Please help me!!!! My boys will not stop FARTING!

[SKL]

three years ago i had to take the boys with me to dh's colonscopy. They were not ready to stay at home alone and no one could watch them.

 

You'd of thought I'd given them the best Christmas present ever because they got to sit around for about fifteen minutes and listen to the after farting in the recovery room.

 

What???! After-farts??!!

[pdalley]

They make you pass gas to ensure your colon is operating properly.

 

If you are the patient you don't generally remember it. I didn't. DH is always disappointed that he doesn't remember someone actually encouraging him to fart.

[SKL]

They make you pass gas to ensure your colon is operating properly.

 

If you are the patient you don't generally remember it. I didn't.

 

It's a good thing I did not know about this before now. I'll leave it at that.

[melissel]

It's a good thing I did not know about this before now. I'll leave it at that.

 

I, for one, am going to pretend I've heard never heard of such a thing.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

:iagree:

Buy yourself a gas mask and some earplugs. They are male.

oh man-my ds 9 is delighted by just about any bodily noise-and so is his dad.....:tongue_smilie:

[simka2]

I learn so much here! :lol:

[SKL]

oh man-my ds 9 is delighted by just about any bodily noise-and so is his dad.....:tongue_smilie:

 

My 5yo dd was trying to make underarm farts the other day. :glare: See, these are the real risks of sending the kids to school.

[Ellie]

Uh...my dh of 23 years who's been with me through the birth of our 5 dc, insists he's never heard me do "it" (I don't even say the word, it's the "F" word, in my world, lol!:D)

I can't say it, either!

 

I have a lot of boys in my household, and made it extremely clear right from the start that NO WAY IN THE WORLD would I ever find that anything other than the rudest of behavior. My boys don't do it in my presence. If they did, I'd assign a thorough bathroom cleaning from the offender, each and every time. If they can hold back in front of their dear sweet girlfriends, you know they can hold back in front of me. :)

:iagree:

[Teachin'Mine]

My brothers would NEVER, ever have purposely done that in the presence of an adult, or in mixed company of other children. And Mr. Ellie would never do it in my presence, either; we are both mortified by stories of husbands who perpetrate crimes on their wives. Really.

 

Just sayin'...

 

So your husband has never pulled the covers up over you? You are truly lucky!!! :tongue_smilie::lol:

[Pippen]

My kids just started thinking this is funny. I hope it does not last long.

.

 

Good luck with that.

[mcconnellboys]

Stop feeding 'em....

[speedmom4]

My husband's co-worker nicknamed my oldest son "Fart Blossom" because he was stuck in a car with ds for a few hours. :auto:

 

Elise in NC

[KungFuPanda]

My DH Is actually an adult about this so he's never grossed me out by embracing the process. However, we BOTH have mutiple brothers so we're realistic about typical boy behavior. Our 11-year-old son has NO shame and thinks all body functions are hysterical. My teen daughter is mortified by him.

 

You know, I JUST learned what a "Dutch oven" was THIS year :glare: A friend's toddler did it to her and she had to explain the term to me.

[Mimm]

In my house it's my husband and I just get over it. To me, it's SO rude to fart loudly around other people. And I sigh, and I give him dirty looks but there's really nothing I can do. I'm not willing to pitch that big a fit and disrupt the peace of the house over it. I do wonder if he realized just how much I HATE it if he would stop... But I seem to be unable to communicate just how much it gets on my nerves.

[Amber in SJ]

Every year the young men at church get a seminar about proper dating behavior from their male leaders.

 

After one seminar I had several young men & other leaders tell me that Dh's dating tip was the most memorable & useful.

 

I preened all through church thinking that now all the others were jealous that I have such a thoughtful and courteous husband.

 

Until I learned that his tip was to always open the car door for your date so you can fart as much as you want as you walk around to the driver side of the car.

 

I always wondered what the big grin through the windshield was for.

 

Amber in SJ

[QuirkyKapers]

Every year the young men at church get a seminar about proper dating behavior from their male leaders.

 

After one seminar I had several young men & other leaders tell me that Dh's dating tip was the most memorable & useful.

 

I preened all through church thinking that now all the others were jealous that I have such a thoughtful and courteous husband.

 

Until I learned that his tip was to always open the car door for your date so you can fart as much as you want as you walk around to the driver side of the car.

 

I always wondered what the big grin through the windshield was for.

 

Amber in SJ

:lol:

[QuirkyKapers]

This is so funny. I was reading this earlier and than all of the sudden from my dd "I just farted" lots of giggling and my son, "I think I am going to die now" more laughter. After that they were sqeezing each other to "get the farts out". My mother would be mortified since fart was a banned word. Windies was acceptable. :)

[SunD]

Every year the young men at church get a seminar about proper dating behavior from their male leaders.

 

After one seminar I had several young men & other leaders tell me that Dh's dating tip was the most memorable & useful.

 

I preened all through church thinking that now all the others were jealous that I have such a thoughtful and courteous husband.

 

Until I learned that his tip was to always open the car door for your date so you can fart as much as you want as you walk around to the driver side of the car.

 

I always wondered what the big grin through the windshield was for.

 

Amber in SJ

 

:lol:

 

You DO have a thoughtful and courteous husband! My dad always always always farts right AFTER he gets in the car. Always. I'll have to give him that tip. It's too late for me, but for my mom's sake.

[elegantlion]

Fiber bars, just don't even go there.

 

Dh takes them for his breakfast, he's fine. But if ds eats one, wow! Yes, we end up giggling.

 

Boys are awesome, they astound all of our senses. :lol:

[Teachin'Mine]

My DH Is actually an adult about this so he's never grossed me out by embracing the process. However, we BOTH have mutiple brothers so we're realistic about typical boy behavior. Our 11-year-old son has NO shame and thinks all body functions are hysterical. My teen daughter is mortified by him.

 

You know, I JUST learned what a "Dutch oven" was THIS year :glare: A friend's toddler did it to her and she had to explain the term to me.

 

Is that the term for the blankets over the head routine??? :smilielol5:

[Catherine]

Good luck with THAT...

[pdalley]

Every year the young men at church get a seminar about proper dating behavior from their male leaders.

 

After one seminar I had several young men & other leaders tell me that Dh's dating tip was the most memorable & useful.

 

I preened all through church thinking that now all the others were jealous that I have such a thoughtful and courteous husband.

 

Until I learned that his tip was to always open the car door for your date so you can fart as much as you want as you walk around to the driver side of the car.

 

I always wondered what the big grin through the windshield was for.

 

Amber in SJ

:lol:

 

On one memorable occasion middle yelled 'Stop it, you're messing up my fart!' to his Dad.

 

I have three boys - four if you count DH. I do believe the dogs out do all of them.

[Garga]

Every year the young men at church get a seminar about proper dating behavior from their male leaders.

 

After one seminar I had several young men & other leaders tell me that Dh's dating tip was the most memorable & useful.

 

I preened all through church thinking that now all the others were jealous that I have such a thoughtful and courteous husband.

 

Until I learned that his tip was to always open the car door for your date so you can fart as much as you want as you walk around to the driver side of the car.

 

I always wondered what the big grin through the windshield was for.

 

Amber in SJ

 

 

I have a friend who tells how he used this technique while he was dating, but he didn't realize that it was so loud that his girlfriend heard it through the glass.

[Laurie4b]

Windies was acceptable. :)

 

:lol:

[SKL]

My mother would be mortified since fart was a banned word. Windies was acceptable. :)

 

We weren't allowed to say "fart" but "stink-bomb" was considered appropriate.

[Danestress]

I have a husband and three sons, and simply can't imagine any of them purposefully farting in front of me. I know everyone does it - it's a biological function. But when it happens, you ignore it if you can, apologize otherwise. I would never permit my sons to repeatedly do that to entertain themselves in my presence. Off on their own, in the yard, in the woods, they can have at it (and probably do) but not around me. I have never had to tell them that. They seem to just know it.

 

Probably tomorrow morning I will eat these words because we will be in some new age of farting, lol. But as of today, with my youngest being 14, I have never had to explain to anyone that farting is not appropriate entertainment. Burping, yes.

[Kirch]

Corks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[kolamum]

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way.. but my theory is if you can't beat em, join em. :D

 

And if you find that embarrassing you should have been at family camp. Because if the real ones weren't bad enough our bunk room erupted, moments after lights out, with fake ones that caused each bunk room in succession to go off. The only thing funnier was when our dog made a horrible stink in the room and I gasped out, "Oh that was a real one, how gross!!" and my children screamed, "MUM DID A REAL ONE!!" Which was followed by, "It was the dog, I swear!" Then our dog, in total humiliation ran into another bunk room where they chased him out because he really was still quite stinky.

 

Perhaps, more seriously.. you should try offering out papaya enzymes before meals. Works a real charm, I promise. :D

[cin]

My DH bought the girls some of that silly putty like stuff in a plastic jar that makes fart noises. :glare:

 

DD10 recorded it on her ipod and then put her ipod in her back pocket. And walked through the store. I didn't even know what to say. I was outnumbered, 3:1. DH and DDt 7 thought it was hysterical.

 

Please note, these are GIRLS.

 

Now, DH has ALWAYS farted. In Plenty. He has IBS and I understand that he gets really bad gas from certain things. But does he fart when he's in a business meeting? Does he fart while sitting in the dentist's chair? Of course not. But he will let the stinkiest ones as soon as we get in the car. And the people in the next car will know because he literally lifts one cheek to do it.

 

So, as a PP poster said, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I'm just hoping that someday, my daughters will get to the stage where they will be horrified by their own farts. And they too, NEVER poop. Please God!

[KungFuPanda]

Is that the term for the blankets over the head routine??? :smilielol5:

 

Yes. So very classy.

[Alte Veste Academy]

mother would be mortified since fart was a banned word. Windies was acceptable. :)

 

We weren't allowed to say "fart" but "stink-bomb" was considered appropriate.

 

:lol:

 

Ah, memories. My mom also considers it the f word. (She prefers to pretend the actual f word doesn't exist at all and gives a look of utter disgust whenever she hears it or mention of it. :lol:)

 

Growing up, passing gas was referred to as a putt-putt. I kid you not. You do not know the full meaning of the word embarrassing until you have been 16 years old in a store behind your mother while she makes giant fanning movements with her arm and loudly exlaims, "Oh, someone putt-putted!" :blushing:

 

I just wanted to die. And it was not a one time thing. :lol:

[Liz CA]

:iagree:

oh man-my ds 9 is delighted by just about any bodily noise-and so is his dad.....:tongue_smilie:

 

...And here I thought I was the only one married to one of those. As far as the kid's flatulence goes, I figured if I ignored it as much as I could he would lose his fascination with it. It only worked partially.

[kiana]

:lol:

 

Ah, memories. My mom also considers it the f word. (She prefers to pretend the actual f word doesn't exist at all and gives a look of utter disgust whenever she hears it or mention of it. :lol:)

 

Growing up, passing gas was referred to as a putt-putt. I kid you not. You do not know the full meaning of the word embarrassing until you have been 16 years old in a store behind your mother while she makes giant fanning movements with her arm and loudly exlaims, "Oh, someone putt-putted!" :blushing:

 

I just wanted to die. And it was not a one time thing. :lol:

 

We referred to them as "posterior breezes" -- after the nearest metropolitan newspaper that did the same thing in their bulletin board :P

[Alte Veste Academy]

We referred to them as "posterior breezes" -- after the nearest metropolitan newspaper that did the same thing in their bulletin board :P

 

I'm jealous of your terminology. At least that has an intellectual air to it. :tongue_smilie:

Edited December 12, 2011 by Alte Veste Academy

[Amber in SJ]

When my dd was 2 she used to say, "My butt popped!" Dh thought it was hilarious.

 

And so it began.

 

Amber in SJ

[QuirkyKapers]

When my dd was 2 she used to say, "My butt popped!" Dh thought it was hilarious.

 

And so it began.

 

Amber in SJ

:lol:

[QuirkyKapers]

 

Growing up, passing gas was referred to as a putt-putt. I kid you not. You do not know the full meaning of the word embarrassing until you have been 16 years old in a store behind your mother while she makes giant fanning movements with her arm and loudly exlaims, "Oh, someone putt-putted!" :blushing:

 

I just wanted to die. And it was not a one time thing. :lol:

 

 

:lol: My mom used to remind me to put toliet paper on the toliet seats- loudly! (this was prior to those nice seat covers) As an adolescent, these types of situations are so embarassing!

[Joker]

It's been a lost cause in our home ever since my sweet, baby girls found out they could do it in the tub and make bubbles. Dh thinks it's hysterical that's he corrupted my girlies. :glare:

 

They're a bit older now and only take showers but that doesn't stop them from torturing me occasionally when they're in a joking mood and dh is home. They especially like to leave a whoopie cushion where they know I will sit.

[woolybear]

:lol:

 

Ah, memories. My mom also considers it the f word. (She prefers to pretend the actual f word doesn't exist at all and gives a look of utter disgust whenever she hears it or mention of it. :lol:)

 

Growing up, passing gas was referred to as a putt-putt. I kid you not. You do not know the full meaning of the word embarrassing until you have been 16 years old in a store behind your mother while she makes giant fanning movements with her arm and loudly exlaims, "Oh, someone putt-putted!" :blushing:

 

I just wanted to die. And it was not a one time thing. :lol:

 

:smilielol5:

[*Lulu*]

I personally have made a stand against the "f-word" since DH and I were just dating.

 

Considering that the 4yo likes to loudly announce, "EXCUSE ME! I tooted.", I think it is time to admit that I have won the battle but lost the war.

 

Worse yet, the old dog passed some HORRID gas and DS#1 walked through the room.

DS- "Wow Mom that really stinks."

Me- "I know I wish I knew what y'all feed that dog."

DS- "Oh, the dog did that?"

Me- "Of course......wait. You thought *I* did it!?!?"

DS- "Well if I was you I wold have claimed it. That was awesomely gross!"

 

:001_huh::001_huh::001_huh:

[pfamilygal]

Um, farting IS funny.

 

We just have the "no farting in church or at the dinner table" rule.

[Laurie4b]

:lol:

 

Ah, memories. My mom also considers it the f word. (She prefers to pretend the actual f word doesn't exist at all and gives a look of utter disgust whenever she hears it or mention of it. :lol:)

 

Growing up, passing gas was referred to as a putt-putt. I kid you not. You do not know the full meaning of the word embarrassing until you have been 16 years old in a store behind your mother while she makes giant fanning movements with her arm and loudly exlaims, "Oh, someone putt-putted!" :blushing:

 

I just wanted to die. And it was not a one time thing. :lol:

 

I had forgotten, but this reminded me: my mom used to call them "puffs" and people "puffed" as if it was some dainty little act. :lol:

[Zebra]

I am not having a good morning, and I am in such a bad mood.

 

This thread was just the thing I needed! There are tears pouring down my face I am laughing so hard! Wow, it's like balm to my soul :lol:!!!

 

I grew up with a father who encouraged this sort of behavior, it was unreal. My dad died 2 years ago and we dicussed putting one of those fart machines in his coffin and setting it off during the service, he would have LOVED that. I really wanted to do it, but I knew how that would go over (you know, "like a fart in church" ;)).

 

My DH was raised to NEVER do that in public, even at home....so you can imagine how the first dinner with my parents went! DH said he felt like he was "set free" . In retrospect I wish I hadn't set him free :lol:!

 

I am very firmly in the pro-fart camp, at home only. It's free entertainment!

[Renee in NC]

My brothers would NEVER, ever have purposely done that in the presence of an adult, or in mixed company of other children. And Mr. Ellie would never do it in my presence, either; we are both mortified by stories of husbands who perpetrate crimes on their wives. Really.

 

Just sayin'...

 

I have a husband and three sons, and simply can't imagine any of them purposefully farting in front of me. I know everyone does it - it's a biological function. But when it happens, you ignore it if you can, apologize otherwise. I would never permit my sons to repeatedly do that to entertain themselves in my presence. Off on their own, in the yard, in the woods, they can have at it (and probably do) but not around me. I have never had to tell them that. They seem to just know it.

 

Probably tomorrow morning I will eat these words because we will be in some new age of farting, lol. But as of today, with my youngest being 14, I have never had to explain to anyone that farting is not appropriate entertainment. Burping, yes.

 

:iagree: I get that they do it. And I get that they probably play stupid games out of my presence. Dh does at times turn it into a joke. Overall, though, it is something that happens and then you say excuse me.

 

So, not for entertainment. And neither is burping. I'm still working on the 5yo, though, as she hasn't gotten the "it's not funny" memo.:glare:

[ChandlerMom]

Yeah, it's not just boys. My 9yo girl has a blast burping and farting in front of us. The more disgusted we act the funnier she thinks it is. ;) She's quite proud of herself.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I have no idea where this myth that somehow boys fart more than girls (or enjoy the spectacle more) started. My 2 dd get far more mileage out of farting than any boy I ever knew and now they are teaching ds the fine art. I just think girls are often reprimanded harder or told it's "unladylike" and boys get the "ewww, don't" with the boys-will-be-boys wink.

 

You know, when I was younger, like in my 20s, it was a big deal. Now, not so much. As long as it's not in public, not at the dinner table, and not in anyone's face, we're all good here! ;) I'm glad my girls aren't worried about farting like I was at their age. We all do it, no use pretending, just learn to do it without harming others. :lol:

[HappyCrazyMama]

I have a husband and three sons, and simply can't imagine any of them purposefully farting in front of me. I know everyone does it - it's a biological function. But when it happens, you ignore it if you can, apologize otherwise. I would never permit my sons to repeatedly do that to entertain themselves in my presence. Off on their own, in the yard, in the woods, they can have at it (and probably do) but not around me. I have never had to tell them that. They seem to just know it.

 

Probably tomorrow morning I will eat these words because we will be in some new age of farting, lol. But as of today, with my youngest being 14, I have never had to explain to anyone that farting is not appropriate entertainment. Burping, yes.

 

:iagree:If it happens in someone's presence you say, "excuse me". If my dh did the under covers thing, wow, I guarantee we would not be sleeping under the same covers for quite some time, I would be furious.

[Nakia]

Ummmm, like a pp, I can testify that it is not just boys! My daughters think farts are hilarious. Oh, who am I kidding? So do I!!! :lol:

 

I read this quote the other day: "Don't hold farts in. They go to your brain, and that's where sh*tty ideas come from." :smilielol5:

[Miss Marple]

Well, it is an ongoing battle. Finding a girlfriend or being in mixed company tends to make them more civilized. I have discovered that one of my boys (the worst offender) is allergic to onions. We've eliminated those from his diet and he is quite gentlemanly now :). His paternal grandmother has the same problem...

[stripe]

Have you ever travelled and been around people for whom farting, picking your nose, fixing a wedgie, and whatnot are considered regular activities, fine to do in public? I have. It is a bit hilarious to sit with respected older women, considered to have excellent manners, and have them do such things.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I am not having a good morning, and I am in such a bad mood.

 

This thread was just the thing I needed! There are tears pouring down my face I am laughing so hard! Wow, it's like balm to my soul :lol:!!!

 

I grew up with a father who encouraged this sort of behavior, it was unreal. My dad died 2 years ago and we dicussed putting one of those fart machines in his coffin and setting it off during the service, he would have LOVED that. I really wanted to do it, but I knew how that would go over (you know, "like a fart in church" ;)).

 

My DH was raised to NEVER do that in public, even at home....so you can imagine how the first dinner with my parents went! DH said he felt like he was "set free" . In retrospect I wish I hadn't set him free :lol:!

 

I am very firmly in the pro-fart camp, at home only. It's free entertainment!

 

I'm sorry about your dad. How wonderful that he had such a great sense of humor. He sounds like a fun guy.

 

DH actually met his best friend by putting a whoopee cushion under him on the bus in high school. Shows what a great guy his friend was to think that was funny. :lol: They still die laughing every time someone brings it up.

 

If it happens in someone's presence you say, "excuse me". If my dh did the under covers thing, wow, I guarantee we would not be sleeping under the same covers for quite some time, I would be furious.

 

I would just like to say, for the record, that although all three of my boys think it's funny, it is not anything done in polite or mixed company. My DH would not stand for that. Any accidental passing of gas or burp is addressed with an "excuse me" (our rule is that the apology must be as loud as the offense). And no, DH does not "turtle" me or DD. He is a gentleman with a sense of humor but also possesses a sense of propriety with respect to time, place, and company.

 

Due to some of my childhood embarrassment from my own father's lack of propriety (which he is witness to even in present day :glare:), DH is extra sensitive to me and knows to be extra sensitive to DD as she ages. If and when she shows that she is not agreeable to the antics anymore, he will respect that. As with all other humor, a joke is only funny if someone is not made the butt of it. (Pun intended. :tongue_smilie:)