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If one of your kids posted this, would there be anything in the contents (or between the lines) that bothered you? Honest opinions, please:

 

top 10 goals of 2012

1. get a 95% minimum grade in anatomy

2. increase bench press from 225 lbs to 300 lbs

3. get my eagle scout!!

4. crawl outta my shell and become a little more social

... 5. grow a goatee

6. reach 6 feet 8 inches

7. get a job

8. get my driver's license

9. get a 90% minimum grade in math

10. acheive all these goals and the countless others I left unmentioned

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If one of your kids posted this, would there be anything in the contents (or between the lines) that bothered you? Honest opinions, please:

 

top 10 goals of 2012

1. get a 95% minimum grade in anatomy

2. increase bench press from 225 lbs to 300 lbs

3. get my eagle scout!!

4. crawl outta my shell and become a little more social

... 5. grow a goatee

6. reach 6 feet 8 inches

7. get a job

8. get my driver's license

9. get a 90% minimum grade in math

10. acheive all these goals and the countless others I left unmentioned

 

Nothing there hits my trouble detector, but I am looking at the list from the viewpoint of my understanding of my kids. Only you can decide if something there worries you. :001_smile:

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I might talk to him about his other unmentioned goals but I think those are great goals for a teenage boy.

 

On the side my DH just grew a goatee. He have it maybe 2 1/2 weeks and off it came. :D He realized it wasn't who he was. But he came to that conclusion without me saying a word.

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Nope. I would have no problem with those goals.

 

But since both my sons are currently about 5'10" and neither can grow any facial hair to speak of, I would probably get a good giggle out of that list. 6'8"? Really?

 

:laugh: YES! My almost 16 year old after "no shave November"...HAHAHAH! Bless his heart.

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But since both my sons are currently about 5'10" and neither can grow any facial hair to speak of, I would probably get a good giggle out of that list. 6'8"? Really?

 

:iagree::iagree: Seeing as how I am 5'3" and DH is 5'7" DS I would point out to DS that genetics are not on his side! :lol::lol::lol:

 

Seriously it looks fine to me.

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"Be more social" combined with "unmentioned goals" and being a teen ... girls? A certain girl in particular?

 

Having been, in a former life, a shy, anxious teen with a long-term crush and lofty goals makes me suspect that. Maybe I'm way off. Either way I wouldn't worry about it.

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Well, the first goal of "a 95% in anatomy" immediately hit me as a possible sexual innuendo. But I just returned from a week spent with DH's younger sibs, in which it would definitely have been a sexual reference. So I'm jaded right now. Given the tone of the rest of the list, I wouldn't worry.

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Oh dear, I didn't know I'd cause so much speculation! You all are funny about the innuendo part. I wasn't thinking *that* at all! No, I'm not alarmed about anything scary...yes, he is taking anatomy. And he's currently 6'6 (at age 16, and still growing).

 

So here's my situation. I'm not a facebook fan at all. I don't have my own account, but part of the territory with my kids getting FB is that I lurk around on their accounts from time to time. He wasn't posting anything that he didn't know I'd likely read.

 

There was nothing that he posted that had a "hidden" meaning, but when I say it "bothered" me (the way I phrased it originally) I just don't like the way he presented himself, I guess.

 

I'm probably overreacting, I'll admit that right off the bat.

 

I just think that FB is such a stage for self-promotion, and it drives me batty. My son is very much into heavy weightlifting, fitness, nutrition, big muscles, etc... He's a very handsome young man, and he's pretty much totally into himself...I guess that part's not unusual for a teenage boy, right?

 

It's just that when I see things on FB like, "increase my bench press from 225 to 300" it seems the whole point behind that is, "Hey, did you all catch that I can already bench 225 because I'm such a stud?"

 

Reminds me of Gaston in Beauty and the Beast..."and every last inch of me's covered with hair!!!!"

 

If I want to be seen as pious, I could say, "My resolution is to go from spending a mere 4 hours a day on my knees in prayer to a full 8 hours."

 

Or how about "reduce my body fat from 8% to 5%."

 

Or "tithe 30% instead of 15%."

 

Or "get my 5th and final child into an Ivy League college on full scholarship, like the other 4 before him."

 

I know, a bit of an exaggeration, but what he wants everyone to know is what a buff young thing he is.

 

Maybe that's not so obvious from his list, but because I know him so well, I know that's what he's aiming at.

 

I'm just not into self-promotion. At all.

 

I'm ready to admit that his list was not unusual in a bad way, necessarily. I don't know.

 

That's why I didn't want to say up front anything about the part that I didn't like. I wanted honest input from disinterested third parties.

 

You've all given me perspective. Thanks!

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Oh dear, I didn't know I'd cause so much speculation! You all are funny about the innuendo part. I wasn't thinking *that* at all! No, I'm not alarmed about anything scary...yes, he is taking anatomy. And he's currently 6'6 (at age 16, and still growing).

 

So here's my situation. I'm not a facebook fan at all. I don't have my own account, but part of the territory with my kids getting FB is that I lurk around on their accounts from time to time. He wasn't posting anything that he didn't know I'd likely read.

 

There was nothing that he posted that had a "hidden" meaning, but when I say it "bothered" me (the way I phrased it originally) I just don't like the way he presented himself, I guess.

 

I'm probably overreacting, I'll admit that right off the bat.

 

I just think that FB is such a stage for self-promotion, and it drives me batty. My son is very much into heavy weightlifting, fitness, nutrition, big muscles, etc... He's a very handsome young man, and he's pretty much totally into himself...I guess that part's not unusual for a teenage boy, right?

 

It's just that when I see things on FB like, "increase my bench press from 225 to 300" it seems the whole point behind that is, "Hey, did you all catch that I can already bench 225 because I'm such a stud?"

 

Reminds me of Gaston in Beauty and the Beast..."and every last inch of me's covered with hair!!!!"

 

If I want to be seen as pious, I could say, "My resolution is to go from spending a mere 4 hours a day on my knees in prayer to a full 8 hours."

 

Or how about "reduce my body fat from 8% to 5%."

 

Or "tithe 30% instead of 15%."

 

Or "get my 5th and final child into an Ivy League college on full scholarship, like the other 4 before him."

 

I know, a bit of an exaggeration, but what he wants everyone to know is what a buff young thing he is.

 

Maybe that's not so obvious from his list, but because I know him so well, I know that's what he's aiming at.

 

I'm just not into self-promotion. At all.

 

I'm ready to admit that his list was not unusual in a bad way, necessarily. I don't know.

 

That's why I didn't want to say up front anything about the part that I didn't like. I wanted honest input from disinterested third parties.

 

You've all given me perspective. Thanks!

I totally get where you're coming from, and when that is factored in, then the FB post probably would bother me. I wouldn't likely complain about the post itself, but I'd be working with him regarding humility, etc., and I'd probably point out to him that the goals were great, but a little self-centered. I'd ask him what he planned to do in terms of serving others. :001_smile:

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I think FB creates an illusion that personal information remains personal, while in fact it is very public.

 

I think his personal goals are fantastic, and it is actually recommended to be as specific as possible when setting your goals, in order to be more focused on them.

 

As a public statement made out of the blue it might sound like bragging, but as a list of private goals (even if shared on a public forum) it is excellent and focused.

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If one of your kids posted this, would there be anything in the contents (or between the lines) that bothered you? Honest opinions, please:

 

top 10 goals of 2012

1. get a 95% minimum grade in anatomy

2. increase bench press from 225 lbs to 300 lbs

3. get my eagle scout!!

4. crawl outta my shell and become a little more social

... 5. grow a goatee

6. reach 6 feet 8 inches

7. get a job

8. get my driver's license

9. get a 90% minimum grade in math

10. acheive all these goals and the countless others I left unmentioned

No, why would this trouble you? He's a kid. He isn't going to be thinking about his altruistic goals in life quite yet.

 

If this child were posting about questionable activities, that would trouble.

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No, those goals posted on FB wouldn't bother me from a 16 year old.

 

FB is pretty superficial to me; nothing too deep for most people popping in to read.

 

If one of your kids posted this, would there be anything in the contents (or between the lines) that bothered you? Honest opinions, please:

 

top 10 goals of 2012

1. get a 95% minimum grade in anatomy

2. increase bench press from 225 lbs to 300 lbs

3. get my eagle scout!!

4. crawl outta my shell and become a little more social

... 5. grow a goatee

6. reach 6 feet 8 inches

7. get a job

8. get my driver's license

9. get a 90% minimum grade in math

10. acheive all these goals and the countless others I left unmentioned

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My son is only 4.... But, I would be thrilled to see a list like that from him at 16!

 

Seriously, your son sounds like a great and normal 16 year old. I thought he actually threw in a bit of humility by saying he was shy and needed to come out of his shell.

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Thanks again to everyone for their input.

 

No, the goals themselves weren't bothersome. The (intentional) public broadcast of how much he can benchpress and how much he hopes to benchpress seems like needless self-promotion to me, but he's also a 16 year old boy.

 

I *would* like to think some of his goals would involve more altruism, as someone menioned earlier, but then again, that may come with age.

 

I do agree after thinking about it that his desire to "come out of his shell" does demonstrate some humility.

 

I wasn't alarmed at anything he posted. But to post the details of the list publicly just hit me as being somewhat attention-getting and inward focused. And I do get that's kinda what FB is all about....which is why I don't have my own account.

 

This is just my own weirdness, but I often try to imagine what I'd post on FB if I *did* have my own account, and I can't think of a thing. I don't think I could broadast personal accomplishments without feeling bragadocious. And anything else just seems like small-talk, i.e., "finally finished the laundry, LOL!" Does anyone really want to read that kind of thing?

 

I understand that I'm an unusual bird in this regard. I'm sure I'll eventually get an account, especially if that's what I have to do to keep in touch with my kids as they grow up.

 

Let me reiterate that I don't have a problem at all with any of these goals. And I'm immensely glad that he's thinking of goals period. I'm just not into the attention it brings to broadcast such things publicly.

 

I think you are all right, though, that for a 16 year old boy, this is pretty typical, and even welcome and positive when it comes to goal-setting. Thanks, all!

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Sounds about right to me...and my 12 year old is following right in his footsteps. This weekend, he called from his dad's to tell me that his dad measured him and he is now 5'7" tall, he can do 200 crunches, can bench 175lbs, loves his new Ipad. Not "hey mom, how are you..." or "I really miss you" or "how have things been at home"...nope...all about HIM. I hope they grow out of that sometime. ;)

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Sounds about right to me...and my 12 year old is following right in his footsteps. This weekend, he called from his dad's to tell me that his dad measured him and he is now 5'7" tall, he can do 200 crunches, can bench 175lbs, loves his new Ipad. Not "hey mom, how are you..." or "I really miss you" or "how have things been at home"...nope...all about HIM. I hope they grow out of that sometime. ;)

 

:iagree: Yeah, I think it's pretty typical. Around here the bench-pressing comment would garner weeks of teasing just to make sure he didn't take himself too seriously ;)

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