What gives?!?! I need some unschoolers to help me out here

[iona]

On the flip side, I met one woman and her three kids and we all it hit off really well. She just made a post about being a classical homeschooler! YAY! So maybe before I leave the group completely I will try and see if there are anymore open-minded ones hidden among the group.

 

Thanks again everyone. I am feeling much better about everything. You guys have restored my hope in humanity :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm glad you met someone you clicked with. Maybe you and this mom can get together.

[Debbie in OR]

Well, check me if I am wrong here but isn't unschooling about the "delight-driven" preferences of the child? Your dd was wanting to read this book, yes? You didn't make her stop playing and force her to read this book, no? Seems like a completely perfect unschooled moment to me... :) Did I miss something????

[wapiti]

Another possibility: they're filled with angst, though they'd never admit it, because their children aren't reading or reading well.

 

:iagree:

 

Well, check me if I am wrong here but isn't unschooling about the "delight-driven" preferences of the child? Your dd was wanting to read this book, yes? You didn't make her stop playing and force her to read this book, no? Seems like a completely perfect unschooled moment to me... :) Did I miss something????

:iagree:

[joannqn]

I got a civil reception from a group of unschoolers (didn't know they were unschoolers when I met them) after I fed my kids McDonalds. I was invited last minute to a park date by a mom I met at a library event just before. It was lunch time. We were hungry. There are few choices for ready-to-eat food in that area, and I had just moved there a few weeks prior so I couldn't have found the other options anyway. I got the impression that one should never feed their kids poison regardless of the situation you are in.

 

They all had fully organic lunches made of things they bought at Trader Joes.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I got a civil reception from a group of unschoolers (didn't know they were unschoolers when I met them) after I fed my kids McDonalds. I was invited last minute to a park date by a mom I met at a library event just before. It was lunch time. We were hungry. There are few choices for ready-to-eat food in that area, and I had just moved there a few weeks prior so I couldn't have found the other options anyway. I got the impression that one should never feed their kids poison regardless of the situation you are in.

 

They all had fully organic lunches made of things they bought at Trader Joes.

 

Are you sure you meant to say that it was civil?

[Iucounu]

Are you sure you meant to say that it was civil?

Maybe it was in civil court-- a motion to terminate parental rights or some such?

[6packofun]

I agree. I think those in the beginning years of homeschooling (whether their kids are young or they are just starting hs with older kids) cling to their philosophy and/or methodology a LOT more because it validates them and is a security blanket for their fears and doubts. Sometimes, in people without enough tact or self-control, the building up of their confidence in how they've chosen to homeschool comes out as attacks against those who do differently. Not nice, but I think it lessens with time and experience. But in the meantime? Yeah, I'd not put up with it until they "get it". lol

[KristenR]

 

They all had fully organic lunches made of things they bought at Trader Joes.

 

:lol: I didn't even get into the whole lunch scenario. I am guilty of throwing in those crustable peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a couple bottles of gatorade. Boy- did that illicit some looks. :glare:

 

I'm trying to get better about what I feed my kids- and what I bathe them in- and what medication or vitamins they receive--- geesh the list just goes on and on. What can I say? Some days I just reach for the Crustables and call it a night.

 

But I did feel a pang of unease as they all eyed my spread in apparent disgust as they opened up their metal reusable containers and drink bottles. Here I was with sandwich bags filled with Cheezits. :D

 

Now I can look back on it all and laugh-- although sadly at the time I felt oddly guilty. Now I know I am doing the best can, taking the steps I can WHEN I can. It may be baby steps by some people's standards....but heck- just 6 years ago I was in my 20's drinking and dancing in clubs without a care or responsibility in the world. Now, I'm raising and educating three little humans.

I'm proud of how far I have come already and look forward to what the next 6 years will bring. :tongue_smilie:

[WeeBeaks]

I get looks when I break out the Diet Coke - for me not the kids. LOL I have my Diet Coke a day vice, but hey I make it through the afternoon that way.

 

I hear ya on the fast food though. We go every couple weeks through the drive thru, but I reserve it for park day, which happens to be our day we are on the road all day and mama is just plain tired. It looks therefore like we eat more fast food than we do. Oh well.

 

After 4 or 5 years of groups like that though I did try to start my own. It is going strong after a little over a year, growing little by little with families who usually also tried some of those other groups. Kids and mama are making some good friends. Our group is pretty diverse, religiously, political, homeschooling philosophy. But it doesn't seem to matter, and for that I'm so extremely thankful.

[angela in ohio]

Well, check me if I am wrong here but isn't unschooling about the "delight-driven" preferences of the child? Your dd was wanting to read this book, yes? You didn't make her stop playing and force her to read this book, no? Seems like a completely perfect unschooled moment to me... :) Did I miss something????

 

Only if the child wants to do it the Official Approved Unschooling way. :lol:

 

Been there, done that. As Joanne said, it's usually moms of youngers and it dissipates as their dc get older. (As a matter of fact, all of the die-hard, most-mean-about-it unschoolers I knew from my early HS days have put their kiddos into school by junior high.)

 

I chose to just smile knowingly and say "you do it your way and I'll do it mine, huh?" :D After one or two times, they quit bugging me and moved on to another victim. Most of the things their dc did for unschooling were things my dc did anyway as part of our family life, so I just focused the talk on those shared experiences.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I agree. I think those in the beginning years of homeschooling (whether their kids are young or they are just starting hs with older kids) cling to their philosophy and/or methodology a LOT more because it validates them and is a security blanket for their fears and doubts. Sometimes, in people without enough tact or self-control, the building up of their confidence in how they've chosen to homeschool comes out as attacks against those who do differently. Not nice, but I think it lessens with time and experience. But in the meantime? Yeah, I'd not put up with it until they "get it". lol

 

Yes. There seems to be a certain sub-type amongst women who will rabidly fixate on some topic/philosophy and then proceed to demean and devalue anyone who chooses differently. I'd bet solid money that just a few short years ago, several of these women were on their high horses about something else: home birth, breastfeeding, circumcision, cloth diapering, elimination communication, attachment parenting, sleep training, or whatever. When their kids grow out of the baby stages, they have to find a new cause. And, just to be clear, I'm not putting any of those things down (far from it--homebirth wannabe who EBF and APed here). It's just that the fervent, zealous new converts who think their way is the 'only way' and don't allow for varying life circumstances are unbearable. It's a good chunk of the reason that I don't visit MDC much anymore and part of the reason I'm soured on LLL. I just don't have the time or patience or the pack mentality for it.

 

OP, I personally would try to invest more into the lady you hit it off with and slowly fade away from the Mean Girl group :)

[KristenR]

Yes. There seems to be a certain sub-type amongst women who will rabidly fixate on some topic/philosophy and then proceed to demean and devalue anyone who chooses differently. I'd bet solid money that just a few short years ago, several of these women were on their high horses about something else: home birth, breastfeeding, circumcision, cloth diapering, elimination communication, attachment parenting, sleep training, or whatever. When their kids grow out of the baby stages, they have to find a new cause. And, just to be clear, I'm not putting any of those things down (far from it--homebirth wannabe who EBF and APed here)). It's just that the fervent, zealous new converts who think their way is the 'only way' and don't allow for varying life circumstances are unbearable. It's a good chunk of the reason that I don't visit MDC much anymore and part of the reason I'm soured on LLL. I just don't have the time or patience or the pack mentality for it.

 

:iagree:

[Soror]

Yes. There seems to be a certain sub-type amongst women who will rabidly fixate on some topic/philosophy and then proceed to demean and devalue anyone who chooses differently. I'd bet solid money that just a few short years ago, several of these women were on their high horses about something else: home birth, breastfeeding, circumcision, cloth diapering, elimination communication, attachment parenting, sleep training, or whatever. When their kids grow out of the baby stages, they have to find a new cause. And, just to be clear, I'm not putting any of those things down (far from it--homebirth wannabe who EBF and APed here). It's just that the fervent, zealous new converts who think their way is the 'only way' and don't allow for varying life circumstances are unbearable. It's a good chunk of the reason that I don't visit MDC much anymore and part of the reason I'm soured on LLL. I just don't have the time or patience or the pack mentality for it.

 

OP, I personally would try to invest more into the lady you hit it off with and slowly fade away from the Mean Girl group :)

Former sourpuss as well. I still do all these things but I'm really over putting so much time and energy into what other people do. I have a friend now that I somewhat inadvertently converted to a more natural life and now I am getting it from the other side. Oh, the irony. None of us are perfect. We all do the best we can and there are many ways to have a good relationship and educate your child well. I'd try to just connect with a few people you have more in common with and your kids like their family. I doubt you could convert them over and personally I wouldn't waste my time.

[Jenny in GA]

Only if the child wants to do it the Official Approved Unschooling way. :lol:

 

 

 

And only if it involves video games and TV. If it involves books, you might hear about the misplaced "Book Worship" our society has.

 

A well-known unschooler talks about how her kids (teens at the time) rarely read and don't really like to read. [interestingly, though, she said they were all "very advanced readers."

 

She claimed the reason they didn't read was because their lives were happy and pleasant and they "didn't need to escape with a book."

 

What I found particularly funny about that statement is that all her kids LOVE D&D and on-line gaming!!:lol:

[MSNative]

And only if it involves video games and TV. If it involves books, you might hear about the misplaced "Book Worship" our society has.

 

A well-known unschooler talks about how her kids (teens at the time) rarely read and don't really like to read. [interestingly, though, she said they were all "very advanced readers."

 

She claimed the reason they didn't read was because their lives were happy and pleasant and they "didn't need to escape with a book."

 

What I found particularly funny about that statement is that all her kids LOVE D&D and on-line gaming!!:lol:

 

:lol: and :confused:. I can't imagine thinking that reading is a bad thing.