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WWYD: A no win health dilemma


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We went on vacation in our new camper right after Christmas. On Thursday my DH woke up in excruciating pain. Luckily my FIL was with us and he was able to run DH to the ER. Turned out he has a large kidney stone (his first). They got him into surgery with hopes to lead the sucker out but it pushed back into his kidney, so the urologist put in a stint until he can have it shot with the fancy machine. That couldn't happen in that small town until this coming Wednesday. They released him Thursday night around 6 and told us we could come home and try to get seen sooner up here. I flew us home in 3 hrs. Luckily FIL was in his own vehicle that could also haul our trailer so that was not going to be my problem. DH was still in a lot of pain and we were really hoping to get him into the Dr on Friday so we had MIL meet us at our house and she took the kids. Friday we learned that urologist didn't want to work that close to NYE so we headed to the ER. Turns out with the stint in, he is not an emergency and they can't blast his stone until Monday, NEXT Monday that is. So now we are facing the decision to go back the 3 hours to be seen on Wednesday or stay local and wait until Monday.

 

That's not my dilemma though. My DD woke up vomiting at my MIL's house this morning. She is miserable. MIL sounds exhausted. Turns out SFIL was ill right before Christmas and then my nephews that were there over Christmas and a few days later got ill as well. One guess where we spent Christmas. :glare: That doesn't change the fact that I have a child miserable with I am sure 3 more to go down with it before this is all over.

 

The dilemma comes with what to do. Every ounce in my mommy bones wants to go get my kids. The rational part of me says to keep them in the already exposed house. If I get them, then DH will have to go to his dad's until his stone is taken care of and potentially after that for a bit and I will not be able to be a part of that in any way shape or form. He cannot get a stomach virus right now. So what would you do? Ship off DH or make MIL take care of my sick kid(s).

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I'd lay it all out for MIL, and ask her to be totally honest with me about if she feels she can keep the kids or not. If she says she can keep them, I'd make sure she understood that, if at any time she felt she couldn't handle them anymore, she should call me. If that happened, I'd ship Dh to his dads and then go get the kids.

 

But if MIL can and is willing, I'd let her do the kids for you.

 

So sorry, hope everyone heals without complications. (And kindney stones/stints STINK!)

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I would play it by ear. Check in with MIL frequently. If she nears her breaking point, then be prepared to get the kids. Who knows, they may not all get the bug. Meanwhile, ask dh how important it is to have you there. It may mean a lot to him, or it may be *meh*, do what you need to do.

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I'd lay it all out for MIL, and ask her to be totally honest with me about if she feels she can keep the kids or not. If she says she can keep them, I'd make sure she understood that, if at any time she felt she couldn't handle them anymore, she should call me. If that happened, I'd ship Dh to his dads and then go get the kids.

 

But if MIL can and is willing, I'd let her do the kids for you.

 

So sorry, hope everyone heals without complications. (And kindney stones/stints STINK!)

 

This is pretty much what I have been doing so far. I don't know if MIL will ever admit to a breaking point short of her getting sick with it as well. I just hope DD is feeling better when I check on her in the morning.

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I can't help with this decision. I will say your DH will probably feel a lot better very quickly after the stone is broken up. At least that was my experience. I was still on pain killers for about 4 days after the procedure but, it was way better then before hand.

 

Make sure he follows up with the kidney stone doctors afterwards and they analyse the composition of the stone. Their recommendations for preventing new stones will depend on the composition of this one. Most likely, they will recommend giving up all cola, chocolate and a couple of other things that have the wrong ingredient. They will probably also recommend drinking a cup of milk with every meal.

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