How far would you go to be able to continue to homeschool?

[Just Kate]

Would you let your home foreclose (assuming you have somewhere else to live)? Would you declare bankruptcy? Would you quit a well-paying job?

 

Just some things I'm thinking about these days.

 

 

ETA: I added this in a post below, but thought I would add it here as well.

Okay...what if you were no longer living in the house (instead living in a rental in another state). Would you feel right letting the house that you own foreclose so that you could continue to homeschool?

Edited December 2, 2011 by mandos mom

[Jean in Newcastle]

No. Shelter and food are more important than education. And there are other educational opportunities outside of homeschooling.

[cindergretta]

Listening in. :)

[regentrude]

No.

When I pulled my kids out of school, it was under the condition that I would only homeschool if I did NOT have to quit my job.

If I could not homeschool for whatever reasons, my kids would attend a school and we'd supplement if necessary. I only homeschool because the local schools do not have the academic level we want.

[WishboneDawn]

Would you let your home foreclose (assuming you have somewhere else to live)? Would you declare bankruptcy? Would you quit a well-paying job?

 

Just some things I'm thinking about these days.

 

I wouldn't do anything that would threaten my family's security or be traumatic for the kids. Foreclosure and bankruptcy would do both for us, me giving up a job would not.

[Just Kate]

Okay...what if you were no longer living in the house (instead living in a rental in another state). Would you feel right letting the house that you own foreclose so that you could continue to homeschool?

[GWOB]

After 3 years of homeschooling, I am a complete believer. I believe it is best for my children and my family.

 

However, if I had to choose between homeschooling and providing a home for my family, I would choose providing a home. Stability and security are important to children. I know some public schools are not great, but consistancy is just too important in a child's life. I would do what I had to do to provide for my family. If you have to give up homeschooling to provide for your family, that doesn't make you a failure. That makes you a mom.

[regentrude]

Okay...what if you were no longer living in the house (instead living in a rental in another state). Would you feel right letting the house that you own foreclose so that you could continue to homeschool?

 

No. I would feel obliged to pay my debts.

Defaulting on debt is not something I would want to model for my children.

[Liz CA]

Okay...what if you were no longer living in the house (instead living in a rental in another state). Would you feel right letting the house that you own foreclose so that you could continue to homeschool?

 

This is difficult because I gather the house in the other state holds little value for you right now and has become a financial burden. Have you considered short sale? There is also deed in lieu of foreclosure, not sure if it shows up different on your record than regular foreclosure.

It boils down to ethics, more or less. Can you take a job and then make the payments? Are you willing to try this for one year, two years? Is there a chance that the house will sell or is there little hope? Can you try for a job that enables you to continue homeschooling and work evenings? Would a small business like selling "Pampered Chef" or "Tupperware" meet your needs?

[Just Kate]

This is difficult because I gather the house in the other state holds little value for you right now and has become a financial burden. Have you considered short sale? There is also deed in lieu of foreclosure, not sure if it shows up different on your record than regular foreclosure.

It boils down to ethics, more or less. Can you take a job and then make the payments? Are you willing to try this for one year, two years? Is there a chance that the house will sell or is there little hope? Can you try for a job that enables you to continue homeschooling and work evenings? Would a small business like selling "Pampered Chef" or "Tupperware" meet your needs?

 

I work a part-time job and earn a good salary. Dh has a newish job (great opportunity) but works out of town. Our jobs are not meshing at all.

 

We are completely underwater in our house. We tried renting it out, but after a few months our tenants stopped paying. Now we are working out how to get them to pay and get them out. The house is over 3 hours away, so this is stressful.

 

If we continue with things as they are, the kids will have to go to school and we will continue to be stressed out all the time (due to our house and my job).

 

It is possible that I could quit...but then we couldn't afford to keep the house.

 

We are still in the preliminary "thinking stage". It is definitely a moral/ethical decision for me. I almost feel that I'm having to choose between what is best (as deemed by society) and what is best for my family (as deemed by me). However, there is overlap, and I realize this.

 

I just wish there were an obvious black and white answer to our problem.

[JudoMom]

I work a part-time job and earn a good salary. Dh has a newish job (great opportunity) but works out of town. Our jobs are not meshing at all.

 

We are completely underwater in our house. We tried renting it out, but after a few months our tenants stopped paying. Now we are working out how to get them to pay and get them out. The house is over 3 hours away, so this is stressful.

 

If we continue with things as they are, the kids will have to go to school and we will continue to be stressed out all the time (due to our house and my job).

 

It is possible that I could quit...but then we couldn't afford to keep the house.

 

We are still in the preliminary "thinking stage". It is definitely a moral/ethical decision for me. I almost feel that I'm having to choose between what is best (as deemed by society) and what is best for my family (as deemed by me). However, there is overlap, and I realize this.

 

I just wish there were an obvious black and white answer to our problem.

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry you're going through this. What a difficult spot to be in! :grouphug:

[Susann]

No. I would feel obliged to pay my debts.

Defaulting on debt is not something I would want to model for my children.

:iagree:

[jennsmile]

My parents were great examples to me.

 

They pulled us out of public school to homeschool us due to lack of academics.

 

They went through both marital and financial crisis during the 4 years of my highschool career.

 

They sought finacial counseling and got on a plan to pay off thier debt. My dad work second jobs, night manager at a hotel on the weekends or dishwasher at a resturant.

 

My parents paid off their debt and were able to keep my mom home teaching us kids. But because we were home we witnessed first hand their dedication to keeping our house afloat. They budgeted for expenses, paid cash, paid tithing and lived on less so we could have a roof over our head. We rarely ate out.

[jennsmile]

Try a short sale on your house that you are renting. Something would be better than nothing.

 

Either one of you needs to get a second job or find a way to generate more income till your resolve the issue.

[Donna]

I would not go into bankruptcy or house foreclosure to homeschool.

 

I do work less hours and we do without things we see as "extravagant" personally to be able to do it...older cars...except that my parents gave us money toward a new one last Christmas and we purchased a simple Civic without any bells or whistles, fewer gadgets, old tv, no smart phones, downsized house, etc...

[JessReplanted]

No. Shelter and food are more important than education. And there are other educational opportunities outside of homeschooling.

 

:iagree:

[DawnM]

Did you move because of your husband's job?

 

If you can afford to pay, I personally think you should.

 

I would find another way to make homeschooling work if you can (DVD school, cyber school, workbooks) that won't require as much of your attention, but I wouldn't quit a job.

 

However, I am also not opposed to sending my children to school if I need to. I prefer not to, but if something were to happen to DH, I would most likely go back to work and send the kids to school.

 

I am also a strong believer in not walking away from obligations unless you have no choice, however, it does sound like you have a choice, you just don't like the choice.

 

Dawn

[FaithManor]

I would feel the need to pay the debt, set an example to my children, well...if that were possible. For some mothers, given the unemployment rate here in the states, and the midwest being particularly bad, they may not be able to get employment.

 

But, there is one caveat. I would not place my children's physical or mental health ahead of the house/bankruptcy. If my child were experiencing the kind of torturous bullying (recent threads come to mind...children who have commited suicide, children who have been told by other kids to go ahead and kill themselves, being beaten badly in the school bathroom, murder threats, etc.), there is no way that house would that debt would be that important to me. No way! I tutored a young lady who was the target of a plot by the other girls on the cheerleading squad. They decided she wasn't as talented as the alternate and wanted her to become sick enough to not be able to compete. Thankfully, one of the girls chickened out and told the principal...arsenic was found in the lockers of three of the girls. They inteded to poison her food every lunch period if they could manage it.

 

Also, if my child had a learning disability or physical disability that the school couldn't manage (this happens a lot in our area...very rural, very few resources, and the state can mandate what it wants but if you can't find the people, if you can't hire them, ....then you can't provide the service), I would let the house go.

 

Thankfully, if it came to that, we'd be okay. The Lutheran school that I used to teach at still wants me back. They've never been able to hire an adequate replacement (I taught music 1st-8th grades, science labs 4th -8th grade, a substituted for the kindergarten, 3rd, 5th, and 6th grade teachers as well as provided music therapy to three children on the spectrum and one child with cerebral palsy. That's a combo all in one that just isn't easy to find. They've had to hire three part-timers to cover the job and I use to manage all of that in 20 hrs. per week. So, my place, when I want to return, is secure.) There is another private school here, one that does not care that I've let my certification lapse (first school doesn't care either) that wants me 20 hrs. per week for math and science tutoring as well as running science fairs and all of the labs. So, I do feel that I would easily have employment if something financially unfortunate happened to us.

 

It's a no, yes thing. Under reasonable educational/physical health/mental health assurances, I would absolutely work to pay the debt and keep the house. Under extenuating circumstances for my children, no I would not because as a parent, I also have to consider the long terms effects of things like bullying or not have learning issues addressed and those must come ahead of a house.

 

Faith

[happyhomemaker25]

As a black and white person it's hard for me to admit this is a real grey area.

See, we are in foreclosure, but we have the money to pay our mortgage. Due to a mistake on my part during DH's 2 year unemployment we missed 3 mortgage payments. As soon as I discovered the mistake we started paying our mortgage again. We were still always 3 months behind but we had a plan to catch the whole thing up. at the beginning of this year. Our plan did not work out because the funds we were expecting did not show up, so we kept making regular payments to the mortgage company. Then in April they decided they wanted it all or nothing. They sent out last payment back and told us until we could pay the full amount they would not take anything. We are putting our payment into savings right now. We also filed a hardship package to try to keep our house.

Our house and few medical bills are the only debt we have. When we talked to a financial counselor (a requirement for the hardship package) he told us there was nothing we could change to do better and he wished that all the people he talked to were in is as good of shape as we are, except for the foreclosure.

DH has a job and in January he starts back to school and will be getting a nursing degree and hopefully become a PA one day.

I will not be getting a job. If we lose our house we have a plan in place. A plan my kids will love even more than this old house. LOL They will be safe and sheltered and we'll all be together no matter what.

I won't be getting a job because my kids need me more right now then they need any material thing. Yes, shelter is important but like I said we have a plan so they will always have shelter and security. Because of some issues with my oldest school would only stress and overburden our family. Jobs are scarce around here and I know way to many men trying to find jobs to support their families to even think about taking one. My husband has a weird schedule as a security guard and it would stress our family out if I had a job trying to keep up with two schedules and make sure our kids were being taken care of at all times.

Those are just my reasons. Sometimes the wife taking a job puts more financial stress on a situation then her staying home in my experience. So I'll manage the homefront and keep everything running smoothly in the face of this trial while my husband works to provide for our family.

[StartingOver]

I am firmly for homeschooling. I do not and have never owned a house. We have sacrificed greatly over the years to give our children the education we believe they deserve. So for me, this would be a no brainer. I would let the house go. I would continue to homeschool. It really is that important to me ! I have been a single mom ( with the older children ) while homeschooling ( for 6 years ), worked jobs that I could take my children to like remodeling. We have done without things, those things you wish for. But had everything we truly needed. I have no regrets.

[Tigger]

In a situation like the OP, I think I'd sit down and work out various scenarios to see what might work best for the short and long-term.

 

One thing you haven't mentioned is the option to move back into the house. Right now you are paying rent and a mortgage, and the upkeep and utilities on both - can you eliminate the rent and go back to the house? If your DH needs to be near work- three hours away - can he rent a room, share an apartment or get a small studio nearby and come home on weekends?

[Murphy101]

Would you let your home foreclose (assuming you have somewhere else to live)? Would you declare bankruptcy? Would you quit a well-paying job?

 

Just some things I'm thinking about these days.

 

ETA: I added this in a post below, but thought I would add it here as well.

Okay...what if you were no longer living in the house (instead living in a rental in another state). Would you feel right letting the house that you own foreclose so that you could continue to homeschool?

 

 

Yes. If I felt that was the best thing to do for a better long term good for my child(ren), I absolutely would do that.

 

It's just a building. As long as we have shelter, I'd make do. As long as the job met our basic needs, then the purpose is to work for our lives. Not to spend our lives for work. Bankruptcy. Meh. In many situations bankruptcy can be the smartest and best thing for a person to do, regardless of home schooling. I think if we were that bad off, we would file bankruptcy even if I couldn't continue to home school. We wouldn't like it and we wouldn't be quick to do it, but we wouldn't feel like low lifes or failures about it either.

[inmyopinion]

I absolutely love homeschooling and it has been the best for our family BUT schooling is just one part of our life, albeit a very large part. So long as there was not a specific problem with the local school, even if my children went to public school, we would still hold the same values and beliefs and emphasize the importance of academics. So, if financially I had to place them in school and go back to work, I would. As others have said, I would have a plan as to how long and cut ever unnecessary need with the goal that it be a temporary situation. I know of many families who have had to place their kids in school for a while for other reasons (health).

With that said, there are some creative ways to earn a second income while still homeschooling. Can you tutor? You can make some good money doing that.

[Night Elf]

We are still in the preliminary "thinking stage". It is definitely a moral/ethical decision for me. I almost feel that I'm having to choose between what is best (as deemed by society) and what is best for my family (as deemed by me). However, there is overlap, and I realize this.

 

I just wish there were an obvious black and white answer to our problem.

 

:grouphug: That must be tough. But I did want to comment that your children are very young and going to school may not be the end of the world. Being in school wouldn't be written in stone. You could call it a season ... and have plans to continue homeschooling at a later date.

[Murphy101]

:grouphug: That must be tough. But I did want to comment that your children are very young and going to school may not be the end of the world. Being in school wouldn't be written in stone. You could call it a season ... and have plans to continue homeschooling at a later date.

 

And this is part of what their parenting style and educational philosophy is too.

 

Personally, I can't school based on a year to year "season" attitude. I think it is a detriment to the student to not have a stable education path. I've seen too many students who every year seemed to be a new "plan" and it hurt them academicly and socially. It made progressing slower and harder than it had to be, IMO. I am not saying I have a problem with other parenting doing it. That's their choice and problem. I'm simply saying I would avoid doing that for US.:)

[PiCO]

Would you let your home foreclose (assuming you have somewhere else to live)? Would you declare bankruptcy? Would you quit a well-paying job?

 

I would not financially damage my family to homeschool. When dh died, I did have to make this decision- I put my kids in school (not until the beginning of the next school year for older dd,) because I had to keep the business running by myself.

 

Younger dd was bored out of her mind in school for a couple years. I told her to think of it as daycare- she didn't have to learn, she could goof off and play with her friends all day long. She still learned some and got good grades because that's the kind of kid she is. But she was "socialized" also ;).

 

 

ETA: I added this in a post below, but thought I would add it here as well.

Okay...what if you were no longer living in the house (instead living in a rental in another state). Would you feel right letting the house that you own foreclose so that you could continue to homeschool?

 

I would not teach my children how to be financially irresponsible so I could continue to teach them at home. Actions speak louder than words.

[Joanne]

I have experienced both bankruptcy and foreclosure as a homeschooler, but it was not in an effort to maintain homeschooling.

 

What was given up was "at home mothering", family time, and access to traditional homeschooling activities. I had to go work outside the home, and had to bring additional students into my home. It was not ideal, but it was needed to continue homeschooling.

Edited December 3, 2011 by Joanne

[Mergath]

I guess I'm "lucky" in the sense that, because of my epilepsy and other health issues, I can't really work outside the home. At least, not more than ten hours a week at most, and only if I find a job with a very flexible employer. So, I'll always be able to homeschool. But, if we were in dire financial straits- which was our situation up until a few months ago- there's nothing I can do to help, either.

 

We do live very simply. We rent a duplex, only have one car, and don't spend much money. No cable, and one cell phone for me and dh.

 

Dh also has fairly severe bipolar disorder, and needs an extremely stable home environment to be able to stay on his meds, make it to work each day, and generally keep it together. So, in some ways we're lucky, but in others... not so much. Like everyone, I suppose.

 

If we did have a mortgage and I could work, though, I'd still do anything to homeschool. I'm not going to place a house or money over the needs of my dd.

[TravelingChris]

I think there are cases when bankruptcy and foreclosure are the only options. In my opinion, homeschooling is not so sacred that foreclosure is better. Like Faith, I would change that opinion if the safety of a child was in question or it was the only way an appropriate education could be obtained. However, those cases are rare. For most of us, homeschooling is a luxury. If we are less well off, it may be one of the very few luxuries we have- although everyone on here also has computer access, another luxury, but none the less, it is a luxury.

[ereks mom]

After 3 years of homeschooling, I am a complete believer. I believe it is best for my children and my family.

 

However, if I had to choose between homeschooling and providing a home for my family, I would choose providing a home. Stability and security are important to children. I know some public schools are not great, but consistancy is just too important in a child's life. I would do what I had to do to provide for my family. If you have to give up homeschooling to provide for your family, that doesn't make you a failure. That makes you a mom.

 

:iagree:

[Parrothead]

I have one of those houses in a state far away. I pay rent and a mortgage. There have been times over the last 5 years that I was very tempted to just let the house go. But each time we found a way.

 

There is nothing I could do now at this late stage of the day to earn enough money to pay that mortgage. I'm too old and too broken to go through another academy. But not so old and broken that I can get disability. So I'd have to go to work at Wal-mart as a greeter or something similar.

 

So yes, I'd continue to homeschool and let that house go if it ever comes down to it.

 

Luckily we have had some turn arounds and should be debt free within 2 years. That mortgage included.

[catz]

No. I would feel obliged to pay my debts.

Defaulting on debt is not something I would want to model for my children.

 

:iagree: Kids learn from EVERYTHING their parents do. As a parent I feel my first responsibility is to provide food, shelter, and stability. I love homeschooling my kids, but I consider it a "luxury" for us to be able to have me at home full time schooling the kids. I would consider some basic lifestyle changes or maybe a part time job I could do from home. But if my husband lost his job, the kids would likely return to school.

[Just Kate]

Thank you so much for all of your responses! I never ever dreamed that I would be in this position. When we bought our house 10 years ago (and then when we took out our second mortgage :rolleyes: 5 years ago), I had no idea that the entire housing market would crash. I also had no idea that dh would end up out of work for almost a year, which would cause us to have to move. I also never thought that we would both have jobs that require travel (I travel a few times a month while dh works out of town each week). Our jobs just don't work together. I have to rely on too many people to take care of our kids and it is causing stress on our family. I am willing to get a more "normal" part-time job, but I would definitely take a pay cut, which would mean that we couldn't afford our mortgage. It is a tough decision.

 

I am a Christian and I wholeheartedly believe that God will provide for my family. I am trying to trust in Him right now. I just wish I were a bit better at it.

 

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

[Finnella]

It is a difficult decision. Bankruptcy and/or foreclosure shouldn't be entered into lightly, though you don't seem to be doing that. I should mention that it's much more difficult to get Chapter 7 bankruptcy these days which totally discharges most debt. (Educational loans can't be discharged and home and car loans can't be unless you're willing to relinquish that asset.) I know less about the other type of personal bankruptcy since our situation was so bad that we qualified for Chapter 7.

 

We went through bankruptcy in 2009, after I had been totally disabled for four years. The decision wasn't made because of homeschooling; both of our children were still in ps then. But after years of vastly reduced income (I had been the primary breadwinner) and soaring medical bills, I finally realized that we couldn't ever get out of the hole we were in. When my illness started, the only debt we had was our mortgage payment and one car payment, no credit card debt. And we had a good deal of money in savings. Unfortunately, things can get bad enough that all of our conservative planning just wasn't enough.

 

During this recessions, I've read letters to the editor stating that people should be able to save enough money to cover their periods of unemployment. How many of us honestly have enough savings for a year or two of unemployment? As for anyone who wants to look at my situation and declare me immoral for not repaying my debts, I honestly don't care. It was a painful decision to reach but the best one for my family. And my post is already long enough without listing the many steps we took and budget items we cut to try to avoid bankruptcy.

 

We held onto our house because we had bought something much smaller and less expensive than we could have financed back when we were working. But just so long as I could keep any roof over my children's heads, I would have been satisfied.

 

I doubt I would have gone through all that "just" to homeschool. Though I would probably let an underwater house go into foreclosure if I didn't need it for sheltering my family. I owe my family more than I owe any creditor.

[zookeeper]

I don't consider hsing a luxury for our family. I consider it a necessity. We will do anything (and have done some drastic things!) for me to stay home and school our dc. It really is THAT important to us.

 

If you can't afford the house, let it go. It's just a house. Your kids are only small, needing their mother, for a short time.

[zookeeper]

It is a difficult decision. Bankruptcy and/or foreclosure shouldn't be entered into lightly, though you don't seem to be doing that. I should mention that it's much more difficult to get Chapter 7 bankruptcy these days which totally discharges most debt. (Educational loans can't be discharged and home and car loans can't be unless you're willing to relinquish that asset.) I know less about the other type of personal bankruptcy since our situation was so bad that we qualified for Chapter 7.

 

We went through bankruptcy in 2009, after I had been totally disabled for four years. The decision wasn't made because of homeschooling; both of our children were still in ps then. But after years of vastly reduced income (I had been the primary breadwinner) and soaring medical bills, I finally realized that we couldn't ever get out of the hole we were in. When my illness started, the only debt we had was our mortgage payment and one car payment, no credit card debt. And we had a good deal of money in savings. Unfortunately, things can get bad enough that all of our conservative planning just wasn't enough.

 

During this recessions, I've read letters to the editor stating that people should be able to save enough money to cover their periods of unemployment. How many of us honestly have enough savings for a year or two of unemployment? As for anyone who wants to look at my situation and declare me immoral for not repaying my debts, I honestly don't care. It was a painful decision to reach but the best one for my family. And my post is already long enough without listing the many steps we took and budget items we cut to try to avoid bankruptcy.

 

We held onto our house because we had bought something much smaller and less expensive than we could have financed back when we were working. But just so long as I could keep any roof over my children's heads, I would have been satisfied.

 

I doubt I would have gone through all that "just" to homeschool. Though I would probably let an underwater house go into foreclosure if I didn't need it for sheltering my family. I owe my family more than I owe any creditor.

 

You don't always have to relinquish your house and cars. There are many other options, even in a chapter 7.