What does Aspergers look like in a 5 year old?

[Heather in Neverland]

I have a student who just turned 5 that I would bet my eye teeth has Asperger's Syndrome. But I could be wrong. So what does Asperger's look like in a 5yo?

 

The problem is that this is an Asian family and in my experience here, they do not take any suggestion that something might be wrong or different about their kid well. At. All. There is major shame and denial and anger. Often they will just withdraw their children from the school rather than have them assessed. It is very sad.

 

Add to that the very limited services available here due to the reluctance on the community's part to even admit that such things exist, and I have quite a conundrum.

 

This child needs intervention. I am at a loss as to how to handle this.

[Zebra]

Not making eye contact is a big one. But, that can be other things too.

 

Hyperfocused is another thing. People with AS usually have one topic they are very, very into. My sister has AS and all she talked about was animals, and still does to this day. It doesn't seem unusual that a kid would be really into animals, but she knew everything about animals, every tiny fact about every animal, and that is all she would talk about. My cousin's kid talked about vacuum cleaners constantly. Every time he went to someone's house he wanted to look at and talk about their vacuum cleaner. Every kid(and adult!) goes through phases like this, but it's when they can't seem to talk about anything else, ever. Or they bring every conversation back to their obsession. Or, when you aren't talking about their obesssion they just get up and leave.

[Jennifer in MI]

Yup - no eye contact, hyper-focused.

 

My son, at that age, when he would get overwhelmed he would go hide. Under a chair, behind my legs, in another room. He would grunt at people when he felt uncomfortable.

 

He was VERY awkward socially (obviously!). He stood too close to kids. He tried to take over their games. He talked too much about his obsession (rocketry).

 

Are there any resources for him at all? My son did SO well with therapy. He's now 15.5 and I don't think people who just meet him have any idea.

[Chris in VA]

Be aware it may present differently in different kids.

Mine is ok with eye contact.

 

Having one subject that is the topic of conversation is very common.

Sometimes having difficulty with transitions is present, and the child may appear anxious about upcoming changes.

 

Aspies can look shy, or can look overly outgoing.

 

Sensory issues are often present, too--both seeking and avoiding.

[Carrie12345]

You don't use any gender identifying pronouns so, in addition to pointing out that every kid with AS can present differently, know that girls can present very differently from boys.

 

A diagnosis isn't likely to help too much, since there's no one-size solutions. Depending on how strongly your hands are tied, I'd say focus on the specific issues you've noticed and do whatever you might try for those issues in any child. Aspergers and the Elementary Experience is a decent reference book, and absolutely anything written by Tony Attwood can be helpful.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

At 5, my son would have a complete and utter meltdown if he thought something was being done in a "wrong" way. He walked around in circles when talking, and walked everywhere (including in circles) on his tiptoes. Still does these things. He desperately wanted friends, but couldn't get other kids to play exactly how he wanted them to play, and was obstinate about it, so no one wanted to play with him. He complained about loud noises, was phobic about lots of different things. He will make eye contact, but does obsessively talk about his passion of the day. Has NO CLUE when someone is not at all interested in what he has to say. He did and still will get very uncomfortable, to the point of having a meltdown, if other people are angry or upset. He needs an even keel at all times. He has/had an unusually large vocabulary and seems/seemed extremely bright, but can make something seemingly simple into a big, hairy deal and claim not to understand it at all.

 

ETA: I did get an IEP for my son, just to see how the school would handle him differently once we did get the diagnosis. Since he seeks movement, they would let him stand at his desk and let him walk around while talking. They would give him "Cool Down" passes. He could hand in a pass when things seemed out of his control and he could go to a quiet spot by himself. They would also place him in a social skills learning group. The group would be a mix of typical and socially challenged kids and they would have directed play and redirection of certain behaviors. If I were you, I would just try to figure out what might make school easier for this particular kid and try to teach him some social skills.

Edited December 13, 2011 by thescrappyhomeschooler

[ereks mom]

At 5, my son would have a complete and utter meltdown if he thought something was being done in a "wrong" way. He walked around in circles when talking, and walked everywhere (including in circles) on his tiptoes. Still does these things. He desperately wanted friends, but couldn't get other kids to play exactly how he wanted them to play, and was obstinate about it, so no one wanted to play with him. He complained about loud noises, was phobic about lots of different things. He will make eye contact, but does obsessively talk about his passion of the day. Has NO CLUE when someone is not at all interested in what he has to say. He did and still will get very uncomfortable, to the point of having a meltdown, if other people are angry or upset. He needs an even keel at all times. He has/had an unusually large vocabulary and seems/seemed extremely bright, but can make something seemingly simple into a big, hairy deal and claim not to understand it at all.

 

This sounds just like all the Aspie kids I know, particularly the bolded. The Aspies I know tend to be very immature; they just don't get social interaction, and they had/have toddler-like meltdowns well into their school-age years. They're often highly intelligent, although they may have learning disabilities that hinder their academic progress. Chris in VA mentioned having difficulty with transitions; this is really common. For example, one boy I know would have complete meltdowns when it came time to go home after a playdate. He also had the sensory issues she mentioned as well. One thing (among many) that stands out in my mind is that he could not tolerate the feel of crayons. He also had irrational fears; one thing I remember is that he was terrified of clowns. He would obsess over certain types of toys or television shows, and would talk about them incessantly: he loved LEGO and some kids' program that I can't even remember right now.

 

My BIL & SIL's children all have Asperger's, and one thing I notice about them is that they are extremely literal. For example, if you ask, "What do you do if you cut your finger?" most kids would say, "Put a bandaid on it" (or something similar), but an Aspie might say, "Bleed."

 

Here are a couple of actual examples involving my nephews:

 

When the oldest was a little guy, his dad picked him up from daycare one afternoon. SIL had to work that night, and BIL asked dn1, "What do you want to do for supper?"

Dn1 promptly responded, "Eat." BIL thought dn was being witty; in reality, he was just being literal, as Aspies usually are.

 

Recently, the youngest (6yo) was riding in the car with FIL, and FIL went a different route from the usual way home. When he turned onto a familiar street, FIL said to dn3, "You know where you are now, don't you?"

Dn3 promptly responded, "Yes, I'm in the back seat." This time, it was FIL who thought this was a witty response.

Edited December 13, 2011 by ereks mom

[curlylocks]

At 5, my son would have a complete and utter meltdown if he thought something was being done in a "wrong" way. He walked around in circles when talking, and walked everywhere (including in circles) on his tiptoes. Still does these things. He desperately wanted friends, but couldn't get other kids to play exactly how he wanted them to play, and was obstinate about it, so no one wanted to play with him. He complained about loud noises, was phobic about lots of different things. He will make eye contact, but does obsessively talk about his passion of the day. Has NO CLUE when someone is not at all interested in what he has to say. He did and still will get very uncomfortable, to the point of having a meltdown, if other people are angry or upset. He needs an even keel at all times. He has/had an unusually large vocabulary and seems/seemed extremely bright, but can make something seemingly simple into a big, hairy deal and claim not to understand it at all.

 

.

 

Is my son hiding out at your house?? :tongue_smilie:

 

He will be 13 in February and in the back of my head I've always thought something was "different" about him, but couldn't put my finger on it. Now I'm thinking he might be an Aspie...:001_huh:

 

He also has this weird "sensory thing" going on where he won't wear certain jeans because "they don't feel right". (same thing with shirts and socks and for a while underwear but we got that figured out - LOL)

 

I'll be :bigear: for advice...

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Is my son hiding out at your house?? :tongue_smilie:

 

He will be 13 in February and in the back of my head I've always thought something was "different" about him, but couldn't put my finger on it. Now I'm thinking he might be an Aspie...:001_huh:

 

He also has this weird "sensory thing" going on where he won't wear certain jeans because "they don't feel right". (same thing with shirts and socks and for a while underwear but we got that figured out - LOL)

I'll be :bigear: for advice...

 

Oh yeah, I didn't even mention the sensory stuff! My son will only wear pants with elastic waistbands. And when he was in preschool, I actually bought 12 different pairs of shoes for him in one month, because he would wear a pair once, and refuse to wear them ever again. I thought I was going to lose my mind. We finally found a pair he liked, and I bought several sizes so he could grow into them. He wore out his last pair, and when we went shoe shopping in the fall, he was devastated to learn that they no longer make "his" shoes. It took some doing, but he did pick out another pair. He is growing out of that stuff, somewhat. Socks are still an issue. Now, I don't care whether he wears them or not. It can be 28 degrees out, and if he refuses to wear socks, I just let it go. Can't. deal. with. the. sock. issue. anymore.

[curlylocks]

Silly question: is it normal for an Aspie to not know that it is cold and they should put a jacket on?

 

My son is constantly outside without a jacket and he will come in shivering...when I ask why he didn't have a jacket on his reply is, "I didn't think about it." or "I don't know." :001_huh:

[jplain]

This child needs intervention. I am at a loss as to how to handle this.

In your shoes I'd brainstorm ways to meet the child's needs without an official label. If you're on board with the idea that accommodation is needed, I bet you can get teachers on board too.

 

Good luck!

[kiwi mum]

We are in a similar sitution here with lack of services available and no way to get a diagnosis either as well as the cultural denial issues. We have an aspie ourselves and DH has worked in a school for special needs kids so he has become the go to person in his school for any "unusual" kids. He has helped other teachers to understand how aspies think and work out accommodations in the clasroom. We would be happy to chat by PM, email or skype if you think we could help at all.

[sbgrace]

Spectrum kids look so different.

 

In your position I'd focus on the accommodation needs for the child rather than trying to convince the family given the stigma/expected response and there aren't services anyway.

[Tammyla]

:iagree:

 

Spectrum kids look so different.

 

In your position I'd focus on the accommodation needs for the child rather than trying to convince the family given the stigma/expected response and there aren't services anyway.

[saraha]

Silly question: is it normal for an Aspie to not know that it is cold and they should put a jacket on?

 

My son is constantly outside without a jacket and he will come in shivering...when I ask why he didn't have a jacket on his reply is, "I didn't think about it." or "I don't know." :001_huh:

 

My aspie son is much more sensitive to heat than to cold. When the rest of us are freezing, he is walking around in a tshirt. Or he will go outside to help his dad and not wear gloves, then come in and his hands will be so cold that he can't move them, or they hurt when they start to warm up, and I will ask him why in the world didn't he wear gloves, and he will look at his hands and say, I forgot. He also has a high pain tolerance, but a low tolerance for gentle/accidental touch.

However, In the summer he will act like it is so hot out he is going to bake to death.

[curlylocks]

My aspie son is much more sensitive to heat than to cold. When the rest of us are freezing, he is walking around in a tshirt. Or he will go outside to help his dad and not wear gloves, then come in and his hands will be so cold that he can't move them, or they hurt when they start to warm up, and I will ask him why in the world didn't he wear gloves, and he will look at his hands and say, I forgot. He also has a high pain tolerance, but a low tolerance for gentle/accidental touch.

However, In the summer he will act like it is so hot out he is going to bake to death.

 

YES!!!!

 

A lot of light bulbs are coming on for me: as a baby, he had ear infections and didn't cry...even when his ear drum burst. :001_huh: (He had them from the time he started cutting teeth and the only way I suspected one was coming on was that he wouldn't eat. Then he would start running a fever...but he NEVER cried.)

[Myeightkiddies]

This is a relative of mine.

 

She use to walk in circles every time she had a conversation with anyone. If she was standing still to do something (like make a sandwich) she would do the "potty dance" (move back and forth as if needing to use the bathroom). This was especially true if she was talking to someone while doing something.

 

She never liked undergarments to cover her belly button. She would always roll down the top. Nowadays she just wears lower cut undergarments. She is also really picky about fabrics. It cannot even remotely be rough. Even a soft sweater might be too "scratchy". She won't wear jeans. She's really sensitive about high inseams. She prefers stretchy waistbands and loose pants.

 

When she talks it tends to be loud (louder when younger); however, she is really sensitive to other noises, such as people talking. She can be in her room and get upset with the tv being on in another room, even if it isn't that loud. Younger children making noises bothers her. If her sister is singing in the bedroom, while the other is in the bathroom, it upsets her to just hear it through the walls.

 

She really gets over-anxious when needing to go to a doctor for any reason. It makes her stomach hurt and she wants to cry.

 

She has a great memory for quoting things - especially entertaining things she reads on the internet.

 

She's a picky eater. She'll cry if there's nothing that fits her list being served. She doesn't throw a tantrum but it truly upsets her. She doesn't have a problem making something she likes as long as it is available (for instance she'll make and eat mac/cheese for herself for dinner and be fine about it).

 

Anyway, I'm just curious if these behaviors - all genuine and not due to being spoiled or defiant - match any other aspie children.

[mama2cntrykids]

With my Aspie, has a hard time NOT talking about what he's currently passionate about. Seeks adults over children b/c they're better at listening to the childs interests. Little eye contact. It really can be a variety of different things in different Aspie's. Those are/were my ds' top things when he was five (he's now almost 9).

 

Oh, asking the same question over and over. Telling you the same stuff over and over. Hard time transitioning. Hard time focusing (unless it's something that he's passionate about) b/c he's thinking about his current interest.

 

Man, it's hard schooling this said child. There are days that I want nothing more than to ship him off on the yellow bus, BUT I feel that would be a disaster for him (and me). He needs to be homeschooled right now. Sorry about my tangent. Typing the above issues out really hit me hard.

 

ETA: Many other poster's said things that hit home here too.

Edited December 13, 2011 by mama2cntrykids

[Barb_]

Do the kids avoid him and make fun of him? That is often a telltale sign...especially in boys.

[learningmama]

I've done research the past few years and am beginning to figure out that I match many of the Aspie traits. My children both have a few quirks, but none of us have a diagnosis and we function very well.

 

As for myself, eye contact has always been very difficult for me. I'm much better than as a child, but it is SUPER uncomfortable and when I was little it would make me cry. I was a good student and never caused any problems, but was very quiet and shy. I've always been a bit obsessive and was the worst between the ages of 10-18. There were obsessions with rabbits, then I love Lucy, then certain boys and then the cow obsession was the worst! I collected, I read TONS of books, and talked non-stop. I did have friends in high school but now that I look back on it I feel bad that I talked so much about some things I know they cared nothing about.

 

I've always been very sensitive to clothing. It's way better now, but tight or itchy things still bother me alot. Growing up I did not wear jeans until junior high, liked wearing HUGE t-shirts and remember sock seems were a issue. My daughter is senistive to clothing as well, but the worst time was 2-5 and now at 7 she is better. She is also SUPER senistive to foods and textures. She's a picky eater and has thrown-up while playing with fingerpaints and silly string. She was bothered with cotton candy too.

[Mom22ns]

Heather,

What are the issues you are seeing. Instead of focussing on diagnosis, could we help you figure out accommodations? When ds was 5 and in a public school that did a fantastic job, his accommodations included:

Earphones to block excessive noise

Preferred seating in class

A written schedule taped to his desk and lots of warning if it was going to be different.

Breaks for sensory time (he would go to the OT room and swing or jump on a mini tramp a few times each day)

 

There may have been others. That was a long time ago, but if you tell us the issues maybe we can help your staff with ideas how to help.

[Laura Corin]

The 5yo that I knew: didn't make eye contact, read fluently but couldn't answer any questions about what he read, had an obsessive interest in one topic (dinosaurs), had a monotone voice (but he was also profoundly deaf and had a cochlear implant), ran around on his own at break time but didn't join in (or watch) others' play.

 

Laura

[Heather in Neverland]

Heather, What are the issues you are seeing.

 

-no eye contact

-when you have a conversation with him it is as if he is not listening at all and when he replies it is about something completely unrelated.

-random comments, often unintentionally hurtful (like yesterday they were in their math lesson and he randomly yells out "That picture is ugly" while pointing to a classmate's drawing).

-last night at our christmas musical, he stood there on stage sort of just looking around, didnt sing a single word, didnt seem to notice that there were over a hundred kids around him singing, shaking maraccas, doing dance moves they had learned for the last few months. It's like he was totally oblivious. It was not that he forgot the words or was even nervous. It was more like he didnt notice it was even happening. I said to my dh, "Watch that little boy right there for a while and give me your first impression." he watched for a few minutes then said "He looks like he's, I don't know, um...slow?"

-doesn't seem to "get it" when he hurts someone's feelings

-even when I had to scold him for something, he was just not picking up that I was upset with him

-often has a vacant look on his face

-very smart and VERY verbal...talks like an adult and talks/worries about adult things

-physically very awkward

-wants to make friends but many of the kids avoid him because of his odd behavior

-often refuses to eat anything for lunch

-throws up over the slightest thing... at drop off every day, if you try to make him eat his lunch, if there is a change in the routine... any of these things can make him cry and if he cries, he pukes

 

There's more but the word that just continually springs to mind is "odd" or maybe "off". His behavior is just...off.

 

I was researching last night and I found a hospital that has an occupational therapist so that's a start but I dont know how much they know about Asperger's here. I made a phone call and am waiting to here back from them.

 

I do have an ace in the hole in that at this point, we are thinking of putting him back into preschool (he is in kindy) because his social skills are SO FAR off. His parents dont want this so they may be willing to take him in to have him assessed if it is a condition for staying in kindy.

 

I hate to resort to that but most parents here will NOT seek out any services otherwise.

 

1. Please pray that this occupational therapist knows something about asperger's.

 

2. Any suggestions for this child in the classroom setting are welcome

 

I dont know what it is but I am just really attached to this child. He is so sweet and I just love him. I want to get him the early intervention he needs even if I have to resort to extortion to do it.:tongue_smilie:

Edited December 14, 2011 by Heather in NC

[sbgrace]

Heather,

 

That stuff, well much of it, are signs of core issues in autism. My son has had a lot of intervention and he still would do some of it. I'm saying they aren't easy fixes. That said, there are three Relationship Development Intervention therapists in Malaysia (link to follow--scroll to Malaysia of course). I know nothing of distances but these people would know autism forward and backward and have ways to work on the very issues you mention. http://www.rdiconnect.com/pages/find-a-consultant.aspx

Beyond that I'd expect they know of others (like OT's) that work with autistic kids there as well.

Edited December 14, 2011 by sbgrace

[renmew]

My son is PDD-NOS, and basically a lot like what has been described by pp. I held him back in first just because of his extremely low social skills and maturity, and against the advice of the child psychiatrist who diagnosed him. It made a very itty bitty difference this year, as these kids don't usually mature anywhere near a Year's worth in a year's time. So, while he was already academically advanced, now he is even more so and that much more bored by school work.

 

I would focus on your kid's issues without holding him back, if possible. A year from now probably won't look that much different socially.

[gardenmom5]

Silly question: is it normal for an Aspie to not know that it is cold and they should put a jacket on?

 

yes - it's related to the sensory facet of ASD.

 

We are in a similar sitution here with lack of services available and no way to get a diagnosis either as well as the cultural denial issues. .

one of my autism support groups has talked about some therapies that help the whole nervous system function, as opposed to the "accomodation side".

swimming is the best (according to a woman who ran an autism clinic), as it is full body bilateral exercise. It was helping my son - and I saw the relapse when he had to stop before we had a formal diagnosis. I look forward to starting up again.

there are many yoga dvd's aimed at asd/sensory children. I know yoga has helped me.

Hippotherapy. it's bilateral, and requires development of core muscle balance. depending upon ability of the child, you can do full hippotherapy where they have people walkng alongside them the whole time, or horseback riding lessons. (which are cheaper.)

these things won't cure anything, but they will help.

 

http://www.autismspeaks.org/

 

YES!!!!

 

A lot of light bulbs are coming on for me: as a baby, he had ear infections and didn't cry...even when his ear drum burst. )

my son will mention ONCE (in passing), that his ear hurt. I know to run to his Dr. last time, they were both infected.

 

-last night at our christmas musical, he stood there on stage sort of just looking around, didnt sing a single word, didnt seem to notice that there were over a hundred kids around him singing, shaking maraccas, doing dance moves they had learned for the last few months. It's like he was totally oblivious.

 

this is my son - only he's freaking out during practices because the noise hurts his ears and he runs and hides. He has auditory discrimination issues, the sound just mushes together and he can't discriminate what he is supposed to be hearing from background noise. he cannot learn a song by joining in a group. It requires lots of one on one in a quiet room, and very slowly. He will sometimes hum along.

 

some kids require a lot of stimulation to notice something, and other's are averse/defensive to the least little thing. (like me, when I had a migraine and wanted my husband to leave our room because he was breathing too loud.)

 

what you are describing is classic HFASD.

these kids often have good verbal skills, and are totally clueless with more nuanced social skills. they are literal, and anxiety is common. you must be blunt in how you explain things. As I've talked with other parents, these kids can be extremely sensitive and sweet, but they just do. not. "get". it. because they are not processing input correctly.

 

social skills therapy is very helpful. It has been ordered for my son, but we haven't started yet so I can't tell you exactly what they do.

 

role playing social situations to help him understand what is appropriate in a situation.

the vacant look can be one (or both) of two things - he is "reintegrating" his sensory system, or it can be a mini-seizure. generally they are brief, less than a minute.

 

some kids are intolerant of gluten, and/or casein, and/or, yeast, and/or soy. Nitraties make my son more aggressive, so we removed it and it helped. Yes, there really is something to the red dye thing - some kids really can't handle it. IF they are intolerant to one or more of those, removing the offending item can make a huge change in behavior, what they will eat (often their diet will expand), and throwing up should stop. the fact he is throwing up would be a flag to me that he does have an intolerance. My son threw up when he cried until he was 18 months old when I guess his system finally matured enough.

 

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ has a good FAQ, as well as some activities that can help with the different areas. the physical awkward is typical of aspies - the sites have some suggestions to help them.

Edited December 14, 2011 by gardenmom5

[curlylocks]

some kids are intolerant of gluten, and/or casein, and/or, yeast, and/or soy. Nitraties make my son more aggressive, so we removed it and it helped. Yes, there really is something to the red dye thing - some kids really can't handle it. IF they are intolerant to one or more of those, removing the offending item can make a huge change in behavior, what they will eat (often their diet will expand), and throwing up should stop. the fact he is throwing up would be a flag to me that he does have an intolerance. My son threw up when he cried until he was 18 months old when I guess his system finally matured enough.

 

It is not my intent to "hijack" this discussion so if I should start another one, just let me know. ;)

 

My son is intolerant/allergic to red dye...within a half-hour to 45 minutes of consuming it, he will start to vomit. He vomits pretty much continually until his stomach is empty and then he sleeps...and sleeps...and sleeps. When he wakes up, his appetite is fine, but he is a little "groggy" for a day or two.

 

I hadn't put "two and two together" until today...

 

ETA: you also mentioned physical awkwardness...he plays soccer and he is a pretty good goalie. (the PS soccer coach has "recruited him" to play for the team next fall, but we haven't decided about it yet) My husband and I *did* notice that he spends a lot of time on the ground when he is playing other positions. LOL

Edited December 14, 2011 by curlylocks

[Alessandra]

Have you googled 'autism screening'? (I used autism rahter than Asperger's, so as to include PDD, Asperger's & AS.) Our pediatrician uses MCHAT, which is for younger children than your student. It starts with a self-administered parent questionnaire, then, if warrented, could move on to a doctor administered questionnaire (but you can fine it online), than a regular eval. You might want to look for a screening for your age group.

 

We have a lot of Asians in our area, so I presume the screening tools are valid cross-culturally.

 

I do know what you mean about Asian parents though. Our neighbor from Korea has a boy in our local autism program. She told me he was there because he had some trouble 'pronouncing words' -- actually he is non-verbal. But, when I told her about Challenger soccer, she said at first that her ds would be unable to play soccer. I explained what Challenger was. Her ds tried it and loved it.

 

I'm mentioning this because the neighbor that I first thought was in denial was actually glad to meet a community of parents all in the same position. And there were plenty of other Korean parents at soccer. I think she and her dh were glad of a place where they did not have to pretend.

 

I hope it works out for this child and the family. I think it's so great that you are looking after the 'whole child.'

Edited December 14, 2011 by Alessandra

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

yes - it's related to the sensory facet of ASD.

 

 

one of my autism support groups has talked about some therapies that help the whole nervous system function, as opposed to the "accomodation side".

swimming is the best (according to a woman who ran an autism clinic), as it is full body bilateral exercise. It was helping my son - and I saw the relapse when he had to stop before we had a formal diagnosis. I look forward to starting up again.

there are many yoga dvd's aimed at asd/sensory children. I know yoga has helped me.

Hippotherapy. it's bilateral, and requires development of core muscle balance. depending upon ability of the child, you can do full hippotherapy where they have people walkng alongside them the whole time, or horseback riding lessons. (which are cheaper.)

these things won't cure anything, but they will help.

 

http://www.autismspeaks.org/

 

 

my son will mention ONCE (in passing), that his ear hurt. I know to run to his Dr. last time, they were both infected.

 

 

 

this is my son - only he's freaking out during practices because the noise hurts his ears and he runs and hides. He has auditory discrimination issues, the sound just mushes together and he can't discriminate what he is supposed to be hearing from background noise. he cannot learn a song by joining in a group. It requires lots of one on one in a quiet room, and very slowly. He will sometimes hum along.

 

some kids require a lot of stimulation to notice something, and other's are averse/defensive to the least little thing. (like me, when I had a migraine and wanted my husband to leave our room because he was breathing too loud.)

 

what you are describing is classic HFASD.

these kids often have good verbal skills, and are totally clueless with more nuanced social skills. they are literal, and anxiety is common. you must be blunt in how you explain things. As I've talked with other parents, these kids can be extremely sensitive and sweet, but they just do. not. "get". it. because they are not processing input correctly.

 

social skills therapy is very helpful. It has been ordered for my son, but we haven't started yet so I can't tell you exactly what they do.

 

role playing social situations to help him understand what is appropriate in a situation.

the vacant look can be one (or both) of two things - he is "reintegrating" his sensory system, or it can be a mini-seizure. generally they are brief, less than a minute.

 

some kids are intolerant of gluten, and/or casein, and/or, yeast, and/or soy. Nitraties make my son more aggressive, so we removed it and it helped. Yes, there really is something to the red dye thing - some kids really can't handle it. IF they are intolerant to one or more of those, removing the offending item can make a huge change in behavior, what they will eat (often their diet will expand), and throwing up should stop. the fact he is throwing up would be a flag to me that he does have an intolerance. My son threw up when he cried until he was 18 months old when I guess his system finally matured enough.

 

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ has a good FAQ, as well as some activities that can help with the different areas. the physical awkward is typical of aspies - the sites have some suggestions to help them.

 

Where to begin . . . I agree with all of the above, but wanted to comment on the bolded portions.

 

My aspie son has had strep throat on several occasions, and I don't know about it until someone else around him gets it and starts complaining. I figured out it was he who was spreading it when my sister's kids got strep after two separate visits to my house. So, I don't know if your student has had a physical recently, but you might suggest that to the parents, as well.

 

Role-playing is what my son does with his therapist. They also want me to put him in a social skills group, but I don't have the funds for this right now. In theses groups, they teach the kids exactly how to react in certain situations, like, what to do when a friend asks you to play a game. If you could instruct him on how to interact in common situations, that might help.

 

Along with gluten/casein, etc., I've noticed a drastic change in my son's behavior by cutting out processed sugars. He still eats fruit and has raw honey and real maple syrup and seems to do okay. His focus has improved, his meltdowns have diminished greatly. I can tell the very next day when someone has given him sugar (Grandma, Sunday school teacher). He is a pitiful mass of misery the next day. If you can try to improve his diet or get his family to improve his diet, that could make a huge difference.

 

The physical therapist for my son recommended he do individual athletic activities like swimming, golf, etc. The lack of coordination makes group sports very frustrating for these kids.

[gardenmom5]

...

 

ETA: you also mentioned physical awkwardness...he plays soccer and he is a pretty good goalie. (the PS soccer coach has "recruited him" to play for the team next fall, but we haven't decided about it yet) My husband and I *did* notice that he spends a lot of time on the ground when he is playing other positions. LOL

 

my son could ride a bike and tie his shoes at four . . . only later did I discover he couldn't hop on one foot, walk on a balance beam, or skip. He's doing better since starting therapy.

 

there also can be a lack of normal flexibility. my daughter did gymnastics for three years, and I noticed how stiff she was - super coordinated and strong, but never very flexible.

 

I also had two with some ASD traits that are hyper coordinated. (I used to joke dd could have been a tightrope walker. she was running on the top of a brick retaining wall before she was 2. we just knew she'd never fall. my son only fell because the branch he was standing on broke.)

[gardenmom5]

. . .

Role-playing is what my son does with his therapist. They also want me to put him in a social skills group, but I don't have the funds for this right now. In theses groups, they teach the kids exactly how to react in certain situations, like, what to do when a friend asks you to play a game. If you could instruct him on how to interact in common situations, that might help.

 

Along with gluten/casein, etc., I've noticed a drastic change in my son's behavior by cutting out processed sugars. He still eats fruit and has raw honey and real maple syrup and seems to do okay. His focus has improved, his meltdowns have diminished greatly. I can tell the very next day when someone has given him sugar (Grandma, Sunday school teacher). He is a pitiful mass of misery the next day. If you can try to improve his diet or get his family to improve his diet, that could make a huge difference.

 

The physical therapist for my son recommended he do individual athletic activities like swimming, golf, etc. The lack of coordination makes group sports very frustrating for these kids.

does your local school district offer social skills groups therapy? even as a homeschooler, you should be able to go in with your medical diganosis and recommendation and get it since he is a child that lives in that school district.

 

a number of years ago, I did a yeast free diet. I cut out every form of sugar (I cut out bread, but still ate pasta) and I felt INCREDIBLE. I was clear-headed, I could think, my allergies went away, I had TONS of energy - oh, and at least 20 lbs melted off of me within four weeks. My dry skin was no longer dry . . . skin cleared up.

 

the best individual sports are ones that are bilateral - requiring coordination between both sides of the body. swimming is fabulous.

[runmiarun]

This is a relative of mine.

 

She use to walk in circles every time she had a conversation with anyone. If she was standing still to do something (like make a sandwich) she would do the "potty dance" (move back and forth as if needing to use the bathroom). This was especially true if she was talking to someone while doing something.

 

She never liked undergarments to cover her belly button. She would always roll down the top. Nowadays she just wears lower cut undergarments. She is also really picky about fabrics. It cannot even remotely be rough. Even a soft sweater might be too "scratchy". She won't wear jeans. She's really sensitive about high inseams. She prefers stretchy waistbands and loose pants.

 

When she talks it tends to be loud (louder when younger); however, she is really sensitive to other noises, such as people talking. She can be in her room and get upset with the tv being on in another room, even if it isn't that loud. Younger children making noises bothers her. If her sister is singing in the bedroom, while the other is in the bathroom, it upsets her to just hear it through the walls.

 

She really gets over-anxious when needing to go to a doctor for any reason. It makes her stomach hurt and she wants to cry.

 

She has a great memory for quoting things - especially entertaining things she reads on the internet.

 

She's a picky eater. She'll cry if there's nothing that fits her list being served. She doesn't throw a tantrum but it truly upsets her. She doesn't have a problem making something she likes as long as it is available (for instance she'll make and eat mac/cheese for herself for dinner and be fine about it).

 

Anyway, I'm just curious if these behaviors - all genuine and not due to being spoiled or defiant - match any other aspie children.

 

Reading your post is making lightbulbs go off in my head. This sounds like my oldest son. I've wondered for a while if he was on the spectrum and after reading your post and this thread, I'm leaning toward that distinct possibility.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

well I'm sure my kiddo was expressing symptoms at that age but wasn't diagnosed....super-hyper-focus ability---but only on certain things that they are "into"-for my kiddo it was digital videos-digital cameras-phones with cameras-cell phones......he would go nutz if he saw someone with one and would start up conversations with strangers if they had one of them and freak out if he couldn't see it-of course we ended up getting him his own eventually so that helped some....

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

does your local school district offer social skills groups therapy? even as a homeschooler, you should be able to go in with your medical diganosis and recommendation and get it since he is a child that lives in that school district.

 

 

Yes. My local schools do offer a lunchtime program. The principal of the school told me my son is not eligible because he is homeschooled. Dh's cousin is an attorney specializing in getting kids with IEPs the services that are required by the schools. So, I know what the principal told me is false, and I have a very good ally in my corner if I ever wanted to fight the school on it. The thing is, my son went to that school for K and 1st grade, and the staff there are not the brightest bulbs in the pack. The only reason dh agreed to homeschooling is so that we wouldn't have to deal with those people anymore. I don't want to put my son in that situation. I don't trust them.

[gardenmom5]

Yes. My local schools do offer a lunchtime program. The principal of the school told me my son is not eligible because he is homeschooled. Dh's cousin is an attorney specializing in getting kids with IEPs the services that are required by the schools. So, I know what the principal told me is false, and I have a very good ally in my corner if I ever wanted to fight the school on it. The thing is, my son went to that school for K and 1st grade, and the staff there are not the brightest bulbs in the pack. The only reason dh agreed to homeschooling is so that we wouldn't have to deal with those people anymore. I don't want to put my son in that situation. I don't trust them.

 

I'm glad you have a good ally who knows the laws. I think it comes down to schools just don't want to pay for stuff if they dont' have to. That was my experience with older children.

 

so far, my school district seems to be being very supportive. I also have the medical schools report - we'll see if that helps as there are some services they were pretty explicit about wanting for him. We will meet in january to discuss his IEP and what services they will offer him. I'm hoping things will work for an amalgmation of primary lesons with me, services with them.