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Birthday party "no gifts please" help.


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Don't know what's been suggested beyond the first page, but the other thing to do is to disassociate this event from her birthday and don't really call it a party. I'd skip formal invites and call people and say something like, "DD has been wanting to do X and we'd like your child to join us at our expense." Obviously the our expense is only if you have the party at a venue, if it is just at home, just invite them over for tea or dinner, or whatever.

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????

 

At what time were gifts for a kid's birthday party not de rigueur? When I was a kid (and I'm NOT saying when that was...), it was always expected to bring a gift. There's a bunch of episodes of Leave it to Beaver, made in the 1950s, that center around birthday parties, and everyone brings a gift. This isn't some recent decline of civilized society brought about by the hippies, Vatican II or the Internet, it has been like this for a long time.

 

I'm relatively sure you're wrong. Remember "way back" when life was perfect and children were always respectful? Before crock pots? That's when presents weren't obligatory.

 

Of course, that was also a dark time - there wasn't liberal internet access to kilt pictures, so you take the good with the bad.

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????

 

At what time were gifts for a kid's birthday party not de rigueur? When I was a kid (and I'm NOT saying when that was...), it was always expected to bring a gift. There's a bunch of episodes of Leave it to Beaver, made in the 1950s, that center around birthday parties, and everyone brings a gift. This isn't some recent decline of civilized society brought about by the hippies, Vatican II or the Internet, it has been like this for a long time.

 

There's a story in Little House on the Prairie where there is a party and LAura and Mary don't take a gift.

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I think people tend to bring gifts to children's parties even when the invitation says, "no gifts," because it's quite unusual to find a child who doesn't want presents for his or her birthday, and they don't want the birthday kid to be disappointed.

 

Party guests may wonder who came up with the "no gifts" idea -- and assume it was the parents, because they didn't want more toys and clutter in their house, not the child, because most of us don't know many kids would want a birthday party without a bunch of presents to open.

 

:iagree: If I received the invite, I would probably think it was the parent's idea (and would send a gift anyway, probably something like a giftcard or something ;)) unless I had talked to the mom/dad and realized this was the child's idea. Now, I DON'T think it is rude...not one bit! I think it is wonderful that your child is already selflessly thinking of others. But I would just give your dc a 'head's up' that she may get gifts anyway.

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:iagree: If I received the invite, I would probably think it was the parent's idea (and would send a gift anyway, probably something like a giftcard or something ;)) unless I had talked to the mom/dad and realized this was the child's idea. Now, I DON'T think it is rude...not one bit! I think it is wonderful that your child is already selflessly thinking of others. But I would just give your dc a 'head's up' that she may get gifts anyway.

 

That's why I will be wording it such that her name is the one doing the requesting.

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:iagree: If I received the invite, I would probably think it was the parent's idea (and would send a gift anyway, probably something like a giftcard or something ;)) unless I had talked to the mom/dad and realized this was the child's idea. Now, I DON'T think it is rude...not one bit! I think it is wonderful that your child is already selflessly thinking of others. But I would just give your dc a 'head's up' that she may get gifts anyway.

 

That's why I will be wording it such that her name is the one doing the requesting.

 

I don't think my dd is necessarily selfless - it's just that we provide her with what she needs and a reasonable amount of what she wants.

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