bnrmom Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 So I've posted before about my sister. In a nutshell, my mom encountered financial difficulties last summer, could no longer pay her rent, and had to move in with me last fall. My sister (who lives locally and has no kids or job - goes to art school) completely bailed, and didn't do one single thing to help my mom pack and move or to help me renovate my house to accomodate my mom. Never heard one word from her. My mom had hip surgery 4 weeks ago. My sister was around a bit the first week, and then completely bailed. My mom had complications and ended up back in the ER and ICU last week. I have spent every single day the last four weeks taking care of her, from dinners to emptying barf bowls to changing sheets. You name it, I've done it. We haven't heard from my sister in 3 weeks. She hasn't even called to see how my mom is doing. Tonight my SIL was over briefly dropping my son off, and asked a question about my mom's dog. I said "I don't know, I haven't heard from my sister in 3 weeks." (My sister had watched my mom's dog briefly while my mom was in the hospital.) My mom was sitting there, and started telling me it was inappropriate for me to say that. I kind of looked at her, and was like, uh, what? It's the truth! I told my mom that there was nothing wrong with me saying that. My mom continued to argue with me, obviously defensive about my sister's outrageously selfish behavior and trying to make me look like the bad guy for mentioning it. My mom kept at me, and then, in front of my sister in law says, "Well, I think it's low class. It's just low class of you to say that." It was all I could do to not scream at her. My SIL, obviously uncomfortable, left soon afterwards, and I had a short but heated discussion with my mom telling her that she has no right to tell me who I can and cannot talk to about my sister. And good golly, all I said was "I haven't heard from her in 3 weeks." It wasn't like I was calling her names. To jump to my sister's defense and be insulting and disrespectful to me in front of my SIL after everything I've been doing these past 6 months - I just don't even know how to calm down. I haven't spoken to her all evening because I don't want to scream at her, but I am so angry I can barely breathe. I know she's going through a hard time, physically and emotionally. I have tried to have compassion and sympathy this past month. But this feels like the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't want her living here anymore. I love my mom, but I can't take the family dysfunction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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