k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) So, we have a small dog that we love, but he is VERY attached to DD 11yr. DD 4yr is heartbroken that he won't ever sit or cuddle with her, and instead prefers me or DD 11yr. A good friend of mine one day mentioned that her mom & step dad had a 1yr old Morkie (Yorkie & Maltese mix) that they wanted to get rid of for free. I talked to DH and we decided it would be the PERFECT birthday gift for DD 4yr. Her birthday is January 13th and this would be an essentially free gift that would be the hit of the year. He already has all his shots, is potty trained, etc. I couldn't have asked for things to work out better. Finances are pretty ugly right now (as many of you know) and this was just the perfect solution. We've been brainstorming names for weeks (without DD's knowledge of course). We told DD 11yr, so she's been getting excited and helping us think of names. Well, my friend called me last night to tell me that she didn't talk to her mom for approximately 2 weeks (this is not unusual, as she and her mom do not have a good relationship). Her mom somehow took that to mean that we did not want the dog after all and offered it to my friend's niece. When my friend called her on it and told her that she couldn't do that to my DD, she decided to not give it to anybody and just keep him. So, now I am not only devastated that we aren't getting the dog I had already begun to fall in love with, but I'm out a birthday gift for DD. I'm just so, so sad. ::Stomps feet and screams "It's just not fair!!:: Edited December 23, 2011 by k2bdeutmeyer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 :grouphug: That stinks, is there a chance she'll change her mind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 :grouphug: That stinks, is there a chance she'll change her mind? I dunno?!? I was kind of hoping so, but I'm afraid to get my hopes up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Does she know your dd? A sweet face may be the push she needs. And a few tears wouldn't hurt. Do you have a picture of you little one pining for the puppy? Don't be afraid to guilt her...She deserves it. (I know dd, doesn't really know yet...but.;)>) Anyone have any tried and true methods to get someone to follow through on a promise??? I dunno?!? I was kind of hoping so, but I'm afraid to get my hopes up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Oh, no! I'm so sorry that happened. Is there a chance she will change her mind? :grouphug: Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 Does she know your dd? A sweet face may be the push she needs. And a few tears wouldn't hurt. Do you have a picture of you little one pining for the puppy? Don't be afraid to guilt her...She deserves it. (I know dd, doesn't really know yet...but.;)>) Anyone have any tried and true methods to get someone to follow through on a promise??? Sad part is, she DOES know DD.....and her own granddaughter (my friend's daughter) is one of DD's best friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Many, many dogs need a home, and many shelters know a good family when they see one...I would go visit them and explain what happened and see if they would let you adopt out a pet that would have a forever home, but that you can not afford the adoption fees (which sometimes can be outrageous!) We just brought home a puppy from a shelter, it cost us $100 but we get $50 BACK when we have her spayed ( a local non-profit spays dogs for $35) So, it wasn't so bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 Many, many dogs need a home, and many shelters know a good family when they see one...I would go visit them and explain what happened and see if they would let you adopt out a pet that would have a forever home, but that you can not afford the adoption fees (which sometimes can be outrageous!) We just brought home a puppy from a shelter, it cost us $100 but we get $50 BACK when we have her spayed ( a local non-profit spays dogs for $35) So, it wasn't so bad. I did look at the local shelter's website, and all the dogs they have right now are bigger than we'd want. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 A lot of dogs don't like little kids; especially small dogs. They move too fast and make loud noises. We had that problem here; the dogs avoided our little guy like the plague. Now that he's six and understands that dogs like calm and slow deliberate behavior, things are much better. When your little one gets bigger, your existing pup will probably warm up to her. If it helps at all, know that there's no guarantee that you wouldn't have the same problem even if you got another dog. In fact, then you'd have the whole pack-hierarchy dogs-fighting thing to deal with as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 So, we have a small dog that we love, but he is VERY attached to DD 11yr. DD 4yr is heartbroken that he won't ever sit or cuddle with her, and instead prefers me or DD 11yr. A good friend of mine one day mentioned that her mom & step dad had a 1yr old Morkie (Yorkie & Maltese mix) that they wanted to get rid of for free. I talked to DH and we decided it would be the PERFECT birthday gift for DD 4yr. Her birthday is January 13th and this would be an essentially free gift that would be the hit of the year. He already has all his shots, is potty trained, etc. I couldn't have asked for things to work out better. Finances are pretty ugly right now (as many of you know) and this was just the perfect solution. We've been brainstorming names for weeks (without DD's knowledge of course). We told DD 11yr, so she's been getting excited and helping us think of names. Well, my friend called me last night to tell me that she didn't talk to her mom for approximately 2 weeks (this is not unusual, as she and her mom do not have a good relationship). Her mom somehow took that to mean that we did not want the dog after all and offered it to my friend's niece. When my friend called her on it and told her that she couldn't do that to my DD, she decided to not give it to anybody and just keep him. So, now I am not only devastated that we aren't getting the dog I had already begun to fall in love with, but I'm out a birthday gift for DD. I'm just so, so sad. ::Stomps feet and screams "It's just not fair!!:: We've discovered that the pet feeder gets loved by the pet too. Can you put your dd in charge of feeding the dog for a while? Doe the local humane society have a pet that might work instead? We resuced a dog last January and he's the most loving, friendly, fun, potty trained being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 A lot of dogs don't like little kids; especially small dogs. They move too fast and make loud noises. We had that problem here; the dogs avoided our little guy like the plague. Now that he's six and understands that dogs like calm and slow deliberate behavior, things are much better. When your little one gets bigger, your existing pup will probably warm up to her. If it helps at all, know that there's no guarantee that you wouldn't have the same problem even if you got another dog. In fact, then you'd have the whole pack-hierarchy dogs-fighting thing to deal with as well. Oh, our little guy is VERY laid back and lets the kids do pretty much anything to him. He just is very attached to DD 11yr. The second she walks in the room he gets up from wherever he's laying and goes to sit by her, which crushes DD 4yr when he was originally next to her. He sleeps with DD 11yr. It's just very obvious that he prefers her cuddles - I am his second choice, sniff, sniff. LOL! I used to be #1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 What about calling some of the local rescue organizations? Or does your county have a yahoo group? Maybe post to your local group? I have seen a lot of older (meaning not puppies but ranging in age from 8 mod to 8 years), very sweet (sounding) dogs looking for homes lately on our local group. They all have shots and are potty trained. Someone would be delighted to find a loving home for their pet that they can no longer keep ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Aw Kristin, what a stinky thing for that lady to do. Ugh. Well, I hope she changes her mind, especially if she doesn't even want to keep the dog. Some people... So glad your dd doesn't know about any of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) Does she know your dd? A sweet face may be the push she needs. And a few tears wouldn't hurt. Do you have a picture of you little one pining for the puppy? Don't be afraid to guilt her...She deserves it. (I know dd, doesn't really know yet...but.;)>) Anyone have any tried and true methods to get someone to follow through on a promise??? How is the dog owner the bad guy here? When did she promise the dog to the OP? Maybe I'm misreading, but an offer is not a promise. It sounds to me that the friend is the one who didn't follow through and is the cause of the mix-up. The dog owner made a reasonable assumption when she heard nothing after offering the dog and is now in an awkward position. I can totally understand keeping the dog to avoid more drama. Sorry for the disappointment, OP. Edited December 23, 2011 by WordGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 As long as dd didn't know about it, it might be just as well - the humans can say it's her dog all they want, but the dog is just as likely to bond to someone else as the first one! Doggies just don't understand ;) I hope you find another cool gift for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 How is the dog owner the bad guy here? When did she promise the dog to the OP? Maybe I'm misreading, but an offer is not a promise. It sounds to me that the friend is the one who didn't follow through and is the cause of the mix-up. The dog owner made a reasonable assumption when she heard nothing after offering the dog and is now in an awkward position. I can totally understand keeping the dog to avoid more drama. Sorry for the disappointment, OP. Friend offered dog to me. Called her parents to make sure they still wanted to get rid of him. They said yes. I talked to DH. We agreed to take him. Told friend. Friend called mom said we wanted him and would get back with her about a specific drop off/pickup plan. We told friend we decided birthday would be better than Christmas. Friend called her mom. Again, agreed we'd work out a drop off plan closer to the birthday. Insert 2 weeks of no talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 I realize that he could've bonded with anybody, but we did have a plan in place to ensure the best chances of bonding with DD. We had planned to all step back and let DD do most of the cuddling, doting, feeding, etc to try to foster a strong bond between her and the new dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) Check the paper and local vet offices. Pet owners' life situations sometimes change (financial, move, apt doesn't allow pets, allergies, original owner dies or becomes incapacitated), and they end up giving pets away for free to a good home. Some people would rather find a home for a pet than risk taking one to the shelter. ETA: If you have FB, use it to advertise your wish for dd. Allow friends to repost to their feed so more people see it. You never know who might need to find a home for his or her pet. ETAA: Oooo! Just thought of something. Pets are popular Christmas presents, and then sometimes - quite unfortunately - found not to be a fit for their new families, so each year there is an increase in unwanted animals at this time of year. You have a couple of weeks until dd's bday, so you might be in luck if you are willing to look at other pet options. P.S. I agree with you that your current situation stinks, and I'd be sad, too. I do believe things happen for a reason, though, so perhaps there is another animal out there that would be a better friend for your little one. Edited December 23, 2011 by kimmie38017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I realize that he could've bonded with anybody, but we did have a plan in place to ensure the best chances of bonding with DD. We had planned to all step back and let DD do most of the cuddling, doting, feeding, etc to try to foster a strong bond between her and the new dog. Since you've thought this all out so well, would you be open to trying to find a different dog? Dd hadn't seen the dog so there's no attachment there. There are often free pets listed in the newspaper that people can't keep for various reasons. It would take more work on your part to weed through them and find a fit, but maybe you could still give her a dog for her birthday like you had hoped. Just thought I'd throw that out there...you may have already considered this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Friend offered dog to me. Called her parents to make sure they still wanted to get rid of him. They said yes. I talked to DH. We agreed to take him. Told friend. Friend called mom said we wanted him and would get back with her about a specific drop off/pickup plan. We told friend we decided birthday would be better than Christmas. Friend called her mom. Again, agreed we'd work out a drop off plan closer to the birthday. Insert 2 weeks of no talking. Ah. That does stink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 If you're determined to take the chance that this dog will somehow bond with your child, and are willing to deal with the ruckus involved in adding a dog to the house, I'd like to strongly recommend an older puppy or VERY young adult, to at least increase the chances that it won't be set in its ways. Adopting a pet in the hopes that it will bond with a particular person is a very risky bet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 First, I am sorry it didn't work out. We've also had similar experiences with the same sort of thing. No matter what it's over, it stinks. I realize that he could've bonded with anybody, but we did have a plan in place to ensure the best chances of bonding with DD. We had planned to all step back and let DD do most of the cuddling, doting, feeding, etc to try to foster a strong bond between her and the new dog. Letting her feed might have helped, but my Maltese just does not like younger children, and I hear that a lot with little dogs. He tolerates my 6 year old and we are working on him snapping at other kids, but he prefers about 10-12 and up. And yes, he must be able to judge age. He wants to sit and be gently held, petted and snuggled. Not carried, lugged, dressed up, laid on, hugged, twirled, chased, bounced etc... He tolerates it from my 6 year old and has never even snapped at her (dd isn't malicious or THAT rough, but she is exuberant) but he runs off as soon as he is put down. Now our boxer....loves to be used as a pillow. I feed them both, but the boxer seems to love everyone the same. The entire family knows the pecking order for the Maltese.... Starts with me, then dh, then it goes down by age. Both of my dogs hold pretty true to breed descriptions for kid interaction, so if your dog becomes a possibility....double check your research on how appropriate they are for little kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Maybe it is a blessing in disguise. Dogs are expensive. One visit can set you back several hundred dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 I don't mean to argue....really I don't. Nor do I mean to keep adding information, because I do realize I really couldn't ever know exactly how it would go, but.... Being as though this dog was my friend's mom's dog, she knows him pretty well. He's been around her children a LOT and gave me plenty of information on that front. The fact of the matter is that I'm disappointed. That's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Oh, I'm sorry. That makes this even more heartbreaking. Sad part is, she DOES know DD.....and her own granddaughter (my friend's daughter) is one of DD's best friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I hope you find the dog you're looking for; Happy Holidays! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 So sorry. Praying for resolution or something even better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 By the way Kristin, did you ever get that wallet you wanted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 By the way Kristin, did you ever get that wallet you wanted? No :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 When I read your post the first time, my heart broke for you guys. I wanted to request you rescue a puppy for her, but even rescues run expensive these days. I'm sorry. :sad: Maybe check local newspapers, craigslist, etc. for free puppies? Then have puppy cared for solely by her. It will bond with her. It's a thought anyway.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 When I read your post the first time, my heart broke for you guys. I wanted to request you rescue a puppy for her, but even rescues run expensive these days. I'm sorry. :sad: Maybe check local newspapers, craigslist, etc. for free puppies? Then have puppy cared for solely by her. It will bond with her. It's a thought anyway.... I did quite a bit of that this morning :) I'll keep looking. Don't know really what we want to do right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I did quite a bit of that this morning :) I'll keep looking. Don't know really what we want to do right now. how much are rescues on petfinder.com? Have you considered a kitten? Cats can be very different, though, and can be very independent. I have a cat I can't STAND. NOBODY in this house likes her but dd12. And that cat is an ANGEL with dd. The cat only grows horns when dd's not around. :scared: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I'm so sorry. I'd be disappointed too. We found our dog on Craigslist. I watched it for a few weeks and found the perfect one. Petfinder was good too but I had a better experience going with a regular owner than shelters/rescues. And he was free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 how much are rescues on petfinder.com? Have you considered a kitten? Cats can be very different, though, and can be very independent. I have a cat I can't STAND. NOBODY in this house likes her but dd12. And that cat is an ANGEL with dd. The cat only grows horns when dd's not around. :scared: Funny! Cats have funny personalities. Unfortunately, I'm severely allergic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Maybe get dog supplies for her birthday and search craigslist till you find the one you want. We looked for 4 months last year till we found our little chi. She was $35 and spayed and up to date on vaccines. Of course she prefers dh to anybody but she will let my 3 yo lock her in her crate when we leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Maybe get dog supplies for her birthday and search craigslist till you find the one you want. We looked for 4 months last year till we found our little chi. She was $35 and spayed and up to date on vaccines. Of course she prefers dh to anybody but she will let my 3 yo lock her in her crate when we leave. And, as sad as it is, after Christmas is probably a great time to find a puppy at the shelter, small ones included because people think a puppy is the PERFECT gift. And the recipient wonders what the heck was he thinking? getting me a DOG? I'd start putting feelers out next week, to the shelters, vets etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I'm sorry that things worked out this way. Have you considered calling her (I didn't read all the posts)? I would share with her what you told us and see what happens. I do hope it all works out for you all. Keep your eyes open on the Craiglist's postings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Have you considered seeing it as a blessing. There's no guarantee another dog won't also prefer her sister. That might be too much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 :grouphug: You'd be surprised by how many will pop up in the local shelters by January. Christmas pets are often long forgotten by then.. it's a sad reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I used to work for an animal shelter and the best time to find small dogs was right AFTER the holidays. Unfortunately, the cute pups (and kitties) that make lovely holiday photos become too much trouble to train and care for after the novelty wears off. Since her bday in in Jan you can probably find a nice little shelter pup with no problems. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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