Momma H Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Ok, this is not a typical rant. My baby is just kind of awkward. I have wondered a long time about what is up with her and I just can't really tell. She is, and always has been immature for her age. She has some weird things she does like when she paints nails, she is really really sloppy. When she makes pictures (she loves to draw dresses) they are pretty childish looking compared to others her age. She was a late reader and had dyslexia and I thing auditory processing issues. Often, she will barge in to a conversation and not realize it. She does not catch a lot of things that others do. Her spelling is awful. She has always been a couple of years behind in school. She does not catch on to things. I think it has something to do with higher order thinking. And lately we have noticed she is embellishing stories. It is not that she is lying, she just likes to make things that happen to and around her sound funnier and more special than they really are. I have also noticed her being alone at church more. I think there is some glitch she has but I just can not put my finger on it. She has always just had some things about her that are off a little bit. Normally, no one else seemed to notice and she had lots of friends but I think her embellishing may be becoming a problem. I talked to her about it last night and she understood what I was saying. We are going to try and help her recognize what she is doing so she can knock it off but I just feel like something is glitching in her. I keep thinking she is going to blossom, that she will become mature in her time and things will click but so far it hasn't and it is hard to see it hurt her. Any thoughts? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 My oldest is this way...always has been. She is not who I WANTED her to be... but she is who she is and I love her for it-- and that took a LONG TIME (getting over my disappointment). Oldest has always been one step behind socially and academically. Always. When she was in elementary (public, private then home since 3rd grade) she always had friends--but once puberty hit--age 12-- Oldest became so 'different' compared to her peers that they shunned her... it was so sad! Oldest was so behind academically that I nearly gave up on her-- we 'graduated' her at age 19 and she could only write basic paragraphs, never completed a high school Science or History class, had only 2 years of high school Math (and that was like pulling teeth and I'm a math teacher by profession!)... we schooled-- but it just did not stick! Fast forward 3 years. Oldest is now 21. She still lives at home but just put in a deposit on an apartment for next fall. She will be GRADUATING WITH HONORS with a 3 yr degree from the community college this summer!! She has learned the art of writing-- especially useful in her current classes that require 3000 word summaries each week in addition to other research papers! She does put in more hours studying compared to her peers-- but it has paid off! -- Love your daughter for who she IS-- encourage her, but don't try to make her into who YOU want her to be. :grouphug: It can be hard-- don't look at other people's daughters and compare them to yours-- or even compare her to yourself... words of advice I can say now-- that I say/said on a daily basis for the last 21 years. My dd is special-- a BEAUTIFUL young woman with a HUGE BRIGHT future ahead of her. She just would not be the same without her quirkiness... Oh and also-- Homeschooling did not make her this way-- we homeschooled because Oldest WAS this way! Best choice we ever made!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallorie Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Jann, that is going to be one of my favorite posts, ever. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma H Posted February 6, 2012 Author Share Posted February 6, 2012 Thank you for your reply. :). I agree that I need to love her for her but sometimes as a mom, you just feel like it is not just personality but something different because it also shows up in physical ways (lack of fine motor skills). I don't want to make her feel different but I want to do some recon so if there IS something else I can help her with it. For example, some kids have a tough time learning to read and sometimes it is an actual learning glitch that can be worked on like dyslexia. If there is anything I am overlooking I want to know. I have just waited and watched so long. I don't want to drop the ball if I can help her. If it is just her personality, no problem. :). She is still great, she will find her way but it is hard to see something hurt her that I have recognized for a long time and have (in the back of my mind) thought I should see what is up with her. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Have you taken her to her doctor for an evaluation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Jann, that is going to be one of my favorite posts, ever. :) :iagree: your post was BEAUTIFUL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma H Posted February 6, 2012 Author Share Posted February 6, 2012 Have you taken her to her doctor for an evaluation? No, I not sure what kind of evaluation to do. Any thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Have her fine motor skills always been weak? I ask this because I think sometimes huge growth spurts can throw them off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbmom Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Everything you describe is pretty characteristic of children with dyslexia. Weak fine motor skills are one of the warning signs of learning disabilities. If she has dyslexia, it is very possible that the delay in fine motor skills is related. Additionally, dyslexic children do have social skill struggles as well-here's a good basic article on that- http://www.ldonline.org/article/Social_and_Emotional_Problems_Related_to_Dyslexia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma H Posted February 6, 2012 Author Share Posted February 6, 2012 Have her fine motor skills always been weak? I ask this because I think sometimes huge growth spurts can throw them off. Yes, they have. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnygirl Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 I think it has something to do with higher order thinking. LOTS of discussion on the SN board about Executive Functioning and what we can do to help our dc's who need training in these skills. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Personally, I would get an evaluation done, b/c sometimes pinpointing certain issues makes it easier to address them. Conversely, it can help to know that some things will likely always be difficult. I definitely think we need to accept out kids for who they are, but more information is always better, imo. I would want a broad evaluation done by a team of professionals (as opposed to testing for a specific LD like dyslexia or even academics overall). If you can't or don't wish to get this done via the public school system, they still may be able to point you in the right direction. Or if you have universities near you with education colleges, they can help. She is 12, so I would simply tell her that she is approaching high school and you need to assess her and beginning addressing gaps and figuring out the best ways to teach her. My dd13 is going to have an assessment and her first standardized testing this year for that very reason, and she doesn't have any issues to speak of, it's just a reasonable thing to do. There are different routines and expectations in high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shifra Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 (edited) I also have a child who has poor motor skills. Puberty, believe it or not, helps a little bit! But not enough that you should encourage a profession that requires good motor skills like nursing. As far as the awkwardness, it will probably always remain, but most social skills can be learned to a certain extent. Manners, after all, is a "social dance" where everybody is supposed to know the steps. American Girl has books like A Smart Girls Guide to Manners, A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles, A Smart Girl's Guide to Knowing What to Say and A Smart Girl's Guide to Parties that may help her walk through social situations. If she has trouble reading these books, you could read them aloud to her and role play. I also love Miss Manners! If your local paper gets her column, you may want to (selectively) read aloud to her the situations and discuss how to respond. Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children is also a great guide. Oh, and by the way, my oldest (she's 20), who like I said had poor motor skills was also a late bloomer and a relatively poor student. Many years went by, and I thought to myself (including the summer of 2011!), "When will she grow up?" :glare:. Well, when she came home for winter break just a couple of weeks ago, I finally saw a maturity breakthrough! I should have known, though. My husband was also a late bloomer (and because we married young, I was there for some of the growing up process :lol:). So it could be that your daughter will just need a lot of hand holding for some time, maybe well into the college years. However, this is not to preclude a special needs evaluation. You would probably want to get one done, if possible. If nothing else, it may save you from regrets later, if indeed something serious needs to be done. Edited February 6, 2012 by Shifra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 My oldest is this way...always has been. She is not who I WANTED her to be... but she is who she is and I love her for it-- and that took a LONG TIME (getting over my disappointment). Oldest has always been one step behind socially and academically. Always. When she was in elementary (public, private then home since 3rd grade) she always had friends--but once puberty hit--age 12-- Oldest became so 'different' compared to her peers that they shunned her... it was so sad! Oldest was so behind academically that I nearly gave up on her-- we 'graduated' her at age 19 and she could only write basic paragraphs, never completed a high school Science or History class, had only 2 years of high school Math (and that was like pulling teeth and I'm a math teacher by profession!)... we schooled-- but it just did not stick! Fast forward 3 years. Oldest is now 21. She still lives at home but just put in a deposit on an apartment for next fall. She will be GRADUATING WITH HONORS with a 3 yr degree from the community college this summer!! She has learned the art of writing-- especially useful in her current classes that require 3000 word summaries each week in addition to other research papers! She does put in more hours studying compared to her peers-- but it has paid off! -- Love your daughter for who she IS-- encourage her, but don't try to make her into who YOU want her to be. :grouphug: It can be hard-- don't look at other people's daughters and compare them to yours-- or even compare her to yourself... words of advice I can say now-- that I say/said on a daily basis for the last 21 years. My dd is special-- a BEAUTIFUL young woman with a HUGE BRIGHT future ahead of her. She just would not be the same without her quirkiness... Oh and also-- Homeschooling did not make her this way-- we homeschooled because Oldest WAS this way! Best choice we ever made!!! __________________ Jann in TX :party: My heart went gooshy with your beautiful words. I am going to go hug my children now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 No, I not sure what kind of evaluation to do. Any thoughts? Nothing specific. I like the idea of a broad general eval just to cover all the basis. It could be her personality. It could be dyslexia. It could be some kind of neuro-motor disorder. The list of what could be going on is long. Having a general eval would narrow things down and get you pointed in the right direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma H Posted February 6, 2012 Author Share Posted February 6, 2012 Thank you to everyone, I feel encouraged. I am going to follow up and see about some testing and I am going to look into the dyslexia thing. I figured since I spend big (big) bucks and she is now reading, (she is not a very strong reader though--she breezes over many long words and does not "get" a lot.....sigh.....) I just didn't consider what her dyslexia means to her over all peron. Good stuff to think on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie-txmama2six Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 My oldest is this way...always has been. She is not who I WANTED her to be... but she is who she is and I love her for it-- and that took a LONG TIME (getting over my disappointment). Oldest has always been one step behind socially and academically. Always. When she was in elementary (public, private then home since 3rd grade) she always had friends--but once puberty hit--age 12-- Oldest became so 'different' compared to her peers that they shunned her... it was so sad! Oldest was so behind academically that I nearly gave up on her-- we 'graduated' her at age 19 and she could only write basic paragraphs, never completed a high school Science or History class, had only 2 years of high school Math (and that was like pulling teeth and I'm a math teacher by profession!)... we schooled-- but it just did not stick! Fast forward 3 years. Oldest is now 21. She still lives at home but just put in a deposit on an apartment for next fall. She will be GRADUATING WITH HONORS with a 3 yr degree from the community college this summer!! She has learned the art of writing-- especially useful in her current classes that require 3000 word summaries each week in addition to other research papers! She does put in more hours studying compared to her peers-- but it has paid off! -- Love your daughter for who she IS-- encourage her, but don't try to make her into who YOU want her to be. :grouphug: It can be hard-- don't look at other people's daughters and compare them to yours-- or even compare her to yourself... words of advice I can say now-- that I say/said on a daily basis for the last 21 years. My dd is special-- a BEAUTIFUL young woman with a HUGE BRIGHT future ahead of her. She just would not be the same without her quirkiness... Oh and also-- Homeschooling did not make her this way-- we homeschooled because Oldest WAS this way! Best choice we ever made!!! Thank you for posting this. I really needed to hear this today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.