What advice would you give someone who's about to start a business?

[*Inna*]

My husband is seriously considering starting his own business.

 

What advice would you give ME from your experience on how to survive the first couple of years. Ways to support him, money management tips, anything. :bigear:

 

TIA!:001_smile:

 

 

I'm scared of change it will bring to our family.

[milovany]

See if there's a Nx Level course in your area. It's a basics course for entrepreneurs, but goes into a lot of detail with a ton of practical application. The goal is for someone to have their business plan written by the end of the course, and the lessons walk you through the steps for this.

[*Inna*]

Oh, thank you! I'll look into that.

 

He has an appointment with a financial adviser next week when they will discuss the business plan etc., but I'm not sure at what extent.

[Mrs Mungo]

The Small Business Administration offers classes and tons of free resources on their website.

[OrganicAnn]

I would make sure you understand the financial side/the numbers/break even, also laws, rules and regulations governing business and finally taxes. I think many people focus on every other more fun aspects and ignore these aspects. So if you want to sell cookies, you might be looking at recipes, designing packaging, coming up with cutsey names, etc. When the regulations on commercial kitchens, how often to report and pay sales tax and how many cookie sells would you need to breakeven (ie cover your costs) are overlooked. We have looked a lots of business ideas. I have a background if finance, so I will look calculate the numbers, do projections, etc. So often the numbers just don't work.

[Paintedlady]

We just entered our 3rd year of business and are finally beginning to hit our stride with what "normal" life looks like today vs. before the business. Aside from the very practical issues already raised, the best piece of advice I can give is to communicate a lot.

 

Although our business had been doing very well, I felt resentful about it b/c of the time it took away from our family. I never knew what dh's schedule would be, and during his busiest season we almost never saw him. I had to walk a very fine line of expressing my frustration without making him feel guilty while out trying to build the business. It was (sometimes still is) quite the dance--trying to be effective without causing a war between us.

 

One other thing is being okay with any risks involved. Our business required no start up capital, overhead, or loans, so there was no financial risk involved, which helped me feel better about other sacrifices we were making. I can imagine if you are taking a financial risk it would only up the tension and amplify even small problems. Make sure you can take those risks without being overly stressed by them.

 

Good luck!

[gardenmom5]

:grouphug: btdt -

 

instead of focusing on the "now", watch the overall trend. remember the first year or so can be horrible. if it is not *absolutely* necessary, don't buy it. if it is, consider substitutes/thrift-stores/doing without. It's amazing how many things we think are necessary for everyday life, aren't.

 

but again, to keep your spirits up, focus on the overall trendand be willing to change things if needed, . some days/weeks/months/ will be good, and other's not so much. we've finally reached the point of making more income than he ever did working for someone else - despite all the negative effects of new government regulations. it took us a few years.

 

it was really stressful on our relationship, but we held on and are so glad we did.

[JennifersLost]

I lived through dh starting a business, and now he's lived through me starting a business.

 

It is hard - know what you are getting into before you get into it. Here are my tips:

 

Be ready to play devil's advocate - if possible - Starting a business is lonely and you might be the only one looking over dh's shoulder and spotting a problem with what he's doing/planning to do. There was a project my dh took on early on in his business that I just "knew" wasn't going to work but I was afraid to voice my opinion - what did I know about his business? I could have saved him months of work if I had. This requires a sophisticated level of communication between you and your husband, however. You both have to solidly believe that the other one loves you and is trying to help rather than criticize. In other words, you can be a sounding board he can try ideas out on. Don't tell him what to do - just bring up things to think about.

 

Be prepared to be a single parent and develop your own social life. I have never heard of anyone in a startup business who hasn't worked nearly 24/7 for the first 2 - 5 years. You will be single parenting. You will have to cultivate a social life on your own. If you can completely "own" that thought and be okay with it, you can save your marriage before trouble arises. If you are going to resent the time he'll need to put into it, please be up front about it now. Both my husband and I have gone through the "single parent"/"alone" phase while the other one started their business and it is both tough and lonely. Make sure you have friend and activities, that you can swap babysitting and "get out" on your own once in awhile, that you exercise and have some fun, even if your husband isn't around.

 

Discuss an exit strategy with your dh before he starts. How much money are you willing to invest? How much time? At what point would he quit and return to work? This is all easier to discuss BEFORE he gets going.

 

Don't quit right before the miracle. There will be ups and downs and there may be some really heavy downs. Last year at this time I was ready to quit - I was going to finish the projects on my plate and pull the plug. I hung in there a little more and this year I may earn enough to support our whole family by myself.

 

Know your budget and stick to it. Try to make your financial situation bullet-proof One reason I was able to stick with things last year when it all got tough was because we live on such a small budget and are so conservative with money it was okay for me to fail. That also helped me be in a great negotiation stance - I could walk away from things that didn't suit me.

 

Either get on board all the way, or don't get on board at all. Then build your dh up! When you've made your decision, stick with it. If you need to vent, do so in your journal, then burn the pages. Don't undercut your dh by bad-talking him to friends or the greater world. Think about your marriage vows and then apply them to him starting a business. If you tell him, "go ahead", then you have vowed to go through the stress, the loneliness, the ups and downs with him, because you are hoping to go through the success and good times with him, too, right?

 

HTH!

[MHowell]

Don't. :lol: j/k

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Small Business Administration offers classes and tons of free resources on their website.

 

:iagree: I went to meetings there A LOT in the beginning. I even went once just to have someone else tell me it would be okay. I felt like were sinking. We weren't, and now we are very stable. Take it all a day at a time but keep your eye on the bigger picture.

[*Inna*]

Thank you so much for the input!

 

Another question. What about the health insurance?

[JumpyTheFrog]

Have a six month emergency fund in place before quitting any old jobs (even more would be better).

 

Clark Howard recommends contacting SCORE, Service Corp of Retired Executives, for free advice.

 

Find a good accountant or bookkeeper to make sure he's keeping good records from the start and to help choose the appropriate business structure.

[OrganicAnn]

I know a lot of people where one spouse has a part time job that provides decent health insurance. These types of jobs are difficult to find, but they exist (may not in your area, but I do know they exist). Also check out if your state has some type of insurance group.

[justamouse]

I lived through dh starting a business, and now he's lived through me starting a business.

 

It is hard - know what you are getting into before you get into it. Here are my tips:

 

Be ready to play devil's advocate - if possible - Starting a business is lonely and you might be the only one looking over dh's shoulder and spotting a problem with what he's doing/planning to do. There was a project my dh took on early on in his business that I just "knew" wasn't going to work but I was afraid to voice my opinion - what did I know about his business? I could have saved him months of work if I had. This requires a sophisticated level of communication between you and your husband, however. You both have to solidly believe that the other one loves you and is trying to help rather than criticize. In other words, you can be a sounding board he can try ideas out on. Don't tell him what to do - just bring up things to think about.

 

Be prepared to be a single parent and develop your own social life. I have never heard of anyone in a startup business who hasn't worked nearly 24/7 for the first 2 - 5 years. You will be single parenting. You will have to cultivate a social life on your own. If you can completely "own" that thought and be okay with it, you can save your marriage before trouble arises. If you are going to resent the time he'll need to put into it, please be up front about it now. Both my husband and I have gone through the "single parent"/"alone" phase while the other one started their business and it is both tough and lonely. Make sure you have friend and activities, that you can swap babysitting and "get out" on your own once in awhile, that you exercise and have some fun, even if your husband isn't around.

 

Discuss an exit strategy with your dh before he starts. How much money are you willing to invest? How much time? At what point would he quit and return to work? This is all easier to discuss BEFORE he gets going.

 

Don't quit right before the miracle. There will be ups and downs and there may be some really heavy downs. Last year at this time I was ready to quit - I was going to finish the projects on my plate and pull the plug. I hung in there a little more and this year I may earn enough to support our whole family by myself.

 

Know your budget and stick to it. Try to make your financial situation bullet-proof One reason I was able to stick with things last year when it all got tough was because we live on such a small budget and are so conservative with money it was okay for me to fail. That also helped me be in a great negotiation stance - I could walk away from things that didn't suit me.

 

Either get on board all the way, or don't get on board at all. Then build your dh up! When you've made your decision, stick with it. If you need to vent, do so in your journal, then burn the pages. Don't undercut your dh by bad-talking him to friends or the greater world. Think about your marriage vows and then apply them to him starting a business. If you tell him, "go ahead", then you have vowed to go through the stress, the loneliness, the ups and downs with him, because you are hoping to go through the success and good times with him, too, right?

 

HTH!

:iagree:

 

10 years later and it's the best thing we ever did. But what Jenn said, 1000000 %

 

Be ready to fail and make sure you don't.

 

My biggest piece of advice. DO NOT COMPLAIN. This is what you're signing up for, he/you are going to be workingworkingworking and saying no to everyone and your life is going to be turned upside down. Get IN the foxhole with him. Do not ***** about how he's not home to take care of the kids and how you're a single parent. That's just MORE stress on him. And, when you feel like complaining, think about the military moms who give up their husbands for months, years, and sometimes forever, then take a deep breath and keep bailing water. Because when the paycheck starts coming in, YOU'RE going to be benefiting, too.

 

Make the family unit a priority. When he/you have time off, shut the blinds, and relax together. Make home his resting place, and his sanctuary because he may only get 12 hours a week of rest for the next few years and if you put demands on that time (spending it out with friends/family) he's going to burn out and so will you. So, rest. Reconnect as a family.

 

Majorly, don't quit before the miracle. Most people quit right before they get to the finish line. Get back up and keep running.

 

We just went without health insurance for years until we could afford it.

Edited January 15, 2012 by justamouse

[StephanieZ]

Yep, it will change everything.

 

Be prepared to work harder than you ever imagined.

 

Be prepared to solo-parent most of the time.

 

Be prepared to compromise on your "standards" of home-cleanliness/meal fanciness/etc as you'll need to focus your limited time on stuff that REALLY matters.

 

It gets easier around the 3rd year IME.

 

If you can afford to hire help, do so. Hire cleaning help at least (if possible) so that dh can focus his limited home time of kids and you, but you won't have to be a house-slave either.

 

Don't spend any of the money until at least 6 months in (beyond basic living expenses). Be sure you understand cash flow and budgeting. NEVER let anyone else sign your checks or take your deposits to the bank. Be sure to unerstand your own accounts, and review them daily.

 

Hang in there.

[elegantlion]

Know what role you will play in the business. Are you going to be the sounding board? Do the books?

 

Dh was a self-employed carpenter until recently. We operated best if I was the emotional support and did not deal with clients or touch the books, at least if we wanted to stay married. ;)

 

the construction industry is very cyclical and I never got used to the instability, and we've been married 19 years.

 

Depending upon the business you may get phone calls at all hours. Dh's phone always rang during dinner. It's so nice now that he can come home and be home and not think about work.

 

There are some good things:

 

Kids may have a better understanding of what dh does. Ds went to work with dh several times over the years. Now that dh has taken a job we can't even visit him during working hours, so ds will probably never see what he does now.

 

As much time as it takes, there can be a lot of flexibility once it's running smoothly. One year we had lunch as our main family meal because dh could come home for lunch and generally worked late.

 

One of my favorite sayings is: Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

[*Inna*]

Know what role you will play in the business. Are you going to be the sounding board? Do the books?

 

I'll be the sounding board and provide emotional support. ;) I thought of taking calls/bookkeeping, but we both think it would put a strain on our marriage.

 

One of my favorite sayings is: Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

This is great! :001_smile:

 

He's already working part-time (on top of his full-time job) in the field. He gets plenty of calls when he advertises, so he thinks to do it full-time wouldn't be a problem.

 

He works a lot. Some days he's gone 8am to 6pm, eats dinner, changes his clothes and goes to a music gig until midnight. I'm used to single parenting/running household.

[*Inna*]

Don't spend any of the money until at least 6 months in (beyond basic living expenses). Be sure you understand cash flow and budgeting. NEVER let anyone else sign your checks or take your deposits to the bank. Be sure to unerstand your own accounts, and review them daily.

 

Hang in there.

Thank you.

[*Inna*]

 

My biggest piece of advice. DO NOT COMPLAIN.

I'm slowly learning this. :tongue_smilie:

[scrapbabe]

I lived through dh starting a business, and now he's lived through me starting a business.

 

It is hard - know what you are getting into before you get into it. Here are my tips:

 

Be ready to play devil's advocate - if possible - Starting a business is lonely and you might be the only one looking over dh's shoulder and spotting a problem with what he's doing/planning to do. There was a project my dh took on early on in his business that I just "knew" wasn't going to work but I was afraid to voice my opinion - what did I know about his business? I could have saved him months of work if I had. This requires a sophisticated level of communication between you and your husband, however. You both have to solidly believe that the other one loves you and is trying to help rather than criticize. In other words, you can be a sounding board he can try ideas out on. Don't tell him what to do - just bring up things to think about.

 

Be prepared to be a single parent and develop your own social life. I have never heard of anyone in a startup business who hasn't worked nearly 24/7 for the first 2 - 5 years. You will be single parenting. You will have to cultivate a social life on your own. If you can completely "own" that thought and be okay with it, you can save your marriage before trouble arises. If you are going to resent the time he'll need to put into it, please be up front about it now. Both my husband and I have gone through the "single parent"/"alone" phase while the other one started their business and it is both tough and lonely. Make sure you have friend and activities, that you can swap babysitting and "get out" on your own once in awhile, that you exercise and have some fun, even if your husband isn't around.

 

Discuss an exit strategy with your dh before he starts. How much money are you willing to invest? How much time? At what point would he quit and return to work? This is all easier to discuss BEFORE he gets going.

 

Don't quit right before the miracle. There will be ups and downs and there may be some really heavy downs. Last year at this time I was ready to quit - I was going to finish the projects on my plate and pull the plug. I hung in there a little more and this year I may earn enough to support our whole family by myself.

 

Know your budget and stick to it. Try to make your financial situation bullet-proof One reason I was able to stick with things last year when it all got tough was because we live on such a small budget and are so conservative with money it was okay for me to fail. That also helped me be in a great negotiation stance - I could walk away from things that didn't suit me.

 

Either get on board all the way, or don't get on board at all. Then build your dh up! When you've made your decision, stick with it. If you need to vent, do so in your journal, then burn the pages. Don't undercut your dh by bad-talking him to friends or the greater world. Think about your marriage vows and then apply them to him starting a business. If you tell him, "go ahead", then you have vowed to go through the stress, the loneliness, the ups and downs with him, because you are hoping to go through the success and good times with him, too, right?

 

HTH!

:iagree: Great advice! My first thought when someone asks about starting a business is to say "RUN...RUN as fast as you can and don't look back"!:lol: But seriously, the above advice is excellent. Also, discuss whether or not you are going to have to help him build the business. I had NO idea my husband would need me so much. The first two years I was working fulltime with him to get the business off the ground. We couldn't afford to pay employees, so I did all the marketing and the secretarial work. So discuss who will be doing what. Will he need you to work too? Or does he have a plan to hire people?

Most of all, don't let it drive you apart. We have a solid marriage, but man I resented him somedays and wanted to the pull the plug so many times. Make sure you're both willing to work hard on your relationship through it all.

 

Good luck!