Does anyone have "normal" kids??

[gramlingk]

Lately I have heard several friends talking about their children who went right into 2nd semester intermediate Spanish and made a 100 on the quiz or started playing their instrument and skipped right to the third level band. My kids are the kind of kids that progress at pretty regular rates. They are smart but not overly interested in school. They like to try new things but are not prodigies. I'd like to hear from other homeschool moms who have "normal" kids like mine. Mind you, I celebrate the achievements of these kids who are super-excelling. I think it's awesome that they are doing well and finding out what their special talents are. My kids are 10 and 11 so I know they have plenty of time to find out their special talents, too. I'm just feeling like somehow I have messed up somewhere if my children don't have a lifeplan yet. Crazy, right??

[Ibbygirl]

I know how you feel. Believe me. I have two children on the Autism spectrum. My son is almost 11 and still doesn't speak. I would be so happy if he just called me "mommy". I envy you your normal kids! :) :grouphug:

[Pink Fairy]

Some people live in Lake Wobegon, where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." There's just no point in competing. :001_smile:

[DawnM]

yup!

[Elinor Everywhere]

I consider mine normal! My dd is smart, but she's an underachiever, so they kind of cancel out. :D She has lots of interests, but isn't a prodigy at anything. She's social and outgoing, but prefers to have 3-4 friends and not be part of a large group of girls.

 

My son has a learning disability that makes him read s-l-o-w-l-y. Actually, he does EVERYTHING slowly. Drives me insane. He loves to build with Legos and watch movies/TV. He doesn't like sports, even though he looks like an athlete and everybody assumes he plays at least one or two of them. Seriously....this kid doesn't even want to leave the house most of the time!

 

Both kids do their schoolwork with no problems, but it's not like they're dying for Monday to come around. And both are not competitive, which just seems so strange since both dh and I have a competitive streak (especially my dh). My dd plays tennis, but isn't on a team and doesn't really want to compete. My son takes archery, which he loves, but he's happy just going to the practices. My dd plays violin but really couldn't care less about symphony (she was in my city's youth symphony for 3 years).

 

See what I mean? :tongue_smilie:

[In the Rain]

Some people live in Lake Wobegon, where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." There's just no point in competing. :001_smile:

 

:lol::iagree:

 

FWIW, I have normal kids too. :D

[Lang Syne Boardie]

My third son, who is eleven, is delightfully average. He is bright, curious, funny, and a good artist. He's a folk musician and a TKD student, but not at the top of the heap in either setting. He is exactly at fifth grade level in 100% of his schoolwork, usually earning B's in math and grammar. College is not in the longterm plan for him, and he has been excused from learning Greek. (Latin is non-negotiable.)

 

He is by far the happiest and most content of my children. His dreams and plans are simple and sweet.

 

Some of us who sound like Lake Woebegon Moms concerning some of our kids are also raising other children who are 'average.' I know of many on these boards that have more than one type of kid. It isn't even strange.

 

The advanced/gifted/talented/superlative kids are real, and need just as much love and acceptance in their lives as anyone else. They don't need jealousy aimed at them, and neither do their mothers.

[garddwr]

No prodigies around here! My oldest is 8, she isn't studying calculus or soloing with the symphony. She hasn't published a novel or won an international art competition. She would rather play than do schoolwork. Our participation in the local science fair consisted of going to see everyone else's displays. My 6 year old can probably name a couple hundred kinds of dinosaurs--does someone give out medals for that??

 

My kids are learning and growing, I think they're on track to becoming happy, productive adults, hopefully marrying and raising some grandkids for me...I have known a few prodigies, and they can accomplish great things--but I haven't seen that their lives are easier or happier or more fulfilling than us "normal" types. I'm content.

 

--Sarah

[Carrie12345]

.

 

Some of us who sound like Lake Woebegon Moms concerning some of our kids are also raising other children who are 'average.' I know of many on these boards that have more than one type of kid. It isn't even strange.

 

The advanced/gifted/talented/superlative kids are real, and need just as much love and acceptance in their lives as anyone else. They don't need jealousy aimed at them, and neither do their mothers.

 

:iagree:

I have an exceptionally smart child, a fairly typical child, and a child who needs a lot of help. (Plus two undetermined.) This does not make me a better, normal, or worse parent.

[Peaceful Isle]

Mine are totally normal. They have their subjects they love, and also many they hate. They complain about school some days, they rush through it on others... somedays they actually want to do school with a smile :) But mostly, .. they love their time outside digging in the dirt, loving the sunshine etc.. Ive thought about taking my story of the world book and reading it to them while they jump on the trampoline. Haven't done it yet though ;)

[Daisy]

I love hearing about other children's successes. The only time it becomes difficult it when I'm trying to determine where my kids fall on the grade-level spectrum. Should I be pushing them a bit more or am I expecting too much? I'm comparing not to try and make myself feel better but to actually gain information.

 

In my dream world, I'd remember from one WTM thread to the next whose child is gifted and whose falls closer to average, but in reality my memory isn't that good. What it has made me realize is that I'm better off finding out that kind of information from people I know in real life.

 

That way online, we can all stick to sharing our successes without feeling that we have to post a disclaimer every time we do.

 

For what it is worth, I *think* my daughter does very well with school but wouldn't fall into the gifted category, and my son struggles due to his dysgraphia and dyslexia. I'd say both of my children are normal but upon closer examination maybe neither one of them is. Who knows.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My aspie son has unusual verbal abilities, but other than that, neither of my kids is exceptional at anything. They have no desire to do anything musical or sports related. They enjoy their theatre class, but they don't really excel at it. Neither of them can ride their bikes, yet.

 

They are exceptional at listing off Star Wars and Pokemon characters.

[Pretty in Pink]

I have one child that is exceptionally smart (perhaps 'gifted' is the correct term, I don't really know, and I don't necessarily care to label him, in any case). My 8 year old is average, which is perfectly fine. My soon to be 6 year old also seems average to me. My other two are yet to be determined.

 

Don't get caught up in the labeling of your children or in comparing them to everyone else you know. :grouphug:

[sewingmama]

Yes - my kids are average/normal. They are smart enough that they never have problems with their age level lessons but they are certainly not advanced. I've been teaching my DD to read for 6 months now and she is still at the sounding everything out/CVC word stage. She certainly isn't one of those K'rs reading Chapter books :tongue_smilie:I keep a checklist of the Edication departments standards for kids at each grade level and she is doing just fine according to that -so I'm happy.

 

My DD has too many other things she is interested in to be worried about schoolwork - she doesn't enjoy doing it.

 

My DS is a regular 4yo - who can't read or even hold a pencil properly. He is quite smart as well -can do addition in his head already - so maybe that will turn out to be his gift.

 

My kids don't play instruments, take dance classes or speak a language. They love to play in the dirt or go to the beach.

 

They are very happy and outgoing children -they love to talk to adults and are have great social skills and many adults tell me they are "great kids" and I'm very lucky to have them. :001_smile: So that's all I care about really

[Night Elf]

I'd call my children normal. I'm always a little miffed at the homeschoolers with the extremely advanced children who get into top colleges with full scholarships say that all homeschoolers should be able to do that. My kids are kind of smart and definitely ahead of what the public schools think they should be doing according to age, but that is only because we have had the flexibility to do things on an entirely different schedule than the public schools. Stuff doesn't come easy peasy to them. We all put our britches on one leg at a time in this family. Oh, and we all wake up with bed heads. I hope that's normal. :tongue_smilie:

[Mommyfaithe]

Some people live in Lake Wobegon, where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." There's just no point in competing. :001_smile:

 

YOU SAID IT!!!!!!!

 

 

My kids are ultra normal-ish..if you don't count their quirks and oddities....:tongue_smilie:

Faithe

[Dolphin]

I think my kids are weird...but in your terms they are normal. My son is wonderful at reading, but really struggling with Math. He has strengths and weaknesses. My 4 year old, loves to play, and sometimes to sit with me for an hour to "do" school. Her big passion and life plan at the moment is to cut as many pieces of paper into as many little bits as she can:tongue_smilie:

[Night Elf]

The advanced/gifted/talented/superlative kids are real, and need just as much love and acceptance in their lives as anyone else. They don't need jealousy aimed at them, and neither do their mothers.

 

I didn't see the OP make any type of remark that there is something wrong with the kids who do excel. Instead, she is asking if there are other people who feel like they've done something wrong because we don't have children who excel and/or gifted/talented. Sometimes we moms just need reassurance that it's okay if our children are all not alike. Her wondering is not taking away from someone else's thunder.

[BigMamaBird]

I do!

 

My kids are happy, right on target, healthy, average, run-of-the-mill, suburban kids. They have fits, get dirty, whine about school, love their families, are developing God given talents, love junk food, eat their veggies. Random. Normal kids.

 

And I couldn't be happier!

[Catwoman]

I think most people's kids are "normal." Meet them and see for yourself.

 

Don't listen to all of the moms who brag about their 7 year-old who speaks fluent Ancient Greek and who will be playing his violin with the state symphony next month... because 6 months from now, that same mom may be posting about how the same kid can't read to save his life, has anger management issues, and can't tell the difference between a chicken and a cow. :tongue_smilie:

 

Honestly, I know that kids have different levels of ability, but so much about what we read about them online is filtered through their mom's eyes, which may be realistic (or even pessimistic, because the kid doesn't meet the mom's lofty goals,) but may also be wearing some serious rose-colored glasses.

 

I knew a hs mom from a local online forum, and I'm telling you, her kid was Super Child. He was brilliant, he could sing and dance, he could create his own computer programs, and was also incredibly athletic.

 

And then I met him. He was a bright little guy, and quite personable, but was nothing like his mother had described him. In short, he was "normal." He was good at some things, and not so hot at others. I think the mom was living out her own personal goals and fantasies through this kid. He was over-worked and over-scheduled, all because his mom thought he was so incredibly gifted and motivated. He wasn't motivated; she was. I don't think this poor kid had more than 10 minutes a day to just relax and play.

 

Anyway, I'm not picking on anyone on this forum; I just wanted to point out that whenever you read about someone else's perfect, perfect, perfect child, unless you have actually met the kid, take the bragging with a grain of salt and don't let yourself feel badly that someone else's life seems better than yours or that their kids' abilities seem more impressive. No one is perfect. No one's life is trouble-free. Comparing yourself to others never ends well.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I didn't see the OP make any type of remark that there is something wrong with the kids who do excel. Instead, she is asking if there are other people who feel like they've done something wrong because we don't have children who excel and/or gifted/talented. Sometimes we moms just need reassurance that it's okay if our children are all not alike. Her wondering is not taking away from someone else's thunder.

 

I didn't quite catch that, so thanks for pointing it out.

 

I'm not worried about stolen thunder. I just know how instantly these threads about 'does anybody have average kids' turn into bash-fests on above-average homeschoolers so I tried to head that off at the pass.

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

:iagree: It does seem to me that families with smart or prodigy students ( and I am referring to home educated) tend to brag on the prodigy more than any other child. And those of us with struggling learners tend to wait too long to admit or ask for help. I asked and was a little thrown off, but encouraged not to give up. Especially since I had pressure from my then preacher's wife to not hold my son (struggling) back. What she did not know is that I was not holding him back, and I told her I was teaching my dd and him together. She wanted me to enroll him in their little Christian school which I did work in half of one year, and was not impressed. It was while my dd was in a class on Wednesday night that some workers told my husband that she was reading at a 5th grade level, and I was teaching her at her pleading. She taught herself to read at age 3 and I thought she was going to be a prodigy-- not really.... I blame myself some, but then know God values our love, obedience and wants us to grow in Character more than anything.

 

I have been scarred a little but am getting over the last preacher's wife who did constantly brag about their son, and he is very intelligent no doubt. And, I felt inferior and put down alot by her too, finally betrayed. After 6 years of serving and giving we finally had to leave.

So, I am glad I continued home educating, and have forgiven her.

It was almost a relief to hear her own daughter ( friend of my daughter) tell me one night when we were walking that she had not been doing her math lessons for a few months and her mother had not even realised it. I felt bad for her then, and realised they really did focus on their prodigy and it made her feel inferior.

Character is definitely at the top of my list of goals as well as prioritizing what is important.

 

Still, on the whole, I think that families who have at least 3-4 children or more will have some who struggle in some area. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

 

I had the pleasure of listening to the only talk by Susan Wise Bauer in Cincinatti 2 years ago that was not recorded. She shared from her heart, and shared the victories and the struggles of her own upbringing and her present family. I was so impressed, and relieved, a barrier came down. I had to hug her!:grouphug:

[Catwoman]

I'm not worried about stolen thunder. I just know how instantly these threads about 'does anybody have average kids' turn into bash-fests on above-average homeschoolers so I tried to head that off at the pass.

 

That makes a lot of sense. I was thinking more in terms of the "braggy moms." I think many of the negative perceptions are based more upon the attitude of the mom, rather than the abilities of the kids. (Like if someone posts a question about how to teach an older child how to add and subtract, and someone chimes in with how they taught Little Baby Brilliant advanced calculus when he was four. Not. Helpful. At. All. It's just bragging and trying to make themselves feel superior by making others feel inferior.)

[AuntieM]

Kids all across the board here, too. Each one is exactly the person God created him or her to be. :)

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think moms-of-prodigies might not talk about our other kids enough but we don't realize we're not talking about them. They are just part of us, always there and always loved, but not generating a need for a lot of public comment.

 

I adore my eldest son, obviously, and I love having him here, but he's pretty intense unless he's asleep. To tell the truth, I don't know how I'd get through the day without my 11yo, the bright, happy, non-academic. He is the sunshine of the house. He is a stabilizing influence on the other boys. But what do I say about him? He likes legos? He found two frogs in the garage? He got another hole in his jeans? That's his life.

 

That's not all he is to us, of course. To us he's like a sweet spirit that lives in the house, bringing joy and fun to the rest of us who tend to be so somber. He is excellent company, and the first one called when cookies are baked. We could not do without him, not for a moment. And I think if he ever has a family his temperate and positive ways will make him a wonderful husband and father. He's a terrific son.

 

But how do I start a thread about that? For #1 son I say, "He wants to be a doctor, what do I do," or "If he does go to college early, what do I need to know," or "He got ahead of himself emotionally, or his coach/mentor/teacher pushed too hard and his heart is broken," or "We're having a little trouble handling three languages and five instruments, how do you do it."

 

For #3 son my threads would be, "Praise God he's here and happy, and today is much like yesterday." That's what I tell God at night, or remark aside to DH, and pray for with all my heart.

 

But for message board purposes there isn't much to report on this little guy who I couldn't live without.

[jenangelcat]

My first was talking well and knew the alphabet and all the letter sounds at 18 months. At 6 she's still miles ahead of other kids her age and I forget she's still a kid. I caught her reading The Hunger Games on my e-reader today.

 

Her sister however is normal so far. She took a lot longer to speak and nearing 4 she can still be hard to understand. She can sing the alphabet song and that is it. She doesn't have the focus or interest in learning that her sister has. I doubt we'll be starting schooly stuff any time soon. My 16 month old son is progressing at the same pace.

 

Am I worried? No. Do I occasionally have to remind myself that they are different people who learn their own ways and at their own pace. Yes.

[JessReplanted]

Some people live in Lake Wobegon, where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." There's just no point in competing. :001_smile:

 

 

:iagree:

 

 

:lol:

[Laura in MI]

Kids all across the board here, too. Each one is exactly the person God created him or her to be. :)

 

:iagree: :001_smile:

[Guest rileynjadensmom]

My kids are just 'normal' kids also... My DD9 is a really good speller, and she's a great reader, she likes math and science, but not an academic overachiever by any means. My DS8 has a speech issue, although minor, it has messed with his spelling and slowed him down with his reading, although thankfully he does like to read. He's pretty good at Math and endures everything else. They are both competitive gymnasts and even that they are good, but not great, and have to work hard for what they do on team. So yeah, mine are just 'normal' kids also. Although hard, I really try not to compare mine to those certain kids who just seem to excel at all they do...

[In2why]

My 8 year old has big dreams. . .when I ask him what he wants to do when he grows up, he tells me he wants to work at 7-11 and live with me forever. (7-11 is a convenience store)

 

So yes, I have normal, or maybe slightly odd.

[In2why]

Some people live in Lake Wobegon, where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." There's just no point in competing. :001_smile:

 

I LOVE this!!!!!!!! I am so looking for my next opportunity to use it in real life.

[NotAVampireLvr]

we are all pretty much average here... we have strengths and weaknesses in our family like anyone else. It gets pretty tiresome not having much in common with some homeschoolers because my kids are neither special needs or gifted. I get tired of feeling guilty having the "normal" child. I hate the term normal...because for you to call my kid normal indicates that somehow the other child is not-normal because they are special needs or gifted. Seems odd to me. I think this is a big part of the reason we are only just starting now. I didn't feel justified to HS.

 

We don't have any drama-filled reason for wanting to HS... its just what we wanted to do for our family. Our schools here are fine.. and we're not doing it because we're overly conservative either. We're pretty much your typical "just because" family.

 

can you tell I hate labels?

Edited January 24, 2012 by NotAVampireLvr

[kalanamak]

I have a Standard U.S. Issue boy.

[LMD]

Well, mine certainly aren't normal (with us as parents, they didn't stand a chance), but they're pretty average! I like to think they're on the bright side of average - but I do not think they're geniuses. I'm not planning a super top of the tops education for them, but I do hope to give them an excellent enough education that they have opportunities to make their own choices. But mostly to just be well educated, thoughtful individuals - all job prospects are secondary.

 

They have their strengths and weaknesses, good days and bad days. My DD is academic, quite broadly smart across the subjects. She picks things up quickly. But she has a real lazy streak (no idea where that came from :tongue_smilie:). DS1 is clever too in a different way - he thinks just like DH, which is alienese to me most of the time! He is the worlds biggest complainer and makes mountains out of molehills, but if it's something he wants to do then he'll do it well and joyfully beyond our expectations.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think most people's kids are "normal." Meet them and see for yourself.

 

I don't give a darn about normal or otherwise. All kids have strengths and areas to work on. some may have true gifts or disabilities or both. My kids are who they are and people can like it or not.

 

It *does* seem like EVERYBODY these days wants a super genius or a tragic situation. I can definitely see where people wonder if there is ANY child in average range in most areas.

 

Just know that those of us with children with differences would like to celebrate sometimes too. Maybe some people could just be happy for us when our almost two year old or almost twelve year old reads his first book independently. We will be happy for you when your five or six year old does too. Okay?

[WTMCassandra]

Mine are normal. Smart, but normal. I have seen truly gifted children, and I have been grateful for the perspective. Some people who aren't used to the classical approach think my children are some kind of advanced whizzes, but I know to ignore them. They are just smart, normal children. No prodigies here, and that's okay with me. They are who they are.

[Catwoman]

Just know that those of us with children with differences would like to celebrate sometimes too. Maybe some people could just be happy for us when our almost two year old or almost twelve year old reads his first book independently. We will be happy for you when your five or six year old does too. Okay?

 

I think that is an excellent point.

 

When I said that I think most kids are "normal," I meant that most kids are pretty nice and kind of cute and a little annoying and somewhat charming. I don't really care if they're super-smart, or not-so-smart, or exactly average, or any other intelligence level. If the kid is nice, I like him. If he's a little brat, I don't care if he's Einstein, I'm not going to like him.

 

So for me, the vast majority of kids qualify as normal. And if their moms are proud of their accomplishments, I'll be right there to celebrate with them.