Joanne Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 DBT is proven, in research, to help with BPD. We used DBT (one written specifically for teens, by Marsha Linehan) at the residential treatment center where I was a therapist. A peer of mine did her practicum at a similar facility, and they used it there, too. It absolutely has eastern spiritual tools. It worked well for some clients, and was benign for others. I learned some useful things teaching/utilizing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Just wanted to send you a :grouphug: and good wishes. I've read some of your prior posts from years ago. (How long have we been on the board anyways?) I admire your honesty and willingness to confront difficult situations. You go, girl. :001_smile: My latest therapist casually mentioned to me one day that I might want to check out BPD b/c she thought I showed a lot of the signs. We didn't talk about it much after that, but I did Google it and there are quite a few of the warning signs that I DO see in myself. Particularly the fear of abandonment (either real or imagined...it doesn't matter). BUT, there are a lot of the signs that I don't exhibit. My husband recently during an argument told me he thinks I have BPD, b/c my therapist mentioned it to him as well and suggested he look it up so he can "be informed". So based on that ONE 3 min. conversation with my therapist, dh had decided I had BPD and was mentally ill and a host of other things. It wasn't pretty. ANYWAY, what made it all worse and still does is dh's extreme co-dependency. What drove me to seek help years ago wasn't BPD...it was depression, which perhaps was masking the underlying BPD? I'm not sure. I see behaviors in myself, thought patterns, that I've never been able to explain. I "KNEW" they were unhealthy and "odd", but couldn't figure out why I acted or thought in such a way. BPD explains some of it, but not all. I lived with a father who was very volatile. We all walked on eggshells around him. I've always thought he was Bipolar. But now I wonder...could it be BPD? He WAS abaondoned as a child and lived with a very violent and whacked father and was abused. But, if I do have BPD, I feel like there is HOPE. I tried meds for years and none really did the trick for the depression or the behaviors or thoughts. I'm off meds now and doing really well. Hmmm.... BPD is a behavioral disorder...there are no meds that can FIX somebody with BPD. Therapy can and often does. I've come a long way since starting therapy years ago. But whatever it is that I have, I see a lot of my father in me and while I used to be a lot worse when it comes to my "temper tantrums" and outbursts, I still struggle. I've been known to keep kids up cleaning their room b/c it had all of a sudden just "gotten to me" and I couldn't help it! I was on a "rampage" and wouldn't stop until the room was clean. I'm very grateful that I never hurt my children physically...but mentally and emotionally...my older children probably have some scars. :( I'm also grateful that I have recognized these horrible things in myself and worked hard to overcome them. My father never did...he never thought anything was wrong with him. It was always everyone else's fault. :glare: I am much more in control of my "tantrums" these day although I still feel it rising up occasionally...seeing a messy room, an unclean kitchen, food in the living room when we have repeatedly said no food in there, unorganized school papers, etc. I'm rambling. I'm sorry. People with BPD can really upset the fabric of the family (unintentionally). My family growing up was incredibly dysfunctional. My father was always "normal" in public. Nobody knew...except one of my friends who happened to witness one of his "tantrums" and was FREAKED OUT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Awww...Stacy. :grouphug: Thanks for the encouragement. I don't know what I would have done through the years without my Hive friends. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Well, as the one who shared the fake cancer incident, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if some found anything I said offensive. Honestly, I didn't do much self-editing when I posted...I probably did sound like I was bashing NPD people, but of course it wasn't meant to bash everyone who's ever had a mental illness. It was about my SIL. If I sounded angry, it's because I am very angry at those who've hurt me and people I love, yes, even those that I know do so out of various degrees of mental illness. I recognize that my anger is just that, mine, and something that I have to work through. As others have better articulated, it's just plain hard. It's hard when you feel like your entire lifetime with certain people has been spent doing nothing but extending grace and getting abuse in return. You get tired of it. You feel bad for them, on some level, but at some point, you reach your limit of coping with it. I shared the experience with my SIL here because, as I told my DH earlier tonight, I've never known a forum like this one where so many are familiar with these types of disorders and how devastating it is to deal with them. I am thankful for the helpful links and book suggestions that have been shared. On another note, I also battle with how much is the illness and how much is choice. It's all just so very hard to live with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 "...extending grace and getting abuse in return..." Good summation. Sorry for all who live it. May all of us be strong for the afflicted we love, and those we protect from their behaviors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 As others have better articulated, it's just plain hard. It's hard when you feel like your entire lifetime with certain people has been spent doing nothing but extending grace and getting abuse in return. You get tired of it. You feel bad for them, on some level, but at some point, you reach your limit of coping with it. ... On another note, I also battle with how much is the illness and how much is choice. It's all just so very hard to live with. :iagree: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in NC Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Ppl with other illnesses/disorders can and do seek help. NPDs won't. This is at the core of NPD. This is what makes it so hard deal with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 This is at the core of NPD. This is what makes it so hard deal with. NPD's would be just fine if everyone else got the help they needed. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kids4me Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Well, as the one who shared the fake cancer incident, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if some found anything I said offensive. Honestly, I didn't do much self-editing when I posted...I probably did sound like I was bashing NPD people, but of course it wasn't meant to bash everyone who's ever had a mental illness. It was about my SIL. If I sounded angry, it's because I am very angry at those who've hurt me and people I love, yes, even those that I know do so out of various degrees of mental illness. I recognize that my anger is just that, mine, and something that I have to work through. As others have better articulated, it's just plain hard. It's hard when you feel like your entire lifetime with certain people has been spent doing nothing but extending grace and getting abuse in return. You get tired of it. You feel bad for them, on some level, but at some point, you reach your limit of coping with it. I shared the experience with my SIL here because, as I told my DH earlier tonight, I've never known a forum like this one where so many are familiar with these types of disorders and how devastating it is to deal with them. I am thankful for the helpful links and book suggestions that have been shared. On another note, I also battle with how much is the illness and how much is choice. It's all just so very hard to live with. I couldn't have said it better myself. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Never mind. I didn't realize this was a zombie thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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