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Admitting homeschool failure -what now? LONG POST


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HUGS. I think you're getting some good advice re:depression.

 

Agreed with others that Singapore may not be the program for you.

 

And I just wanted to say relax and make room for fun. Those 3 R's are important, but the more you push them to the exclusion of the fun stuff, the more you're all going to feel stressed and unhappy. And the more stressed and unhappy you all are, the less progress you'll make. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but I wouldn't forgo breaks and I would take a little less time on some of these things. I'm a big proponent of doing more with less time. And celebrate that high quality reading. Really, she's doing fine. It'll all be fine.

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This. Is the depression treated with meds, therapy, or both? Lack of consistency and follow through is part of depression, which feeds the homeschooling issue, which feeds the depression.

 

I'm also wondering if perfectionism is part of this picture (and can be tied to depression). Not being able to do something completely "right", for a perfectionist, often leads to not doing anything.

 

 

 

 

 

I teach in a school that has this option (university style). With 3 days in which you are still responsible, and at her young age, being on top of the depression is going to be essential.

 

I was hoping you would chime in given your counseling background Joanne. The depression is long-term chronic, family history depression. Ugh. Been on and off meds for almost 20 years. No therapy. Can anyone say "time?" double ugh. I know I need to do a lot of things including going back to my rigorous exercise which frankly, did more for my psyche than any meds ever did. (but I stay on them anyway). Frankly, I am not being a perfectionist. Here is an example of an interaction today with the math problem was as follows:

 

Look at the patterns and Fill in the blank:

 

5 1 6

4 5 9

2 ____ 3

9 ____ 9

 

We spent at least 10 minutes working on the 9 + 0 = 9. I pulled out the rods. Still didn't get it.

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Here is an example of an interaction today with the math problem was as follows:

 

Look at the patterns and Fill in the blank:

 

5 1 6

4 5 9

2 ____ 3

9 ____ 9

 

We spent at least 10 minutes working on the 9 + 0 = 9. I pulled out the rods. Still didn't get it.

 

My daughter would have done better with manipulatives than the rods at that age. They are all different.

 

We actually tried Miquon, and she hated it. She hated using the rods, and used counting bears instead. This was somewhat counterproductive. :glare:

 

Here is the thing about Saxon: It is scripted. That makes it easy for the teacher. It is fairly rote through level 3. I think that if she is going to use it, she and you both would benefit from getting used to it now.

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<snip>

 

Then call the school you want her in and find out what test they use and what they want the kids doing. Get a list. Tell them your plan to enroll and find out what she is lacking and make catching those areas up your primary goal.

 

I would definitely contact the new school and ask for a list of teaching objectives for first and second grade. That should give you a concise list of skills and content knowledge to target.

 

Also, check out the ED Hirsch books - What Your X Grader Needs to Know, etc. Focus on the skills in the 3 R's and, as others have said, use the other sections of the book as a read aloud. That will cover any social studies and basic history and science topics that might be included on a nationally borked standardized test.

 

Sometimes I think we get bogged down by curriculum. If you can pick out the highlights and make the curriculum serve you, rather than your being a slave to it, you will be fine.

:grouphug:

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:grouphug: Don't have much advice, but would most surely focus on the reading, writing, and arithmetic. I say practice, practice, and more practice when it comes to math. Find some K-2 grade math books/workbooks and focus on the basic counting, adding, subtraction, telling time, money, etc.

 

This. I wouldn't do K12 at this point. I'd concentrate on the essentials and really - is a 2nd or 3rd grade entrance test really going to care if she knows who the first President was? They'll want to know her reading and math levels. Can you afford a high school or college student to come in a tutor through the summer? That would take some of the burden off of you and your dd may like having someone other than mommy doing her school with her.

 

Take a deep breath. You're not a failure. Homeschooling doesn't work for every child or family. I've put 3 of my 6 in school. Yes, I did feel terribly guilty at first, but now they are flourishing and I don't feel nearly so stressed about "doing it all". Get her prepared and do what is best for her.

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First of all, she is young. You can catch up. It will take determination, and consistancy.

 

Plan to educate all summer. No way around it.

 

I assume she reads? If not, fix that. That's job one. If so, she should read assigned reading for about 45 minutes per day--15-20 of them aloud to you so that you can make sure that she is not skipping words she doesn't know, but learning them instead.

 

Implement a serious read aloud program every single day. You read science, history, picture books, and chapter books. Make it fun! Read old-fashioned books with longer sentences, like Ramona the Brave and LWW. This will teach vocabulary and broaden her literacy.

 

That's what I would do, and I would jump all over it.

 

:iagree: My boys are eight. I know what these ages are capable of and this is do-able. First of all, I'm in VA too, and your dd doesn't have to pass a test in June. I don't administer the test to my kids until late August -- mainly because I'm lazy. Contact Seton.com. They are wonderful. One of my friends jokes that her dog could walk through mud and then across the testing papers -- and still pass!

 

We really like Math U See over here.

 

As for reading, if she's really not getting it. . . don't hesitate to order the I See Sam books. One of my boys was struggling and within months he was reading chapter books.

 

As for schooling all summer -- I highly recommend it. We do it whether we're in a crisis mode or not.

 

If you have some cash, you might also look into Kumon or something like that and get her some extra tutoring, but I think you have loads of time to right this ship.

 

I don't think you've failed at all -- I think you're being way too hard on yourself.

 

Alley

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[/html]Somehow i missed the last page of replies - and important additional info - before I replied.

 

So just wanted to say - it is terrific that you know what she is going into, curriculum wise. I echo those saying to swap to that stuff now.

 

University model school will require you to serve as the three day a week teacher - getting familiar with the new curriculum YOURSELF will be helpful for the BOTH of you come next fall. We did UM schooling, 3 days at school, 2 at home. My lack of familiarity with the curriculum definitely affected our interactions on "my" teacher days. The kids just didn't seem to consider me an authority equal to their teacher.

 

If she is really blocked about taking in math concepts, I second the outside tutor. Wish I'd have gone that route earlier with one of my dc. It's much easier to remedy at 7 than at 13, let me tell ya...:glare:

 

Also, if she is not simply frustrated with math but is, generally speaking, a stubborn and somewhat uncooperative child, please do consider holding her back a year if it seems reasonable according to her birthday. IT IS NOT FAILURE!!! It may just give her the adjustment time she needs with a little less pressure. Only you can determine if this is an option for her, but please don't immediately discount it. Seven seems pretty young for third grade, anyway. My seven year old is a first grader now, and is right on target with her school's age guidelines.

 

Take care of yourself, too! Get the oxygen mask on yourself first, kwim?

 

:grouphug:

Edited by AuntieM
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(((Stephanie))), I just saw this as I'm going to bed and have not had time to read other replies. I am probably not the first person to say this.

 

Virginia. I've lived here for five years and not looked at SOLs. Your dd does not need to complete Sing 2A to adequately test as a second grader. What test will you use? I'd recommend the CAT test, which you can perform at home. You can give her the test very close to the end of the year. If necessary, you can read the test to her. It's a (relatively) short "survey" test, and the turn around time for scoring is super fast (less than a week).

 

She may not pass the OK school entrance exam. It doesn't sound like either of you are up to/able to make up a complete school year in the time you have. On the other hand, maybe she would pass. I think you are on the right track to be focusing on the basics. Read to her and work on reading and spelling. Work on math; I'd suggest including fun math or other "thinking" type things in to your day. When my kids were little, they played computer games such as Reader Rabbit, Learn to Play Chess, Zoombinis, etc. Play board or card games with her. It will help create more of a bond after what sounds like a miserable year, AND it will encourage her thinking/logic and math skills. She's young. This will not hurt her in the long run.

 

You are not a failure. You are a mom doing her best. We all fall short at some time. You recognize that this year has not gone well, and you are seeking to remedy it. That's NOT a failure. This year has obviously been a huge challenge for you, but what she can take away from it is that you went through a hard time together and came out of it OKAY. You have opportunities here that are more than just academic.

 

We know you on these boards. We know this is not you. Your dd knows this is not you. You WILL get through this, and your dd WILL come out of this. You need to take care of yourself though in order to help her, and to help her catch up.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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I'd switch her to Saxon and nothing else (math-wise).

 

Saxon has daily drill, so you don't need Kumon. If timed drill freaks her out, don't time until she is more confident. I wouldn't buy a flashmaster or anything else - really, Saxon has plenty of practice, and I would really keep things low-key and low pressure at this point. For extra practice, just play some board games (NOT 'math' games, just plain ol' board games with dice). If she enjoys simple math games on the computer, by all means allow it, but don't require or even encourage it (b/c encouragement when we are stressed and worried comes across a lot like requirement, kwim?).

 

There is a ton of review in Saxon, so start where she is and don't worry about where she is going to be. The hard thing about 5/4 is the lack of a workbook, not the work itself.

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I'm sure someone has commented about this, but you're moving to the State of the Free! Oklahoma is great!! I don't think you need to test there....... I think you're kinda off the hook. My son would do fine and I registered him a year behind; I just didn't want him to be tested at age 8......

Hopefully I'm right and you're just fine with no testing this year, or test as a baseline and you'll see a "growth" pattern. The one thing I'd do is see what tests are easy to have done in OK. (if you're testing before you get there...)

Dig in, find out why it's not sticking... or getting done. You may need to get an accountability partner. From everything I've heard, OK still has great homeschooling groups and opportunities ;)

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Is it a TEST or a test/interview?

I ask because our local private Catholic school requires an entrance exam... of sorts; but it isn't the kind that can be prepared for out of a test booklet. The child is interviewed by the Head of School and "tested" according to THEIR standards - not a recognized standardized test necessarily. For example, the child may be asked to recite something, read a passage from a book chosen by the HOS, work a few math problems, asked what they have learned in history/science, etc.

At least, this is how it was when we entered the school several years ago.

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It is Veritas and regarding accellerated Saxon? now I am doubly nervous.:blink:

 

Can you find out specific facts about math placement? Do they put all third graders into 5/4? Or is there some flexibility to place based on student ability.

 

Worrying about the VA tests is misplaced fretting (IHMO) since the required scores are quite low and the consequence for being below those scores is OBE since you're moving anyway. (And I say that having had kids who were all over the board for testing.)

 

Find out if the exam for the school in OK is for placement or entrance. What test? What minimums?

 

Don't worry about what doesn't matter. That leads to paralysis.

 

(We are avid Saxon users and I think 5/4 for 3rd grade is terribly ambitious. Find out facts from the target school about placement, exceptions, tutoring and remediation.)

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I didn't read the other responses...so sorry if this is redundant.

 

My ds is 8, in 3rd grade, and completing Singapore 2B right now. He is learning multiplication and division just like any 3rd grader...in Singapore level 2 books. I am pretty sure I read somewhere that Singapore is about a year ahead with the 6A and 6B books actually touching on Pre-algebra. My oldest son is finishing 6B and will start Pre-Algebra in 8th grade. He is testing, already, right on point for starting pre-algebra with no problems. I would not worry about Math at all. If she doesn't "get" the basics, she can't move on...no matter how old she is because you have to have a foundation to build upon.

 

Sounds like she is fine elsewhere too. As long as she can read really well and is learning math, that is absolutely on level for a 2nd grader!

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First of all, I can't reply to each and every one of you wonderful, wonderful people but I know that I appreciate each and every one of your wonderful and thoughtful responses. I feel so much better this morning than I did yesterday afternoon. DH has a calming influence as well, and was wonderful.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

So... I went ahead and bought Saxon 2 and the manipulatives. I am sure there was a cheaper way to do it than from Amazon, but I am not in a position to spend hours comparing prices, figuring out what manips we already have and buying stuff individually. If I have duplicates, so be it. Sometimes you just have to jump.

 

DH has also ordered me in the most loving way possible that I WILL be going to Crossfit tonight, no arguments. I will be in massive pain I the next week, but frankly it is the best pain I have ever felt, pregnancies and post C Sections aside.

 

Third, i do confess that I have not been spending enough one and one time with the girls. I have been hiding in plain sight on the computer. It is what I do when I get depressed. No more of that.

 

Thanks again, and to you PMers, I will be contacting you this afternoon. Right I need to get some other things done.

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Work with her on math fact cards...increase her speed...we keep them laminated and run through them until they can answer 200 math facts in under 5 minutes...or cut their time in half, if it takes her 8 minutes to complete 200 facts, work on lowering that by half...it's fun, you make fun of it by crazy faces..and give rewards when she gets them down! :)

 

Manipulatives...fractions etc. pie pieces etc.

 

Read aloud and have discussions, make sure her reading comprehension/listening skills are strong..pick fun books to read aloud as a family!

Five Little Peppers and How they Grew

The Princess and the Goblin

Heidi

Little House on the Prairie books

all were faves at that age

 

Just focus on reading/writing/comprehension/math...all the rest will come naturally from their interests! :)

 

Good advice!

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