Musing About NPD

[Tarreymere]

Both of my parents had NPD. My mom was a malignant narcissist of world-class caliber. I won't do into the details of the psychological abuse, but I will share that I attempted suicide at the age of ten, solely because of her. Dad was just a narcissist. As long as it didn't impact him, he didn't really care what went on.

 

Mom died when I was 26 and the entire family was relieved, but I still felt guilty to feel so joyful about it. Today, over twenty years later and I still have nightmares of being that child in that house, nearly every night. Still. I will probably have those nightmares for the rest of my life.

 

Dad was easier to deal with. He ignored me. One year I worked third shift on Christmas eve then drove two hours home from my travel nurse assignment, stayed up to watch my kids open gifts then passed out on the couch. Dad chose to be annoyed that I did not call him long distance ON Christmas day but the next day, despite being told why. He then refused to speak to me for over three years. Later when his long-term girlfriend broke up with him (because he had developed serious health issues and that was such a drag for her, can you say 'birds of a feather'?) he decided to call me and of course all he wanted to talk about was 'can you believe what she did to me?'. He wouldn't have recognized me if we passed on the street, and couldn't name my children if offered money to do so.

 

I didn't go to his funeral. It was a five hour drive one way and I was having a difficult pregnancy. I wouldn't have gone anyway, actually. I know my brother and my cousins think I'm evil for that.

 

I joke with DH that if I ever have one of those near-death experiences and see either of my parents standing in that tunnel of light I'm going to turn around and run as fast as I can in the other direction.

[cathmom]

Sadly, I have lived out of the state since 1999, and always had the attitude that I wouldn't go down to her level. Didn't talk about her in a negative way at all to anyone. Well - in the background she was planting the seeds of my "destruction" within the family. When I found about about what was going on in the lives of my neice and nephew, I had to speak up.

 

 

Yes, even though my other sister KNEW beyond a DOUBT that our sister lied all the time, she still wondered if there might be some truth to the idea that she was having money problems because she gave/lent money to dh and me!! I was able to tell my other sister, once she finally shared this with me, that my sister had NEVER lent me money EVER, not even one dollar!!! It was very frustrating.