straight, but one's gf was busy and the wife was too scared. One is a Russian Jew and the other an Austrian. Somewhere early on in the trip all the other couples decided they were a "pair", and treated them with amusing kindness and respect. One could hear the comments when they got back to Independence, MO: "Phyllis, there was the cutest gay couple from Seattle on board. They were SO domestic."

 

Well, the men played into this, getting each other cups of tea, etc. After meals they had to go to the their room and let their laughter go. But no one was hurt, no one was belittled, and while it was not something my staid mother would have done, I consider it harmless fun. Even Phyllis in Independence might have laughed.

[butterflymommy]

I have a male friend who works for a major cooperation... there are any number of older women high up on the food chain in his department. Once he was out to lunch with some of them and they were oohing and ahhing over a recent new male hire in his 20s... it struck him that if the genders were reversed they could be written up for sexual harassment. This double standard is typical, women just aren't assumed to be as lecherous as men.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I don't often recommend this forum because I'm afraid that many of my parent friends who ps would read disdainful posts like the above. Such statements would only reinforce their stereotypes of hs'ers who can't handle irreverent humor without getting bent out of shape.

 

So, since neither one of us is happy with the too permissive/too starchy atmosphere of the board, I propose we call it a wash, and just accept that it's never going to conform 100% to our individual tastes.

 

I feel the same way. I DO tell people that, while there is some uptighterry here, the good far outweighs the bad.....usually. :001_smile:

[Jennifer3141]

I feel the same way. I DO tell people that, while there is some uptighterry here, the good far outweighs the bad.....usually. :001_smile:

 

I simply give people a list of 10 people to block right away. The board seems so much better!! :D

[Aelwydd]

I simply give people a list of 10 people to block right away. The board seems so much better!! :D

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[mommymilkies]

I see it as a joke. I don't look at the Ryan Gossling pictures to drool over, but to joke about what is said because I know my dh would never do such things. :lol: I have openly told dh that kilts are wonderful, though. ;)

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Yes, I think there is a double standard, in that women can get away with the ogling and ooohing and aaahing over a handsome man more than men if they did the same over a gorgeous woman. But, if it's all in fun, I personally don't see any harm in it. DH knows I'm mad about Colin Firth and he thinks it's funny. He always tells me when he finds out my "boyfriend" is in a new movie. My husband barely notices when a real, live woman flirts with him out in the open, and doesn't really have a movie star he would go on about, but he has occasionally mentioned thinking someone is pretty, and I'm fine with that. I'd be okay if he had a movie star "girlfriend", too.

[pqr]

Speaking as a male poster, I find the "men in skirts" photos (oops should I say kilts or Scottish skirts?) rather silly, but no i do not take any offense. This board is primarily haunted by females and it would be outrageous of me to demand that (as a tiny minority on this board) you modify your behavior to suit me, Men in skirts seem to be part of this board's culture and if I took offense I should leave, just as I would leave a club whose culture I did not like rather than presumptuously demand that they change to suit me.

 

This is a microcosm of society, need the majority change thir behavior to assuage the feelings of a very few, need you lose an element of harmless pleasure because a few take offense. If you think yes then start an activist movement to remove all such pictures, if you believe that this board is freely joined or left then keep thing as they are. Those who do not like it will leave.

 

One final thought would it be acceptable to post beach photos of women in bikinis here, simply for those few men here who might find such photos appealing? I say no. The majority does have rights and may set their standards.

Edited February 12, 2012 by pqr

[beaners]

I thought the Hey Girl pictures with men that were fully clothed were amusing. I wasn't as crazy about the ones with naked, sweaty men. I'm also not crazy about the threads filled with pictures of guys just to look at. I didn't do the teen pin-up thing in middle school or high school either, so I might just have a flaw in my programming. It's just not my thing.

[Paintedlady]

I wouldn't like it and I don't like it when the threads here take that turn either but I'm a prude and a stick in the mud.:)

 

:iagree: If I see a thread going in that direction (or starts from that direction ;)) I try to steer clear of it.

[Farrar]

No double standard in our house. As a couple of people said, we're both free to admire.

 

But in general society? Sometimes. And the way the "Hey Girl" images are laid out - with fully clothed men talking about housework, food, and other completely non-sexual things - sort of reinforces it to some extent by implying that women care about all those things a lot more than sex.

[Julie in CA]

As a rule, I don't ogle. I also must have missed out on the threads that had mostly or partially unclothed, sweaty, handsome guys. :001_huh:

 

The reason I found the Ryan Gosling thread so entertaining was not that I was ogling & lusting for some other guy. It was because it was handsome guys saying very, very domestic things. Ordinary things.

 

If my dh happened to see a picture of a fully-clothed woman saying something like, "Dude, I know you've had a tough day at work, so I baked you this pie and turned on ESPN for you." (without any double-entendre) then I would be totally fine with that. That would be the exact equal to what I've done. :001_smile:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I simply give people a list of 10 people to block right away. The board seems so much better!! :D

 

 

Whew! I guess I'm not on your list or you wouldn't have quoted me! (I KNOW that I'm on some people's ignore lists because I have defended their position in threads and it's like I'm talking to myself.) ;)

 

It's okay to write that since they won't see it. :lol:

[Jennifer3141]

Whew! I guess I'm not on your list or you wouldn't have quoted me! (I KNOW that I'm on some people's ignore lists because I have defended their position in threads and it's like I'm talking to myself.) ;)

 

It's okay to write that since they won't see it. :lol:

 

You're on my GOOD list, babe. :lol::lol::lol:

I see you!!! :D

[dirty ethel rackham]

I guess I do have a double standard. I find a man ogling a woman who is not his wife more threatening than a woman ogling a man - at least the way it is done on this board. Here, it is more of a joke, a way to lighten the mood. But when men ogle other women, it seems to pack more of a punch. To be honest, there is a double standard in our society when it comes to appearance. Our society places higher values on attractiveness for women and, due to the unreasonable standards in the entertainment and advertising industries, it has become an unattainable ideal. Women are constantly bombarded with messages about how they are not good enough and then, when a man ogles someone more attractive, it sends a different message. At least, this is how I perceive it.

[NanceXToo]

I simply give people a list of 10 people to block right away. The board seems so much better!! :D

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[mommymilkies]

As a rule, I don't ogle. I also must have missed out on the threads that had mostly or partially unclothed, sweaty, handsome guys. :001_huh:

 

The reason I found the Ryan Gosling thread so entertaining was not that I was ogling & lusting for some other guy. It was because it was handsome guys saying very, very domestic things. Ordinary things.

 

If my dh happened to see a picture of a fully-clothed woman saying something like, "Dude, I know you've had a tough day at work, so I baked you this pie and turned on ESPN for you." (without any double-entendre) then I would be totally fine with that. That would be the exact equal to what I've done. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:

[Catwoman]

Sometimes I add to the jokes, but frankly I feel nothing when I look at those pictures.

 

:iagree:

 

It's all in fun, at least as far as I'm concerned. Men in kilts have been a running joke here for a long time, and I have never known anyone to step over the line and make a truly inappropriate comment in any of the threads.

 

I guess I just don't see the stuff here as being suggestive. I think it's all about lightening things up, being a little silly, and having some fun.

 

It never dawned on me that anyone would find kilt pictures offensive, and I am sure I'm not the only person who feels that way. I also never thought the little jokes would have been a problem for anyone, and I certainly never intended to upset anyone with anything I said.

 

Hot Guys in Kilts Photos = Offensive enough not to recommend this forum to newbies??? Not even on my radar.

[TXBeth]

I wouldn't like it and I don't like it when the threads here take that turn either but I'm a prude and a stick in the mud.:)

 

Me, too. I'm not actually offended by the kilt pics here, though; they just don't interest me.

 

I am totally guessing here, since I fall into the "stick in the mud" category, that ladies who are OK with a little chit chat about eye candy probably are a little more flexible about their DH having similar discussions. I guess it would only be a double standard if the goose does not approve of the same conversation being had by the gander. ;)

 

Good point.

 

I just wonder how many others here (male and female) are like me and don't recommend this forum to fellow HSers because of it?

 

The whole WTM model is so classy and a great way to homeschool. This forum has given me so many great schooling ideas, but the ogling thing is just, IDK, cheesy, junior highish, a double standard that just looks bad, IMO.

 

Jokes about crock pots and and bean dip are funny. Reading about grown women drooling over eye candy just seems silly and wrong.

 

[And please don't tell me to just stay out of of those threads. Anyone who has been around here for more than a week knows that the pics and remarks can pop up in almost any thread!]

 

This is true of me. Although I am not offended by the frequent references to "eye candy" in the middle of threads where you might not expect it, I know many of my homeschooling friends would be. So I don't recommend the site to them because I don't want them thinking I enjoy that kind of thing.

 

I think the issue is more about whether it's all in fun, and just people being silly (as it is here -- it's not like we're posting explicit fantasies.) Also, for the most part, the photos here aren't particularly erotic or trashy (although that close-up of Sean Connery's face is really, really, really nice....;))

 

I think there is a huge difference between "he's droolworthy" and "I'd like to do (insert specific s#x act here) to her."

 

Very good point. That is why the threads here don't bother me. It seems like people are really just joking. I just skim through to see if I missed any interesting conversation and then move on.

I have a hard time believing that similar "droolworthy pic" threads on any given guy/sports forum would not degenerate into "I'd like to do X to her."

 

I have a male friend who works for a major cooperation... there are any number of older women high up on the food chain in his department. Once he was out to lunch with some of them and they were oohing and ahhing over a recent new male hire in his 20s... it struck him that if the genders were reversed they could be written up for sexual harassment. This double standard is typical, women just aren't assumed to be as lecherous as men.

 

Very true. In society in general, not just this board, I do believe there is a double standard, maybe because of the below.

 

I guess I do have a double standard. I find a man ogling a woman who is not his wife more threatening than a woman ogling a man - at least the way it is done on this board. Here, it is more of a joke, a way to lighten the mood. But when men ogle other women, it seems to pack more of a punch. To be honest, there is a double standard in our society when it comes to appearance. Our society places higher values on attractiveness for women and, due to the unreasonable standards in the entertainment and advertising industries, it has become an unattainable ideal. Women are constantly bombarded with messages about how they are not good enough and then, when a man ogles someone more attractive, it sends a different message. At least, this is how I perceive it.

[*********]

I agree with dmmosher, and I don't think she's saying she's 'better' than anyone else because she doesn't like those posts.

 

Yes, there's a double standard, I believe.

 

And, I've been feeling the same way about the kilt pics, and was afraid to say something for fear of being slammed.

 

I don't think 'less' of you ladies who post the pics and whatever. But some of us don't really care for it, and I think it should be ok to say that.

 

And no, I wouldn't want my dh posting pics of pretty women on his forums, either. And he wouldn't; not because I don't like it, but because he wouldn't want to.

 

I don't have any problems with there being a 'cute kilt pics' thread or whatever; I can just not read it. But when they pop up in random threads? Yeah, not a fan.

 

And maybe some of the ladies who post them didn't realize that others don't really care for it. So, now they do. No need to get offended, or accuse dmmosher or anyone else of being holier than thou or whatever.