coffeegal Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I asked my kids to write a short paper (1-2 pages, handwritten, double spaced) on a science topic we've studied. This is what my 15 yo son, 9th grade, wrote. Our focus lately has been staying on topic while writing. Thank you. Volcanic Eruptions There are many different types of volcanic eruptions, each one exploding in a unique way. Often, it even has an individual type of lava flow. The Pelean Eruption, for instance, is explosive, with the volcano giving out bright clouds and thick lava. Hawaiian eruptions are famous for their lava, which is very runny. This gives the volcano a large base. A Strombolcan eruption occurs often, but with small discharges. Fortunately, the Pilian Eruption is rarer, being very explosive with large clouds of ash. Finally, a vulcanian eruption throws near-solid lava far from its origin. These are a few of many types of volcanic eruptions, and each one is as unique as the volcano that made the explosion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 So this was supposed to be a 2 page paper? This is a nice paragraph. Here is what I would expect a 10th grader to do on this subject: I. Introduction- It should have an opening hook like maybe a description from a famous eruption to grab the reader's interest and a few basic sentences about volcanos in general. Then his thesis statement. His thesis statement needs to be an opinion about volcanos....something he can prove like maybe which one is most dangerous??? II. Pelean Eruption A. Description B. Famous eruptions of this type in the past. C. How dangerous it is III. Strombolcan A. Description B. Famous eruptions of this type C. How dangerous it is IV Vulcanian A. Description B. Famous eruptions C. How dangerous it is V. Conclusion- Restate the thesis and conclude the paper. Each paragraph should be at least 6 sentences. This should get you the length you want. Honestly, my 4th grader is currently writing the type of paragraph you posted above. A 10th grader needs to write much more!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 So this was supposed to be a 2 page paper? This is a nice paragraph. Here is what I would expect a 10th grader to do on this subject: Each paragraph should be at least 6 sentences. This should get you the length you want. Honestly, my 4th grader is currently writing the type of paragraph you posted above. A 10th grader needs to write much more!!!!!!! Excellent! He's 9th grade, but still I agree... he should be writing much more. This gives me... ammunition. ;) Thank you. :001_smile: I'm all :bigear: if anyone else wants to comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 How much writing has he done before and with how much help? I just really started writing with my 4th grader. Sometimes I will read her something and she will dictate a paragraph to me and then copy it the next day. Sometimes she takes notes one day, writes another, edits it another, and copies it another. My goal for her this year is to be able to write a good paragraph by herself in one day. I'm not sure we'll make it, but that is the goal. In 6th grade, I will ( did with older boys) start writing papers. I started with 3 paragraph papers and worked up to 5. I had to help them brainstorm, outline, etc. at first. Now they can do it on there own. Here is a paper middle child wrote last year in 8th grade. It still needed some work, but you can't fix everything at once. He wrote it in the middle of 8th grade. He has gotten better at making longer body paragraphs now. However, we are still working on how to write introductions and conclusions. The Union army dejectedly walked down the long road to Washington D.C. their uniforms torn and mud splattered all over their bodies. A Confederate army that was supposed to have no chance had routed them. It was the year of 1861, the year the Civil war started. The first battle of Manassas had given the South morale; it foreshadowed that it would not be a short war, and proved that the Southern generals were more daring. Before the Battle of first Manassas, both sides felt they would whip the other side. Both armies were green, and McDowell, the commander of the Union forces, was hesitant to attack. The Union forces outnumbered the Southern forces, but after the Confederates won, they beloved they could whip the Union repeatedly. The Confederate morale soar sky-high. The First Battle of Manassas foreshadowed that it would not be a short war. The Union thought the war would be over in no time. Lincoln had said the South would be back in the Union in no time. Before the battle, people from the North frolicked to get a good view of the battle, as they believed to see gallant Union forces spank the Confederates into submission. However, they would see what war was like, filled with terror. It would not be a short war. One of the reasons the Confederates won was because their generals were more daring. When McDowell had reached Manassas Junction, he took 2 to 3 days to plan. Jackson got the nickname for standing strong, and he took chances. Perhaps if the Union generals were more daring, the y might have one, and changed the fate of the war. The people who had witnessed Manassas thought they had seen terror, it had just begun. It would last four long years, filled with blood. Soon the people would long for it to be over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 How much writing has he done before and with how much help? He's done a lot of creative writing, but only a moderate amount of academic writing. I was incubating babies the last couple of years so didn't stay on the ball as I should have. When I spoke to ds about this paper, he commented that he thought I wanted a paragraph., otherwise he would have written a better outline, and done more research. :glare: I let ds know that 1-2 pages now means 5-10 paragraphs. :lol: We both needed a more exact definition than 1-2 pages. Thank you for the explaination of how you teach writing. That does help. :001_smile: :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 :001_smile: That is what I wondered... I figured he knew more than he thought. Unfortunately, much of the failure of my children can be linked to my lack of specific instructions and/or checking up on what they have done... Sigh.. it never ends!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 That is what I wondered... I figured he knew more than he thought. Unfortunately, much of the failure of my children can be linked to my lack of specific instructions and/or checking up on what they have done... Sigh.. it never ends!!! No, it never ends. Thank you for all the time you've spent helping me verbalize what was missing in ds's writing assignments. It's helped me set our writing goals for the next semester. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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