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Limiting screen time. Logistics?


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I need to limit my boys screen time. I like the idea I've seen many of you talk about where you use it as a reward/punishment (i.e. if you don't follow directions, you'll lose 5 minutes).

 

But how does this work? Does each child get his/her own minute count or is it shared? If one child disobeys, do they both lose the TV time, or do I just send that one out of the room for the last 5 minutes of the show? Thanks.

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I'm probably the minority, but it seems easiest to limit it altogether. Maybe at least during the week? They'll be more apt to use their energy to find other things to do when they know it is no/not/never an option, instead of using their energy to weedle and pester for some more time here and there. And then you don't have the hassle of trying to keep track of someone's minutes and punishments.

 

Aside from some sports they watch with dh, my kids watch zero tv and show no interest in it either. At least, they never ask. And they are enthralled with any educational video I get out of the library! Doesn't matter the topic. :) I usually use them for haircutting time. We don't have a Wii or other electronic games.

 

So, not what you were asking, but just a thought. Especially since your kids are so young now; it'd be easier to change habits earlier rather than later.

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I've found it best if I don't even give the TV any power by making it a reward or punishment. Does that make sense? What I mean is that the TV just isn't an issue, and they know they cannot turn it on until school, chores, dinner, showers, etc are done. The only exception is if I have an educational show/movie lined up for them. So that means it usually doesn't come on until late in the evening, when they watch a show or two with their dad. They do get more screen time on the weekend, and I frankly don't care if they spend all day Saturday watching TV. But they don't. They play in their rooms, play games, and play outside a lot. That's what they prefer.

 

My youngest would be a TV-aholic if we let her though. Sometimes she tries to turn it on first thing in the morning, and I just turn it off. She sometimes whines a little, but she gets over it. She knows the rules, but of course, she's my kid that will push any boundary she can. I just have to stick to my guns.

 

I know I'm not really answering your question because you asked about the logistics of using it as a reward or punishment. But I just wanted to show you that it doesn't have to be such a big deal. And at your boys' ages, I think I would hesitate to make it a big deal.

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We have 6 kids and they get 8 tix a week worth 1/2 hour of screen time (tv, movie, computer, etc.) each. If they want to hang out with a sib and watch, they also pay their ticket. I have 6 kids and if we didn't have this system, I'd go crazy with all the tv noise going on!

 

jeri

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This is our system:

 

Each child has a laminated name card and a return pocket on the side of the fridge. Under these are (at the start of the week) 16 small lamenated tvs that say "30minutes". Each time they want to watch or play something with a screen they pull one tv off the fridge and place it in their return pocket. our fridge was the best place I could think of, so I slapped magnets on the backs and went for it.

 

Each child also has paper clips on the top of thier name label. If all three clips are on the label, they have all thier privileges. If one paper clip has been moved to the top of the envelope, they have no wii/iPod privileges. Two paper clips means that plus no tv. No paper clips means losing other fun stuff. (I have to do paper clips b/c I cannot keep straight who has all their privileges at any given moment. *sigh* My mother warned me that kids suck your brainpower. )

 

The other fine points:

 

If you are watching brother play wii, it costs you a token.

If you are watching Angelina Ballerina waiting for your turn to pick a "big kid" show, it still costs you a token.

We have about 10 timers in this house; if you are using screen time, you had better be using one.

If you are over the age of 6 and "forget" to remove a token, I'll take two.

No screen before all school work and chores are done.

 

Oh, and if I have to send you out of the room for bad behavior you can forfeit whatever time you had left.

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I don't do the lose 5 minutes thing. Either they earn it or they don't. I can't stand having to micromanage the screen time.

 

Lately I've used a checklist. If my son does everything on the checklist, he gets screen time that day. If he does it 5 times in a week, he gets screen time on the weekend (highly coveted).

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One of my biggest objections to the whole elaborate rewards and punishments thing is the idea that it takes a huge amount of effort to micromanage it. I can only imagine trying to manage screen time with tickets and five minute increments of rewards and punishments would just take a huge chunk of my brain time and lead to my kids grubbing and whining about it all the time.

 

We limit it to certain times. I let them have extra as a treat sometimes - holidays, occasional needed everyone needs a break days, and when they're sick - but otherwise it's only during certain times of the day. I don't take it away unless it's for a specific other purpose. When that's done (finishing schoolwork, housework, etc.) then the screens can begin.

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This is our system:

 

Each child has a laminated name card and a return pocket on the side of the fridge. Under these are (at the start of the week) 16 small lamenated tvs that say "30minutes". Each time they want to watch or play something with a screen they pull one tv off the fridge and place it in their return pocket. our fridge was the best place I could think of, so I slapped magnets on the backs and went for it.

 

Each child also has paper clips on the top of thier name label. If all three clips are on the label, they have all thier privileges. If one paper clip has been moved to the top of the envelope, they have no wii/iPod privileges. Two paper clips means that plus no tv. No paper clips means losing other fun stuff. (I have to do paper clips b/c I cannot keep straight who has all their privileges at any given moment. *sigh* My mother warned me that kids suck your brainpower. )

 

The other fine points:

 

If you are watching brother play wii, it costs you a token.

If you are watching Angelina Ballerina waiting for your turn to pick a "big kid" show, it still costs you a token.

We have about 10 timers in this house; if you are using screen time, you had better be using one.

If you are over the age of 6 and "forget" to remove a token, I'll take two.

No screen before all school work and chores are done.

 

Oh, and if I have to send you out of the room for bad behavior you can forfeit whatever time you had left.

Pictures?

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I read a great suggestion in a book about making the TV NOT the focal point in the living room. I think it would help limit the screen time. For us, in our current apartment, there is no way to not have the couch facing the TV.

 

Right now, my son gets 1 show (20 min) after breakfast, and 1 more after nap. These are loosely educational, and entertain him long enough for Mommy to get some dishes done. :D

 

When he and his sister are older, we will be limiting time on most electronic devices - computer, game systems (since we own several), and TV. I like a lot of the reward systems I have seen posted here (timers, privileges, etc.) I also like Accountable Kids.

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Best idea I ever read about was: Give the child a certain amount of money at the beginning of the week. They pay for screen time at the pre-determined rate (say, $1/hour or whatever). They can spend their money on screen time or save it for something else they want. This seems like a very real-world lesson to me -- a good preparation for budgeting.

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I don't have the energy or mental stamina to micro-manage screen time. I also don't want to elevate it to the status of a reward or punishment. With that said, my kids have a dedicated screen time every day. They pick up the entire house, set the table, and get their beds ready for bedtime at about 5:00, and then they get screen time until dinner is ready to eat. We have two computers, two TVs, and four kids participating, so they figure out who gets to use the computers and who gets to use the TVs. If more than 2 want the computers, for example, then they just split their time between the computer and TV.

 

I don't take away or add minutes from bedtime or any activity as a punishment or reward. I would fail at trying to manage our lives in 5 or 10 minute increments. Screen time or any other perk is all-or-nothing for us.

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On weekdays, we allow 30 minutes of a video/DVD movie per day and 15 minutes a day of computer time. We have two 6 YO sons. They share the 30 minute movie time and take turns choosing the movie. They enjoy watching the other play the computer games so they get to play for 15 minutes and watch for 15 minutes.

 

We had a rule that they had to finish their school work before playing on the computer. Later in the day, we have quiet time and, after quiet time, they were required to clean up their quiet time places before watching their movie.

 

I have one son who struggles to get through school some days without having melt downs. He really needed an incentive and taking something away was not it. So, I made up small laminated cards that say Computer Bucks and Movie Bucks. The Computer Bucks have a "5" in each corner and it says "minutes" across the top and bottom. The Movie Bucks have a "15" in each corner and "minutes" across the top and bottom. I identified three subjects that each child might not enjoy quite as much. If they get through that subject without whining or complaining or disputing, they earn a Computer Bucks card. They can each earn up to three of these per day, which is their normal 15 minutes of time. Whatever they earn, they also get to watch the other play for the same amount of time. So, if they earn 10 minutes of computer time, they also get to watch for 10 minutes.

 

We split up our work to do about half before our break and half after. If we make it through half without any melt downs, they earn one movie card and when we finish the other half they earn the other movie card. If one does not earn the entire movie time, that child must leave the room and go play until the other finishes.

 

We have only used it for one day so far so not sure exactly how this is going to play out. They were very excited about it that day but anything new is always interesting and fun. The child who has melt downs said he found the cards very motivating (he did not use that word but that is what he described). Of course, the first time he does not earn his cards, he may not like it so much and two weeks from now it won't be as exciting any more.:001_smile:

 

We are seeing a counselor for help with angry melt downs and he thought this sounded better than taking something away. We'll see. :tongue_smilie:

 

On weekends they get to watch a long movie and still get the same amount of computer time. They have to get dressed, eat and do their chores before playing on the computer and their movie is still normally in the afternoon, sometimes with quiet time and sometimes we don't have time for quiet time.

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We keep it pretty simple: dd gets forty-five minutes of educational screen time a day. Period. After that, the tv is off. No idiotic tv shows, no fits or she can calm down in her room. We've done it this way since dd was allowed to start having screen time, and I can count on one hand the number of times she's gotten upset at not being able to watch more tv. Much easier than trying to keep track of a complicated system of cards.

 

And, in case you were wondering, forty-five minutes is not some arbitrary number. It's exactly the amount of time it takes me to make coffee, drink the coffee, wake up, and turn into a human being in the morning. ;) If I was more of a morning person, I'd probably cut that back to thirty minutes.

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I just wanted to say that the system I posted about is just what works for our family. It sounds complicated, but is easier than the alternative........for us. I wanted to keep the kids' overall screen time from becoming crazy, but when I was saying the tv can only be on from 4-5pm it was chaos. Oldest son wants to watch Nova, youngest daughter wants to watch Curious George, one son will leave the room if he doesn't like a show, another will watch EVERYTHING just because the tv is on. Do I orchestrate who choses every time, or do I allow them to work it out? Do I trust my maniplulator not to try to bend them all to his will, or do I just chose for them? After trying several different things over the last two years, I decided I did not have the mental energy to facilitate every minute of thier screen time debates, or keep up with the total time of each child.

 

Setting up a system was like creating an external brain for myself. I can tell at a glance how much tv each child has had for the week. It also has allowed me to let my older kids begin to work on self-regulation. I'll try to get DH to help me post a picture later. (Someone up thread asked for one, but I confess I cannot figure out how to get the picture from my camera to my computer account. *deep blush*)

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We limit it to certain times. I let them have extra as a treat sometimes - holidays, occasional needed everyone needs a break days, and when they're sick - but otherwise it's only during certain times of the day. I don't take it away unless it's for a specific other purpose. When that's done (finishing schoolwork, housework, etc.) then the screens can begin.

 

Same here.

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I keep it simple so I don't lose my mind. Handheld games are not played in the house. They are for practices and lessons outside the house if child is caught up with schoolwork. Educational television only during week. This really seems to help them manage their time. Weekends I'm liberal with television and the Wii. Occasionally Wii is allowed mid-week as reward for keeping up with work.

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My kids are similar in ages to yours.

 

Here is what we do (and it works VERY well):

My kids each earn "marbles". We actually started out with real marbles and each kid had a bowl for each day so they could SEE their marbles they had earned/used throughout the day. Basically for each assignment they do, they earn 1 marble, which equals 10 minutes of screen time. It is individual per kid and if they play a Wii game TOGETHER, they both have to redeem 1 marble per 10 minutes.

 

This works well for us. DD earns about 8-12 marbles a day and DS earns around 5-8. It's still quite a bit of screen time, but I'm comfortable with it because they work hard to earn it. My DS's "work" is usually 2 pages front and back of mazes/dot to dots or a cut and paste and color sheet from a preschool workbook (that's pretty time consuming for him) or something similar. I don't want him to have school burnout before reaching K! ;) I also count reading lessons as a marble for him. My DD earns one for doing her Math Mammoth page or two, one for doing her grammar lesson, one for spelling, one for WWE, etc.

 

That's just how we do it! We don't even use marbles so much anymore - now we pretty much just do a tally sheet and call it marbles. ;)

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We never connect screen time to reward and rarely to punishment. We just completely limit it, family wide. No screen time weekdays, save for occasional family time (we really love watching AFV together). 1 hour weekends. Generally ds wakes up first thing Sat morning and plays x box, dd watches an hour of something on the iPad. That's it. Dd14 has free reign, except on the computer. We limit her to 2 hours, and 9pm shut down. She's not a tv or video game kid. I loosen up every summer and generally live to regret it. I hate screens.

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We don't use tv or computer as a reward/punishment.

 

The TV isn't on before 5p M-F. At that point dh is home. He is ever so slightly addicted. I do insist on family programing and refuse to buy more than one TV.

 

On the weekends the stupid thing is on from 8a to 9p. Right now it is on Phineas and Ferb. I've seen this episode twice in 3 days. Dh is asleep in the recliner and dd is on her computer. If I turn off the TV, dh will wake up, turn it back on and go back to sleep. :001_huh:

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