how to encourage a relunctant reader

[NotAVampireLvr]

First off, DH & I are voracious readers. There are books all over our house. I keep them in baskets on the coffee table, geared towards age level/interest of my 3 kids. I think I have a good balance... I don't deny them the "characters" they love, but I also make sure I have a good variety of classics on hand.

 

My youngest two love being read to... DD especially - she even sits for Burgess and longer story books.

 

For DS1, age 7 and in first grade I'm careful to choose books that are a mix of levels... I have a separate basket for those below and at his reading level. I keep the challenging ones in the basket with his read-alouds and we work through those together when we have time. Usually at the end of the day he's too tired, so I work with him on the weekends (he's still in PS) Every night before bed we have a chapter book he's chosen, a great book that we've chosen together and a leveled reader we work on if he's up for it.

 

I have no problems getting him to sit for read-aloud time, but its like pulling teeth to get him to read anything on his own. We are currently working with him on handwriting and math in the afternoons when he has the energy and on the weekends. He's reading between a grade 2-3 level, so not struggling for his age or anything. He just doesn't like to do it.

 

His school days are long - he's gone from 8 until about 4:15 so I get that he's tired. Tack on homework and he's just fried. I'm nervous because on the weekends he doesn't want to read on his own either unless it means extending his bedtime or not having to take quiet time in his room. He doesn't play video games really except for this one open source game that he and DH play together. He's not allowed to play that during the week, so its not like he's getting alternatives. He has an ipod but NEVER uses it. For example, right now he's already completed his screen time, spent the afternoon outside and now is just walking around with his hands in his pockets saying he's bored. We've done our math, did a graphing project which he loved. We did a lot to occupy him today. I suggested looking through his books and he just shrugged and started trying to be "busy".

 

Do you think this will change once he's out of school? We plan to HS next year - giving him some time to deschool for a while, but we are starting mid-July with our school year. I guess I just need reassurance that this will all get better once we do away with the long school days. I know we're pushing him by adding Singapore and HWOT to his regular school day. He really enjoys SM... hates the handwriting so I might actually put that aside and just start it up when school is out.

 

I just assumed that since DH and I love reading so much it would rub off on all our kids. He just doesn't seem to enjoy it like the rest of us, but he's got a long road ahead if he can't at least tolerate it. Is it rare that my husband excels in math & science but also loves reading?

Edited January 29, 2012 by NotAVampireLvr

[boscopup]

My son's enjoyment of reading took off when I pulled him out of school. Also, I think it tends to take off more once they're reading around a 3rd-4rd grade level, though even with that, my son was too tired to read after school.

 

Have you tried non-fiction? My son doesn't enjoy fiction as much. He loves science and history books.

[snowbeltmom]

My son's enjoyment of reading took off when I pulled him out of school. ..

 

This was my experience with my kids as well.

[Lori D.]

Gently, I think it is perhaps unrealistic to expect DS to do something that probably feels like "yet more school" in his precious few free hours. And, as you say, not everyone is a book lover. Or, for some it just doesn't kick in until they are older.

 

Right now, it sounds like the poor guy's every minute is scheduled, and he has forgotten how to just be a little boy, play, use his imagination, make a mess. ;)

 

Can you stop or reduce the afterschooling, and make contact with some other local homeschoolers and start making friends -- let DS hang out one afternoon a week or on a Saturday with some other homeschool boys -- just mess around with sticks and mud and rocks; be pirates or spies or ninjas running around in capes or hats; drawing with chalk on the sidewalk; setting up a "store" or a bus service with a wagon and other things from the backyard or house??

 

Yes, I think this is likely to change once you start homeschooling. For now, you might try backing off "formal" reading and so much afterschooling and just encourage a *love of books* by:

 

- YOU do the reading, aloud, of wonderful books he'll love.

 

- Listen to wonderful books on tape.

 

- Have DS make a colorful map -- maybe with stepping stones and some landmark sites, when he finishes a book, you write the title in the stepping stone and he adds a star sticker -- but let DS set the pace! DON'T push or try to get him to reach a certain level; the chart is just for FUN.

 

- Let him take books of his own choosing to bed and stay up an extra 15 minutes for "bed book time" -- at that age, my DSs loved "Where's Waldo", "I Spy", Lego catalogs, books with exploded view illustrations of Star Wars vehicles, "Your Big Backyard" magazines, Calvin & Hobbes comic collections. Notice those are all mostly VISUAL, with not a lot of reading. The point is to encourage a love of BOOKS, not try and sneak in "homework reading". So let DS pick comic books, magazines, library books, picture books, Lego catalogs -- whatever HE would enjoy!

 

 

And just to encourage you -- I, too am a voracious reader of all kinds of books; DH is never without reading material, but is much more selective in what he reads. And while both our DSs have always LOVED being read to, they did not tend to choose reading as their free time activity -- they were always busy with other interests, although they always enjoyed looking at books at night. They didn't seem to find the type of books *they* "clicked" with until they were about 9 or 10. Now, at ages 18 and 19, they are more like DH -- somewhat selective about what they are interested in reading, but when they do find a book they like -- they'll stay up into the wee hours reading it. ;)

 

I do think you will have lots of fun sharing books of all kinds together while you homeschool! BEST of luck in your homeschool journey! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Lori D.]

PS -- and completely an aside -- your Board name cracks me up every time I see it. Love it! :lol:

[blondeviolin]

What has really worked for my oldest are two things:

 

1) Not just reading books below her level, but sitting there as she reads them TO ME. She is only five and while she CAN read older books, she still sticks to books such as Frog and Toad and the occasional Magic Tree House.

 

2) We allow her to stay up as late as she wants with her book box and a flashlight. She gets to put whatever books she wants in her box and sometimes I sneak a new on in hoping that it will encourage her to try it out after she's seen it a few times.

[mindypickens]

Hi there, I just wanted to reply to your concern really quick. It's hard when I don't know you or your child, but I just wanted to offer some encouragement. From what I understand, your son is in PS now and you'll begin HS in the summer. All of us are eager for our children to do well and love learning, and from what you say, your son really is doing great and even though he is schooling as much as a full time job, he is still willing to do homework and extra school with you. I'd say that you already have an eager learner and can just relax. I don't have a ton of experience, but from where I'm sitting, the less pressure there is around reading, the more likely your child will be to do it for fun. For example, if you had a swing in your back yard and decided to make swining a daily assignment and had to tell your son to make sure and go outside and swing for his 20 minutes every day, and were always checking and making sure he was growing in his swinging skills etc, he may not enjoy it as much as if he got to go on the swing when the mood struck and then you caught him doing it and acted really impressed with him for his accomplished swinging. Does that make sense? If he's already reading at a 2nd or 3rd grade level, then just rejoice and concentrate on being super proud of your amazing smart boy. Once you are doing school at home and his brain isn't mush from his long day, his desires may shift, as they will when he stumbles upon very high interest books. As for the practical side, one thing we did worked great for incentivising reading. For my dd6, I made a reading jar. it was just a mason jar with measurments on the side. I have a bunch of those flattened glass marbles like you use for decorating or fish tanks, and when she would read a new book, I gave her 5 marbles (for her age at the time they were small books, I'd do ten for a chapter book), and when she re-read a book I gave her 3. When she got to the 1 cup point on her Jar she earned a new book of her choice from the store. You could certainly do a different reward, but I liked the idea of reading rewards being more reading. Although she really likes books, she doesn't always have a lot of confidence in her ability to do new tasks so this plan really helped her. The beauty of it is that when she came to me with her stack of books, I was able to see and celebrate what she'd done and then she could reward herself with the marbles. I hope this helps, it sounds like your son is already on the way, he just needs to discover the fun in it, and you can help him do that. I hope this helps.

[rwjx2khsmj]

My dd15 didn't become a reader until she was about 12. We did all the right things for her to be a reader but it was a chore for her not a joy. By continuing to provide good books through read alouds and recorded books and encouraging her to read for pleasure without pressuring or shaming her, she's discovered that she loves to read.

[NotAVampireLvr]

thanks for the encouragement. You guys make very valid points. With the added math (and the handwriting which I'm pretty sure we're going to stop for now) he's probably just burnt out. Once winter is over and he stops getting sick all the time we plan to start back up his normal "active" activities of karate and swim. We normally do those year round, but he got pneumonia twice this season and strep once and its only the end of Jan. He probably truly is bored and craving some idle time, even if its bugging us telling us he's bored.

 

Our house is super laid back... it seems from my first post that we are tiger parents, but honestly we're not. We do ask before doing math with him - some days we get yeses and others no. When we were tossing around the idea of HS he was adamant he wanted to stay in PS until the end of the year. He is looking forward to HSng next year though because of the shorter days, and also being able to have more time to do what he wants to do. He loves math and science. I think I need to be putting more non-fiction in the baskets. We have a bunch, but they are tucked on a different shelf and I forget to pull them out. Some of our closest friends homeschool, so he's looking forward to seeing them more often.

[Lori D.]

He loves math and science. I think I need to be putting more non-fiction in the baskets. We have a bunch, but they are tucked on a different shelf and I forget to pull them out.

 

 

And don't forget a magazine subscription or two. Our DSs have loved getting monthly mail, and esp. enjoyed various non-fiction kids' magazines. :)

[yellowperch]

First, don't be alarmed yet! My 11 yo is a voracious reader, but as late as nine reading was not a pleasure for him. Our house sounds like yours, and so it was perplexing to us to say the least. He was in PS for fourth grade, but we pulled him out that spring. By summer he was reading as if his life depended on it.

 

The ops give excellent advice. What clicked for my guy was a perfect storm of boredom (his younger siblings wouldn't talk to him because THEY were into their books when he wanted to play, plus we have no tv or computer games), skill (he had finally arrived at true fluency) and a series he loved (Lightening Thief was book 1 in the series. His brother had read it, we both tried to get DS11 to read it but he was intimidated. Then I started it (begrudgingly) as a read aloud then dropped it. DS picked it up and was off....) I think it also helped that he thought he was getting away with something by slinking off to read during our school time.

 

Now our biggest challenge is getting them to turn out the lights at bedtime. The other day I found him reading a novel and a cartoon-style physics book AT THE SAME TIME. Both were open on his lap, and he was toggling between the two. It seems crazy to me, but he was happy.

[Kim in SouthGa]

My kids took off in reading when they found a series that they really liked, like Nancy Drew, Warrior Cats, etc. However, unfortunately, I have one kiddo, 11ds, who still hates to read. He is very athletic and always wants to be up running, bouncing a ball, playing golf, basketball, football, etc. He has finally gotten to the point that he reads what I tell him to for school without tears, but I don't know that he will ever voluntarily read a book! His dad is the same way, while me and the rest of kids always have a book in hand. :tongue_smilie:

[Momling]

Our formally book-hating daughter is turning over a new leaf in the past month or two.

The two things that have helped are:

- Allowing her to read what she wants, even if I think it's the most insipid drivel ever produced. (She's read like 20 of the rainbow magic fairy books in a row)

- Setting bedtime to 8:30, but allowing the kids to read in bed until 9 (10 on weekends).

[LolaT]

a few months ago my DD7 could read at about a beginning 3rd grade level but it still required a lot of concentration and effort. I kept trying to find books she would find interesting. Now, I stil have to remind her to read sometimes. Other times, she will choose an easy book like MTH and read it in one or two days on her own. I remind her to bring books she likes in the car in case she gets bored. but mostly, I think it has to do with ease of reading and interest right now.

[Iucounu]

Some ideas, which will probably be duplicative to some extent:

 

* Let him read whatever he wants, without ever saying anything to indicate that it's not absolutely wonderful (this means no suggestions to read something else, no matter how they're worded)

* Ask him what he would most like to read, and get it for him; perhaps try comic books

* Let him stay up reading-- and maybe even start sending him to bed a bit early

* Read to him before bed

* Read with him, alternating pages perhaps, before bed-- again, something he will enjoy

* Give him incentives for finishing books

* Once you've found a series he likes, give him more in the series

[NotAVampireLvr]

thanks for all the great suggestions :)

[AimeeM]

Not all children like to read. Period.

 

My husband and I love to read. Our home has bookcases throughout. Both children have bookcases in their bedrooms; there are bookcases in the living room, boxes of books in the basement that we haven't any room for upstairs, etc.

However, our 10 year old HATES reading. With a passion. She will read for school assignments, but never mistake it for enjoyment (don't worry - she won't let you mistake it); she looks miserable doing it. Lol.

 

You cannot FORCE a love for reading. You can only push it so much before they start to hate it MORE for your effort. Instead we choose to make it available, but not mandatory (but for school work and assignments).

[Tapasnaturalles]

Following this thread... :lurk5:

 

My 5yo is awesome when it comes to reading. She reads books like Narnia and the Spiderwick Chronicles on her own. Just finished Moby Dick and she's now reading the original Peter Pan... it's a real wonder to see a little girl like that enjoy books like she does! She learned herself reading when she just became 4yo. She sometimes reads 7-8 hours a day.

 

But then... my 6yo is the total opposite and I have no idea what to do with her.

She can read words and sentences that are far above her age, she reads subtitles from movies at this age, but she just don't want to do it. She hates reading. I have no idea what to do with her. The only thing she wants to read are comic books. I had plans to take that away from her until she starts reading books, but that just feels stupid. Then I'm creating a child who is forced to read books and she's going to hate it even more.

So I just let her read those stupid comic books. No clue what I can do to encourage her.

[Lori D.]

Seriously... You may want to get her vision checked. Not just for any impairment, but especially for tracking and divergence issues. It may be that reading is literally exhausting and gives her a headache. It would be well-worth ruling out an issue that can be treated -- and could turn reading from being a hated activity into an enjoyed one.

 

Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Iucounu]

My 5yo... Just finished Moby Dick

That's amazing and wonderful. I remember my reading trajectory when I had just learned to read-- it was something like "Little Bear", "Gulliver's Travels" (expurgated), then "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings" in short order. There's still no way I'd have been ready to appreciate "Moby Dick". Your daughter's interest and ability in reading will take her far, since it will accelerate and deepen her understanding of just about everything.

[PeterPan]

Anything he's behind on (which it doesn't sound like he is) can be caught up EASILY next year. I wouldn't wear the poor darling out so much. Like Lori, I would say to toss the after schooling or whittle it down to the unnoticeable stuff like read-alouds. What does he WANT to do after school? He says he's bored. Have you thought about getting him Timberdoodle games? Kids love games. Do you do puzzles with him? If it's from Timberdoodle, I say it's SCHOOL. Have you looked at the Snap Circuits sets? They're crazy fun. None of it will be school to him, just enjoyable, but it's all worthwhile. When you do those things with him, you're building the bond and rapport that will help your homeschooling.

 

No, no one can promise you he doesn't have problems. The skills of the parents don't guarantee the kids won't have issues. But there's no reason to ASSUME he has problems either. I'd just give the little dude a break and do some fun stuff. Feed the birds. Take nature walks. Do you have nature guides for your state? I have them and my kids LOVE talking walks to identify things. In winter there are tracks, and you can try to guess the trees based on the bark. Soon the wildflowers will start to come out. Learn the types of clouds. Go to the park and play.

[Tapasnaturalles]

That's amazing and wonderful. I remember my reading trajectory when I had just learned to read-- it was something like "Little Bear", "Gulliver's Travels" (expurgated), then "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings" in short order. There's still no way I'd have been ready to appreciate "Moby Dick". Your daughter's interest and ability in reading will take her far, since it will accelerate and deepen her understanding of just about everything.

 

It was a child-version ;) and translated into Dutch, so the deep language thing of it is gone, it was just the story...

(it's more impressive in English, I read it once and there is a big difference in it...)

I wasn't bragging, just letting see the difference... (I don't like it that she's growing up quicker than her sisters, but I guess you can't stop them :crying:)

My 5yo is a language-child. Her favorite subject is grammar, because "it's the same in every language".

My 6yo has her strong sides too, but she's more like a logic math/science girl. She HATES reading, she just isn't interested in it.

It's nice to have different childs. I wonder what DD3 will be about...

 

But that doesn't make it easier to get her to read... I brought some nature-magazines from the library. Just to try it out.

Edited January 31, 2012 by Tapasnaturalles

[Iucounu]

I wasn't bragging, just letting see the difference... (I don't like it that she's growing up quicker than her sisters, but I guess you can't stop them :crying:)

I didn't take it as bragging, and my comments about her still stand. I know what you mean about growing up fast, but there's also an upside-- she's really just as young, but her intellectual life can be much more interesting and exciting than normal.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

If there are sight words or other whole word practices being taught at school, some nonsense words and syllables may help encourage a love of reading.

 

My webpage "Why Johnny Doesn't Like to Read" explains why, my how to tutor page has a program to fix it! (Or, my free online phonics lessons supplemented with the syllable division exercises from my how to tutor page.)