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Why did this woman get angry with me?


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One of Husband's former bosses misheard my name as 'Lauren'. It's not my name and (apologies to Laurens) I don't like it. I didn't correct him early on, then it became too embarrassing to correct him later. He called me 'Lauren' for five years, until Husband changed jobs. I had to cope with the consequences of my lack of assertiveness.

 

Laura

 

This happened to me. An older man at church called me Rachel and I didn't correct him because I didn't want to make him feel badly that he'd gotten my name wrong and then I couldn't correct him because I'd let it go and it went on a really long time. He calls me by my right name now but I don't know how he figured it out because I didn't say anything. Prolly his dw. :D

I could use a bit more assertiveness but I don't think I'll let that slip by me again.

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I'm going to start a thread titled "What Nicknames Does Your Family Use for Circumcision?" and beat them both.

 

Let me know when you start it and I'll be all over it. I'll make sure to post something that people will vehemently disagree with, even if I don't really mean it, and then on about page 25, I'll say I made it up and it was nothing more than an "object lesson."

 

And if things start to slow down, people can start posting funny semi-nude male celebrity photos with cool captions. :D

 

(Chucki -- 26 pages and counting! And it seemed like such a simple, harmless little question at first...;))

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Are we still talking about this?

 

If I were the other mom, and my kid were the other kid...

 

A. I would be SO thrilled that my kid was making friends with your kid, there is NO WAY I would discourage him by correcting him on the nickname. (ETA: OK, I probably could find a way to bring it up. Later. Carefully, though, as to not scare him away from the enormous event of having reached out to another kid.)

 

B. There's no way I, myself, could remember your kid's name, much less her nickname.

 

C. There's no way I, myself, could remember that you were the mom of which kid, and I would feel bad that obviously this was so important to you and I wasn't going to be able to follow through on it.

 

D. I would think you must have a life not nearly as chaotic as mine that you needed to straighten out this small detail. (ETA: Not that your child's name is a small detail, but what I -- a stranger whom you might never see again -- think your child's name is is a small detail.)

 

E. I would not have thought poorly of you or reacted unkindly; and I would have complied to whatever extent I could; but I would not have empathized with your concern either.

 

I had a friend in high school named Lois, and I called her Soup. Another friend was named Rebecca, and I called her Reject. Another friend was named Bobbie, and I called her Obed. Another friend was named Cindy, and I called her Meredith. Another friend was named Cindy, and I called her Nin. Another friend was named Theresa, and I called her Tree. Another friend was named Joy, and I called her Ju. Another friend was named Debbie, and I called her Dippie. Judy, I called Jude. Greg, I called Gregor. Robby was Rabbi. Ben was Benji. Mike was Mikey. Tom was Fred . . .

Edited by Cindyg
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I think the problem here is some ya'll think too much.

 

So a mom says please use dc's actual name.

 

Big whoop.

 

One, it IS her daughter.

Two, it IS her daughter's name.

Three, no big deal.

 

I suppose I could think her weird, but if I avoided everyone that acts weird - I'd need to live on a deserted island.

 

I suppose I could be offended, but on the scale of offensive on a typical day, a mother asking someone to call her daughter by her actual name, would not even hit my radar. I can think of four things more offensive than that that has already happened to me this very morning. And I didn't get worked up about those either.

 

Again, the problem is easily resolved if people could manage to scrape enough manners together to call people by the name they are introduced with when meeting.

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I think the problem here is some ya'll think too much.

 

So a mom says please use dc's actual name.

 

Big whoop.

 

One, it IS her daughter.

Two, it IS her daughter's name.

Three, no big deal.

 

I suppose I could think her weird, but if I avoided everyone that acts weird - I'd need to live on a deserted island.

 

I suppose I could be offended, but on the scale of offensive on a typical day, a mother asking someone to call her daughter by her actual name, would not even hit my radar. I can think of four things more offensive than that that has already happened to me this very morning. And I didn't get worked up about those either.

 

Again, the problem is easily resolved if people could manage to scrape enough manners together to call people by the name they are introduced with when meeting.

 

I came here looking for kilt pics, but this, Martha, is absolutely the best summary. I vote for the thread to be locked on that (and my post deleted!).

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Let me know when you start it and I'll be all over it. I'll make sure to post something that people will vehemently disagree with, even if I don't really mean it, and then on about page 25, I'll say I made it up and it was nothing more than an "object lesson."

 

And if things start to slow down, people can start posting funny semi-nude male celebrity photos with cool captions. :D

 

(Chucki -- 26 pages and counting! And it seemed like such a simple, harmless little question at first...;))

Whoda thunk it!

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Are we still talking about this?

 

If I were the other mom, and my kid were the other kid...

 

A. I would be SO thrilled that my kid was making friends with your kid, there is NO WAY I would discourage him by correcting him on the nickname. (ETA: OK, I probably could find a way to bring it up. Later. Carefully, though, as to not scare him away from the enormous event of having reached out to another kid.)

 

B. There's no way I, myself, could remember your kid's name, much less her nickname.

 

C. There's no way I, myself, could remember that you were the mom of which kid, and I would feel bad that obviously this was so important to you and I wasn't going to be able to follow through on it.

 

D. I would think you must have a life not nearly as chaotic as mine that you needed to straighten out this small detail. (ETA: Not that your child's name is a small detail, but what I -- a stranger whom you might never see again -- think your child's name is is a small detail.)

 

E. I would not have thought poorly of you or reacted unkindly; and I would have complied to whatever extent I could; but I would not have empathized with your concern either.

 

I had a friend in high school named Lois, and I called her Soup. Another friend was named Rebecca, and I called her Reject. Another friend was named Bobbie, and I called her Obed. Another friend was named Cindy, and I called her Meredith. Another friend was named Cindy, and I called her Nin. Another friend was named Theresa, and I called her Tree. Another friend was named Joy, and I called her Ju. Another friend was named Debbie, and I called her Dippie. Judy, I called Jude. Greg, I called Gregor. Robby was Rabbi. Ben was Benji. Mike was Mikey. Tom was Fred . . .

Just to be clear. If this other kid had come up with some kind of cutsie nickname I'd be okay with it. I mean, seriously, a grown woman who introduces herself as Chuck shouldn't have a problem with cute nicknames. If this kid has been calling my kid Bubbles I'd not have said a word.

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I think the problem here is some ya'll think too much.

 

So a mom says please use dc's actual name.

 

Big whoop.

 

One, it IS her daughter.

Two, it IS her daughter's name.

Three, no big deal.

 

I suppose I could think her weird, but if I avoided everyone that acts weird - I'd need to live on a deserted island.

 

I suppose I could be offended, but on the scale of offensive on a typical day, a mother asking someone to call her daughter by her actual name, would not even hit my radar. I can think of four things more offensive than that that has already happened to me this very morning. And I didn't get worked up about those either.

 

Again, the problem is easily resolved if people could manage to scrape enough manners together to call people by the name they are introduced with when meeting.

Nicely said. Thank you.

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I think the problem here is some ya'll think too much.

 

So a mom says please use dc's actual name.

 

Big whoop.

 

One, it IS her daughter.

Two, it IS her daughter's name.

Three, no big deal.

 

I suppose I could think her weird, but if I avoided everyone that acts weird - I'd need to live on a deserted island.

 

I suppose I could be offended, but on the scale of offensive on a typical day, a mother asking someone to call her daughter by her actual name, would not even hit my radar. I can think of four things more offensive than that that has already happened to me this very morning. And I didn't get worked up about those either.

 

Again, the problem is easily resolved if people could manage to scrape enough manners together to call people by the name they are introduced with when meeting.

 

I've been thinking about this and I'm now realizing (given the number of people who think the OP's actions were offensive) that I must be offending people left and right---and yet my friends and acquaintances are still talking to me. I had no idea how easy it is to offend. The responses in this thread surprised me. (And, I have to say, they really offended me:lol:)

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I've been thinking about this and I'm now realizing (given the number of people who think the OP's actions were offensive) that I must be offending people left and right---and yet my friends and acquaintances are still talking to me. I had no idea how easy it is to offend. The responses in this thread surprised me. (And, I have to say, they really offended me:lol:)

 

No kidding, right?

 

I'm a bit nervous about going to the post office and the library today. I'm not sure I can make either without offending someone!

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I've been thinking about this and I'm now realizing (given the number of people who think the OP's actions were offensive) that I must be offending people left and right---and yet my friends and acquaintances are still talking to me. I had no idea how easy it is to offend. The responses in this thread surprised me. (And, I have to say, they really offended me:lol:)

Seriously. Must be why I've never been very popular. I suppose I'm pretty offensive in my weirdness. :D

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Wait! The thread needs a recipe to qualify for mega-thread status. I've done this one a few times on meatless evenings.

 

Linguini with Roasted Asparagus and Almond Pesto

Kosher salt

3/4 lb. asparagus, trimmed

2 cups grape tomatoes

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 cup sliced almonds

1/4 cup fresh basil leaves

2 Tbs. finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

1 lb. dried linguine

Freshly ground black pepper

 

Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and heat the oven to 425°F. Bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil over high heat.

 

Arrange the asparagus in a single layer on one half of a large rimmed baking sheet. Arrange the tomatoes on the other half of the sheet. Drizzle both with 1 Tbs. of the oil, season with 1/4 tsp. salt, and toss to coat. Roast on the top rack until the tomatoes have collapsed and the asparagus are bright green, about 20 minutes.

 

While the vegetables roast, put the almonds on another rimmed baking sheet and toast on the bottom rack, stirring occasionally, until fragrant and lightly browned, 10 to 12 minutes.

 

Reserve 1 heaping Tbs. of the almonds for garnish and put the remaining almonds in a food processor. Remove the tips from the asparagus and set aside. Roughly chop the remaining asparagus and add to the food processor along with the basil, cheese, 1/2 tsp. salt, and the remaining 3 Tbs. olive oil. Pulse until a coarse paste forms, about 10 seconds. Season to taste with salt and pepper and transfer to a large serving bowl.

 

Cook the linguine in the boiling water according to package directions until al dente. Drain the pasta and reserve 1/2 cup of the pasta cooking water. Add the pasta to the pesto and toss to coat. If necessary, add some or all of the reserved cooking water to loosen the pesto to a saucy consistency. Garnish with the tomatoes, asparagus tips, and reserved almonds, and serve.

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Wait! The thread needs a recipe to qualify for mega-thread status. I've done this one a few times on meatless evenings.

 

Linguini with Roasted Asparagus and Almond Pesto

Kosher salt

3/4 lb. asparagus, trimmed

2 cups grape tomatoes

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 cup sliced almonds

1/4 cup fresh basil leaves

2 Tbs. finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

1 lb. dried linguine

Freshly ground black pepper

 

Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and heat the oven to 425°F. Bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil over high heat.

 

Arrange the asparagus in a single layer on one half of a large rimmed baking sheet. Arrange the tomatoes on the other half of the sheet. Drizzle both with 1 Tbs. of the oil, season with 1/4 tsp. salt, and toss to coat. Roast on the top rack until the tomatoes have collapsed and the asparagus are bright green, about 20 minutes.

 

While the vegetables roast, put the almonds on another rimmed baking sheet and toast on the bottom rack, stirring occasionally, until fragrant and lightly browned, 10 to 12 minutes.

 

Reserve 1 heaping Tbs. of the almonds for garnish and put the remaining almonds in a food processor. Remove the tips from the asparagus and set aside. Roughly chop the remaining asparagus and add to the food processor along with the basil, cheese, 1/2 tsp. salt, and the remaining 3 Tbs. olive oil. Pulse until a coarse paste forms, about 10 seconds. Season to taste with salt and pepper and transfer to a large serving bowl.

 

Cook the linguine in the boiling water according to package directions until al dente. Drain the pasta and reserve 1/2 cup of the pasta cooking water. Add the pasta to the pesto and toss to coat. If necessary, add some or all of the reserved cooking water to loosen the pesto to a saucy consistency. Garnish with the tomatoes, asparagus tips, and reserved almonds, and serve.

 

Yum.

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