myfunnybunch Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) If so, do they write them to every gift-giver, or just to grandparents, etc.? How long do they wait before they write them? What age do you stop insisting that they write and leave it up to the child/young adult? If not, does anyone every say anything? :001_smile: No particular reason, just curious. Our general rule is that the kids write to everyone who gave them a gift except dh and I. It's that time, so my kids are writing theirs right now. I give them a couple weeks to finish. Cat Edited December 30, 2011 by myfunnybunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 If so, do they write them to every gift-giver, or just to grandparents, etc.? How long do they wait before they write them? What age do you stop insisting that they write and leave it up to the child/young adult? If not, does anyone every say anything? :001_smile: No particular reason, just curious. Our general rule is that the kids write to everyone who gave them a gift except dh and I. It's that time, so my kids are writing theirs right now, to everyone. I give them a couple weeks to finish. Cat Yes. Everyone. I hope they continue into their adulthood. I think it's important. I talk about how much I appreciate EVERY thank you note I receive. I can only pray it sinks in as they are growing into adulthood! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Dd has to do/finish hers tomorrow. She will be writing 5. One to each grandmother. One to my grandmother and one to each set of friends. She has already written one to her great aunt. So six total. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 The gift-givers are grandparents, aunts, and uncles. All get written thank you, although my kids speak to the giver on the phone after opening. I make them do it within a few weeks. If left up to them, I'm afraid they would not get done. They are 13 and 17.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes. Always. For everything. I suppose I'll continue to make them do it until I know they are doing it themselves. Probably like wearing deodorant. :) :) My mom still calls me to make sure I've written a thank you note to my great aunt after Christmas. It runs in the family. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 They write to the people who send them gifts and aren't there while they are opened. Our family is huge and since they have also given gifts to the same people and everyone says thank you in person, writing would be overkill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 They must write notes to everyone that gives a gift except mom and dad. Last year, dh created a new rule. We unwrapped the gifts Christmas Eve, but the kids couldn't open the gifts until thank you notes were written. This year, they were all written by the end of Christmas day. ETA: Dd copies her note from a parent created sample. Ds has a basic template he follows: "Thank you for XXX. I really like/love it. I can't wait to see you! Love, DS" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes. This year for the first time they did it willingly & happily. Yes, this is a shameless brag, they are all done. :001_smile:I bought them some cute TY cards, as part of my Xmas planning, and they had markers & stickers & stamps to decorate. TYs to all gift givers, yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Mine write thank yous to everyone that gives them a gift, unless they live in our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes, every person, every gift (not dh and I) from the time they can write. We start off having them do a short sentence copywork style, then longer sentences as they can manage it, still copywork style. And after awhile, they can do a nice one on their own, in their own words (usually by around age 7-8). If they have a lot of them to write (they have 8 sets of aunts/uncles and due to divorce, more than two sets of grandparents), then we spread them out over a few wks if we have to (when they're younger), just doing one a day or whatever. I think it is rude to not write a thank-you note when someone was thoughtful enough to send you a present! It is now ingrained into dd12 and she does it on her own, including times that people do something out-of-the-ordinary nice for her, etc. It was HUGE in my family growing up too. I send thank-you's myself for everything. There can't be too much appreciation in the world! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 They must write notes to everyone that gives a gift except mom and dad. Last year, dh created a new rule. We unwrapped the gifts Christmas Eve, but the kids couldn't open the gifts until thank you notes were written. This year, they were all written by the end of Christmas day. ETA: Dd copies her note from a parent created sample. Ds has a basic template he follows: "Thank you for XXX. I really like/love it. I can't wait to see you! Love, DS" yup, yup, and yup!! (to all 3 statements) That is what we do here. This is the first year, at age 12, I made her actually physically write them herself (instead of us doing them together). I had her sign her name and her sister's (she is 8). We also follow this for birthday gifts. robin in NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Mine write thank yous to everyone that gives them a gift, unless they live in our house. :iagree: we have policy. We also send thank yous for birthday gifts - handwritten notes to relatives and a photo card thank you (with a pic from the party) to their friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Mine do, to all gift givers except their father and me. They have a couple of weeks after the event to get it done. Which reminds me....I need to go buy stamps.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes, (Sort of - If I remember) -- Can you PLEASE remind me again when we start school next week and I can fit it in as handwriting practice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 1. Every gift-giver except parents gets a note (even Santa:001_smile:). 2. Must be written within 5 days or you can quit using the gift. 3. While you live in my house (and thus reflect on my standards) you will write notes. Failure to do so will result in me telling gift giver to spend his or her money elsewhere in the future. I try and teach that the note is about courtesy (yes, I received the gift) and gratitude that I am loved and thought of (it has nothing to do with the specific gift). I was really happy today to realize that DS11 had moved past the formulaic "Thank you for x. I like it because of x. I hope you had a good Christmas." The letters were chatty, personal, and sincere! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Not for Christmas because there is no way I could ever keep track of it all! They do write notes from any other gifts all year but I used to stress too much at Christmas. Dh wouldn't take over so now we tr our best to thank either in person or over the phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 We only do thank you cards to people who we didn't see that sent something. :iagree:That makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) Yes, we did ours today. Some years they want to pick their own cards and do individual ones and other years they just share a card. Every single person who gives our family a gift receives a handwritten thank you card. That's true of birthdays, Christmas, etc. I let my son dictate his thank you cards for quite a long time. Even now, I still help him by writing out a template that he copies from. He has dysgraphia and dyslexia and cannot write and think at the same time. LOL. They only had to write five cards this year. They got gifts from both sets of grandparents, two aunts and uncles, and a great aunt. We have no family who live near us and they are never here for a holiday. We might would do thank you's differently if everyone actually saw them open the gift and received a verbal thank you. I don't know. Edited December 30, 2011 by Daisy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Not for Christmas gifts, just birthday gifts. I've never received a thank you note for a Christmas gift from any of my nieces or nephews or goddaughter, either. Didn't know it was expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 No. They call and chat with each gift giver instead. Our family likes this better than the notes. Dds do write notes at odd times throughout the year to these same people, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Nope. I have never, not once in my entire life, either sent or received a thank you card for a Christmas gift. We have a wide range of family, friends, neighbors and co-workers with whom we exchange gifts and it's just NEVER been done. Perhaps because it's all of our gift exchanges are always done in person? No need to send a thank you, IMO, if you were able to graciously thank the giver in person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in MI Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Mine write thank yous to everyone that gives them a gift, unless they live in our house. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Mine do thank you notes for all gift givers at Christmas and Birthday. I help youngest (10) because he doesn't write on his own due to disabilities. Oldest (17) has severe fine motor problems and has typed his thank you notes since he was 7. Despite typing my MIL has complimented him to me on how personal his notes are:). dd (14) types hers because her big brother gets to do it and so I just let her. I don't like it, but it's one of those battles not worth going to for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Not every year. We open at my folks with my brother and his wife there and either my sister and her family come over or we go to their house so the kids always always thank people in person complete with a big hug etc. Some years like this year we do up thank you notes. I bought a pack of form letter type thank you notes, they just had to fill in the name of the giver, and what they received. They each then drew a picture of what they got and added a thank you. We did them after opening presents before going to my sister's place. For all 4 kids it took us like 20 minutes to do them all up, we also dropped ones off at my aunt's house because they got gifts for the kids this year. Other years they do the notes completely on their own no form letter and like I said some years we do not do them. Depends on behaviours, and chaos levels. As long as they give a heartfelt thank you in person I do not worry about them also writing a note. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I substitute thank you notes for copywork after Christmas and birthday. Birthday is really when there are a lot-Christmas is usually only a couple of notes to family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Nope. I have never, not once in my entire life, either sent or received a thank you card for a Christmas gift. We have a wide range of family, friends, neighbors and co-workers with whom we exchange gifts and it's just NEVER. This is us. I didn't know anyone did this. I've never written one for Christmas and I've never received one either (and I have lived in five different states ranging from the West Coast to East Coast ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My college aged son opens his gifts on Christmas morning with a pencil and paper nearby. Writing thank you notes is just something that we have always done and I am happy to see that he has developed the habit. One of his aunts has told me that she loves the short but newsy emails that she receives after she sends him care packages at school. I think he has realized that by keeping her in the loop of his college doings, he is kept in the loop of her generosity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 On my side of the family, no thank you notes if the person is there to get a heart-felt thank you in person. If the giver is not there, it may be a note or it may be a phone call, comment and picture on Facebook, or so forth. On dh's side of the family, written thank you notes are always expected, even when you have to wait a week for them to go home before you can mail the thing :lol: No written thank yous among friends - not my friends, not the kids. We do try to make a point of mentioning the gift again, or posting pics of the gift in use on Facebook or email. For example, my brother didn't come by on Christmas, and we got their gifts today via my mom. I took pics of them all excited and wearing their new bracelets, and will email them. Then one day we will drop by his work so they can tell him how much they like the gifts in person. We mostly do written thanks for big events, when there really isn't time to linger over gifts or appreciation - showers, weddings, graduations. We would all feel a bit silly writing and mailing notes to people who were not only there when the gift was opened and warmly thanked at the time, but who also talk to and see us all the time. Everyone agrees on it, so we're fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Always and til I'm dead and gone at which point I hope they will still do it anyway. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 No. If the gift giver is present when the gift is opened, we say thank you right away. Now that we live far away from our families, we talk on the phone on Christmas day and say thank you then. I've never felt like an additional written "thank you" was necessary. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 We have so many gifters who aren't with us, that this year I feel like the boy's writing skills have advanced enough and I'm going to have them do them this week. Three sets of grandparents and two great-grands means a lot of gifts and while I'm not huge on thank you notes in general, I feel like in the flurry of Christmas, they need to get better at being thankful to each giver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My kids don't write thank yous to people they've thanked in person (so, my parents and siblings because we open as a family and thank them on the spot). They do write thank yous to anyone who has mailed something or given them something outside of our family celebration (in our culture, one doesn't open gifts in front of the giver - my kids get gifts from friends, church people, coaches, etc.) They also write thank yous to anyone who gave money, even if this person was already thanked in person. This is to follow-up with what they've done with the money (bought, saving for, etc.) Most of my in-laws give cash, and in their family culture written thank yous aren't expected. But in my family culture they are, so I make our kids write thank you to his family anyway LOL. We tend to them straight away - within a few days. I insist they're written and stamped before cash/gift cards are spent or checks deposited. We sit down and make an afternoon of it; I write mine, they write theirs ... snacks, radio on, hanging out in front of the fire ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 For those that write thank yous to everyone, do the Aunt's, Uncles, cousins and everyone else send your kids thank you notes as well? We write them for birthday gifts, but never thought to do notes for gift exchanges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Not usually, although I feel pretty guilty about it. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 For those that write thank yous to everyone, do the Aunt's, Uncles, cousins and everyone else send your kids thank you notes as well? We write them for birthday gifts, but never thought to do notes for gift exchanges. We've never received a note back, but for me, it's the principle. If you get a gift, be grateful and give thanks. I consider it good practice for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 For those that write thank yous to everyone, do the Aunt's, Uncles, cousins and everyone else send your kids thank you notes as well? We write them for birthday gifts, but never thought to do notes for gift exchanges. We receive thank yous from my side of the family for pretty much everything (gifts opened in front of each other, gifts mailed, hospitality, etc). We rarely receive them from dh's family. Only his brother and sil's family send thank yous of any kind. If you can cash our check, wear our gift, play with our gift, you can find a way to thank us. I'd prefer written, but in their case, anything (email, FB) that showed some appreciation would be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 yes. I wrote them as a child, still do as an adult and am encouraging my kids to do the same. We did ours today :-) I never hear anything when we say thanks or not(we have missed one year) but I feel better knowing we said thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 No. We thank them in person, or w/ a phone call. My sister used to make her kids write notes for every gift, and frankly, I found it offensive to me. Why? Becuase I'm their aunt. I'm family and I get to spoil them, and I don't require thanks for it. I gave to them out of love. TY notes are very formal, and take away the personal/love in my gift to them. I am not some stranger that requires a formal, cut and dry TY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes, my children write thank you notes for every gift that they receive, except for those from DH and I (although they have been known to write one to us too on their own:001_smile:). We have them in the mail within a week. They will be expected to write them while they live in this house. I would hope that they would continue it once they are on their own. I don't think you should "grow out" of it. I still write thank you notes. I think it is a social nicety that has died off for many, and I don't agree that it should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 We send thank you notes to people who gifted who we don't see. If it's a family gift. (ie. a check for the family, or a tin of homemade cookies) I will send a long personal email and include one or two pictures of the family, or just the kids. Depending on what we have available. If a phone call happens before this is possible I will skip the email UNLESS the person lives really far away and hasn't seen my kids in months. If it's a gift to my kids they have to write a thank you letter. My eldest is 7 1/2. This is the thank you letter he is writing: (He has written one of two) Dear __________ I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Thank you for the money, I'm going to save it. From Eldest My youngest is 6. His form thank you letter is: Dear ________ Merry Christmas. Thank you for the money. From Steven. He has a space to draw a picture above his writing so he must put some effort into a picture. He drew a little house with a Pa, a Ma, and Laura. I do my best to have everything done by the end of the year. I sometimes take a day or two longer then that since I have to go out of my way to mail a letter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes....though DS20 is on his own as to writing thank you notes =- I think he is calling people this year instead. Day after Christmas is Thank You Note Day. Notes get written to anyone who sent them a present who is far away (most are). BTW - my kids are the only ones in the family that consistently write thank you notes and are also the only ones that consistently get presents. Coincidence? I think not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 For those that write thank yous to everyone, do the Aunt's, Uncles, cousins and everyone else send your kids thank you notes as well? We write them for birthday gifts, but never thought to do notes for gift exchanges. My sister's children only write notes to grandparents, and then only because the grandparents hinted that it would be nice to get them. So we don't get thank yous from them. None of the adults in the family write thank you notes except my MIL. She never made dh write thank you notes, but she was so charmed by the notes she got from my kids that she started writing them thank you notes back. :) About half the kids' friends write them thank you notes for the little gifts the boys make for them, but they've usually thanked the boys in person. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My boys just finished the thank you notes. :) For my eldest it was like pulling teeth. He Sulked through it. The only reason I didn't allow myself to get to annoyed is his little brother woke him up at 2am. Little brother wasn't feeling well and woke everyone up crying very loudly. So also both have a bit of a cold. But the boys part is done. :) (Now I just have to get envelopes, find out the address, get stamps, goto the post office.... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 No, he thanks the giver when he receives the gift. When a gift is sent he sometimes thanks the person on the phone, sometimes writes a note that we send and sometimes I just take care of it. This year there was only one gift, from his aunt, uncle and cousins, that came to him indirectly and I sent a thank-you email myself. Although I didn't indicate anything negative about it to my son, it was a ridiculous gift and I think a polite thank-you email from me was adequate. When he's older and has his own email account I will help him send such an email so he knows how to politely respond to such gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Yes, they definitely do TY notes. We draw names for gifts, so mine only have two sets of grandparents and one cousin to write to. No problem. They will write TY notes as long as they live in our home and depend on our income! :D Hopefully that will be long enough to ingrain the habit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 My kids write notes to anyone who sent a gift to our home for them. If it is someone they can thank in person then I do not have them write a note. I think it's important to the gift giver that sent something, to know the gift arrived and was appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 My kids make thank you cards, but I've finally gotten smart about it and have them all work on one card for the same person. There are just so many people who need cards, and then when you multiply that by 3, it gets crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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