Those with severe food allergies, a Christmas WWYD -

[rafiki]

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[Catwoman]

I would stay at home. Not even thinking of the allergy issue, it's a very long drive and it will be exhausting for your dh because he has to get up for work the next morning. It's not as though you'll even be able to spend the whole day there -- it will feel like you just got out of the car, and you'll all be piling right back into it a few hours later.

[Unicorn.]

I would bring a dish for my kids, and maybe even a tablecloth to put over whatever table they will be sitting at. Maybe even some wipes to put out for others to use before they get up from their seats, so as not to spread allergens? A gentle reminder to family about how severe your dc's allergies are, so they can be vigilant. I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to spend time w/ family.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would bring a dish for my kids, and maybe even a tablecloth to put over whatever table they will be sitting at. Maybe even some wipes to put out for others to use before they get up from their seats, so as not to spread allergens? A gentle reminder to family about how severe your dc's allergies are, so they can be vigilant. I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to spend time w/ family.

 

:iagree: It sounds like the host is concerned for your kids, so I would do my best to make it work. Our kids don't get to see our family as much as I would like, and we would not pass up such an opportunity.

[Guest]

I would not go. Too much driving, too much risk. I don't even see how you would have fun. It sounds way too stressful. My children used to have severe life-threatening allergies (before they were desensitized). I avoided going places where everyone was eating because I stressed about it too much. I know more doctors are starting to desensitize... this might be something you could look into.

[West Coast Mom]

Would it be possible to drive up the night before and stay in a hotel? That way you could break up the drive, have longer to see family, and leave a little earlier in the day so your husband can get some rest for work.

[Harriet Vane]

I would not go. Too much driving, too much risk. I don't even see how you would have fun. It sounds way too stressful.

 

:iagree:

[Mom-ninja.]

No, too far for a one day trip

[SonshineLearner]

If you don't go... could you Skype and do some Caroling singing together? Get it all fixed up before??? At least that's a way to kinda "be with" the family all together :)

[jennsmile]

I don't have kids with food allergies so please take anything I say with a grain of salt.

 

If your youngest one is young enough not to speak up about allergies perhaps a big button saying "I am allergic to XYZ, please keep that away from me! Thanks So&So's Mom."

 

I second the idea of going up a little early. Could your dh fly home seperately, then you leave the next day? Is there somebody who lives near you and could drive back with you? Maybe even a mother's helper from your area who could keep on eye on your kiddo so you can enjoy the party. Even if they can't drive they could keep you company/kids entertained as you drive.

 

If it is a sit down dinner I would ask for a seperate table as mentioned and a nice big/even tacky sign please keep XYZ away from this table. Thank you!

[rafiki]

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[rafiki]

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[Remudamom]

Go see your family and make it work. Some of them might not be around next year.

[sbgrace]

I can tell you what I do but I think you have to go with your own comfort level. My son is anaphylactic to tree nuts, sesame, and mango. He's got some other food allergies too. All his anaphylactic episodes have been cross contamination so he's quite sensitive. That said, he's ingestion only/not contact reactive to my knowledge.

 

We just bring his food. His twin (non allergic) eats the same stuff usually and they sit next to each other. I actually bring his dishes and silverware too because of the cross contamination potential. We wash hands well before we eat. I talk to him a lot about keeping his hands out of his mouth. We bring his epi pen, benadryl, inhaler kit of course.

 

I take him to the park, to church, to the library, Disney and on. Any of those places could have trace allergens from peoples hands. So I guess I don't see family visits as any more risky than anything else we do. Similarly, even if people don't serve those foods at an event if they've been eaten in the home previously (especially with little kids) the residue is there.

 

My son does understand not to eat anything anyone offers him. If you think your son would eat something communication with others would be key but I'd have someone responsible shadow him probably anytime anyone, especially a child, has food.

 

I don't know about travel vs. visit. I think whether that would be worth the issues it brings is so individual.

Edited December 1, 2011 by sbgrace

[Spryte]

I can tell you what I do but I think you have to go with your own comfort level. My son is anaphylactic to tree nuts, sesame, and mango. He's got some other food allergies too. All his anaphylactic episodes have been cross contamination so he's quite sensitive. That said, he's ingestion only/not contact reactive to my knowledge.

 

We just bring his food. His twin (non allergic) eats the same stuff usually and they sit next to each other. I actually bring his dishes and silverware too because of the cross contamination potential. We wash hands well before we eat. I talk to him a lot about keeping his hands out of his mouth. We bring his epi pen, benadryl, inhaler kit of course.

 

I take him to the park, to church, to the library, Disney and on. Any of those places could have trace allergens from peoples hands. So I guess I don't see family visits as any more risky than anything else we do. Similarly, even if people don't serve those foods at an event if they've been eaten in the home previously (especially with little kids) the residue is there.

 

My son does understand not to eat anything anyone offers him. If you think your son would eat something communication with others would be key but I'd have someone responsible shadow him probably anytime anyone, especially a child, has food.

 

This is almost exactly what we do. And we have similar allergies - peanut, tree nut, sesame & banana have all caused ana reactions in trace amounts (even airborne).

 

We try our best to keep him safe, we clean off seats in movie theaters, the few restaurants in our comfort zone, and always take our own food.

 

We go to a similar extended family gathering, and what we do is send out a very gently worded question about what people will be bringing, and remind them of our kiddo's allergies, and that he's had airborne reactions. We do it gently, and I don't think we've offended. But we don't deal with milk - so that may be a different situation, harder to ask people to go dairy free.

 

So... on an allergy basis, I personally would go, to create memories with family for my kiddo. And to give him the most normalcy possible. Nevertheless, I'd watch like a hawk, and when we arrive, I'd choose one of his cousins close in age to be his allergy buddy and come get me if there are any issues.

 

The drive on the other hand... No way would I do that in one day. If you can separate it into 2 days... I'd probably go, because we don't see family often!

[Tigger]

Our DS is anaphylatic (sic?) with fish and shellfish, even airborne particles and contact with skin. While I consider it a difficult allergy eating out, it's usually pretty easy for us when going to family affairs since most are willing to nix any fish/shellfish they were considering on their menus.

 

That said, when we have eaten out with family, they've been great about making sure to protect DS.....he can't sit next to someone eating fish, so often we'll have him move if needed; he can't have anyone who has touched fish/shellfish touch him or kiss him, so hand get washed after eating and mouths rinsed; and he can't be in a room with an open-air kitchen, so we choose places with a closed kitchen and still sit far enough away to reduce risk.

 

I think the biggest risk is a kiss on the cheek or touching him - so I'd ask the hostess to maybe let others know to wash hands and rinse mouths after eating to reduce the risk of a reaction!

 

The other thing is DS is well aware of his own need for self-protection and isn't shy about reminding someone if he's watched them eat, say a peeled shrimp across the table and then haven't washed their hands and are coming to give him a hug or kiss on the cheek. He's nice about it, but won't let them touch him without washing hands. He's also great about always asking if something he's offered has any fish in it, including sauces, like Worcestershire (he's stopped two potential disasters himself by knowing what to ask!) and declines things with the highest potential to have a fish ingredient sauce in it (Thai, Chinese, etc.).

[ashfern]

This would be my reason for staying home. That is a lot of driving in one day with 3 young kids.

 

I agree. Ten hour round trip for a few hour visit. :001_huh: