silliness7 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 ds13 has a last minute opportunity to go on an airplane ride with CAP. He has never been on a plane. He claims he does not want to go. He says he's a little afraid of flying and afraid he might vomit. I'm thinking he's associating this with a few of the amusement park rides he's been on. Not a fan of those. dh & I really want him to go but he's starting to dig in his heels. What can I say to convince him? Should I just let him skip it? He is not the most enthusiastic CAP member. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemaker Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I am not sure what CAP is, but if he were mine, I would make him and wouldn't want him to miss out on a great opptunity, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 I am not sure what CAP is, but if he were mine, I would make him and wouldn't want him to miss out on a great opptunity, Sorry...Civil Air Patrol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I have a fear of flying (however irrational it may be....actually, my fear is not of crashing but of heights)....and I would be very upset if someone made me get on an airplane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 If he's anxious, pressure is usually counterproductive. Fact is that he could vomit. It's different in a small plane flying low than it is in a large commercial plane. You could find out how common that is and what is done about it. In other words, give ds info that he would not be the only one and it would be handled in x way. Give him information which might help him recalculate the risks from his point of view. Is there a fear of flying itself? That's a bit harder. He'd have to be motivated to get over it. I wouldn't push him if he doesn't want to go. I would encourage, but not push. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I don't know what to tell him.....I am terrified of flying. I do it when I have to but I really don't like it. Usually I take some calming medicine (homeopathic stuff). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I had been a military helicopter pilot for a few years when I got the opportunity to fly in an F 15 on a full out training mission. The training mission was one plane versus two - and we were the one. I threw up. A lot. I think i may have vomited my spleen and bladder. But it was fun! [in full disclosure - I would not do it again!] I'd recommend you encourage him, and buy him high quality gallon size zip loc bags - to keep in his hand. If he puts the bags in his pocket it will be too late. If you can find Dave Barry's article on flying in a jet it may make him feel better. It's hysterical and may encourage him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 If he's anxious, pressure is usually counterproductive. Fact is that he could vomit. It's different in a small plane flying low than it is in a large commercial plane. You could find out how common that is and what is done about it. In other words, give ds info that he would not be the only one and it would be handled in x way. Give him information which might help him recalculate the risks from his point of view. Is there a fear of flying itself? That's a bit harder. He'd have to be motivated to get over it. I wouldn't push him if he doesn't want to go. I would encourage, but not push. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 The harder we tried to talk him into it, the more he resisted. We thought it best to drop it. I'm disappointed that he missed it. The opportunity will probably come around again for him. But I think he's going to have to get himself on that plane of his own internal motivation. At the point we were at it this afternoon, it seemed like we would lose a deal of parental trust and I didn't want to risk that for a plane ride. We'll just wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I'm petrified of flying...in fact the only time I've been on a plane was when my first son was born and flown to MUSC because he had a heart defect. It was a small jet...and I guess it was mind over matter because that is the only reason I would get on a plane! As irrational as it may be, I would rather drive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I have a horrible fear of flying and I have had to fly many, many times for work in helicopters, small planes, and large jets. I hate, hate, hate it. It doesn't matter how many times I have flown or in what kind of aircraft, I am terrified each time and I hate it. Some people are just not going to enjoy flying no matter what and personally I think it is very callous to suggest that anyone should force someone to fly when that person does NOT want to. Forcing someone to do something under those circumstances is almost abusive, in my opinion. I have a son in the CAP, and he is actually working on becoming a pilot. Good for him, his choice, but NOT for me. Please do not force your reluctant child to fly if he doesn't want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted December 31, 2011 Author Share Posted December 31, 2011 I have a horrible fear of flying and I have had to fly many, many times for work in helicopters, small planes, and large jets. I hate, hate, hate it. It doesn't matter how many times I have flown or in what kind of aircraft, I am terrified each time and I hate it. Some people are just not going to enjoy flying no matter what and personally I think it is very callous to suggest that anyone should force someone to fly when that person does NOT want to. Forcing someone to do something under those circumstances is almost abusive, in my opinion. I have a son in the CAP, and he is actually working on becoming a pilot. Good for him, his choice, but NOT for me. Please do not force your reluctant child to fly if he doesn't want to. Yes, you are right. My dh had a good phone conversation with the Lt. who was organizing the flight and she didn't want him to come if he didn't want to. Not healthy for him, she said. So he's probably not pilot material, though dh says if he ever gets up he might get bitten by "the bug." Plenty of other things to get geeked over. We let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 If he is in CAP, there's plenty of people to talk to about flying...what it's like, how to deal with situations, etc. HOWEVER, pilots are a different breed. (I should know, I'm married to one.) They do not get airsick and often can't relate to anyone who fears getting sick or having a fear of flying. They don't feel turbulence the same way 'normal' humans do. LOL, I once chatted with a professional pilot who said he notices turbulence when the seatbelt leaves bruises. :tongue_smilie: A lot of the FEAR of flying is a fear of small spaces. But more than likely is a fear of loss of control. Building trust in the people at the controls is helpful...all the checklists they go through, all the pre-flight, their experience, their dedication to safety, etc. My dh tells people turbulence is like driving an old pick up down a dirt road...just a rough road in the sky. I find in a small plane having my hands on the controls (but not in control) helps me deal with the motion of the plane. Kinda like feeling the motion of a horse through the reins. (It works for me. :lol:) My son takes dramimine before getting on a plane of any size. In our family, we try to challenge each other in a gentle, supportive way to face things we fear. I go rapelling every summer even though I don't like heights. I feel so TOUGH after. Perhaps you can share with your son times when you faced a sticky or challenging situation and dealt with the fears...and how great you felt when you were done. It's a good life lesson...flying, rapelling, or eventually dealing with a work situation...we all have to learn to gird our loins and do what needs to be done. Happy flying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 HOWEVER, pilots are a different breed. (I should know, I'm married to one.) They do not get airsick and often can't relate to anyone who fears getting sick or having a fear of flying. A lot of the FEAR of flying is a fear of small spaces. Pilots *are* a different breed; my dh is one, too. When we first started dating he wanted me to share his passion for flying. I don't. At all. I will fly in a large passenger jet. That's fine. For me it's just a way to get from here to there. But those little planes? No way! I did that a couple times with dh--they make me very ill. What's funny is dh dislikes small spaces and heights. But flying is a whole 'nother thing and the small spaces and heights don't bother him at all then. Like you said, it's a control issue. In the plane he's in control; he's not in control in an elevator or at the top of a tall building. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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