Did anyone watch Dr. Phil today? <My Princess Boy>

[parias1126]

I was truly touched by this mother's acceptance for her son. What an amazing woman! I am not sure how I myself would deal with the situation, but only because I'm not in the situation with my boys (or girls). I do know I would love my children for whomever they are or whoever they want to be.

 

I know this is a very touchy subject in today's society. Children (and adults) can be so mean.

 

I honestly believe everyone should be able to be who they want to be and that starts at a very early age. We may be able to direct our children in the right direction and help them to make right decisions early on, but in the end.....they are who they are.

 

The mother on the show wrote a book about her son directed towards children called My Princess Boy. You can read the first page on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/My-Princess-Boy-Cheryl-Kilodavis/dp/1442429887/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

It basically sends the message of having acceptance for everyone no matter who they are!

 

For those of you who didn't see it, it was about a little boy who is 4 who wants to wear dresses, loves pink, and wanted to be a princess for Halloween. His mother was hesitant at first and her older son said, "Mom, why can't he just be happy?". After discussing the situation with psychologists, etc., she is letting her son be who he wants to be wherever that may lead.

 

This is just one less child that has to grow up hiding because his parents/society don't accept who he is. Props to this mom!!

Edited December 23, 2011 by parias1126

[elizabeth]

I do not watch Dr Phil but am pleased to see that acceptance and tolerance are being fostered rather than the opposite.

[kitten18]

 

For those of you who didn't see it, it was about a little boy who is 4 who wants to wear dresses, loves pink, and wanted to be a princess for Halloween. His mother was hesitant at first and her older son said, "Mom, why can't he just be happy?" after discussing the situation with psychologists, etc., she is letting her son be who he wants to be wherever that may lead.

 

This is just one less child that has to grow up hiding because his parents/society don't accept who he is. Props to this mom!!

I didn't see it, but it sounds like it was very sweet.

[Ipsey]

I was truly touched by this mother's acceptance for her son. What an amazing woman! I am not sure how I myself would deal with the situation, but only because I'm not in the situation with my boys (or girls). I do know I would love my children for whomever they are or whoever they want to be.

 

 

I don't watch Dr. Phil either, but this put me in mind of this wonderful article.

 

http://articles.boston.com/2011-12-11/lifestyle/30512365_1_twin-boys-transgender-jonas

 

Twin boys. . .except one is a girl. They're 13 now, they have a wonderful father and mother, and it talks about the struggles the family has gone through trying to understand. The brother was the one who understood his "sister" first, and told his parents that they had one son and one daughter. An amazing, touching story.

 

Really amazing to see the father's reaction and the challenges and acceptance.

 

So encouraging!

[Halcyon]

My son is a "Princess Boy" and we love that book here :)

[parias1126]

My son is a "Princess Boy" and we love that book here :)

 

I was thinking of purchasing it just to teach my children acceptance. I'm glad to hear that someone has a copy and has enjoyed it.

[Spryte]

Wow. I don't watch TV often, but wish I'd seen this. So happy to hear it was positive!

 

We'll be getting a copy of Princess Boy for our house, too. :)

 

Very grateful for this thread, good to read about others with boys who lean to the princess side.

[parias1126]

Wow. I don't watch TV often, but wish I'd seen this. So happy to hear it was positive!

 

We'll be getting a copy of Princess Boy for our house, too. :)

 

Very grateful for this thread, good to read about others with boys who lean to the princess side.

 

It struck a nerve with me because I have a 4 year old who has his own American Girl Bitty Twin ( the boy doll) who he sleeps with every night. We took a vacation to Atlanta and everyone addressed him as a "she". Why can't a boy have a doll? How is it different from a stuffed animal or a pillow pet??

 

A year or so ago he wanted a play vacuum cleaner. He asked me for the pink one at Target. I bought it. I didn't see a problem with it. He was 3 then. I don't think pink is necessarily a girl's color or blue is necessarily a boy's color. Now that he is almost 5, he said the other day, "I can't have that mom because pink is for girls!" I responded, "Boys can have pink things too!". He is still very boyish and plays with boys toys too, but he will play barbies with his sister and even has his own Ken doll which he asked for one day at Target because his sister didn't want to share.

 

Weren't boys and MEN just sporting pink shirt a couple years ago??

[Parrothead]

It struck a nerve with me because I have a 4 year old who has his own American Girl Bitty Twin ( the boy doll) who he sleeps with every night. We took a vacation to Atlanta and everyone addressed him as a "she". Why can't a boy have a doll? How is it different from a stuffed animal or a pillow pet??

 

A year or so ago he wanted a play vacuum cleaner. He asked me for the pink one at Target. I bought it. I didn't see a problem with it. He was 3 then. I don't think pink is necessarily a girl's color or blue is necessarily a boy's color. Now that he is almost 5, he said the other day, "I can't have that mom because pink is for girls!" I responded, "Boys can have pink things too!". He is still very boyish and plays with boys toys too, but he will play barbies with his sister and even has his own Ken doll which he asked for one day at Target because his sister didn't want to share.

 

Weren't boys and MEN just sporting pink shirt a couple years ago??

Now this is where I get mixed feelings about things like this. I don't see anything wrong with letting a boy have a doll or a vacuum or even wearing nail polish like his mom or sister.

 

I get upset when it is pushed upon the little boy (or girl). Something along the lines of this being said about a 3-year old, "Oh, look he has a dolly. He must be gay." Then the parents push the agenda of his being gay when in all reality the little guy just wanted to play with the doll for a bit.

[parias1126]

Now this is where I get mixed feelings about things like this. I don't see anything wrong with letting a boy have a doll or a vacuum or even wearing nail polish like his mom or sister.

 

I get upset when it is pushed upon the little boy (or girl). Something along the lines of this being said about a 3-year old, "Oh, look he has a dolly. He must be gay." Then the parents push the agenda of his being gay when in all reality the little guy just wanted to play with the doll for a bit.

 

I completely agree with you on this. I don't think it's an issue parents should push at all, but there is a great difference in a boy tat wants to play with a girls toy every so often because his sisters do and a child that may be transgender.

[Halcyon]

I completely agree with you on this. I don't think it's an issue parents should push at all, but there is a great difference in a boy tat wants to play with a girls toy every so often because his sisters do and a child that may be transgender.

 

And there is a vast middle ground between a boy that plays with girls toys "because his sisters do" and a child being transgender.

[parias1126]

And there is a vast middle ground between a boy that plays with girls toys "because his sisters do" and a child being transgender.

 

I'm confused. Maybe I shouldn't had said "girl's toy"? I should had said what society considers a girl's toy? :confused:

[Parrothead]

And there is a vast middle ground between a boy that plays with girls toys "because his sisters do" and a child being transgender.

Isn't that way she said?

[parias1126]

Isn't that way she said?

 

That's what I was thinking.:confused:

[Halcyon]

That's what I was thinking.:confused:

 

I'm sorry. The way I interpreted what you said was "Just because a boy wants to play with his sister's toys once in while doesn't mean he's transgendered." I wanted to clarify that a boy can have no sisters, prefer to play with girls' toys the majority of the time, like girls' clothing and prefer girls as playmates, and yet not be transgendered.

 

If that's what you meant, then please excuse me--I'm tired from too much Christmas shopping ;)

Edited December 24, 2011 by Halcyon

[Cammie]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately...mostly due to cases of suicide I read about. I want to figure out how to raise my children so that they KNOW from an early age that no matter what...really no matter what...they will always have our love and support. If my child is gay, I want him to never fear telling us. I would want him to always know, deep down, that he is loved for who he is and that nothing would ever change that. I want my children to know that they can share their true selves with us at any time. These parents that were discussed above I think are great role models for me in trying to express to my children our unconditional love and acceptence of them as people.

[Parrothead]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately...mostly due to cases of suicide I read about. I want to figure out how to raise my children so that they KNOW from an early age that no matter what...really no matter what...they will always have our love and support. If my child is gay, I want him to never fear telling us. I would want him to always know, deep down, that he is loved for who he is and that nothing would ever change that. I want my children to know that they can share their true selves with us at any time. These parents that were discussed above I think are great role models for me in trying to express to my children our unconditional love and acceptence of them as people.

I think the best way to do that is to keep the lines of communication open. Also show them with hugs and kisses and by spending time with them that they are valuable to you.

[Parrothead]

I'm sorry. The way I interpreted what you said was "Just because a boy wants to play with his sister's toys once in while doesn't mean he's transgendered." I wanted to clarify that a boy can have no sisters, prefer to play with girls' toys the majority of the time, like girls' clothing and prefer girls as playmates, and yet not be transgendered.

 

If that's what you meant, then please excuse me--I'm tired from too much Christmas shopping ;)

Thanks for explaining.

 

(I think what you said and what she said are two different truths.)

[Cammie]

I think the best way to do that is to keep the lines of communication open. Also show them with hugs and kisses and by spending time with them that they are valuable to you.

 

 

:001_smile: I hope so, Parrothead, I really do! I have read some very sad stories about kids who had so much fear in coming out to their parents. I would never want a child of mine to suffer so much in worrying about how we would react. I think my children understand our beliefs and our philosophy. I think they get that we are open and loving and accepting people. I just hope it makes their roads a little easier.

[Spryte]

I just need to say again how deeply grateful I am to see this thread. This is a topic that runs through my head often.

 

My kiddo, too, has toys that some might consider "girlish" but then... He also has a ton of "boy" toys. I'd say, actually, he's more balanced than most kids because he's interested in both. But... that interest marks him as slightly different, and I see that he is becoming more aware of that difference. And I also see his gratitude when we are clearly accepting of whatever he chooses to play on any given day.

 

At his age, I can't begin to predict who he will become as he matures - I only know that we will all love and support him, where ever his path leads.

[Parrothead]

:001_smile: I hope so, Parrothead, I really do! I have read some very sad stories about kids who had so much fear in coming out to their parents. I would never want a child of mine to suffer so much in worrying about how we would react. I think my children understand our beliefs and our philosophy. I think they get that we are open and loving and accepting people. I just hope it makes their roads a little easier.

Also I think if a close family member is different in some way those close to him/her will know. I remember when my family member told me about being different the first thing I said was, "I know that. Now tell me about ..."

[Mergath]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately...mostly due to cases of suicide I read about. I want to figure out how to raise my children so that they KNOW from an early age that no matter what...really no matter what...they will always have our love and support. If my child is gay, I want him to never fear telling us. I would want him to always know, deep down, that he is loved for who he is and that nothing would ever change that. I want my children to know that they can share their true selves with us at any time. These parents that were discussed above I think are great role models for me in trying to express to my children our unconditional love and acceptence of them as people.

 

I read an article once- no idea whatsoever where it was from- but someone had done a study, and the children that grew up to be the most tolerant and accepting of difference and open with their families were kids that came from families where difference was openly discussed. In other words, don't just not talk about gays or people of other ethnic backgrounds or whatever because you think that not drawing attention to the difference equals acceptance, but frequently discuss the many ways in which people are different and how that's a good thing.

 

Hope that made some kind of sense.

[parias1126]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately...mostly due to cases of suicide I read about. I want to figure out how to raise my children so that they KNOW from an early age that no matter what...really no matter what...they will always have our love and support. If my child is gay, I want him to never fear telling us. I would want him to always know, deep down, that he is loved for who he is and that nothing would ever change that. I want my children to know that they can share their true selves with us at any time. These parents that were discussed above I think are great role models for me in trying to express to my children our unconditional love and acceptence of them as people.

:iagree:

[parias1126]

I'm sorry. The way I interpreted what you said was "Just because a boy wants to play with his sister's toys once in while doesn't mean he's transgendered." I wanted to clarify that a boy can have no sisters, prefer to play with girls' toys the majority of the time, like girls' clothing and prefer girls as playmates, and yet not be transgendered.

 

If that's what you meant, then please excuse me--I'm tired from too much Christmas shopping ;)

Simple miscommunication. It happens. I totally know how you feel with the too much Christmas shopping! I was relieved to be finished wrapping about an hour ago! :001_smile:

[Hannah C.]

I don't think pink is necessarily a girl's color or blue is necessarily a boy's color.

 

IIRC, it was the other way around in the late 1800s - pink was for boys, and blue was for girls. I think I read this in a Little House book or something similar, but can't recall now.