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Thanks to the generosity of a relative, we can afford horseback riding lessons. Dd12 has had them before (thanks to a different relative) ~ she canters, jumps, etc. She loves it. It has been a real obsession/passion for her... horses all over her room, etc. She has had a break from it for a while (about 5 months) and has moved on to some other interests but any time I bring up sports/exercise, she says she wants to ride. She doesn't know that the relative has offered to pay for lessons (we could not afford them independently) b/c I am not sure if it's the best thing to go there again.

 

I guess my thinking is this... we will never be able to afford to show -- the fees, the outfits, the additional barn time, etc. It feels like learning to ride (at least at this stables and others we've experienced) is geared towards showing. We don't see a rise in income anytime soon. So it feels unwise to set her up to always be sort of... fringe when it comes to riding, if there is another pursuit she could really throw herself into and actually pursue whole hog.

 

Does this make sense? Am I missing something? I want to find something she loves that fits with our family budget. Yes, the relative will pay, but I just know that if dd progresses, it *will* mean $$$ out of our pockets too.

 

I'm torn. Am I crazy to turn down this offer? Should I let her ride just for enjoyment's sake and not worry about the rest? Or are my thoughts of redirection logical?

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If you have an opportunity to let her ride, I would do it for now. You can always worry that there won't be enough money to do all the things that may come up, but I would just let her enjoy the opportunity that is provided and try to figure it out later if you need to do more. The horse community is filled with wonderful people who enjoy seeing the love that children have for horses. Someone could possibly loan or gift your dd all she would need, if showing is the route you all take. You don't want to deny her this opportunity due to worrying about the what-ifs.

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Find a smaller barn. She is bound to get more one on one with a smaller barn. As she ages it is not unusual for a trainer to take on working students.

 

I have one former student who's parents will not help her with any costs. She is 16, works two jobs and is in school full-time. She just bought her own trailer and is working (non-paid) for an International level Dressage trainer. No she has not been able to do all the shows, often her tack is not a specific brand, but this girl's work ethic is amazing.

 

Your dd seems to understand that she can only take lessons when the finances are there. That is good. Hopefully, as she ages she will be able to help support her passion. The more opportunity you give her to learn, the more in demand she may be in the future.

 

A lot of this is dependent on her drive and reliability.

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My dd14 loves horses, too, and has been taking lessons off and on for several years. Her instructor knows we don't have $ for shows/equipment. She lets dd come and spend a few hours grooming/feeding/learning about their medical care in addition to riding.

 

Next month, dd will be attending an informational meeting at a place that offers riding therapy. Dd may be able to volunteer there as a guide and help with the other things that horse care involves. She is happy to be around horses in any capacity, so this is great for her.

 

All that to say, riding doesn't have to be all about the shows.

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:) I would let her go for lessons as well. My dd is obsessed with horses and we don't have space or money for one. I have taken her to a field trip, and she love that! I need to call back and see if they give lessons. Even if she can't own a horse, it will be good for her. And our new preacher's family has 7 horses so we can go there when it gets a little less muddy. My husband used to own some horses ( before we were married) but circumstances made him have to sell them.

 

You never know what will happen, I think if it is her dream you should do all you can now to help her. :iagree:

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If that is her passion, I would absolutely let her take lessons. Don't worry about the other details right now.

 

We bought a horse for DD and she does do lessons and show her horse. However, if we couldn't afford to have her show (or own her own horse), I would still do the lessons. The rest is just gravy, and I know that she would want to ride any way that she could if it came to that.

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Let her ride. Find a barn that isn't all about the show, but more about the animals. My daughter works for her lessons and it's through a private owner (there are no other students other than my daughter...it's very informal). This has led my daughter to take one thing she loves, think of combining it with horses, and is looking forward to a career working in equine health care.

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I'd go for it - even if she never competes, it's a valuable skill.

 

And fwiw, when she is a little older she could easily get a summer job at most girl scout camps teaching basic horseback riding - I know our council has 2 camps and has trouble finding teen or college age girls to teach the little daisy and brownie scouts how to ride.

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I love to ride for fun, I don't ever want to compete I think it would kill my love of horses for good. I don't like to compete with horses, I enjoy riding for just that, enjoyment.:)

 

So let her ride, let her learn, who knows, one day if she gets a job she may be able to compete.

 

Cheyenne, in what context do you ride? Do you own a horse or have friends that do?

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Cheyenne, in what context do you ride? Do you own a horse or have friends that do?

 

My dad has a friend that owns a horse (Freisan) and she allows my sister and I to ride for free (it's hard for us to afford lessons of any kind). I have ridden mostly western, but enjoy English too. She instruct us on how to ride, but we mostly do it for fun. I also used to volunteer at a theraputic riding school, and that really expanded my knowledge on horses and people.:)

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Thanks everyone... unanimous vote so far. Now I just need to find a barn that isn't all about shows.

 

I know of many barns who will allow you to ride for fun, no competition required. There are all sorts of classes, you can even have classes with other students and don't have to compete. Sometimes you have to ask, but most will tell you right off the bat.

 

HTH!! And good luck!

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I would let her have the lessons. You might look around for a barn that doesn't show and that certainly would help with her feeling left out. I know we can't do every show that other girls at our barn do, but we do plenty and my dd has had to learn that she can't do everything. Not a bad lesson to learn, really.

 

Also, show coats, boots, shirts, etc. are not that hard to come by at a good price used. Every year I am giving stuff away to friends because my dd has outgrown her show clothes.

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Call your local 4H office and ask for 4H horse groups in your area. That is a MUCH cheaper way to go and she could still show. Private lessons for 4H are $25/hour (and optional) where I pay $35 at the jumping barn right now. Our 4H leader will lease out a horse for $400 for the 4 month show season and that includes the weekly 4H group lesson and other ride times during the week.

 

4H show are free to compete in but spectator might have to pay $3-5 to come. We got our show outfits used from other 4H Kids at tack sales and through word of mouth. My daughter got her NICE leather boots for $15 (only been used a few times) and her pants/shirt/jacket combo for $10--------so for $25 we were set for show clothes for English. Her western outfit was about $30.

 

4H also gives my daughter the opportunity to bring her horse for "pony rides" for special needs teens, ride in parades, go on group trail rides, etc.

 

We also show the local fun shows where classes are $3-5 each and they usually show in 3-5 classes so again, not very expensive----at least not compared to big barn horse shows.

 

She might even be able to work off some of the costs by cleaning stalls, feeding, watering, and doing other chores around the barn.

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Most definitely, let her enjoy the lessons. You never know what is down the road. Perhaps dd will lose interest (in which case, she still enjoyed an awesome experience) or perhaps these lessons will fire up an interest so strong that your dd will find a way to pursue her passion. As she gets older, she could perhaps work at the stable in exchange for lessons.

 

Horseback riding is an experience to be treasured forever. [You can tell I was one of these horse crazy girls...]

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ALso, with 4H you get weekly group riding lessons. The fee for 4H for the year is $10-20 here in Michigan. My daughter also got to STAY at the fair with her horse for a week and that cost us $100 for the entire week for the family to camp there in our trailer. That is optional but again, a lot of fun.

 

Many 4H leaders have horses they will lease out very reasonably to 4H kids so they can join even if they don't own their own horse.

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Participating in equestrian events can be expensive (you know this), but there are ways to reduce costs, such as purchasing kit used. The biggest thing that can help, if she has the time and the barn is willing, is for her to work off some of her expenses.

 

Many barns have a mix of affluent patrons who need horses exercised and groomed and "horsey" girls who have financial constraints but make it work out through sweat-equity. It is an entirely "normal" situation in show barns and people who love horses and riding really attempt to provide opportunities if they can, especially when they see commitment.

 

I would try.

 

Bill

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when she was about your dds age (she wanted large animal experience, she wants (or did) to be a vet). After going to the barn and helping younger students, grooming, sweeping up, etc, for a month, they started giving her riding lessons. This went on for 3 years. We never paid a cent and my dd knows how to ride. FWIW...

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Call your local 4H office and ask for 4H horse groups in your area. That is a MUCH cheaper way to go and she could still show. Private lessons for 4H are $25/hour (and optional) where I pay $35 at the jumping barn right now. Our 4H leader will lease out a horse for $400 for the 4 month show season and that includes the weekly 4H group lesson and other ride times during the week.

 

4H show are free to compete in but spectator might have to pay $3-5 to come. We got our show outfits used from other 4H Kids at tack sales and through word of mouth. My daughter got her NICE leather boots for $15 (only been used a few times) and her pants/shirt/jacket combo for $10--------so for $25 we were set for show clothes for English. Her western outfit was about $30.

 

4H also gives my daughter the opportunity to bring her horse for "pony rides" for special needs teens, ride in parades, go on group trail rides, etc.

 

We also show the local fun shows where classes are $3-5 each and they usually show in 3-5 classes so again, not very expensive----at least not compared to big barn horse shows.

 

She might even be able to work off some of the costs by cleaning stalls, feeding, watering, and doing other chores around the barn.

 

I wish our 4-H horse division offered lessons and things but it's just a group of girls who get together once a month to watch a horse movie or do a horse activity. :( Our barn charges $40/hr for a group lesson.

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when she was about your dds age (she wanted large animal experience, she wants (or did) to be a vet). After going to the barn and helping younger students, grooming, sweeping up, etc, for a month, they started giving her riding lessons. This went on for 3 years. We never paid a cent and my dd knows how to ride. FWIW...

 

This is what I've done! Later on, she can get paid as a stable hand.

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Many barns have a mix of affluent patrons who need horses exercised and groomed and "horsey" girls who have financial constraints but make it work out through sweat-equity. It is an entirely "normal" situation in show barns and people who love horses and riding really attempt to provide opportunities if they can, especially when they see commitment.

 

I would try.

 

Bill

 

This is the key. I have had soooooo many prospective students come across my path whose parents have told me they don't have the finances but their dd would love to work. It usually takes 2 lessons for me to figure out how dedicated the parents are to drop off/pick up and allow their child to put in the hours needed. For every 10 that say they can't afford it, I would find 1 parent willing to pay the price in transporting a non-driving child. I have willingly arranged transportation from local schools for some students that were very reliable.

 

OP, if you can find a barn with the willingness to have a healthy mix, encourage dd to volunteer to help with the myriad of regular chores that have to be done regularly. Cleaning waters, sweeping aisles, cleaning tack, dusting. Once she has gained some trust she will know which horses are loved and being cared for by their owners...and which are expensive pets sent to horsey boarding school. Those are the horses to target. Ask to groom them, lead them out by hand to graze, or lunge for some light exercise. Some she will not be able to, as their owners could be insistent that noone touch their animal. This can be incredibly hard for a young girl to understand, but it does happen.

 

Good luck!

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This is the key. I have had soooooo many prospective students come across my path whose parents have told me they don't have the finances but their dd would love to work. It usually takes 2 lessons for me to figure out how dedicated the parents are to drop off/pick up and allow their child to put in the hours needed. For every 10 that say they can't afford it, I would find 1 parent willing to pay the price in transporting a non-driving child. I have willingly arranged transportation from local schools for some students that were very reliable.

 

OP, if you can find a barn with the willingness to have a healthy mix, encourage dd to volunteer to help with the myriad of regular chores that have to be done regularly. Cleaning waters, sweeping aisles, cleaning tack, dusting. Once she has gained some trust she will know which horses are loved and being cared for by their owners...and which are expensive pets sent to horsey boarding school. Those are the horses to target. Ask to groom them, lead them out by hand to graze, or lunge for some light exercise. Some she will not be able to, as their owners could be insistent that noone touch their animal. This can be incredibly hard for a young girl to understand, but it does happen.

 

Good luck!

 

You are 100% right. Those students who want to work hard so they can ride are a minority of really committed young people who almost "need" to ride to be happy and enjoy caring for horses. And conditions do vary at different barns and with different owners.

 

But someone who has a passion can usually find a way if they are willing to work.

 

One other weird idea I came up with many moons ago was that if one lacks real full-height English riding boots that one can do pretty well wearing much less expensive paddock boots combined with using the "polo wraps" that are ordinarily used on horses legs on people's legs.

 

If jeans or other riding pants are folded with excess material on the outside of the leg (so the inside is smooth against the leg) and then the leg is wrapped from ankle to knee with the polo wraps, one has a pretty good approximation of full boots. It is not "pretty" enough for shows, but quite serviceable for daily riding and lessons.

 

Bill

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I wish our 4-H horse division offered lessons and things but it's just a group of girls who get together once a month to watch a horse movie or do a horse activity. :( Our barn charges $40/hr for a group lesson.

 

Your 4H is quite different than ours then. The girls here meet weekly from May through August for FREE group lessons--45 minutes of ground work/showmanship and 45 minutes of riding (English and Western as well as Saddle Seat). Then they participate in 3 fairs for showing.

 

Maybe you can find another barn that is not as big into the big shows. Close to home would be great if she needs to work off some lessons/riding time.

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I have three horses, a thoroughbred/quarter and two Walking horses...never plan to show them. We do natural horsemanship, we give lessons, we are working them up to run a ministry for foster children...horses are amazing creatures...we gain so much more by simply doing loads of ground games and liberty training....there is a lot more to do with them than show.

 

We had two hour weekly lessons for three years for two daughters...I spend less on my own horses with hay, ration balancers, farrier/vet fees than I ever spent on lessons per year...we bought an 8 acre farm with four stall barn and good sized house for the same price as our 1/2 acre lot with a smaller house in the city...one horse was gifted to me and the other two are rescues....it does not have to be expensive.

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Thanks to the generosity of a relative, we can afford horseback riding lessons. Dd12 has had them before (thanks to a different relative) ~ she canters, jumps, etc. She loves it. It has been a real obsession/passion for her... horses all over her room, etc. She has had a break from it for a while (about 5 months) and has moved on to some other interests but any time I bring up sports/exercise, she says she wants to ride. She doesn't know that the relative has offered to pay for lessons (we could not afford them independently) b/c I am not sure if it's the best thing to go there again.

 

I guess my thinking is this... we will never be able to afford to show -- the fees, the outfits, the additional barn time, etc. It feels like learning to ride (at least at this stables and others we've experienced) is geared towards showing. We don't see a rise in income anytime soon. So it feels unwise to set her up to always be sort of... fringe when it comes to riding, if there is another pursuit she could really throw herself into and actually pursue whole hog.

 

Does this make sense? Am I missing something? I want to find something she loves that fits with our family budget. Yes, the relative will pay, but I just know that if dd progresses, it *will* mean $$$ out of our pockets too.

 

I'm torn. Am I crazy to turn down this offer? Should I let her ride just for enjoyment's sake and not worry about the rest? Or are my thoughts of redirection logical?

 

Both my dc have been riding for years. I've been through this sort of thinking lately, and I am going to let my dc ride for fun and b/c it does several things for them they won;t get elsewhere. Ds loves riding and says he never wants to give it up. The showing part he doesn't care for. Riding helps my ds with anxiety and dd with her attention issues. It also gives them some physical exercise and teaches responsibility, determination and patience. Safety issues have forced me to re-evaluate where dc should be riding. I need to find another barn. We could maybe afford some showing, but we don't care for the amount of time it takes away from our family. We were hoping that the 4H club the kids are in would do more trail riding. They've done one this year. Now with the safety concerns I don't think I'll be letting them participate in the trail rides.

 

With Ds entering high school we are having to make choices about how we spend our time and money. He is president of his 4H dog club and is taking agility classes with his dog. He wants to pursue some AKC showing with his dog and just do the riding for fun. So, we are in the process of figuring out where to do that. We have several possibilities, but I'm waiting for spring to investigate. Since they are already in a 4H Dog Club, they can continue to keep a Horse Project through 4H even without participating in a horse club. I wish we had a horse club like Ottakee described. The horse club we have been a part of for this past year cost $20 per person just to be a member, $40 per lesson, $100 in sponsorships for the yearly show held by the club, $100-$200 per show. We tried it and it's too expensive and time consuming fo rus currently with all the other activities we have.

 

By the way, if you can find a barn that does some low key shows, there is a program through the United States Equestrian Federation that allows high school kids to earn a letter in riding. They keep track of hours spent riding and are only required to go to 3 shows per year. It's a good way to show a sport on dc's high school transcript. I found out about it from a girl who goes to school, but doesn't want to participate in the usual sports and prefers riding, yet can't afford a lot of showing. Here is the link...

 

http://www.usef.org/_IFrames/Youth/highschool/faq.aspx

 

Wherever you go, keep your eyes on safety issues. Where we live, it's hard to find a barn that isn't show oriented and still gives quality lessons.

 

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Does she actually have any interest in showing? I was horse crazy as a kid but never had a chance to do any riding until I was an adult and bought my own horses. I took lessons, was a working student under a couple different dressage trainers, etc. I was learning to jump...but I never had any interest in showing. I just wanted to learn to ride well for the sake of enjoying it.

 

I would let her do it. If she wants to show she could always finance it herself when she gets older as a working student, with part-time jobs, etc.

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