MamaT Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I just sent my 13yo ds to his room for attitude - again. This is my fourth son to go through this stage, and I am too old (and tired) to deal with this cr*p. He gets into grumpy disrespectful mode and is too stubborn to stop, even when he knows the hammer is coming down. This part of parenting is just NO fun. It doesn't help that his little sister, who is just 9 months younger, takes her cues from him and picks up the attitude. Oh well, at least it's quiet with both of them sitting in their rooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendall Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 One thing I did with a few of mine is to assign work that I needed done instead of sending them to their room. Not only were they out of my hair for awhile, they were getting things done for me! I had a really clean/organized house for awhile with one of them, which helped to improve my attitude. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Oh well, at least it's quiet with both of them sitting in their rooms. Well, except mine put a hole in his wall a couple of weeks ago. ( By throwing his Geometry book at it!!!) Sigh... he will be learning about drywalling with dad this weekend. I'm right there with you!! Unfortunately, he is 14. But he is better than he was at 13. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 One thing I did with a few of mine is to assign work that I needed done instead of sending them to their room. Not only were they out of my hair for awhile, they were getting things done for me! I had a really clean/organized house for awhile with one of them, which helped to improve my attitude. LOL! How do you pull that off? Ds gripes and complains the whole time. He does a shoddy job, then gripes and complains when I make him fix it. The whole thing is just a big mess and he ends up grounded because of his attitude and reaction to the assigned chore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 How do you pull that off? Ds gripes and complains the whole time. He does a shoddy job, then gripes and complains when I make him fix it. The whole thing is just a big mess and he ends up grounded because of his attitude and reaction to the assigned chore. Yep. I have that same problem here, except he loses his ipod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 How do you pull that off? Ds gets hard physical labor here. Weeding and raking in general. It doesn't matter too much if he doesn't do that great of a job (he rarely does) because it will look better than when nothing gets done, and generally nothing gets done. We have 2 small bathrooms in our house. One has a tiny shower. One has a bathtub. The males in the family prefer baths, and I prefer the shower, so I have my own bathroom. :hurray: For a while, the grout in my bathroom was looking really bad. I kept asking ds to misbehave because I didn't want to have to scrub the grout myself. I think the idea of scrubbing grout with a toothbrush kept him in line for about 4 months. I finally scrubbed it myself. Apparently, ds told his best friend one time that he was grounded. Mom knew ds was lying b/c he is never grounded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 At least I'm not alone - and I know this will end. My other 3 came out of it around 15 or 16. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Ds gets hard physical labor here. Weeding and raking in general. It doesn't matter too much if he doesn't do that great of a job (he rarely does) because it will look better than when nothing gets done, and generally nothing gets done. We have 2 small bathrooms in our house. One has a tiny shower. One has a bathtub. The males in the family prefer baths, and I prefer the shower, so I have my own bathroom. :hurray: For a while, the grout in my bathroom was looking really bad. I kept asking ds to misbehave because I didn't want to have to scrub the grout myself. I think the idea of scrubbing grout with a toothbrush kept him in line for about 4 months. I finally scrubbed it myself. Apparently, ds told his best friend one time that he was grounded. Mom knew ds was lying b/c he is never grounded. Ah, so it's about my expectations! Don't give him a chore that I want done perfectly. I can try that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendall Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 (edited) Yes, definitely lower expectations and for me I was giving jobs that weren't going to get done otherwise, or jobs that were going to get done poorly by a younger child anyway. I even gave organizational jobs, organize the freezer, organize the linen closet, any organization was going to be better than what I had! I also tried to write it down so that I didn't have to speak to the child, since usually at the time I didn't feel like speaking to them nicely:). My child that did the most extra jobs is now, both at church and at work, a highly respected, responsible 17 year old. At home the negative attitude is rare and brief. When he was younger I would have had a very hard time believing any of this possible. Edited December 16, 2011 by Kendall Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clover11 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 One thing I did with a few of mine is to assign work that I needed done instead of sending them to their room. Not only were they out of my hair for awhile, they were getting things done for me! I had a really clean/organized house for awhile with one of them, which helped to improve my attitude. LOL! That's what I do as well! Dishes, cleaning, yard work, laundry... it benefits me and teaches him a lesson :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 (edited) Today I finally told my ds that it is time he began taking schooling more seriously. It was one of those days... stress, bills, doctors appt, etc. Came home to a grumpy teen blaming me for forgetting to buy a $10 gift card for an online game. I was like, "Excuse me?" :glare: Schoolwork was not done. He did not unload the dishwasher. Dishes were in the sink. His bathroom (which he cleans periodically) is a mess. I came home and before I could fix dinner (by then I had a pounding headache due to the earlier stress) -- I had to unload the dishwasher and put the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher. My ds sat in a chair and gave me attitude. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I did not yell. I stopped what I was doing and looked directly at him. He froze and saw "the look" -- and then I calmly began to tell him what (in my opinion) was wrong with this situation. How our day should not be ruined due to one omission on his parent's part. And the fact the world does not revolve around video games or tv for that matter. I told him he needs to begin pulling some weight around the house and stop treating me like a lackey or servant. He sat there quietly. Hubby was in the other room doing a bible study. I tried to put away a couple of more dishes, but inside was upset emotionally at my son's attitude for the last couple of days. Finally went into the office where hubby was studying. Tried to change the subject with what he was studying. After that, I asked him if I was wrong to speak to ds about his grumpy attitude to chores and school. Hubby spoke up and said, "Nope. He needed to hear that. He had it coming." ;) I came out of the office to find ds in his bedroom (doing what he should have been doing instead of watching tv -- studying) and we had a talk. I was surprised to hear out of his mouth some concession that I was right about the not taking school more seriously (WOW... :001_huh:) and that he did not know why he was so irritable lately. I reminded him that adolescence brings times of ups & downs emotionally due to hormones. But it did not give him a right to take it out on us. I apologized for blowing my fuse and before you knew it, we were both giggling. I asked him for input on the situation to make it better. It ended with a revised schedule with all of us agreeing on terms. He finished studying and we call tomorrow the start of VACATION. But on Jan 2nd, he needs to buckle down with his studies. And pitch in on chores ASAP. (He took out the trash tonight and tomorrow he has bathroom duty.) Tough day. But I am sure proud of my teen for that moment when he got that wake up call. It sure is not an easy job parenting. Edited December 17, 2011 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Ds gets hard physical labor here. Weeding and raking in general. It doesn't matter too much if he doesn't do that great of a job (he rarely does) because it will look better than when nothing gets done, and generally nothing gets done. We have 2 small bathrooms in our house. One has a tiny shower. One has a bathtub. The males in the family prefer baths, and I prefer the shower, so I have my own bathroom. :hurray: For a while, the grout in my bathroom was looking really bad. I kept asking ds to misbehave because I didn't want to have to scrub the grout myself. I think the idea of scrubbing grout with a toothbrush kept him in line for about 4 months. I finally scrubbed it myself. Apparently, ds told his best friend one time that he was grounded. Mom knew ds was lying b/c he is never grounded. This is what ds gets tomorrow. Full detail work on toilet and bathtub. He has to do floors and counters. Then he works on his bedroom with new sheets and laundry. I call it training for bachelorhood. I tend to be the supervisor and call out areas he overlooked. *grin* :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 LOL! I was just telling someone yesterday that I hoped to survive the last one. What he considers his "sense of humor" is just plain obnoxiousness. But I tell myself that this, too, shall pass as it did with the 3 boys who went before him. But I'm right there with you about being too old to deal with it all. It makes me tired... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasthenia Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Don't be discouraged - he needs this and it's part of growing up. Just because he's your fourth son to give you the "blues" means his needs are less than that of his brothers. He will thank you for this when he grows up and becomes mature - all in good time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 Don't be discouraged - he needs this and it's part of growing up. Just because he's your fourth son to give you the "blues" means his needs are less than that of his brothers. He will thank you for this when he grows up and becomes mature - all in good time. I am very aware that he needs my attention as much as his brothers did, and he is getting it. I was just stating the fact that this was not quite as easy at 48, when I seem to have a little less energy, than it was at 34 with my oldest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasthenia Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I am very aware that he needs my attention as much as his brothers did, and he is getting it. I was just stating the fact that this was not quite as easy at 48, when I seem to have a little less energy, than it was at 34 with my oldest. I understand. Does he have younger brothers/sisters? And can the older ones help you out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiobrain Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 My 13 yo boy is driving me crazy, and now my 11 yo is starting to fill in the gaps. ARG! I wonder if I can survive 2-3 years of this. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 My 13 yo boy is driving me crazy, and now my 11 yo is starting to fill in the gaps. ARG! I wonder if I can survive 2-3 years of this. :tongue_smilie: Look at my siggy. I have a 12yo, 13yo, and 14yo right now. I feel like I'm being punished for something. :001_smile: I feel your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in SEVA Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :bigear: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And also: :willy_nilly::scared::crying::banghead::cursing: (This is me afraid of 5 teenage boys) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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