WWS W12D4...dd13 and I would love some feedback on this!

[AvasMom]

I've printed this out and gone over a couple of things I found with dd. We'd like to see what other moms think 1)about how she did for her age/grade and 2)if you see the same punctuation and usage things I did. This is our first time using this particular board. Can't believe I didn't think of this before! lol! We're trying to cram before the Writing Workshop. LOL! TIA! :bigear:

 

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Do you know what a volcano is? A volcano looks like a normal mountain, but a mountain usually has a snow covered tip. Not a volcano. A volcano is a light brown or a grayish color. Now imagine you took a giant knife and cut the volcano in half, some volcanoes will look like a tree and others will look like a beaker.

The ones that look like trees are called stratovolcano. The other kind is called a cinder cone. The cinder cone is the simplest kind of volcano. An ash cloud is formed when a volcano is about to explode. An ash cloud is as black as a moonless night or it is as white as snow fresh off the asphalt. Sometimes ash clouds will be huge and smell horrible. On May 18th, 1980, Mount St. Helens erupted and blew top of the mountain off. It blew the mountain off probable because it was clogged. When a mountain gets clogged and it explodes it can be very harmful to the people and the atmosphere.

Magma starts deep under the earth`s crust and it boils till it can`t stay contained in the magma chamber. It flows up the conduit, some will flow to the dike and out the side vent, and it will flow up the throat, out the crater, out the main vent and down the side of the volcano. If you get caught in a volcanic eruption you will most likely die because the lava is so hot that it will burn you to death. But it isn`t very common in Hawaii though because the lava doesn`t go all the way down to the ground and destroy civilization. But it will more than likely kill someone walking on the mountain side during an eruption.