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Parenting book rec for my uh...spirited/wild 2 yr old?


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He's feral at times, I swear. He is the energy/trouble/noise level of 3 2 yr olds. I'm not kidding, other people will vouch for that. He will deliberately do something he knows he's not to do. He could level the house in 1 day. He's climbed into the running washer, emptied the fridge, played "crash" with the eggs, smeared maple syrup all over the carpet and tv, screams "WHY MOMMY WHY" whenever I try to redirect him...

 

He's exhausting. Totally. My running joke is homeschooling for the first kid, military school for the second.

 

He's high energy/high need and sensory seeking. I know that, and I've read sensory books. But any sort of discipline or correction does no good. He's a 2 year old bully with his almost 5 yr old brother.

 

I need parenting suggestions, book suggestions, or any ideas of how much sedative to give a 2 yr old.... :lol:

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You've read the sensory books, but have you tried putting a sensory diet in place? Give him water time, crashing time, etc. Do you have The Out of Sync Child Has Fun? There are great ideas in that book.

 

Can you put up an indoor swing? Make an obstacle course? Buy a cheap hammock and let him play.

 

The more you "give in" to his sensory needs, the happier you'll both be.

 

Save the corrections for the dangerous things; no going in the washer, no running in the road, no jumping from the top of the stairs, etc.

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You've read the sensory books, but have you tried putting a sensory diet in place? Give him water time, crashing time, etc. Do you have The Out of Sync Child Has Fun? There are great ideas in that book.

 

Can you put up an indoor swing? Make an obstacle course? Buy a cheap hammock and let him play.

 

The more you "give in" to his sensory needs, the happier you'll both be.

 

Save the corrections for the dangerous things; no going in the washer, no running in the road, no jumping from the top of the stairs, etc.

 

And it's been a while since I read the books, I admit, because DS1 has the opposite sensory issues. The indoor swing is a no go, but we do have an indoor trampoline and large rice box (sand box). And we play with shaving cream before baths, and I let him stamp his body with rubber stamps, play doh, and lay in the matchbox cars...anything I can think of.

 

I'm just trying to find the magic :chillpill: for the sensory seeking strong willed child! :D (who is the reason we are DONE!!)

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Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

 

I read and re-read this one several times when my children were younger.

 

 

This, and The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene.

 

Also a lock for the refrigerator. Seriously. Saved me a lot of eggs when my middle child was 2 (and 3, and 4 . . .)

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Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond

 

:iagree: Seconded. I would be certain that obedience and home authority issues are well-addressed before assigning behavior to sensory issues which is a big catch-all category these days. I'm not interested in starting a dispute about the validity of sensory diagnosis and won't be commenting on it again.

Edited by bookfiend
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We bought a mattress cover that zips up and filled it with pillows. We called it the crash pad. We would bring it into the living room and our ds would jump off the couch onto the crash pad repeatedly until he wore himself out.

 

We also bought one of those small, foldable gymnastics mats and would roll him up in it and "squash" him. And we bought a standing punching bag and gave him boxing gloves. A weighted vest, weighted blanket, A trampoline... Anything that gave him intense sensory input. And start OT early. As soon as possible.

 

And locks on everything. :D

 

Check this website out. It really saved us. http://www.abilitations.com

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ETA: Sorry - just realized you asked only for book suggestions. I'll leave this here, though, in case it's helpful in some way.

 

My 9 year old is a huge sensory seeker. Totally second (and third) all the book suggestions and ideas.

 

What we have used:

Indoor swing

Wrestling with Daddy

Vibrating toys (back massagers and small hand held toys) He'll hold them and get the input he needs.

Ball pit (a small pool filled with playhouse balls)

He loves to be 'smooshed' under a large therapy ball (we roll it up his body giving pressure)

Bear hugs.

Bouncing on the therapy ball.

Weighted blanket

Rolling up in a blanket (we call it 'speedy burrito')

 

An evaluation with an Occupational Therapist might be a good idea. Find one versed in sensory issues. This has been invaluable to us. Things we use with the therapist's input and oversight:

 

Pressure Vest/Weighted Vest ( we use both Benik and Fun and Function)

Brushing Protocol (Wilbarger Method)

Joint Compression

 

I wouldn't use these last three without input from a professional first.

 

He's also had pool therapy with his therapist - great for all over input. Kind of hard in the winter but great in the summer. Don't need a therapist for it - just lots of water :)

 

Some places we get sensory things from:

 

FunandFunction

 

TherapyShoppe

 

BeyondPlay

 

We've found lots of things in regular stores. Think outside the box. People laugh at us shopping - we use the more normal things for the most unusual reasons for ds9.

 

And, of course - :grouphug: for Mom. It's exhausting.

Edited by StillLearning
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Setting limits with your strong willed child by Robert J. MacKenzie is good and The everything Parent's guide to the strong willed child by Carl E Pickhardt. My strong willed one is my dd but she has chilled a lot the last couple of years but was very hard work up until she was around 5.

 

My 3 year old sounds similar in many ways to your 2 year old, crazy energy and can't stand still, he is strong willed but easier to live with than my dd was at the same age and beginning to calm a little now he is nearly 4. The problem I had was that he managed to open all the different types of child locks I could find from about 14 months so locks didn't work to keep him out of stuff. He just sees them as a challenge. We ended up getting slide bolt things for the top of a few doors in the house so I can totally close off a few rooms from him. He has managed to open them occasionally by finding a stick to pull the look open. So we now have to keep anything long and stick-like within the locked rooms.

 

The Out of Sync Child has fun Book is good as others have said, I have used that for my dd who is sensory defensive and dyspraxic.

 

The thing that I found helped my son was giving him practical things to do, he liked to be helpful and that focuses him away from destroying things, so he does cleaning and cooking as much as I can involve him, that sort of thing. And has been doing things like kumon cutting books and their pasting and glueing and maze books for quite a while. Plus involving him in his big sister's work where possible. His little brain works so fast it gives it something to do.

 

Both our kids got big beanbags for christmas and my son spends ages jumping into the beanbag.

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My spirited child gave this book to the dog. :glare:

 

:lol:

 

My youngest is much more spirited than his brothers ever thought about being!

 

I will have to look into the sensory resources shared here. I'm also getting my hands on a copy of Rosemond's "Making the Terrible Twos Terrific" because I remember it being a helpful resource last time around.

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I'm not going to get into the sensory aspect of this discussion. I don't think it does much (if any) good to discipline a 2 year old. I find that I am better served by redirecting behavior and avoiding troublesome situations when possible. I ask myself whether the child in hungry, tired, or uncomfortable and address those issues if they are a problem. Beyond that I do a lot of redirecting, explaining, and cleaning up.

 

My 2yo dumped an entire bottle of olive oil on his bedroom carpet last year. A few weeks later he squirted blue and red food coloring on his carpet. A few weeks later it was an entire tub of cocoa powder. We live in a rental. :001_huh: I am no stranger to those types of messes, I assure you! :001_smile:

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I'll offer some encouragement for the future.

 

My ds (4th child / 3rd son) cured us of any pride in our parenting. Before him, parenting had been an exhausting joy. His preschool years were stressful. He turned on the stove, sampled everything in the bathroom cabinet, banged his head, tore off his clothes in cold weather, ran out the door (sometimes toward traffic), and screamed more that all the others had combined. He climbed onto cabinets and out of his crib before he could walk. He hurt his siblings and slammed his head into mine while I changed his clothes. Often. I prayed for strength and patience and for his safety. I was so stressed out from his tantrums and my fear and compassion when he got hurt.

 

Fast forward a few years: I could not have imagined the relationship we have now.

 

He still has some challenges because of his impulsivity and inattention . . .

 

BUT

 

He is tender-hearted and gentle. He jumps out of bed every morning and runs to hug me. Yesterday I watched him play Barbies with his little sister because he wanted to make her happy (he would have preferred bouncing outside on the trampoline). He goes to school and jumps onto his homework every afternoon because he wants to complete it. His teachers are patient with him (academically) because he is such a sweetheart and they adore him. He is kind to his classmates. He is generally obedient and hardworking. He thanks us constantly for little things most dc don't notice or take for granted. He is quick with affection and compliments.

 

He has changed from being the child who worried us most to the child who gives us the least trouble. He brings us so much joy!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Press on, Mom. I hope things will get easier for you and your precious little ball of energy!

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My dd was like this. She is 19 now and we survived. Raising the Spirited Child was a very helpful book. Lots of physical activity helped. I taught her how to roller blade and ride a bike as soon as was physically able. We also swam, she did swim team, and played indoor soccer in the winter and regular soccer in fall and spring. Playdough and playing with toys in the bathtub (with constant supervision) helped as well. She is very athletic and persistent and accomplishes just about anything she puts her mind to.

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Haha. Would you believe I lost my own thread and had to do a search for it! I will be borrowing the Raising the Spirited Child book from the library and possibly buying it later. Someone else said their child cured them of any parenting pride-uh, yeah. Totally. I used to think kids like this were a parenting/discipline problem! I know that some of it is sensory based on his history, and some of it is just...him. :) We had a fridge lock for about 3 hours until he ripped it off the fridge. He is a very sweet 2 yr old, very sweet. He is just a force to be reckoned with!

 

We are a very attachment minded family. Both our boys were adopted and each have had their own sensory issues directly related to their past history. And I admit, winter is hard for us since we are in the Midwest and it is cold. W need our outside time! :)

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We bought a mattress cover that zips up and filled it with pillows. We called it the crash pad. We would bring it into the living room and our ds would jump off the couch onto the crash pad repeatedly until he wore himself out.

 

We also bought one of those small, foldable gymnastics mats and would roll him up in it and "squash" him. And we bought a standing punching bag and gave him boxing gloves. A weighted vest, weighted blanket, A trampoline... Anything that gave him intense sensory input. And start OT early. As soon as possible.

 

And locks on everything. :D

 

Check this website out. It really saved us. www.abilitations.com

 

 

Oh awesome idea... I may implement this! My ds 3.5 is sensory seeking. He has OT every week. He still is very... energetic... throughout the week.

 

I let him run around naked in the house. I have him wear a backpack when we go out. I make him jump when I can, I make a game of it. Bouncy balls (the kind you sit on, hold and jump) are great. He has a bin full of toys I let him push and pull around. He rakes (using the adult sizes plastic rake, it has more weight so it makes him work more), he mops (or pretends anyway with the mop), he sweeps (well doesn't really do much but the action is what is important). We let him do as much as he is capable at his age by himself.

 

Now while he still has his moments, I can say it is much better. I am not ranting and raving like I used to because I didn't know what to do!

 

No if I could just break the nail biting habit he picked up (another sensory thing)!

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