AngelBee Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 .....maybe a mom in general. :( my ds7 is too much for me to handle. I am tired. Dh moved out three or so weeks ago. And though I am not feeling let down by him, I am constantly being disrespected by the kids. Laziness and avoiding their responsibilities. Ds7 says he did enough school this week cause he did a math worksheet yesterday. :( I need a redo. Any ideas how to motivate a fresh start? I don't want to be angry.. I want peace. I am working 2 jobs right now as well. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 3-9. Friday 3-6. And some saturdays for 12 hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You're busy. Your family is in transition. Maybe taking some time to reconnect and let the formal schoolwork go today, or for the rest of the week. Snuggle on the couch and read together or play games or watch something educational to give your bodies and brains some rest. You all might need heart time more than math time. Once you've all reconnected, you can start talking about how teams work together, and figure out how you're going to do school as a team. :grouphug: Cat P.S. My ds tried the "I did math yesterday" thing. I just told him "Nice try," and handed him his math book. When I am tired, I forget to giggle at the silly things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Maybe take a little break, and then have everyone sit down together and discuss a new plan. Maybe if the 7 yr. old feels like a part of the plan, he'll cooperate with you more. I wish you peace and happiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You're busy. Your family is in transition. Maybe taking some time to reconnect and let the formal schoolwork go today, or for the rest of the week. Snuggle on the couch and read together or play games or watch something educational to give your bodies and brains some rest. You all might need heart time more than math time. Once you've all reconnected, you can start talking about how teams work together, and figure out how you're going to do school as a team. :grouphug: Cat P.S. My ds tried the "I did math yesterday" thing. I just told him "Nice try," and handed him his math book. When I am tired, I forget to giggle at the silly things. :grouphug: Maybe take a little break, and then have everyone sit down together and discuss a new plan. Maybe if the 7 yr. old feels like a part of the plan, he'll cooperate with you more. I wish you peace and happiness. :iagree: I am so sorry you have to be going through this. :grouphug: and prayers sent your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Getting everyone just to stay in one place is killing me. I have dd5 and ds7 on rug in front of me. Example: dd10 was asked to read super short chapter and do written narration. I am talking read like 4 paragraphes. She says she doesn't know how to narrate.....um....been doing it since first grade. Then says what do I write the narration on? :001_huh: I was like....um...paper??? Or a cave if u prefer. :lol: funny now....but exhausting. They are ll trying to get out of work and refuse to take any responsibility for their learning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Sounds like they are adjusting to a new norm...and you just need normal...:grouphug: I definitely get it. Toss the schoolbooks for a few weeks and do other stuff...maybe a cool lapbook, or ONE kind of unit study...like the history of Chocolate. Maybe do an art project or even go on a nature hike...something NOT in the norm, but something to connect you all together. Sorry you are going through a rough time. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Please take some time off. Winter break...spring break, whatever. Go take a walk with the kids in a safe place like a park with no traffic. Take short drives in the country if you can, bringing along non-messy snacks. Say it's all school. :) :grouphug: to you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 thank you all. I feel like I am failing my kids. Ds12 and dd10 feel behind in math. Now I am second guessing everything and trying to press through when I just want to cry. :( One job ends in three weeks. But so will the pay..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Texican Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: I agree that taking a break for such a drastic life event is not only ok, one of the benefits OF homeschooling IS flexible scheduling for life's events. I'm going through the "tone of voice" right now too. It's helping. It really is. I'm a robot broken record. Whenever I hear anything in a yelling or whiny voice I repeat one of a few phrases. "I don't like that tone of voice." "I don't like that choice of words." "I can't hear you until you talk normal." "I need you to take 5 or 10 deep breaths and say it again in a normal voice." I use these sentences even if he's talking to somebody besides me. Sometimes I just say "I hear something I don't want to hear." It's literally training. I'm using The Nurtured Heart Workbook Transforming the Difficult Child (even though I wouldn't call mine difficult at this age.) It's the workbook one by Howard Glasser and Lisa Bravo. There's a few using that title, that's why I'm being so specific. Anyway it's teaching me what consistency means like a sports referee. They don't sit and explain to you the rules of the game. Everybody already knows them. If you step one foot out of bounds he blows that whistle, every time, no explanation necessary. It's a work in progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I hadn't realized you and your dh were separated. That deserves double hugs. :grouphug::grouphug: Cut yourself some slack. That must be a very hard adjustment for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: So sorry about your separation and family stress. Please take a break! I've had to do that with some family troubles that arose and I didn't want to because I felt guilty and like I was neglecting the kids' education. Turned out that break was the best thing for everyone. Hopefully it will be in your situation as well. Maybe your older kids can just do math and then y'all can do some fun stuff after that to relax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 My goodness. I'm so sorry. You are in such a hard transitional time right now. Go easy on yourself. Can you take a break from schooling? I think it's perfectly fine to take a break from school during times like this. Let everyone adjust and then get back to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I am new so don't know your story, but if things are in transition in your household, I would guess your 7 y.o. is acting out. I'd take the day or maybe even the week and spend it just being together. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I was like....um...paper??? Or a cave if u prefer. :lol: funny now....but exhausting. :lol: and :grouphug: It's normal for kids their ages to be...well, not necessarily motivated to do their work all on their own. If everyone is tired, mentally and emotionally as well as physically, it can be really hard to keep the spirits up and do what needs to be done. Keep your sense of humor. You can do this. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You're busy. Your family is in transition. Maybe taking some time to reconnect and let the formal schoolwork go today, or for the rest of the week. Snuggle on the couch and read together or play games or watch something educational to give your bodies and brains some rest. You all might need heart time more than math time. Once you've all reconnected, you can start talking about how teams work together, and figure out how you're going to do school as a team. :grouphug: Cat P.S. My ds tried the "I did math yesterday" thing. I just told him "Nice try," and handed him his math book. When I am tired, I forget to giggle at the silly things. :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in MI Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I'm sorry things are so tough for everyone right now. :grouphug: The times that I felt like homeschooling has defeated me, I took a much needed recroup break! It lasted 3 weeks!! :001_huh: BUT when I came to the scheduling and lessons my kids were better off to have mommy back to herself. Taking breaks is so much easier said than done as I'm so OCD about getting things done in a timely fashion, but somethings do have to give! I'd rather push 3 weeks into the summer than feel like we'd have to redo most of the entire school year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I agree with everyone who said that both you and your kids need a break right now more than you need a stricter school schedule. I am amazed that you are even able to function right now, with all of those kids and your husband out of the house. Please take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs. And whether your separation is temporary or permanent, be sure to prioritize the need for a good attorney. I don't know what your future plans are in terms of your relationship with your husband, but you truly need to be sure that you and your children will be adequately provided for, and IMO, you need legal documentation to back it up. I am so sorry you're going through such a rough time. Don't let worries about homeschooling overwhelm you -- in the overall scheme of things, it's more important that you and your children be emotionally healthy than it is to be sure everyone knows their math facts. You will have plenty of time to catch up later. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you all. I skipped both jobs tonight. Not good. Just can't do it though. :( Major discipline issues. Going to plan a fun school day tomorrow and surprise them. I work both jobs tomorrow night. Going to try and get to sleep early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I will do better. Have a cold too. Probably not helping. Edited February 1, 2012 by AngelBee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 AngelBee, it takes a while for everyone to learn how to do the single mama dance. It's not easy. For me I was scared to take a break because it made things seem so real. It was like saying good bye to my hopes that the marriage would get fixed. Eventually I got the flu and out routine had to change. A break would bee good about now, along with some field trips and comfort food. It's all going to be okay. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 AngelBee, it takes a while for everyone to learn how to do the single mama dance. It's not easy. For me I was scared to take a break because it made things seem so real. It was like saying good bye to my hopes that the marriage would get fixed. Eventually I got the flu and out routine had to change. A break would bee good about now, along with some field trips and comfort food. It's all going to be okay. :grouphug: :grouphug: thanks....I am in MN too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I know it doesn't help, but let me tell you that most kids seem to be like that. Of all the homeschool moms I know, we seem to agree that all the kids pull that sort of stuff. My dd has been hs'ed since the beginning and she still pretends to be shocked when I say its time for school. :001_huh: I'm so sorry. I wish I had wise words for you. But I agree with the others. Take some time off from formal school. Do easy fun stuff and read aloud. Let your kids read to you. Tell the kids to teach you! Tell them to take their best shot. Let them impress you with all their knowledge. :grouphug: You might just realize just how much they have learned. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 I know it doesn't help, but let me tell you that most kids seem to be like that. Of all the homeschool moms I know, we seem to agree that all the kids pull that sort of stuff. My dd has been hs'ed since the beginning and she still pretends to be shocked when I say its time for school. :001_huh: I'm so sorry. I wish I had wise words for you. But I agree with the others. Take some time off from formal school. Do easy fun stuff and read aloud. Let your kids read to you. Tell the kids to teach you! Tell them to take their best shot. Let them impress you with all their knowledge. :grouphug: You might just realize just how much they have learned. :001_smile: LOVE that idea!!! Thanks :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 First big hugs. Single parents deserve a medal. Single parents of 7 children deserve something super special that has not even been invented yet. What a huge responsibility. What are you doing for childcare? Could they work on some of their work while you are at work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 First big hugs. Single parents deserve a medal. Single parents of 7 children deserve something super special that has not even been invented yet. What a huge responsibility. What are you doing for childcare? Could they work on some of their work while you are at work? Right now they are with me at work of with ds19. :( poor guy. He has been helping a ton. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 You have 7 kids and you're not feeling let down? Do you think that perhaps you need to talk with a counselor? I'm pretty sure that with 7 kids and a husband that left, I'd be freakin' mad! You're also working a ton!! (And you have an almost 1 yr old, too??!!) I think you need to give yourself some love; think about the fact that your children's life is absolutely turned upside down. They are probably raging with emotions. What time you have, perhaps you can do games, work together, and just do some "love" ;) Sorry for this patch in your life :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Is your husband keeping up with his responsibilities to your kids? He is obligated to continue to support them financially. Get a court order. Now! You are not required to do this on your own or to be their sole financial support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in AL Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 You have received some great advice in this thread, so I will just offer lots of hugs. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Try to take care of yourself during this incredibly tough change in your lives. And if you want to cry, then cry. Even though I feel 'weak' when I cry, I do feel better after, as if I have expelled toxins. More hugs. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 You have received some great advice in this thread, so I will just offer lots of hugs. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Try to take care of yourself during this incredibly tough change in your lives. And if you want to cry, then cry. Even though I feel 'weak' when I cry, I do feel better after, as if I have expelled toxins. :iagree: And :grouphug: This is truly a tough time for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacycatherine Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Saying a prayer for you and your family right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 .....maybe a mom in general. :( my ds7 is too much for me to handle. I am tired. Dh moved out three or so weeks ago. And though I am not feeling let down by him, I am constantly being disrespected by the kids. Laziness and avoiding their responsibilities. Ds7 says he did enough school this week cause he did a math worksheet yesterday. :( I need a redo. Any ideas how to motivate a fresh start? I don't want to be angry.. I want peace. I am working 2 jobs right now as well. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 3-9. Friday 3-6. And some saturdays for 12 hours. :grouphug::grouphug: No advice, other than to be kind to yourself and take time to regroup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Thank you everyone. My hope is that the separation is temporary. In all fairness, I asked him to leave. I had to. But this is still extremely difficult. He is helping financially. His pay is a week late. (Part of stress in marriage is lack of consistency in pay. Not all his fault....he is a subcontractor for plumbing and construction....but stressful all the same.) I got my haircut for first time in a year. :) Dh started a bible study.??? He has never touched a bible in 11 years and I had nothing to do with it. Hmmm.... Also asked me to go on a "date" tonight. It was nice. I was very guarded, but for the firsttime in a long time we had 4 hours without an agrument. We both have so much anger and frustration to deal with. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Thank you everyone. My hope is that the separation is temporary. In all fairness, I asked him to leave. I had to. But this is still extremely difficult. He is helping financially. His pay is a week late. (Part of stress in marriage is lack of consistency in pay. Not all his fault....he is a subcontractor for plumbing and construction....but stressful all the same.) I got my haircut for first time in a year. :) Dh started a bible study.??? He has never touched a bible in 11 years and I had nothing to do with it. Hmmm.... Also asked me to go on a "date" tonight. It was nice. I was very guarded, but for the firsttime in a long time we had 4 hours without an agrument. We both have so much anger and frustration to deal with. :( It really sounds like he is making a mighty effort! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Thank you everyone. My hope is that the separation is temporary. In all fairness, I asked him to leave. I had to. But this is still extremely difficult. He is helping financially. His pay is a week late. (Part of stress in marriage is lack of consistency in pay. Not all his fault....he is a subcontractor for plumbing and construction....but stressful all the same.) I got my haircut for first time in a year. :) Dh started a bible study.??? He has never touched a bible in 11 years and I had nothing to do with it. Hmmm.... Also asked me to go on a "date" tonight. It was nice. I was very guarded, but for the firsttime in a long time we had 4 hours without an agrument. We both have so much anger and frustration to deal with. :( Oh, that sounds very encouraging :001_smile:. You have been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be. I can't imagine how tough life must be for you just now. You have my greatest respect and admiration for just keeping going. :grouphug: Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:...many of these and prayers sent your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runmiarun Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: and prayers to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H_Household Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear how life is hard for you right now. I'll pray for you today for that peace and encouragement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Another update: I had an epiphany today. We are going to do math and math lab between breakfast and lunch. Then do LA and LA lab after lunch for hour and half. Read alouds at each meal (minus dinner as we aren't home) and bedtime. After bedtime, watch video to go with studies. Even if they just "play" math and LA concepts for now, we r good. Very fun. Cuddle time. :) We will see how it goes! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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