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Does your child or children help pick out books or curriculum?

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Someone gave me a book last year by a home schooling mom and one thing I read was that we should ask our children what they want to study and let them help plan out the year. I used to do this more, and now don't seem to get any feedback. Any ideas on motivating a 14 1/2 yr. old boy who is not motivated at all? :confused: I know this past year has been rough on him and me too ( my dad lost his battle with leukemia finally). And we were both very close to him. I have given him space, prayed for him, shared my grief, and had my own battle with endometriosis, surgery, debiltated most of last year! So, it has been rough. I am just getting back in the groove and have muddled through the first 1/2 of our year, since I had to take the summer off due to health ( and I thought it would help him). I am pregnant with our 8th child as well and had alot of pain and suffering ( using Nourishing Traditions Cookbook is the only thing that has helped). I am trying not to give up!:auto:

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I assume that with 7 soon to be 8 children and health issues it must be hard to find one on one time with him. But I think that is what he needs. As for curriculum; could just the two of you attend a HS convention where lots of different curriculum would be featured? Also maybe set aside a certain amount of time daily or weekly to spend together? You could call it a "workshop" and do reviews, work on writing, watch a historical or science documentary....

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Thanks for the probes and suggestions. I may take him to a conference, as he has never been to one. My husband never helps pick anything out and never wants to go.


I think he ( although he won't tell me) feels left out some, and definitely has no one to replace his papa. I let him spend alot of time with him over the past 8 years he was sick, because he almost died so many times. I didn't want him to miss out and he took him on some field trips ( WWII war ship)

and A Civil War Re- Enactment weekend, many canoe/camping trips ( yearly). Not to forget he spent the night almost every Saturday night and helped him cut wood, or just hang out and then helped cook breakfast at church on Sunday mornings. My dad was like a dad to him the first 2 years of his life too, so he held a special place in his heart from birth.

He ( my dad) also came over to visit us more than any other family and right before he died, on morphine, he gave him some driving lessons on a back road, brought pizza for lunch for us all one day, came to all of our kids birthday's, read to them, LOVED them all, supported our home school, even tutored him in math for awhile. No wonder we still miss him so much.


And no one has replaced him, but I took a pastor's advice to grieve with him and not hide my grief. I have had to make him go to airsoft wars, and Youth group, events, but not too many. I don't want him to be isolated, and he is behind in Spelling, may have slight dyslexia, it was a struggle to teach him to read. Sequential Spelling is the only thing that has helped with spelling.

I have struggled with not putting too much responsibility on him, and struggle with his sister to get her to help more ( she's 12 now)... it is getting better, but my dh is not home much and falls asleep alot, has a high stress job. And I think he is too hard on him and let him know it from time to time.

They are just not very close anymore and used to do things together (mostly fishing) so I try to promote that: it just doesn't happen much ( once a year maybe).

I went to a Mentor Kids meeting only to find out the only mentors available are for single parent families. And they wanted us all to be mentors... very disappointing.

I tried to get his dad to take him to boyscouts when he was younger but he didn't have time. Now he thinks he would hate it. He loves being outside and catching all sorts of animals to keep for awhile and study/ release.

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