Is this normal???

[AvasMom]

When my dd was in 3rd grade, she brought lunch every single day (like she had in K, 1, and 2). At the end of the year I got a bill from the school for all the lunch time snacks she charged!

 

My ds did that but was buying milk (he had a drink packed every day). I refused to pay it. I had no knowledge he was doing that, never authorized the transaction, and they never told me it was happening. I didn't have any opportunity to decide if I was going to purchase these or not. So I told them I wasn't going to pay for them and I didn't.

[kolamum]

They sell that and more at many schools. Yuck, yes, but it is what it is.

 

I'm shocked the child took her allowance and got away with it. I'd be more annoyed with my child then anything else. I'm also curious why your friend didn't demand to know why the lunch wasn't being eaten day after day.

 

I took home an uneaten lunch a few times and I had to answer why. :lol: For me it was lack of time in the cafeteria which really annoyed Mom, but anyway..

[CalicoKat]

A friend said her kindergartener was bringing home most of her packed lunch uneaten. She investigated and found out her daughter has been buying ice cream, candy and slushies at lunch, instead of eating her packed food.

 

I really tried to maintain my composure, but I was like :eek::ack2::angry::banghead::sad::svengo: all at the same time. I cannot believe that those things are available to elementary school kids at lunch time. I'm really, truly appalled and upset about that. When my kids were in school, they could buy chocolate and strawberry milk, and the cafeteria lunches were not exactly healthy, but CANDY, ICE CREAM and SLUSHIES!!! I want to be sick.

My niece convinced her teacher that her mother wasn't feeding her breakfast before school. The teacher immediately put her daughter on the school provided breakfast plan--charged their account too. But my sister didn't find out until later that month when she got the bill. Her dd didn't like oatmeal.

[mirth]

Marion Nestle wrote a lot about sweetheart deals between schools and junk food providers in Food Politics and that book is probably 10 years old. I wouldn't be surprised if they gave the kid free slushies or whatever to get the ball rolling.

Edited December 3, 2011 by mirth

[WIS0320]

YES, let's give teachers ANOTHER thing to worry about/monitor!! Seriously, we complain about schools and teachers but we want them to have so many other jobs than actual teaching. It's like they are running a babysitting service. Where does it end? How about the mom taking some responsibility here?

 

I don't know. I think that expecting a 5 year old K'er to make good food choices is asking an awful lot. I would have been happy to see any adult encouraging the children to eat - period - there is so little free time/chat time in public school even in K these days that it appeared to me that the kids were hungry for interaction more than food and a lot of good food got dumped. You can't tell me that a small child can be productive in the afternoon after lunch if they haven't eaten anything of quality. Yes, I don't think it is out of line to ask that a lunch monitor/assistant make sure that a 5-8 year old child is not just eating jello and fries at lunch.

 

Some of it is the parent's fault - sending kids in with Yahoo, oreos, pretzels and a chips and not one healthy option in the lot is awful and yet I saw a lot of poor quality lunches at the cafeteria table that were clearly packed at home by the parents. But then you circle back around to parent's rights and I've seen how some of those debates go down around here.

 

The sheer magnitude of waste in the cafeteria was mind-boggling to me. We read constantly about food insecurity and children in the USA and well, I think we could feed all the starving people in the world with what children throw away in US lunchrooms across the USA every day. It is unbelievable!

[Joker]

I am not surprised by what is offered but I am surprised a K'er was able to purchase so much without a parent knowing. Older dd is now in ps for middle school and I can log on daily and view what she's purchased. She only buys once or twice a week because the choices are so terrible. It's mostly pizza or french fries with a side of juice or chocolate milk. :glare: She was excited at first but it only took a few weeks for her to ask to quit eating at school.

[Forget-Me-Not]

It made me NUTS! How can decent adults stand by and let tiny children with no impulse control have free choice over their lunches?

 

Because the staff monitoring lunches usually have a to-do list as long as their arm. In my son's school, they had 3 different grades coming in at different times, they had to shepherd them into line here, shepherd them out to recess there, had to keep them from fighting or leaving the cafeteria too early, help open milks and packages, gather up lunchboxes and put them into crates to go back to individual classrooms, etc etc etc.

 

These staff were usually teacher's aides. . . and in our district, there are ever fewer aides working fewer hours and cramming more jobs into those hours they do have. It's unreasonable to expect them to monitor what each and every child eats for lunch each day.

[PhotoGal]

I don't blame the mom. Dd gets an allowance and I don't pay attention to where it is or how much she has. As for the unfinished lunches, that is extremely common because a lot of schools have recess right after lunch (so as soon as you are done eating, you can go play). Of course kids don't want to eat because they would rather be playing!

 

Why would they let a kindergartener buy ice cream every day? That's crazy. They could just offer it once a week if they wanted the kids to have a treat once a week. No, they offer it every day. I don't think they have the kids in mind. I think they do it for the money it brings in.

 

Also, keep in mind that these treats aren't the only ones happening at school. If you have a class of 20 or 30 kids, there are birthday treats coming in every two weeks or so. Plus every holiday has parties which have tons of treats. Schools are supposed to teach the kids to eat healthy, right? It doesn't make sense. How can you teach the kids to eat healthy food and then encourage them to have sugary sweets every day?

 

I would be frustrated if I was the mom, too.

[radiobrain]

This is a funny story....well, to me anyway.

 

So, I walk my neighbor's kid to the bus stop every day and I always ask him about all sorts of stuff. While he was explaining the 2 things he didn't hate about school, he mentioned that he was always starving before lunch and still starving after lunch. I said, "why don't you eat a bigger breakfast and pack more lunch?"

 

"Then I won't have enough lunch for the week."

 

"You should ask your dad for a few more things to put in your lunch every morning or take some $$ to school to buy something."

 

"I'm not spending my $35 on that!"

 

I then discovered that his mom had given him $15 and his dad had given him $20 to go towards his lunch prepaid lunch fund. HE decided to pocket it and chooses to be "starving." Parents are divorced, obviously. I told him that I thought that was wrong, that his parents both expected and PAID for him to eat some extra, and he should at least put some of in his account. Really, a whole lunch in our district is like, 40 cents. But, that's as far as it will go. I'm not going to rat him out, as there is nothing that can be done about it.

 

All I am getting it as that kids do all sorts of things that they can rationalize and are not good for them. Personally, I think the school should have a limit on those snacks, like ONE PER KID, and many things would be solved. I only blame the parents as far as that they are unable to see through walls, and I think their kid is too young for an allowance. :D

[flyingiguana]

Marion Nestle wrote a lot about sweetheart deals between schools and junk food providers in Food Politics and that book is probably 10 years old. I wouldn't be surprised if they gave the kid free slushies or whatever to get the ball rolling.

 

Around here, junk food machines seem to be a major fund raiser for the school. So the teachers encourage the kids to spend money on them.

 

And then the lunch period is so short that once a kid decides what junk to get, waits in line to get it, and then eats it, lunch is already over. They don't have time to eat their real food. They know they don't have time for both, so they have to make a decision.

 

This is not helped by the teachers telling the kids it's practically their civic duty to drop some money in the junk food machines or the school won't have paper next week.

[Melinda in VT]

The situation described in the OP is not normal in elementary school around here, but I live in a community that places a high value on healthy local food and the school responds to that community value.

 

Ice cream (and probably other treats, but ice cream has been the issue in our family) is available during lunch at the middle school and high school. My high school student spends his allowance on ice cream pretty regularly, but that's after eating a healthy lunch, and I don't mind. He's still growing, and runs cross-country and track, and is very lean.

 

I think by middle school, it's appropriate for kids to start making some of their own choices. Kindergarten seems far too young to rely on the child's self-control when sweets are around. (I don't always make wise choices in this area and I'm 40!) And I agree that asking teachers and aides to monitor food intake seems excessive. The only sane approach seems to be to not provide a la carte treats as a regular part of the cafeteria offering in elementary school.

 

Interestingly, I just received an email from my son's kindergarten teacher. In January, they are going to a shared snack once a week. Reading between the lines, it sounds like they may be having a problem with kids bringing sugary snacks to school for snack time and are hoping introducing a weekly shared snack will serve as a way to gently educate parents and kids on healthy alternatives.

[Melinda in VT]

I think it comes down to the mother here. She should have investigated sooner, why her child was bringing lunch home. Just because she isn't monitoring her child doesn't mean another child can't buy an ice cream as a treat once a week.

I'm shocked at these schools telling parents what they can/cannot pack in their kids' lunches! If I want to send a couple cookies in my kids lunch, along with a sandwich and piece of fruit and milk, what business is it of theirs? I'd appreciate the government staying out of my kitchen, thank you.

 

I didn't see anyone talking about a school that wouldn't let you send cookies with your kids' lunches. I saw a post where the teachers didn't let kids each cookies for snack time.

 

At our school, kindergarten students take two snacks to school (morning and afternoon). These snacks are supposed to be healthy, something to give the kids a little energy boost so they can continue learning and playing without being distracted by hunger. The last thing the kindergarten teacher wants is a room full of kids on a sugar high/sugar crash loop.

 

I absolutely think that the school has the right to exert some control over the foods kids eat on school grounds. The government intrudes in all of our kitchens in many ways, but this is not one of them.

[Catwoman]

Do you check your kids' allowance money regularly? Do you check their pockets every day before they leave? Or do you hang on to their allowance money and make them take it out of your bank?

 

I can totally see a parent missing this for a couple months. Once I give my kids their allowance and we work out the saving and charity portions, I don't look at it.

 

Several people have mentioned that once they give their kids their allowance, they don't know where it goes, but how does a 5 year-old spend money without Mom or Dad knowing about it? Does she just borrow the car and drive herself to the mall?

 

My ds has always had quite a bit of spending money, but I have always known what he bought with it -- and I still do, even though he's almost 12 and has never given me even the slightest reason to worry about what he might buy. Why? Because I am the one who has always driven him to Gamestop or Walmart or Toys R Us. (If he went with his grandparents, they always paid for whatever he wanted, but they also always told me exactly what they'd purchased.) If he was suddenly flat broke, you can bet I'd want to know exactly where that money had gone.

 

I'm just not getting the concept of a 5 year-old was spending her allowance every week and the mom not having a clue about it for months. Did she think the kid was saving for a house? Putting it into a tidy little retirement fund?

 

I guess she's lucky the kid isn't a little older and spending it on drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol... because she may not have found out about that at all until there was a huge problem.

Edited December 3, 2011 by Catwoman

[Melinda in VT]

Several people have mentioned that once they give their kids their allowance, they don't know where it goes, but how does a 5 year-old spend money without Mom or Dad knowing about it? Does she just borrow the car and drive herself to the mall?

 

My ds has always had quite a bit of spending money, but I have always known what he bought with it -- and I still do, even though he's almost 12 and has never given me even the slightest reason to worry about what he might buy. Why? Because I am the one who has always driven him to Gamestop or Walmart or Toys R Us. (If he went with his grandparents, they always paid for whatever he wanted, but they also always told me exactly what they'd purchased.) If he was suddenly flat broke, you can bet I'd want to know exactly where that money had gone.

 

I'm just not getting the concept of a 5 year-old was spending her allowance every week and the mom not having a clue about it for months. Did she think the kid was saving for a house? Putting it into a tidy little retirement fund?

 

I guess she's lucky the kid isn't a little older and spending it on drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol... because she may not have found out about that at all until there was a huge problem.

 

How would you know your 5yo was flat broke unless he or she told you? My kids get allowance, but we don't count up their money on a regular basis. Usually the amount they have comes to our attention right before a vacation, when we remind them to bring money to spend. (We live in a rural location and my kids don't often have an opportunity to spend their money.) Sometimes we are shocked by how much one kid has saved up. Other times we find out that our high schooler has been spending a lot of money on snacks at school. ;)

 

There's no issue of the kid driving herself to the mall. :confused: She spent the money at school.

[Joanne]

Also, when my daughter was in K last year I would go eat lunch with her pretty often. The lunch assistants are in the room but they never told the kids to eat or encouraged them to try healthier options. I was always the mom at the table telling the child to at least eat the chicken on their bun instead of eating just the fries and jello.

 

It made me NUTS! How can decent adults stand by and let tiny children with no impulse control have free choice over their lunches? And knowing that our brains work better with protein and healthy foods, no wonder the afternoon is a lost cause in most public school classrooms - the kids are comatose from carb over-load and sugar crashing.

 

It's not their job.

 

It seems that other adults in the lives of our kids can't win, really. We either expect them to have too great a role, or too little.

 

I, personally, would not want a random adult I do not know interacting with my kid over food.

[Laurie4b]

we had ice cream at my elementary school 40 years ago. I thought and think it was very appropriate. I only bought it when my mom put a dime (yep, a dime) in my lunch box for it. I am guessing the teachers also monitored us, because I don't recall kids not eating their lunch first. There was a line to get ice cream toward the end of lunch.

 

However, this is a parenting issue primarily. THe mom should know whether the child is taking $$ to school with her. If she's spending her allowance this way, then mom can take better control of the allowance.

[Jenny in GA]

This is a little different than what you're talking about, but I remember distinctly in high school there being an "a la carte" lunch line, in addition to the regular line. I had a friend who went through the line and got a HoHo or DingDong and a chocolate milk every day for lunch. We were both fourteen.

 

We also had what was called a "Student Store." It was open at various hours, especially the beginning of the day. They sold candy, coke, and chips. I remember one day (this was not the norm for me) going there and buying a Coke right before homeroom started.

[Tigger]

In Missouri, they passed a law that schools could not sell junk. Soda machines became juice and water machines. Parents could not take cookies or cup cakes for life birthdays. I think it is that way around here too. They don't go through the packed lunches, so you can send what you want, but they can't buy soda and candy.

 

Our school district must have missed the memo - daily choices include rice krispie treats, three varieties of gold fish, smuckers uncrustables, gummy fruit chews and cookies. These are promoted as "healthy" options. I'm sorry, but these are not "healthy" - they're highly proccessed, high in sugar and are nutritionally void. Now I honestly wouldn't have a problem if something like these were offered maybe once a week, as a treat for the kids - but it's an everyday thing, it's normalized as good options.

[QueenCat]

The kids went to ps for elementary. They could buy ice cream but not until the last 7 minutes of their lunch period.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It was a parenting failure. It happens. It's happened to me many times. I don't blame others but make appropriate steps to correct it.

[Catwoman]

How would you know your 5yo was flat broke unless he or she told you?

 

I guess I could ask the same question in reverse -- how could you not know how your 5yo was spending his or her money? I don't think many 5 year olds are responsible enough to always make sensible buying choices, so I don't think it's a great idea for average kindergartners to bring a potentially large stash of money to school with them every day. Also, they could lose the money or have it stolen from them.

 

My kids get allowance, but we don't count up their money on a regular basis. Usually the amount they have comes to our attention right before a vacation, when we remind them to bring money to spend. (We live in a rural location and my kids don't often have an opportunity to spend their money.) Sometimes we are shocked by how much one kid has saved up. Other times we find out that our high schooler has been spending a lot of money on snacks at school. ;)

 

I think there's a huge difference between giving your teenager the freedom to make decisions about buying snacks at school, and giving your 5 year old the same opportunity. If the Mom in Question was going to hand a 5 year old enough money to buy junk food every day at school (which probably isn't cheap,) she probably should have given her some guidelines about what the kid could and could not buy with it. Frankly, I don't buy the idea that the mom had no idea that junk food was sold in public school cafeterias. I am probably a lot older than that mom, and even I remember the ice cream, cakes, and chips being sold in our elementary school cafeteria.

 

There's no issue of the kid driving herself to the mall. :confused: She spent the money at school.

 

I think it's pretty obvious I was being sarcastic about the kid driving herself to the mall. ;) :D

Edited December 3, 2011 by Catwoman

[Guest]

It's not their job.

 

It seems that other adults in the lives of our kids can't win, really. We either expect them to have too great a role, or too little.

 

I, personally, would not want a random adult I do not know interacting with my kid over food.

 

:iagree:

 

One of the reasons I homeschool in the first place is that I do want primary control of what is going on in my young child's life all day long. I'm okay with having less of this as they get older, which is why I accept my 14yo being in school, but as Rosie says so well, I like a little power with my responsibility.

 

I would be crazed if a lunch monitor at school interfered with my child's lunch. No - I would not want my kid to eat HoHos for lunch, but it is also possible that someone could give my kid a talking-to because their home-packed sandwich has a lot of sodium or because their drink contains artificial color. Who is to say where the line should be drawn?