How far are you willing to drive for your child's weekly extracurricular?

[swellmomma]

I have been debating this since we moved. When we lived in the city the kids had access to MANY different activities. DD12 was a cheerleader and LOVED it. It was by far the first time she really felt she was good at something (she feels that way about girl guides now, but that is non-athletic). She was a top and loved the feeling of being thrown in the air. I did not register her in it this year because it is 2 hours away. However there is no cheer teams any closer and even gymnastics out here is really lame so she couldn't really maintain her tumbling either, the local high school has a pom squad because regulations prohibit stunting. It was the stunting that DD loved so much. I have been wrestling with this all year and had started rethinking cheer for next year and the drive needed to get to practice.

 

THEN I found out about an awesome alternative to Venturer scout next year for DS13. He is currently in boy scouts but as he turns 14 in the fall should be moving up to venturer scouts. However the closest troop is an hour away. He has a chance to stay in hi boy scout troop for 2 more years but he is already the oldest (there is only 2 of them) and the younger kid is 11, so the 2 of them are mostly doing the cub scouts program with a couple added badge requirements, they go to the same events, same camps etc. They also are not able to do the shooting range, or archery etc because the rest of the boys are so young(most of the cub scouts are 8-9), so that means my DS who will be 14 next year would have to do programing for 9-10 yr olds for the most part. The alternative I found is a MedVents program in the city. It is a venturer scouts troop with boy scouts of Canada BUT they are affiliated with EMS and the uniform is a paramedic uniform. Meetings are spent doing first aird, cpr, rescue training etc. They help do the first aid/first response at various events for boy scouts and for the city as requested. All in all a huge opportunity. (If we lived in Ontario they have firevents and policevents too which he would have loved). There is 2 medvents troops in Alberta, both in the city 2 hours from me.

 

I am seriously considering registering him in this program next year. I think he would do really well with it, and for a kid like DS he could use all the success he can get. I have also been informed that membership in this group for the 3 years he is eligible will assist him in getting into the Emergency training school in the next town here (the town next to me has a fire/EMT/Paramedic/search&rescue training school, it was an administrator at that school that told me it would assist him in registration criteria especially as he would be applying to it(or the actual college it is affiliated with) as a homeschool student without a provincial diploma(something only a handful of colleges here in Alberta will accept) So I see this program as an added thing towards his future success.

 

If I am going to be driving the 2 hours each way for his program I feel I should be willing to do the same for dd12 and her cheerleading.

 

SO I am wondering those of you that do not have a good set of extracurricular options in your immediate area how far are you willing to travel to give your kids those opportunities? Would it make a difference to you if the program aided in college admission as opposed to *just* a sport? Or are you of the belief that kids take what is offered in their community or nothing at all?

[Samiam]

We drove DS13 one hour each way, and sat there for 2 1/2 hours, 4 days a week for football. It's the only team around for him. It's a team for middle school/high school boys who want to play football that are homeschooled or go to private schools that do not offer football.

 

The 5th day of the week, was game day, so either home games, so that same drive, or away games, would were 2-3 hours away each way.

 

Course that is only football season, so August through early November. I certainly would not have done that if it was that often, on a year round basis. Gas prices were suffocating, to say the least. Not to mention the schedule was exhausting.

[nono]

About 45 min in one direction. But we live in a spot that isn't exactly the crossroads of civilization.

[cathmom]

We drove oldest ds 1 hour each direction 3x a week for football. That's about my limit.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I regularly drove DD 30 min away for gymnastics 2x/week before we switched gyms. The drive is now closer to 20 min. I think I might be willing to go 45min one way, but for a "for fun" sport, that's probably about my max.

 

If DD's gymnastics progresses along the path projected and it became necessary to drive 2hr to get her to training, I might consider it. But HER commitment level would have to be high.....and we would have to be at a high level within the sport itself for that to happen.

[Mommy22alyns]

About 45 minutes is my limit too. In practice, we don't drive any farther than 25 minutes for soccer in the spring. The girls' gym is about 5 minutes away and their choir and AHG are 10 minutes away. We're in a small town too. I've looked into another gym for Rebecca, but that would be driving at least an hour one way several times a week and not having much to do with Sylvia while Rebecca would be practicing. Add more expense for the lessons to gas money... I don't think it's going to work out.

[NanceXToo]

For something that was for fun? 30 min would be my limit and even then I'd prefer not to have to go that far regularly (10-20 would be better). We drive further for field trips all the time but if I had to go somewhere every week, I'd want it as close to home as possible.

 

If it was something that I thought was going to help advance them in their goals for their future as opposed to a just for fun thing I would be willing to go further and extend that to an hour maybe.

 

But two hours? Like four hour round trips every week? And then do that twice for two kids? There's just no way. I'd feel wistful for the lost opportunity and maybe even see if there was any way I could find or recruit something like it closer to home, but I wouldn't do that kind of driving every week. Too exhausting, too costly in gas, too hard having to take younger son on that kind of ride, too much wear and tear on vehicle, too far in wintry weather etc etc.

[Dmmetler]

All of ours are very close to home right now-and while we've done some farther away, usually I find that we don't continue them. For example, DD did a great world dance class last Spring, but it was a 30+ minute drive,and when the instructor changed the time and it was a choice between World dance and changing to a different ballet/tap night with different girls, or staying with her friends in Ballet/tap, she happily dropped world dance without a backwards glance, substituting hip-hop at her "can walk to it in 15 minutes" studio instead. Cheer and gymnastics are both about a 10-15 minute drive.

 

We do drive to regional (and state if the team makes it) cheer competitions 2x/yr-regionals is about a 90 minute drive, and state is about a 4 hour drive.

Edited January 29, 2012 by dmmetler

[Negin]

20 minutes maximum each way and it better be worth it. :)

[radiobrain]

Wow, you're all making me feel better about my decision to drive 1 night a week, 24 min away for fencing.

 

THANKS! I've got it easy! :D

[angela in ohio]

We drive far for everything. We moved out of the city, knowing we would have to drive more. I drive 25-40 minutes for almost everything except Scouts and ds' sports, which are in the nearest small town. I can combine trips into the city, though, and I try to stack a few lessons (piano, flute, art, etc.) up next to teach other. I'm always willing to drive for quality teachers or programs, like driving to the university for music lessons with professors.

[swellmomma]

Thanks for all the perspective so far everyone.

 

I should have added in my initial post we are in a rural location so just to get to "normal" extracurrics is 20 minute drive usually each way. With 4 kids in activities I often make that drive 5-6 days a week. Plus time spent at activities.

 

If I put him in MedVents it would take some configuring because dd has girl guides the same night and has already started fundraising for a major trip for july 2013 so she will not be dropping that. What I am hoping will happen is to find someone to watch her and transport her to and from guides each wednesday and watch her after guides until I got back.

 

Or arrange for my sister/bil to meet us at the half way point and take him to teh city to the meeting so that I can still take dd to guides, and then after both meetings are over we meet back at the halfway point. That would mean driving 1 hour to the halfway point, then back home, then 20 minutes the opposite direction to dd's guides, then abcktrack back to the halfway point. They may agree to it given that it is only offered in tha city and heck of an opportunity. So still 4 hours of commute each week but in a more manageable amount. The drive to the halfway point is to the same town dd used to take violin lessons so we used to drive there weekly already.

[swellmomma]

We drive far for everything. We moved out of the city, knowing we would have to drive more. I drive 25-40 minutes for almost everything except Scouts and ds' sports, which are in the nearest small town. I can combine trips into the city, though, and I try to stack a few lessons (piano, flute, art, etc.) up next to teach other. I'm always willing to drive for quality teachers or programs, like driving to the university for music lessons with professors.

 

 

This is what I am thinking. I already head to the city a couple times a month, so I would just change my schedule of that and do my shopping etc while he was at a meeting, or visit with my family, or put the other kids in a city based program.

 

I am leaning mroe towards MedVents for ds but not cheer for dd, but feel Like I should do both. But she is already in more things than him on a yearly basis.

[PhotoGal]

We travel about 30 minutes each way for Chinese school three times a week, so it adds up to about 3 hours. It is a lot, but it is worth it to us. Two hours in one stretch is a really long drive, though.

 

Is it an easy, stressfree 2 hour drive or would you have parts where you are fighting traffic, etc? That would make a difference to me.

 

Have you asked your kids what they think? It might sway you based on how enthusiastic they are.

 

It is going to be tough to do 4 hours of driving more than once a week. That is a big chunk of the day. Would your kids do schoolwork in the car or do they get carsick?

 

Are there any other kids your son's age who might be interested in the medvents program? Maybe you could carpool or at least offer to drive another child in exchange for a contribution for gas.

[MamaT]

About 45 min in one direction. But we live in a spot that isn't exactly the crossroads of civilization.

 

That's as far as I've driven, but it was 5 days a week. Thankfully, my dd changed gyms and my drive is now only about 25 minutes.

 

If there was not a gym suitable nearby, I would be willing to drive further for gymnastics at this level. There are some parents who drive 2 hours one way, and our coaches have even had a gymnast board with them. That, I couldn't do.

[swellmomma]

We travel about 30 minutes each way for Chinese school three times a week, so it adds up to about 3 hours. It is a lot, but it is worth it to us. Two hours in one stretch is a really long drive, though.

 

Is it an easy, stressfree 2 hour drive or would you have parts where you are fighting traffic, etc? That would make a difference to me.

 

Have you asked your kids what they think? It might sway you based on how enthusiastic they are.

 

It is going to be tough to do 4 hours of driving more than once a week. That is a big chunk of the day. Would your kids do schoolwork in the car or do they get carsick?

 

Are there any other kids your son's age who might be interested in the medvents program? Maybe you could carpool or at least offer to drive another child in exchange for a contribution for gas.

 

 

The first 1.5 hours to the city is highway driving with almost no traffic, once in the city it manages to work. They don't get car sick. We already make teh same drive fairly often. We just did it yesterday to go to Harry Potter Science day. We were there on Tuesday for a Dr's appt. We will be back next weekend to pick up the bigs after their weekend with their dad(he is picking them up here on friday). So the drive to and from the city is a common occurance to us. We drive half way there just to get to a dollar store.

 

There is no one to carpool with, most people out here put their kids in 4H and call it good, that's why there is very few extracurrics around here at all, the boy scouts troop only have 16 boys from beavers through scouts, so not enough to start our own medvent group. In fact no one in our area even has venturer training, so we had to drive an hour just for a normal venturer program as it is.

 

The meetings are from 630-8pm wednesday nights so other than listening to audio books like we usually do in the car they would not be expected to do school work on teh drive, a) in the winter it is already too dark to read etc in the car and b) it is an afterschool activity.

 

Until next year we will not know how practical it will be or if it will even work etc. For now just seeing if there is anyone else who does already or would consider driving such a distance.

 

My biggest concern right now is the MedVents, if dd couldn't do cheer again she would be okay though she really misses it so that would be only if I thought I would have the money for gas for that drive twice a week etc.

 

Ds really wants to be part of the MedVents program. He is excited at the thought of doing first aid etc rather than regular crafts etc. We had a field trip last week to teh ambulance station here with teh scouts and he was all over that, he asked a billion questions about it all, wanted to know how he could become an EMT etc. The next town over has a college and emergency training school. They are one of the few places in the province that accepts homeschoolers based on portfolio and review rather than high school diploma. They said if ds had the next 4 yrs of this group under his belt to add to his admissions portfolio it would help sway things towards and acceptance. Whether he goes for the emergency training or for his first plan which is the BSc transfer program in paleobiology.

Edited January 30, 2012 by swellmomma

[TracyR]

When gas was lower and finances were alright for us 45 minutes was our threshold.

But even that is a bit much for us since we live in the snow belt.

Now we won't travel more than 25 minutes away.

[Julie Smith]

I don't like to drive.

 

For almost a year my youngest would get car sick after 20 minutes in the car. As in have to sit down, lie down, snuggle for an hour or two after that long in the car.

 

I think twice if it's more than 15 minutes via car. But then again I knew I would be this way, so we live in an area that will hopefully be very well placed even when my boys get older and need/want more activities.

 

Right now for the most part the 15 minute drive we do once a week is the farthest we go. That is with the exception of Gramma's house once a month.

[bettyandbob]

If i had an only child, I might consider 2 hours.

 

I have 3 dc. Until this year the max drive time has been 20 min (30 w/ traffic).

 

Youngest has down syndrome, I have to look further for activities. He just started adaptive karting at a rink 45-60 minutes away. Hopefully, he learns to skate and we can go to a local rink together in the future.

 

No way would I consider 2 hours each way. When my dc were younger and everyone had to go everywhere in the car with me, I was keenly aware how long they were molded to thir car seats. No, I would not make my younger dc sit for 4 hours each week.

 

If the need were medical there is no limit on my driving. I had a dev ped 4 hours away, a pt 2.5 hours. I don't need to see these professionals anymore, but having confidence in med care is very valuable to me.

[YaelAldrich]

When we lived in IN, we drove one hour to Indy for my son's kendo (Japanese fencing) lesson once a week. It was free and it was in a Y so I could work out with childcare for the youngers and the middles got swim lessons. It was a pain, but I did errands while I got out. I could have taken to different kendo lessons but they were in the evenings and my DH could not do the bedtime nursing so the late morning through late afternoon on Mondays were good!.

 

Here we drive him 25 minutes to his kendo lessons twice a week in the late evenings... I drive once a month for 45 minutes to hang out with some HSing friends when they have their monthly get- together.

[amy g.]

I drive an hour each way several times a week for music lessons.

 

In the summer, I drive 45 minutes 5 days a week for swim team.

[kitchen table academy]

Right now, I won't drive far. Maybe when the kidlets are older and can handle being in the car for more than 20 minutes without turning into car gremlins, I will consider it.

 

I have driven further for activities and medical needs for my oldest, but that was when he was younger and we lived in an area that didn't have much for kids like him.

 

Now that I have 2 (soon to be 3) young children, I can't even fathom long trips. We live about 20 min outside a major city, but our town is one of the bigger towns in the suburban area where we live, so the store, doctors, church and all of our activities are fairly close by. Their piano lessons are a 10-15 minute drive and if we can ever manage to save up for a piano, I will be eliminating that drive as well since our current piano instructor also does in-home lessons for a slightly higher fee. Then our only drives will be Boo's guitar lessons (a 15-25 minute drive depending on traffic) and church activities 1-2 times a week.

 

Edited January 30, 2012 by kitchen table academy

[LibraryLover]

I am thinking about commuting 1.5 hours each way with one of my children. This is one who has a special talent that our local resource is not going to be able to handle very soon. The negatives of the program are already weighing heavily on dc, and I keep trying to put it to the back of my mind. I don't want to do this. I might have 6-18 months (18 months is probably pushing it, but I don't know that waiting would be overly harmful, although a couple of folks have told me otherwise). I can't imagine my family life if we're in the car 3 hours most days, plus the time devoted to the activity.

 

I really need this thread. I really need to hear from people who are doing this and surviving. So far, the only benefit I can see is that we would listen to a lot of books and Teaching Company lectures. ;)

Edited January 30, 2012 by LibraryLover

[ereks mom]

Fall semester, I drove EK 1 hour, 15 minutes each Monday afternoon for a 2-hour Twelfth Night rehearsal. I was SO glad when that was over! I think I *might* be willing to do it again IF we didn't have other commitments on other afternoons/evenings. But she also had a commitment on Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday evenings, and it just got to be too much.

Edited February 2, 2012 by ereks mom

[ma23peas]

Invest in a Prius...

 

I put 15,000 miles in three months on ours driving an hour each way five days a week to rowing, Irish dance..not to mention leaving our home at 4am 3 days a week in the summer....

 

That being said, some wonderful discussions have happened during those drives!

[Guest submarines]

1 hour one way, weekly.

[Annie G]

Invest in a Prius...

 

That being said, some wonderful discussions have happened during those drives!

 

Yes, the conversations on the road are really amazing. Teens will often talk much more openly when you're watching the road,and not them.

We drive an hour each way, three times a week, for theater. Been doing it since 2007, and during show weeks, we make that drive 10 days in a row.

 

I'm so glad to read about other parents who are willing to make the drive- it makes us look less crazy.

[DawnM]

The problem with Venture Crew is that the activities may not be limited to just that one meeting per week.

 

Our Ventures do things all the time! They camp, do volunteer work, have fund raisers, etc.....I would count on at least driving that distance twice a week.

 

For us, that would be too far, but you will have to decide for yourself.

 

Wish you lived closer to me, our Venture Crew is homeschool only (although they are allowed to be in college if they are that age.)

[Kim in Appalachia]

I drive close to an hour each way for swimming, and just over an hour for violin and orchestra. We live in our van.

 

We live in a rural area, even Walmart is 20 mins away. And Walmart is the only store in the area (and a Save a Lot). For any other store, including a supermarket, I have to go at least 40 minutes. So while for some driving an hour seems extreme, for our family it's part of everyday life. Many people who live here have a spouse who drives an hour to work, because there are not many jobs here either.

[Jenny in Florida]

I've gone as far as an hour each way for some things. I would (and probably will) do it again. And some of those were things that met more than once a week.

 

If it's important to the kid and the parent has the resources, I wouldn't hesitate.

 

Fall semester, I drove EK 1 hour, 15 minutes each Monday afternoon for a 2-hour Twelfth Night rehearsal. I was SO glad when that was over! I think I *might* be willing to do it again IF we didn't have other commitments on other afternoons/evenings. But she also had a commitment on Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday evenings, and it just go to be too much.

 

Amatuer. (I don't do smileys, but please understand I'm teasing in a friendly way there.)

 

Several of the shows my kids have done required driving an hour each way for rehearsals multiple nights a week. For example, we live in Orlando, and my daughter did a show this past fall in Cocoa Beach (58 miles, 65 minutes).

 

Now, I usually take the dog with me and find places to walk with her. But before she came into my life, I spent those hours waiting for kids exploring local shops and doing errands (or napping in the car).

 

When my son did the workshop to develop the opera, we were living in SW Orlando near the theme parks. Rehearsals for that were happening in New Smyrna, which was over 70 miles from our house. We did get to stay on property for a few nights, but he also had to keep up with some activities back home and so made the drive a few times a week.

 

 

Invest in a Prius...

 

That being said, some wonderful discussions have happened during those drives!

 

I agree about this. My son has recently started getting nostaligic about the 10 times a year we were making those 1600-mile round trips to and from Virginia when my daughter was in college. He enjoyed the opportunity to listen to audiobooks together that only we like and to talk.

Edited January 30, 2012 by Jenny in Florida

[momdm]

I drive maximum 20 min for kids activities. On an average the drive is 15 min .

[catz]

30 minutes is my outer limit max. I'm driving my son about 30 minutes in traffic (< 20 minutes after rush hour on the way home) to a community theater production 3X a week right now and I'm so done with it! This is the last week thankfully! We are smack dab in the middle of a city/large metro area though. My kids take music lessons at an amazing conservatory style program 5 miles away and we are surrounded by similar opportunities. My son just got another theater role in a more competitive audition 12 easy minutes from home. Woo hoo! :D Did I mention it's 5-6 days a week? Yikes - Only a 7 week commitment though. This is one of the reasons we live in the city. I know people driving up to 2 hours to get to our music school weekly, and people driving an hour or more to do the same theater stuff my son is done.

 

I also actively try to avoid rush hour here. Time of day you're heading somewhere can make a huge difference.

[Jenny in Florida]

This is one of the reasons we live in the city. I know people driving up to 2 hours to get to our music school weekly, and people driving an hour or more to do the same theater stuff my son is done.

 

Yeah, we moved downtown in order to be close to stuff, too.

 

That was right before my daughter got a role she really, really wanted at a theatre 45 minutes from the house, and also before she got the role at the one over an hour away.

 

Both of mine are now rehearsing shows (three shows between the two kids) at a theatre 10 minutes away from the house we lived in before we moved here. It's a good 35-minute drive from where we are now.

 

The best laid plans . . .

[Wheres Toto]

Until this year I was driving my dd 45 minutes to an hour to dance. Depending on her schedule, I would go home (1/2 hour because of traffic differences) and returning to get her when she was done. I did this 4 or 5 days a week so she could continue dancing with the same group of girls she started with when she was 4. I moved farther away when I married dh and didn't want to force her to change dance studios.

 

Until she started high school I also had to drive her to school in her dad's town. 45 minutes to get there and an hour to an hour and a half to get back home since it was in heavy rush hour traffic. With two little babies in the car, which also made it hard to find somewhere to hang out and wait for rush hour to end.

 

For my younger two we don't travel more than 15 to 20 minutes for anything that is regularly scheduled. We are lucky enough that homeschool gymnastics and homeschool bowling are less than 5 miles away (I know some people there travel for 45 minutes to an hour). I live in an area where I could find anything from horseback riding to ice skating to alpaca farms to zoos to sports all within 10 miles. I do go farther for one time field trips - Manhattan is only 30 minutes away if traffic isn't bad (45 minutes on the train).