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Please help me not feel guilty about exercising


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I have a wonderful yoga studio very close to my home. I went consistently for about 6 months. I felt GREAT and everyone was happy about it.

 

Then I began to feel very guilty about it all. I felt like I was spending money only on me. The classes aren't cheap but we can afford them. I also know that my oldest daughter doesn't get enough exercise. The classes are too expensive for the both of us to go. I also have a child with Cerebral Palsy. It made me feel guilty that I could do some of the poses and I know that he will never be able to. I just couldn't handle that emotionally.

 

I quit last summer and have barely exercised since then. I would love to go back to yoga but I feel so guilty about it. I have yoga DVDs at home but I really don't enjoy doing exercise DVDs. They just sit collecting dust. I do walk but have IT band issues that yoga really helped so I only walk occasionally to keep that from flaring up.

 

I'm asking for people to help me get over this guilt and be able to take care of myself. I know the whole argument about how I need to take care of myself so I can take care of others but it's just not sinking in.

 

Please any comments would be helpful :001_smile:

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

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If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be in any condition to take care of those around you. So by taking care of yourself, you ARE taking care of them. Like the oxygen masks on the plane, you put yours on FIRST then help those around you. Please do this for yourself.

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Don't feel guilty! By going to yoga you are not only taking care of yourself, but you are setting a good example for your children (especially your dd's.) You say you feel guilty about the amount of exercise your oldest dd gets, but has your quitting yoga led to her getting any more exercise? I would guess the answer is no, meaning now neither of you are getting enough exercise. Go back to yoga and set up a time to walk with your dd a couple of times a week (this would also give you an opportunity to spend some nice one on one time with her) or see if the budget would allow for her to attend yoga with you just once a week.

 

As far as the guilt about your son with CP-how do you think he would feel if he knew you gave up something you loved because he couldn't do it? I think that feeling would be much worse than knowing his family can do things he can't. Give yourself the permission to do this for yourself and realize that the guilt isn't helping anyone else and is only hurting you. :grouphug::grouphug:

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You NEED to do this. Caring for a disabled child is physically demanding and your health is critical to keeping your family running. (I really DO understand because my eleven-year-old son is wheelchair bound due to muscular dystrophy and my exercise is dancing.) Also, you need to teach your daughter that Mom is an important member of the family that has her own needs because you'll want her to feel empowered to take care of herself when she's a mother some day.

 

If you're like me, these classes are the only time during the week you have to focus on taking care of yourself. They may be expensive, but they are cheaper than therapy and zoloft. Also, you can't ignore the benefits to your health and marriage when you are fit and have had a moment to recharge. If your teen daughter is like mine, she already gets plenty of time to herself. Also, she probably should be doing something more aerobic than yoga anyway. Teens have no trouble focusing on their own needs. Moms do. Maybe you can do the tapes at home with your daughter, or take walks with her, and keep the classes for just you?

 

I really think you should try to get yourself to the point where you feel you deserve this one thing. You work hard. You deserve to have something that's just for you. I think every mother should have at least one topic of conversation that isn't their family (or in our case, homeschooling). A healthy, well-rounded mother benefits the entire family.

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Just think that you taking care of yourself can be an inspiration to your older daughter and your good health and energy will help you better care for your child with Cerebral Palsy. A healthy energetic momma will only be helpful to your kids. I know taking care of yourself first goes against all laws of nature for a mom, but it is so true and has to be done. :)

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I have a wonderful yoga studio very close to my home. I went consistently for about 6 months. I felt GREAT and everyone was happy about it.

 

Then I began to feel very guilty about it all. I felt like I was spending money only on me. The classes aren't cheap but we can afford them. I also know that my oldest daughter doesn't get enough exercise. The classes are too expensive for the both of us to go. I also have a child with Cerebral Palsy. It made me feel guilty that I could do some of the poses and I know that he will never be able to. I just couldn't handle that emotionally.

 

I quit last summer and have barely exercised since then. I would love to go back to yoga but I feel so guilty about it. I have yoga DVDs at home but I really don't enjoy doing exercise DVDs. They just sit collecting dust. I do walk but have IT band issues that yoga really helped so I only walk occasionally to keep that from flaring up.

 

I'm asking for people to help me get over this guilt and be able to take care of myself. I know the whole argument about how I need to take care of myself so I can take care of others but it's just not sinking in.

 

Please any comments would be helpful :001_smile:

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

 

for yourself - just remember that taking care of yourself allows you to do more for your children than if you weren't doing yoga. you are calmer, healthier, and better able to care for them. look at how you were with them six months ago and how are you with them today?

 

if you want movitation to do yoga at home - find a big space, get three mats, and have your kids join you. our former neighbor has cp, and when he started working out, his symptoms improved. by having them join you, they will also be getting benefit out of it. there are also a number of "yoga for kids" dvds.

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If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be in any condition to take care of those around you. So by taking care of yourself, you ARE taking care of them. Like the oxygen masks on the plane, you put yours on FIRST then help those around you. Please do this for yourself.

 

:iagree:

 

Yoga is healthy in so many ways, you should go!

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I agree with the others. Do it because it is what's best for you. It's okay to do something good for yourself, something you enjoy. It is not selfish. You will be setting an example for your dc. If it becomes an expense that is harming your family finances, then reevaluate, but if you can afford it, then it is money well spent for your personal physical and mental health.

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Go back to yoga - the money is worth it and the time spent is worth it. When I was growing up, my mom regularly exercised. I didn't - only in gym class. There were times she was frustrated that I didn't work out and was sedentary, but she kept on with her workout routines.

 

Guess what? Her modeling of daily exercise for all those years, through all the various phases of life (young children, independent children, 30's, 40's, 50's) had long-term impact. I joined a gym when my kids were moving out of the toddler phase and started working out several times a week. You know what I find ironic? The age I was when I started doing this was the same age my mom was when I have my earliest memories of her working out :).

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I'm in the same boat. The water aerobics class I need to take is 9-10 AM. PRIME school time. And then when I get home we have to leave for appts 2 of those days; as in by 10:30. And I feel horrible 'abandoning' them during them the prime school time.

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I had a thought about the guilt you feel in reference to your child with cerebral palsy.

 

Think of it this way....instead of feeling bad because your dc won't be able to do those types of poses, consider it your obligation to do yoga because your child can't. To not do yoga or to feel bad about it is doing your dc a disservice. If your child could do those poses, he would. So you owe it to him to do it just because you can. Do it for the both of you!

 

I hope that came across the way I meant it, which is with a big hug.

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