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Can a couple 2nd grade moms post a writing example from their child's journal? I'm not looking for copywork, but free writing or a story or something.

 

My 9-year-old 3rd grader writes long stories and is in the middle of a story she's typing that is 18 pages typed (so far) with chapters and a plot and character development.

 

I know it isn't fair to judge my younger daughter against her sister's love of writing and natural ability in that area.

 

But I'm also wondering if she is anywhere near grade level in her writing. I'm not hung up on grade levels and I've seen each of my kids grow in spurts, but I am starting to wonder if she needs something a bit more intensive in writing.

 

Here's a sample (all punctuation and spelling hers):

 

**

Dance Recitel by Kate

 

My name is ashly I love balet. I do 2 hours of balet a week. Mommy can I

do the ricitel dance? Yes you can her Mom said. Yay ashly said. On The

Ricidle day she was varry neves but When she got out on stag she peede in

her ricidle outfit she was very abarits. When she did her spin she fell

over. Peple thoght it was funny. She did not give up. When she Went home

her mom made her cocioes. Thank you Ashly said.

 

**

 

Thoughts? Is this ok for 2nd grade?

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My second grader does no free writing. It's all forced. So, I cannot tell you. My third grader does free writing, but it's mostly in the form of comic book/graphic novel, so not in paragraph form. I have a few samples of their forced writing on my blog. I have a very hard time even getting them to do narrations.

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Here is one from my DD but it is a few months old.

Word for word, spelling and all.

 

I gust moved the 20, May, 2011. I get my oun room Im happy. Sarah gets her oun room wer both happy. We have a big basement. Megan and mary has to share ther room. Mom and Dad share. Thers 1 sowing room to sow in. Homeschool is in the basement. Im going to be having horse stikers on my wall. Sarah going to have butterflys on her wall to. Sow four rooms 2 bathrooms 1 basement.

 

I think your daughter's writing is pretty average for 2nd grade.

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My second grader does no free writing. It's all forced. So, I cannot tell you. My third grader does free writing, but it's mostly in the form of comic book/graphic novel, so not in paragraph form. I have a few samples of their forced writing on my blog. I have a very hard time even getting them to do narrations.

 

Yeah, same with mine. It gets to the first word he can't spell and stops there. He cannot stand to not know something. *sigh* Plus, his handwriting is not efficient and takes him forever. Every other subject is great. Writing, though, is his Achilles' heel.

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I teach second grade in a private school. Both of those samples would fall in the lower average of my class spelling wise.

 

The first sample had the age appropriate mistake of using dialogue without quotation marks. I teach those just before Christmas, because the kids really like to use dialogue.

 

The second sample I am a little more worried about. There are several examples of run on sentences in it that only a few of my incoming students still do. I use a clapping game to learn where periods should go.

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I think it's pretty good. I have a 2nd grader (and she's an older 2nd grader; she's 8). Here's a song she wrote this week; to the tune of Old McDonald (sort of):

 

Old mrs Shawnee had a school she had TechT The kids al The vawls aeiou and at Lunch Thae had chees crds and moer aeiou

 

We are majorly trying to work on spelling. :001_smile:

 

 

I teach second grade in a private school. Both of those samples would fall in the lower average of my class spelling wise.

 

The first sample had the age appropriate mistake of using dialogue without quotation marks. I teach those just before Christmas, because the kids really like to use dialogue.

 

The second sample I am a little more worried about. There are several examples of run on sentences in it that only a few of my incoming students still do. I use a clapping game to learn where periods should go.

 

Please share the clapping game and any other tips you have. :001_smile:

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my son's only free writing is in his journal. here are two samples (from today & yesterday).

 

What animal are you afraid of and why?

 

I am afraid of scorpions. They can sting you. They are poisonous. They look scary. I hope a scorpion never comes to my house!

 

If you could visit any cartoon, which one would it be and why?

 

If I could go in a cartoon I would pick Pokemon. It is an awesome show! I could catch real pokemon! I would love to beat the Elite 4. Pokemon is my favorite!

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I teach second grade in a private school. Both of those samples would fall in the lower average of my class spelling wise.

 

The first sample had the age appropriate mistake of using dialogue without quotation marks. I teach those just before Christmas, because the kids really like to use dialogue.

 

The second sample I am a little more worried about. There are several examples of run on sentences in it that only a few of my incoming students still do. I use a clapping game to learn where periods should go.

Thanks for the feedback. My DD wrote the 2nd example. It was at the beginning of 2nd grade if that makes a difference. We are working on sentence structure right now. I do appreciate any feedback. I will have her write something tomorrow and will post it tomorrow for more feedback from those willing to give it.

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my son's only free writing is in his journal. here are two samples (from today & yesterday).

 

What animal are you afraid of and why?

 

I am afraid of scorpions. They can sting you. They are poisonous. They look scary. I hope a scorpion never comes to my house!

 

If you could visit any cartoon, which one would it be and why?

 

If I could go in a cartoon I would pick Pokemon. It is an awesome show! I could catch real pokemon! I would love to beat the Elite 4. Pokemon is my favorite!

 

I like those prompts! Did you make them up yourself or are they from a particular resource? :bigear:

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From my ds7, who is on the young end for 2nd grade (September birthday, just makes the cutoff here) - I asked him to write a few sentences about something he had read recently:

 

"Ivy and Bean want chease. They need ten dolars. They get ten dolars by selling noospapers. They buy the chease. I havent read the whole thing yet."

 

He's always really terse like that though - orally as well, to tell the truth (for questions others ask anyway - he's got all kinds of things to say when he makes the topic). It's only in the last month or two that he's felt suddenly comfortable writing independently instead of doing copywork and he does it really easily, without complaint and with pleasure and pride that he can suddenly bring together spelling, handwriting and a little punctuation and make sense on the page (his handwriting was really readable for that one). So I'm not messing with it for now. We'll start adding more later. For now, we just edit for spelling and punctuation together.

 

My other ds7 can't write that well yet. He does single sentences where everything is misspelled. But I'm not fighting him about it. He'll do it on his own timetable. I used to teach writing to middle schoolers so I have to say while sometimes I have these moments of doubt, I've seen the writers than the ps system of writing constantly churns out and I was pretty unimpressed. And I've shepherded lots of behind 12 yo writers into decent essay writers, so I know we'll get there.

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OK, here is one I just had DD journal about (I like the idea of journaling...I am going to have her do it after every outing). She turned 8 in December. Any and all feedback is welcome...especially since her dad (my ex) thinks she isn't learning anything at home...ugh, that's another vent.

She did ask me how to spell library and museum. All of the rest of the spelling, grammar, punctuation is hers. I asked her to write about our day today.

 

We went to the bank. Then we went to the childrens museum. That was fun. Hayden came too. My favret part of the museum was the bank the dress up room doanesor dig with beans. Then we went to the library. We got books for my book report.

 

We haven't done commas yet so those are obviously missing. She is getting punctuation better. Some of her spelling is wrong and that is OK. She knows to ask for words she can't spell and spells others incorrectly. It's second grade, it's OK.

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I like those prompts! Did you make them up yourself or are they from a particular resource? :bigear:

 

i get most of our writing prompts from a teacher's website. just scroll down to the monthly calendar & she has writing prompts for each day. to teach my son how to write a very simple 5 sentence paragraph, i've recently started using this model posted by someone else in the K-8 forum (we started with the numbering, but now he can just write the paragraph). we keep it very low maintenance for now.

 

my daughter is in 4th grade and uses BJU, which rotates between grammar and writing. so for her, i'm using prompts as well on the weeks we focus on grammar. my expectations for her are very different of course, but it is equally helping her in a big way & writing a paragraph takes moments now instead of an hour.:)

Edited by mytwomonkeys
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OK, here is one I just had DD journal about (I like the idea of journaling...I am going to have her do it after every outing). She turned 8 in December. Any and all feedback is welcome...especially since her dad (my ex) thinks she isn't learning anything at home...ugh, that's another vent.

She did ask me how to spell library and museum. All of the rest of the spelling, grammar, punctuation is hers. I asked her to write about our day today.

 

We went to the bank. Then we went to the childrens museum. That was fun. Hayden came too. My favret part of the museum was the bank the dress up room doanesor dig with beans. Then we went to the library. We got books for my book report.

 

We haven't done commas yet so those are obviously missing. She is getting punctuation better. Some of her spelling is wrong and that is OK. She knows to ask for words she can't spell and spells others incorrectly. It's second grade, it's OK.

 

i think it's perfectly fine. honestly, the fact that she is comfortable with pencil & paper is the biggest obstacle to overcome in teaching writing imho, so i think you're coming along very well :)

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i get most of our writing prompts from a teacher's website. just scroll down to the monthly calendar & she has writing prompts for each day. to teach my son how to write a very simple 5 sentence paragraph, i've recently started using this model posted by someone else in the K-8 forum (we started with the numbering, but now he can just write the paragraph). we keep it very low maintenance for now.

 

Thanks! Journal prompts have never been a success with my son, but the two you posted (animal you are scared of, cartoon to visit) caught my eye. I think he could get into writing about things like that.

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Here's a free-writing sample from my oldest, who is a 2nd grader:

 

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Peter Pan. and it was Christmas. There were presents. Peter got some arrows and he shot arrows at a apple on a tree. he won the contest and won some presents for boys and girls at home.

 

What a happy time for boys and girls. Then Peter flew off into the night time sky by the stars and moon. Wendy went with him far, far away but the lost boys came too. Peter told the lost boys to go home but they don't listen. So Peter chased them off fast with his magic sword.

 

Wendy said no not to use the magic sword but Peter said I know better than you!!" And he used it anyway.

 

The End!!!! By me!!!"

 

This is a writing sample from my 6 year old, a first grade girl:

 

" This story is called Alice and the Mad Hatter. And the Chesaire Cat.

 

When her mama was reading her lesson on the tree branch with her cat Delilah. She put a crown on her cat. The cat took off the crown and jumped on mama's head.

 

After that she was laying in the flowers. She saw a rabbit with a clock. She followed the rabbit into a hole with Delilah.

 

She went down the hole. She fell on her head. After that she went through a lot of doors. She was having a hard time with the door. She couldn't get a key.

 

Then she found a key and opened the door. Then she met ? She went to the woods and met her friends Twinkle and ?

 

Then she went to a tea party. Then she met a mad hatter and a rabbit.

 

After the tea party she was full of rabbits. Then she left.

 

She met a queen who had cards. And she met a king. The queen was mean and bossy.

 

Alice was doing her duty. She told the queen to stop being bossy.

 

Then they played golf with flamingos. The king tried to stop them.

 

Off with her head! They chased her across the ocean.

 

She was home at last! wake up Alice!

 

The End."

 

My kiddos dictate their stories to me, although my oldest does do some of his own writing. He has poor handwriting and tends to obsess over spelling things correctly. I let them narrate/dictate about whatever they are interested in. Lately they have been re-visiting books we read in the fall and movies they've been watching on Netflix since we've been taking turns being sick since Christmas. Sometimes Princess does her own thing, talking about whatever strikes her fancy. Boo writes a lot of journal type things about music. I also have him write down his thoughts whenever he is getting angry, frustrated or bored. He likes to do copy work too, which has improved his spelling and punctuation use.

 

I made a little game using index cards that I use to help my kids organize their sentences and also to teach some basic grammar and punctuation. I will post an example of this later if anyone is interested.

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I made a little game using index cards that I use to help my kids organize their sentences and also to teach some basic grammar and punctuation. I will post an example of this later if anyone is interested.

 

I am! Thank you. :)

 

 

Here is a sample of my dd's free writing. (This is the story of Baba Yaga that she heard on storynory.com.)

 

 

 

Ocqupation: Storyteller.

Once upon a time, there was a king and a queen. But sadly, the queen died. But before she died, she gave Vasilisa a wonderful gift. She gave her a Rag doll. That doll Looked like a normal doll. Para one done.

When the queen died, the king decided to remarry. But the woman he married was a evil woman. Para two done. She had two daughters. They were both jelous of Vasilisa's beauty. But as long as the king was around they pretended to like Vasilisa. But every now and then one of the step sisters would wispher in her ear, "Just wait till your dear papa leaves you alone with us, Then youll' see!" They sneered at her. Para three done. One day, the king had to go somewhere. Vasilisa begged him to take her along. But the king just laughed and said "I am going for bissnuees, it will be a tiring journey for you." And he left. Para four is done.

Now the step people were ready to show their true colours. They were going to celabrate, so the step mother called Vasilisa.

 

 

She abandoned the story at this point. (I think she got tired of writing. :))

 

She is generally a good speller, but now that I've typed that out verbatim, I see she has made a few spelling and punctuation mistakes.

Edited by nansk
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This has been a really helpful thread to read! My younger daughter (the 7yo) definitely struggles with spelling. She will spell a word 4 different ways in one story. And yeah, we've gone over quotation marks at least a million times! We did FLL last year and it was NOT clicking with her, so we switched to GWG and I think it is going better for her, but we have a long road left to go, obviously!!

 

This is another sample:

 

When I went to sea world I asked sombody if you can swim with the dolfins. He said yes you can swim with the dolphins. Yay I thoght. When I saw the dolphins I jumped in the water. Other pepel were jupping in the watter to so it was oky. When I was swiming I got on one dolphin but I fell over.

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Ds is really into making "books," especially Harry Potter and Star Wars. Here's one he wrote the other day:

 

A shadowy figure stood in the doorway. He was tall, cloaked, and very good at light saber fighting. His name was Darth Maul. "Yes!" He whispered. He looked at all the sleeping Padawans. He chose three to capture. "Hee, Hee!" Darth Maul chuckled.

 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, came QUI-GON JINN! Followed by Obi-Wan Kenobi! Darth Maul fled. Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi were very happy. Qui-Gon Jinn told Obi-Wan to stay with the Padawans. "No. The Senate told me to stay wiht you." "So they did?" Qui-Gon asked. "Yes," Obi-Wan answered. Come with me then.

 

They found him but Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan to stay on the ship. Qui-Gon was rescued and they decided to go after him again.

 

The rest of the story is in pictures (they defeat Darth Maul, of course). :D

 

I'm definitely seeing fruit from FLL 2. He's picked up a lot on his own, though.

Edited by Kirch
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Just for kicks, I told my kids that their LA assignment today was to write a story about anything they wanted. Ds2 immediately said, "A chicken died. The end." I said it had to have at least 5 sentences. After some major whining, ds1 (the comic book author) telling me he is more of a picture drawer than a storyteller, and them wheedling it down to 4 sentences, I got them to produce the following:

 

Ds2 (2nd grade)- there was a oshawhat. and a dude He said Hi. the oshawhat killed him. the carcass (he asked me how to spell this) roted.

 

Ds1 (3rd grade)- once upon a time there was an encyclopedia. maxxor went and crushed the encyclopedia. a snake died in a chaotic toilet. maxxor revolted quickly. the end!

 

I cannot even tell you how many times we've gone over the capitalization rules. On regular school assignments, I make them correct the errors. Hopefully, it will sink in one day.

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Just for kicks, I told my kids that their LA assignment today was to write a story about anything they wanted. Ds2 immediately said, "A chicken died. The end." I said it had to have at least 5 sentences. After some major whining, ds1 (the comic book author) telling me he is more of a picture drawer than a storyteller, and them wheedling it down to 4 sentences, I got them to produce the following:

 

Ds2 (2nd grade)- there was a oshawhat. and a dude He said Hi. the oshawhat killed him. the carcass (he asked me how to spell this) roted.

 

Ds1 (3rd grade)- once upon a time there was an encyclopedia. maxxor went and crushed the encyclopedia. a snake died in a chaotic toilet. maxxor revolted quickly. the end!

 

I cannot even tell you how many times we've gone over the capitalization rules. On regular school assignments, I make them correct the errors. Hopefully, it will sink in one day.

 

 

THAT is funny. You definitely have boys!:lol:

 

My dd7 recently made a recipe book of smoothies I could make her. :D

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I don't think you can really compare free/creative writing abilities with directed, expository writing as they really are two separate things. The former is more of an inborn ability while the latter is a learned skill.

 

Ds (9 - 4th grade) will write pages and pages of beautifully written stories complete with correct grammar, punctuation, spelling, paragraphs, character and plot development, etc... but ask him to write a narrative paragraph about what we read in history that day and he panics and freezes up.

 

With that said, your 2nd grade dd's writing sample seems very age appropriate :).

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My dd likes to make up complex stories. She has fine motor delays, so until recently, I would type the stories as she dictated them. Now, I have her write them herself, which has not been such a great thing when it comes to complexity.

 

For example, here is what she wrote in her story she began today:

 

Once upon a time a pricess lived in a castle neer the foest. her name was Laura. She like to play in the castle. One day she saw a evil wich. Oh no,

 

(It's a real cliffhanger, I know.)

 

 

 

Contrast that with her dictated story, which she wrote after we read Gorky Rises by William Steig. DD was very concerned with the fate of the elephant at the end of the book, so she decided to tell his story. She told me where to put paragraph breaks and quotation marks, FTR. Betcha can't guess what memory work she had just finished up. :)

 

The elephant started walking. He walked for miles across the hot, hot desert until he finally reached a nice and cool place where he read the sign and it said, "Zoo." He finally found a nice cool home at last.

 

It wasn't long until he met a woman elephant. Then they were mom and dad because the woman elephant had babies. The two kids were named Africa and Australia. They lived with their parents at the zoo. The zookeeper was proud because now the zoo had a new animal. The elephant family was proud too. Oh, and there's more.

 

The mom's name was South America and the father's name was Brazil. Not a bad name, huh? The whole elephant family lived happily in the zoo and the zookeeper put the elephants in a nice cozy spot where the sun couldn't get on them because it had a nice shady hut.

 

The elephant kids started growing. Africa was 3. Australia was 5. They lived happily ever after.

 

 

 

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Just for kicks, I told my kids that their LA assignment today was to write a story about anything they wanted. Ds2 immediately said, "A chicken died. The end." I said it had to have at least 5 sentences. After some major whining, ds1 (the comic book author) telling me he is more of a picture drawer than a storyteller, and them wheedling it down to 4 sentences, I got them to produce the following:

 

Ds2 (2nd grade)- there was a oshawhat. and a dude He said Hi. the oshawhat killed him. the carcass (he asked me how to spell this) roted.

 

Ds1 (3rd grade)- once upon a time there was an encyclopedia. maxxor went and crushed the encyclopedia. a snake died in a chaotic toilet. maxxor revolted quickly. the end!

 

I cannot even tell you how many times we've gone over the capitalization rules. On regular school assignments, I make them correct the errors. Hopefully, it will sink in one day.

 

:lol:

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