Untidy child

[desertmum]

I've had ds tidy up his room since he was a toddler (I thought this would create a good habit if I started early HA!). Every time I meet the same resistance and twaddling. He can see daddy drop clothes on the floor (no, I don't think I'm going to change a 50yo), but he doesn't see daddy do the dishes -so he only sees the things daddy doesn't do IYKWIM.

 

I've tried reward charts, bribery, threats, etc. NOTHING works. DS will take half an hour or longer to pick up a few things, while whinging the whole time. I can sense he wants me to get impatient and pick up his stuff myself (I don't -I have to tidy up the rest of the house!).

 

What to do? Help? :001_unsure:

[Celia]

My kids earn tickets that they redeem for the stuff they want to do by doing their chores, one of which is cleaning up his room. My not-so-tidy ds loves his video games, and it's what he usually uses to spend his chore ticket on, so that's a huge motivator for him. The kids get their allowance on Sundays, and on that day I expect their rooms to be clean enough to vacuum, the rest of the week they get a bit of leeway. So, no allowance till room is looking good, and all spending of chore tickets is on pause until it's done as well.

 

Once my kids are old enough though (doing their own laundry and able to deep clean properly), I plan on letting them have more say on the state of their room. Not to let it get to the point of gross, but there will come a time when I don't want to have to patrol quite so much!

[Melissa in Australia]

I made my youngest ds tidy his room since a toddler. When he was around 5 he cleared all his toys out of his room, and hasn't allowed any back in. He told me he would rather never play with them than have to tidy up all the time.:confused:

[SweetMissMagnolia]

need to find a way to instill some of that into my ds too....the ticket idea sounds interesting--we've tried bribery-allowance-charts-etc and nothing's worked--I get the whining too.... :glare:

[desertmum]

Sorry, I didn't mean to disappear like that. Everyone in my house has gone down with a cold (yes, including me) and it has taken me a few days to get back on my feet and get my thoughts organised.

 

I can't believe no one has found a solutions for chidren who will not pick up after themselves. Really hive, no one? :bigear:

[Sneezyone]

My daughter is a mess-- a walking, talking mess. Food spills/drips from her overflowing mouth as she eats and cracker crumbs mark her trail down the hall. Her room is a chronic disaster. No amount of complaining, reminding, bribery or reward has ever made a dent in her willingness to be neat and tidy. I haven't given up but I have started to recognize her/my limits.

 

DD cannot handle having too many choices or too much stuff. As much as the relatives like to bring us trinkets, clothes and what-nots, she cannot handle the chaos it creates in her mind/space. I literally carried out six trash bags of stuff from her room and left her with sheets, blankets, pillows and a few clothes in each category. Guess what...she missed none of it. In fact , she was actually relieved to be responsible for less pick-up. There was room for everything too so little/no possibility of overflowing drawers/laundry buckets (clean things were routinely deposited there).

 

At one point, I relented and let DD bring some things back into her room but I'm more and more convinced that was/is a mistake and will be correcting that soon. She does much better with spartan environs. It's not a cruel or mean thing and I'm not angry or doing it out of spite. It's just what this child needs to function at her best.

[AngelBee]

Taking notes