Liz CA Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 (edited) I mean, could your pastor actually say anything about your "spiritual walk"? Those of you whose dh is your pastor - never mind. :D This came up because of a volunteer application. They wanted references to this end and asked for the pastor's contact info. We have (before our move) attended a church with 150+ congregation and the church we are attending now (since June of 2011) has about the same number from what I can tell. The pastor of our previous church knows us by face and name but would not be able to say much other than we attend services. Small group leaders (who are not pastors) would know more about us. Edited January 10, 2012 by Liz CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Oh, yes. My minister knows me (or at least thinks she does). Let's just say I wouldn't use her as a reference for anything I cared about doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Nope, my son yes, but not me really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 You know, I was just wondering this, after my friend was telling me about the Oprah interview with Joel Osteen or whatever his name is. She said he's a college dropout with no seminary training who heads up some megachurch in TX. Houston, maybe? Anyway she was incredulous that there are 16,000 members. I just can't wrap my head around that. I don't think "mega" is an appropriate prefix-- what's bigger than "mega?" astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyagain Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yes, our pastor knows me pretty well. We have a congregation of 100-125. Maybe you could add your small group leader's contact info as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I wish my pastor knew me a little less :lol:. Yes, my pastor knows dh and I quite well. Our church is of the smaller variety. Our pastor has had some health issues in the last couple of years, and dh and I are the people he often turns to with projects or problems that need attention. As a result, we have spent a good amount of time with him. He stays pretty involved, though, with a lot of the people in the church. He definitely notices who is in attendance and who is not. Many times the pastor will approach me and say "so & so is not here again, why don't you give her a call and see how she's doing." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2jjka Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yes and no. We go to a fairly large church and have 4 pastors. Two of them are pretty familiar with - One has a daughter that babysat for us regularly, and we know their family quite well, and the other we have taken small-group Bible studies with, so he knows us pretty well too. The third pastor I would have say no, as I haven't has as much interaction with him. (He is more involved in the our church's school.) And the fourth pastor mostly ministers to prisoners, hospitalized members, and shut-ins; I barely know him at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB in NJ Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yes, he does. Our church is relatively small (125-150), but even at that, our Pastor can't know each individual's walk as well as he'd like to. We have small group leaders (dh being one) who would be in a better position to answer those questions about someone in their group than our Pastor would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetkvass Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Does a priest count? I'd say my priest does to a decent extent. But it seems to me that a pastor and or priest can only know as much you reveal to them, right? That really is prohibitive the larger the church or parish. My priest knows me fairly well. But I go to confession to him. I talk to him outside confession regarding things going on in my life that I need advice over. He spends a certain amount of time with us and has brought me communion when I was in the hospital with my children etc. But as for my spiritual walk it's still a matter of how much I reveal what's in my heart. It seems sort of a weird thing to ask for on a volunteer application. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yep, husband and I went out to dinner with my pastor and his wife a couple of weeks ago. We sat there for nearly 4 hours talking. We haven't been out to dinner with any adults in years. It was so much fun. My husband and I have been to Ethiopia with this pastor as well. I e-mail him my writings as well that he uses in the church newspapers and such. In fact, he used something I've been struggling with in this latest sermon. ( No release of personal info or anything like that. Just an issue that a lot of people are facing in my church. ) So yes, he knows me and my family pretty well. We are a church of 250 or so that attend every week. ( Memership is supposedly over 1,000) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Dh is a pastor. He's just one man, so no, he doesn't know everyone in our church intimately, but if someone is at the level of being a regular volunteer (so more than just an attendee) he has probably had at least one sit down with them. When asked for a reference about someone he doesn't know well, he will have a conversation with a leader who does know that person well. If no leader knows the person, then he won't give a reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 (edited) Aw, Liz, you're no fun. I wanted to say that my pastor knows me since I sleep with him!:D Re. spiritual state - my dh knows the people in our small church as well as they want him to know them. He might know certain gifts if they are active in using them, but I don't know that he would "go there" as far as trying to rank their spiritual maturity. I say that because we went to an abusive small church where the pastor truly did try to presume exactly where you were spiritually at any given moment. It was not good. Edited January 10, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle pesky typos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 My pastor knows me very well and can attest to my spiritual walk. But I can say this is a first in my life and one of the reasons we stay. He knows us and can encourage us unlike anyone else. But in your case list it but also list your small group leaders and just say they would know your spiritual walk more. Let the people choosing to call who they want to call. it's possible the pastor would refer them to the small group leader anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Our church is about 1000 people, so I don't expect our lead pastor to me extremely well. However, I would have to say "yes, sort of". Does he know the depth of my walk and my struggles, no, but he does know how I came to Christ, my role in the church (I serve and lead a small group), and that his wife baptized me (she and I are good friends). We've hung out with him at birthday parties, summer events, retreats, etc, but I'm not one of his go-to friends if that makes sense, and we don't talk Bible/Christ when we are together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WIS0320 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 No, not yet. We just had a new priest assigned to our parish in October. Our parish has 3900 (large) families. The poor man is still just trying to figure out all the various committees (there are 65ish) and stay on top of things. He's been great about stopping me when he's seen me at the church during the week (homeschool group) and asking me my name or chatting for a minute. But I am sure we could both be standing in line at Target and he would have no idea that I attend his parish! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Only on a very basic level. He knows we are regular attenders. Knows my husband is a school teacher. Knows we homeschool. Knows we tithe regularly, teach Awanas, etc. I don't think he'd have a clue about our actual spiritual life, but he could speak to our character based on our interactions with the church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3peasinWa Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 i would either go ahead & list the small group leader....or call the pastor to let them know you're putting his name down, however, he might want to direct the caller to the small group leader who knows you better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 My bishop is not a close personal friend, and doesn't know all the intimate details of my life, but he does certainly know me well enough to give an accurate general recommendation. He knows my husband slightly better, just because they have interacted more regularly. I knew our previous bishop a little better and am friends with his wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Aw, Liz, you're no fun. I wanted to say that my pastor knows me since I sleep with him!:D Re. spiritual state - my dh knows the people in our small church as well as they want him to know them. He might know certain gifts if they are active in using them, but I don't know that he would "go there" as far as trying to rank their spiritual maturity. I say that because we went to an abusive small church where the pastor truly did try to presume exactly where you were spiritually at any given moment. It was not good. I have come to know you (and a few others) well enough which is why put the disclaimer in. :lol: I, too, think it would be very presumptuous to judge anyone's spiritual state. Perhaps it was oddly worded on this application. Would be interesting to know what response they get from the pastor if they do indeed contact him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 At our first church, the senior pastor probably only knew me because of my volunteering. He wasn't/isn't social at.all. The other pastors would've been the names I'd have chosen to put down on an application. At our last church, the pastor tried but he was also hard to converse with as he was so far above us intellectually, he had a hard time just being a regular person. This past year, we decided to leave our church for Orthodoxy and the priests have made it abundantly clear that they want to know us. I cannot speak enough positive things about them all. They're truly wonderful men who desire to know their flock personally. I wouldn't hesitate to put their names down on an application. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mereminerals Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Our pastor knows us pretty well, but that has more to do with the fact that dh is a deacon. The pastor's wife also used to be my mentor when I was in a mentoring program at the church. Our church is a good size (1000+ membership) and our pastor strives really hard to know each person's name, but there is no way he could attest for where we are all at in our spiritual walk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Nope. I know the children's minister much better and she does know me at least somewhat. I doubt the minister even knows who I am, though I'm sure he recognizes my kids and may even know their names as they're in the children's choir and are there all the time. I'm just a pew-warmer upstairs. I do miss being in a church like the one where I grew up where I felt like I had a personal connection with the minister. But... oh well. There are other great things about our church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Absolutely. It's a regular part of our faith walk to meet with our pastors (priests) for spiritual counsel and confession. He knows me better than almost anyone and I appreciate having this place outside myself and our home, but within the Church, to go to for guidance/insight in my spiritual walk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 The pastor knows my son very well. He has guided him in his faith for years. DS17 is starting Bible college in the fall to become a pastor. My son and his son are very good friends and my son stays the night at his house often. The pastor of the church my family attends and I are friends, but I do not attend church there. He knows the basics of why (I don't agree with a couple of doctrine topics) but he also knows who I am outside of the faith. For me, he could attest to character, but not my spiritual journey. We have talked for many hours, just not about my faith. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 You know, I was just wondering this, after my friend was telling me about the Oprah interview with Joel Osteen or whatever his name is. She said he's a college dropout with no seminary training who heads up some megachurch in TX. Houston, maybe? Anyway she was incredulous that there are 16,000 members. I just can't wrap my head around that. I don't think "mega" is an appropriate prefix-- what's bigger than "mega?" astrid Astrid, Second Baptist here in Houston is about double that. They fly the pastor from church building to church building via helicopter on Sunday mornings. It is pretty wild. As to the op, my priest's are learning, but I am only willing to let them so deep. This has gotten better since I found out my priest left a certain denomination rather than breech the sanctity of the confessional. Knowing that he was willing to do that has helped be feel a bit safer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I mean, could your pastor actually say anything about your "spiritual walk"? Those of you whose dh is your pastor - never mind. :D This came up because of a volunteer application. They wanted references to this end and asked for the pastor's contact info. We have (before our move) attended a church with 150+ congregation and the church we are attending now (since June of 2011) has about the same number from what I can tell. The pastor of our previous church knows us by face and name but would not be able to say much other than we attend services. Small group leaders (who are not pastors) would know more about us. Yes, my pastor knows me quite well. It's actually part of the Orthodox tradition to have your priest be your spiritual father so he knows a lot about my spiritual walk. We have about 200 people in our parish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Astrid, Second Baptist here in Houston is about double that. They fly the pastor from church building to church building via helicopter on Sunday mornings. It is pretty wild. As to the op, my priest's are learning, but I am only willing to let them so deep. This has gotten better since I found out my priest left a certain denomination rather than breech the sanctity of the confessional. Knowing that he was willing to do that has helped be feel a bit safer. IMHO, that's not a pastor that's a preacher. I honestly think these are two separate roles. Although a pastor who can preach/teach well is a great blessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 For the most part, yes. We have three priests. Each knows a different amount about me and view me in different ways. One is like a father/grandfather and I don't share everything with him, but he loves us and we love him...and his wife cares for us like a grandmother. Another priest and his wife are closer to our age and we will converse on specific topics, especially where the children are involved as he is their confessor. The third priest is head of our parish and my/dh's confessor. He's more in a father role. We ask him for his advice. He knows more of our flaws. He's witnessed a couple of mine (nothing like having a bad day, mommy meltdown, tears, and then the priest knocking on your door...he tried to back out and I told him that if he's going to be my priest and my confessor, then he might as well see me at my worse as well as my best :p ). I can only count two previous pastors that I would be that comfortable with. One was more of a friend. Most I found that I had to keep a certain amount of space and false front with. I found this especially with those whose wives were standoffish from everyone else and weren't "real" or down to earth. I've met very few with wives that were open to me and showed themselves as just themselves...like they are afraid to show any chinks. Those that are able to show their chinks and who they really are, generally seemed to be the people that I could also be more real with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Most definitely. We are in a church of...idk...400ish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 No. He knows our names and area where we volunteer, but nothing else. There is no time to get to know the pastors (and the pastors get to know us) because the church is large. Pastors don't have time for that, so they focus on those in leadership (above our level of leadership) and on those who have counseling needs. Those who attend and serve are pretty much unknown to the pastor except by sight and sometimes name. That sounds bad, but really, he is a great pastor. A large membership just doesn't allow a pastor to get to know everyone personally, even if he wants to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Not at all. Our old pastor did, and I miss him greatly. We are actually spending time at another church lately, and considering transferring membership, in part because due to lack of pastoral communication. Our church is tiny, so I don't think it's due to too many members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Yes he does. We go to a church that has about 300-340 people in attendance during our regular church service and we have other members that are ill/shut-ins/etc. Our pastor stops us and speaks to us nearly every service (we go twice on Sundays and on Wed. nights as well). If one or both of us isn't there, he will mention that he missed us the next time we see him. We have spoken to him numerous times when we needed guidance, and he will typically call or send a card to tell us he is praying. He even asks me regularly about my brother who I asked the church to pray for several months ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Yes. Our Pastor is wonderful. We have a small church so that helps but he just embodies the word "pastor". Truly a shepherd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) Astrid, Second Baptist here in Houston is about double that. They fly the pastor from church building to church building via helicopter on Sunday mornings. Wow! I went to their website and it says they have 58,000 members on 5 campuses! That is amazing. I can't even imagine a church that big. Edited January 11, 2012 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I'd say ours know us pretty well, every year for the past 10 or more years they spend a week at our house hunting. I'm not sure they would know us if not for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) Yep, my priest knows me. He's my confessor, after all! :D I adore him. Edited January 11, 2012 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in OH Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Nope. I would rely on the Children's Pastor and my small group leader for recommendations. I go to a 10,000 member church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. A Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Yes, my priest has known me for almost all of my life. I go to confession to him pretty regularly and he knows all about my spiritual struggles. We attend a parish of about 100+ families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 You know, I was just wondering this, after my friend was telling me about the Oprah interview with Joel Osteen or whatever his name is. She said he's a college dropout with no seminary training who heads up some megachurch in TX. Houston, maybe? Anyway she was incredulous that there are 16,000 members. I just can't wrap my head around that. I don't think "mega" is an appropriate prefix-- what's bigger than "mega?" astrid To my knowledge...i thought his church was much bigger than 16,000. I seriously think its more like 60,000 or something crazy. Anyway...i doubt he gives references regarding spiritual walks, lol. Its insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Well, we go to one of the largest churches in the U.S. (17,000+), and we've only been attending for a year and a half. We have shaken hands with the head pastor, but he doesn't know us. Our neighborhood pastor did know us, got together with dh regularly for coffee, but he just moved away. Our new neighborhood pastor only knows us a little. Prior to this, we attended a 150-200 member church, and our pastor knew us very well. Prior to THAT, we attended a church of about 500 people, and our pastor there also knew us well. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 No, our pastor doesn't know anything about us. We've been going to this church for about eight months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Our pastor knows who we are but I would guess that's about it. Our church runs around 500+ . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecj98 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Yes, he does. In fact, he and his family were here for lunch on Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Our church has about 2000 members. Though the senior pastor doesn't know us really well, one of the associate pastors does. He and his wife are our good friends and he married us and baptized our babies. He has known both of us for over 12 years. Rejoiced with us, prayed for us, cried with us, the whole deal - a real pastor, a treasure. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Our Bishop knows us fairly well. He probably knows DH better than me, since DH's church assignment has them working together for an hour or so each Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 He knows our names, but that's about it. We have upwards of 6000 members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herkey6 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 We belong to a home church...that meets in my home! If everyone comes there about 30 of us (including kids). So yes, my pastor knows me well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 yes! My pastor goes out of his way to learn about everyone. We have 100+ members and growing. He also requires a 5 week membership class where we can learn about the church and he can learn about us. We fill out a paper about our spiritual walk up until present day so he can learn more about us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Yes, we are good friends with the family. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.