Tsutsie Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Urgh, my son is making me crazy. This sounds harsh, I know it, but trying to word it differently is going to take to much effort! First of, if you look at my singature, you'll see that we school a lot for such a little guy. I have gotten a lot of flack for that and understand that kids his age needs less, more time to play, etc. The reason I'm doing so much is because he is at least doing something then. This kid DOES NOT PLAY! Not cars, trains, lego, puzzles, tinkertoys, science stuff - you name it! He will look at it, fiddle around with it for 10 minute, than put it down, never to return. After 5 minutes in a toy store, he complains about being bored and wanting to go home. He will just follow me around, talking and complaining about being bored. Nagging to visit friends, or to have friends come over. He plays fine in a group and has no social issues. Of late, I'm seeing him sort of going of on the side of the action, as the other kids are using their imaginations and playing some sort of game which he does enjoy. He reads well, but will not pick up a book in the middle of the day as something to do. He as ALWAYS, ALWAYS been like this. Since he was a baby, people would tell me to put him down and let him play with the blocks, etc. Ppfftt - he'd just scream. I tried all the methods for getting a child to play by themselves, to no avail. If I ask him to build an airplane (if I don't tell him what to build, he'd just whine about not knowing what to build) out of lego, he'd complain that it is to difficult and would not even try. So with most things. Puzzles, Tinkertoys, blocks. He is just not interested in ANYTHING and has 0 imagination! Any ideas? I'm so sad for him - what a way to waste a childhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceman Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 How long do you let him be bored before you help him find something to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) my 9 yr old has never been a big "toy" kid-he has always shown a BIG interest in electronics LOL cell phones-game boys-computers-robots-he's even told me before that he doesn't "play" with TOYS lol.....he has a box of legos and I've tried other toys/games but he's not interested.....when he was a toddler he might have played with matchbox type cars--my sister and her boys got him tons of them but they ended up like the other toys I'd get him so I passed them down to a friend's son who loved little cars.... Edited January 7, 2012 by SweetMissMagnolia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 What if you told him he needed to sit down and play with the train set until you told him he could do something else? He could choose to play, or choose to just sit there and do nothing, but he couldn't do anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Urgh, my son is making me crazy. This sounds harsh, I know it, but trying to word it differently is going to take to much effort! First of, if you look at my singature, you'll see that we school a lot for such a little guy. I have gotten a lot of flack for that and understand that kids his age needs less, more time to play, etc. The reason I'm doing so much is because he is at least doing something then. This kid DOES NOT PLAY! Not cars, trains, lego, puzzles, tinkertoys, science stuff - you name it! He will look at it, fiddle around with it for 10 minute, than put it down, never to return. After 5 minutes in a toy store, he complains about being bored and wanting to go home. He will just follow me around, talking and complaining about being bored. Nagging to visit friends, or to have friends come over. He plays fine in a group and has no social issues. Of late, I'm seeing him sort of going of on the side of the action, as the other kids are using their imaginations and playing some sort of game which he does enjoy. He reads well, but will not pick up a book in the middle of the day as something to do. He as ALWAYS, ALWAYS been like this. Since he was a baby, people would tell me to put him down and let him play with the blocks, etc. Ppfftt - he'd just scream. I tried all the methods for getting a child to play by themselves, to no avail. If I ask him to build an airplane (if I don't tell him what to build, he'd just whine about not knowing what to build) out of lego, he'd complain that it is to difficult and would not even try. So with most things. Puzzles, Tinkertoys, blocks. He is just not interested in ANYTHING and has 0 imagination! Any ideas? I'm so sad for him - what a way to waste a childhood. This is my son!!! It drives me insane. I can tell him to go play and instead he will walk into his room sit in the floor for two minutes and try to come back into the livingroom. He is about your DS' age so I know how tiring it can be. No real advice just :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsutsie Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 How long do you let him be bored before you help him find something to do? I've tried leaving him for 5 minutes, then 10, then 15. He would just sit there, or follow me around. I've left him for days, for weeks and for a summer. (Meaning that at some point during the day, I expect him to come up with some sort of constructive way to entertain himself!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 How long do you let him be bored before you help him find something to do? :iagree: My kids have always been this way. I cannot actively engage them ALL day. So I school them for a limited amount of time. They are involved in MANY extras. Most people wouldn't balk at the amount of school work we do (but they might balk at the level), but they might raise an eyebrow to the number of activies my kids do. But they do have a bunch of time where they just need to figure out how to engage themselves. And honestly, that time is SO good for them and a huge part of "school" and learning for them. Getting to that point does require some agony and getting over a hump, but my kids don't even bother to ask me to entertain them any more. I just have a bunch around the house that I can point to - science kits, craft and building stuff, educational electronics, chores, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 How about telling him, you can either play with A or B. And then enforcing his choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Have you ever sat down and played with him? Sometimes they just need to be shown how to use their imagination. My ds was the same way. His idea of playing w/ his cars and trucks was to line them up, making sure their bumpers formed some sort of straight line, and he was done. Try and build a lego house w/ him and put in doors and windows, nope. No holes allowed, sides must be perfectly straight. He didn't develop an imagination until the Christmas he was 8 or 9. He got some 4" pose-able army men, and an awesome tank that moved and made battle noises. He's 15 and planning on joining the marines after college. :lol: Sometimes, it just takes the right toys! Edited January 7, 2012 by Unicorn 4 inch men, not 4 ft Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My first step would be to make a "no I'm bored" rule! I can't stand that complaint - anytime he says it, I'd set him up in a bathroom with a rag and soap and put him to cleaning. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Does he play with your younger child? Does he prefer large muscle activities? Running, jumping, swinging, sliding, hanging upside down, scootering, biking? One of my boys would much rather do that than play toys. It makes birthday/christmas hard as really he doesn't have a toy he just has to have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsutsie Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 He'll do anything if someone is doing it with him (for a while, anyway) - but using his own initiative is out of the question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 What about Audio books? Will he listen to those as something to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceman Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 He'll do anything if someone is doing it with him (for a while, anyway) - but using his own initiative is out of the question. What about gently guiding him to using his own initiative? Sit down with him and a notepad, or some paper stapled into a book, and brainstorm together some "I'm bored" ideas. Whenever you need him to find something on his own, steer him to his big book of ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 (edited) I can relate. As a child I also did not like to play with toys or build things or pretend much. He may just not have child-like interests. He may be bored until he gets old enough for the world to offer him activities that are at the level he is wanting. I see he is learning instruments. Would he like to explore music or practice on his own ? I would practice for hours some days when I had time and was not disturbed. Would he listen to audio books ? Does he like to work on mind-challenging things, like sudoku or Critical Thinking workbooks ? Would he like to work on independently studying a language, using some program with lots of audio ? Edited January 8, 2012 by laundrycrisis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 This sounds a lot like my oldest. He likes to daydream and think about things, although he likes to read books, too. He never much played imaginative games until his younger brother came along and then he joined in. He is now almost 12, and still doesn't play much, unless he is taking over his little brother's games! I kinda think he is just lazy -- doesn't want to take the time to think up a plan and put it into action -- much easier to take over little brothers play already in motion. Again, this kid will read -- a lot, and he'll sit and daydream, but he doesn't want to put forth an effort for much else. I'm desperately trying to find him a hobby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Urgh, my son is making me crazy. This sounds harsh, I know it, but trying to word it differently is going to take to much effort! First of, if you look at my singature, you'll see that we school a lot for such a little guy. I have gotten a lot of flack for that and understand that kids his age needs less, more time to play, etc. The reason I'm doing so much is because he is at least doing something then. This kid DOES NOT PLAY! Not cars, trains, lego, puzzles, tinkertoys, science stuff - you name it! He will look at it, fiddle around with it for 10 minute, than put it down, never to return. After 5 minutes in a toy store, he complains about being bored and wanting to go home. He will just follow me around, talking and complaining about being bored. Nagging to visit friends, or to have friends come over. He plays fine in a group and has no social issues. Of late, I'm seeing him sort of going of on the side of the action, as the other kids are using their imaginations and playing some sort of game which he does enjoy. He reads well, but will not pick up a book in the middle of the day as something to do. He as ALWAYS, ALWAYS been like this. Since he was a baby, people would tell me to put him down and let him play with the blocks, etc. Ppfftt - he'd just scream. I tried all the methods for getting a child to play by themselves, to no avail. If I ask him to build an airplane (if I don't tell him what to build, he'd just whine about not knowing what to build) out of lego, he'd complain that it is to difficult and would not even try. So with most things. Puzzles, Tinkertoys, blocks. He is just not interested in ANYTHING and has 0 imagination! Any ideas? I'm so sad for him - what a way to waste a childhood. Let me send you a video of my son giving us a painfully detailed account of his many imaginary friend's adventures. Oh I'm sure it sounds nice to the uninitiated, but the reality of living with an alternate universe can be a bit much. This HAS to be one of those grass is greener situations. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 My first step would be to make a "no I'm bored" rule! I can't stand that complaint - anytime he says it, I'd set him up in a bathroom with a rag and soap and put him to cleaning. :D :iagree: Give him a chore whenever he says he's bored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in STL Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I agree with the chore suggestion. Mine know if they come to me bored, they will walk away with work. Sometimes they're actually bored and are happy for me to give them something to do. However, it cuts down on constantly hearing this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malory Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Does he play with your younger child? Does he prefer large muscle activities? Running, jumping, swinging, sliding, hanging upside down, scootering, biking? One of my boys would much rather do that than play toys. It makes birthday/christmas hard as really he doesn't have a toy he just has to have. This thread gives me hope. I have FIVE sons who do not play with toys. What are the odds? For the longest time I thought I was the only one with kids who are not into LEGOs. Their four-year-old cousin can build a better figure than they. Yes, they would much rather exercise their big muscles and I have the hardest time with presents, too. When they play indoors they play indoor soccer, or indoor baseball, or indoor basketball. You get the idea. But recently they have taken to sketching, especially after receiving a sketchpad each. They also like singing and acting, so CDs of children musicals are well enjoyed also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Maybe get him a toy cleaning set? (we used to have one that had a cart, broom, mini dustpan, rag, duster etc.) I have two boys, so it wasn't girlish looking. Anyway, if he's bored he can help tidy the place up. Although these are kid-sized tools, they really do work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 My oldest was the same way... Until we put him on a a computer. Now he is a computer genius. Some kids are just like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I was like that as a child too. I don't remember ever playing with toys, unless some friends were there to lead the game. Sure I'd go along, but I wasn't thrilled. I enjoyed the companionship, not the playtime. I was the youngest of the family, so my parents were quite happy to let me be. They had to deal with three teens (I'm 10 years younger than my nearest sibling). I was quite content to be left in my room. My imagination took off in college, not before that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsutsie Posted January 8, 2012 Author Share Posted January 8, 2012 Thank you all for your replies - I'm a little more encouraged (and inspired). Also relieved, that he is not the only weird kiddo out there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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