Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I'm wondering if anyone can give me ideas of where I can find other children who love to learn for my girls to be around sometimes. I was reading something by Michael Clay Thompson where he said something about the way gifted children interact when you get them in a room together, and it made me realize that my kids don't have those types of interactions but would LOVE them. I don't know if they are gifted. If they are it would just be level 1, maybe level 2. I don't want to spend money to get them tested just so they can be around other kids who are actually curious and love learning. There must be other things they could be a part of where you don't need an IQ test in order to join. I don't really want them to join a competition of any sort, but I guess I'm open to hearing about them if someone has really enjoyed that experience. They have plenty of friends and are doing fine socially. It's just that it seems like they get the "I hate school" vibe from everyone their age. Or if the kids don't hate school, they just have no interest in discussing or participating in learning new things. So, where can I find kids who love math, love history, love reading, love creating, love learning? I want my kids to have some friends who will talk about more than American Girl dolls and Disney shows they like. It's not that those things are bad, but I'd just like something more for them sometimes…. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I don't have any answers but I am interested to see the responses because I'm starting to wonder the same thing for dd who is 6. We've done a few week long summer classes at our local homeschool store/school but I don't want to put dd there for the regular classes they have because she's several years ahead in curriculum and they are covering stuff we finished already. I can't see paying $1500 a year just for dd to hang out with other smart kids. She gets along well with kids and adults and recently I've started taking her to a larger church in the are for art/drama and Awanas. I put her in a grade ahead and she's having lots of fun but I know as she gets older she's going to realize the children around her aren't interested in the same things as her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 The boys attended a chess club which had some pretty studious people attending. They also belonged to a home educators' book group. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matilda Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 They have plenty of friends and are doing fine socially. It's just that it seems like they get the "I hate school" vibe from everyone their age. Or if the kids don't hate school, they just have no interest in discussing or participating in learning new things. So, where can I find kids who love math, love history, love reading, love creating, love learning? I want my kids to have some friends who will talk about more than American Girl dolls and Disney shows they like. It's not that those things are bad, but I'd just like something more for them sometimes…. There are lots and lots of gifted kids who say they hate school and who obsess about American Girl dolls. Seeking out gifted friends for them is not necessarily going to equate lots of stimulating interaction. So unless you have say, a history buff and are trying to find another history buff, then a generic gifted child is not necessarily going to be a better friend than the kids they already interact with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Thanks for posting this. I have the exact same question! Ds is currently best friends with the boy next door. He is not a bad kid, but he is not at all interested in learning/academics and says things like "Chess is stupid." :glare: I would love to find ds some peers who enjoy learning. He really developed a hatred toward "learning" while in private school for two years. Homeschooling is helping, but he still occasionally says he doesn't like learning. It makes me so sad to hear that. He used to love learning as a preschooler before school changed that. :( Anyway, I've thought of something like a chess club, but I think something non-competitive would be better. Ds likes competition only when he wins. :tongue_smilie: But if your girls are okay with competition, I would look at Odyssey of the Mind or Destination Imagination. Also, maybe a "mad science" type class or lego? Maybe a music school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 What I've found is this-if I really "click" with and like the mom, chances are high that DD with "click" with the child and they'll end up finding common ground. I think that's because gifted parents tend to have gifted kids, and if I can relax with someone and not feel the strain of trying to meet them at their level, often DD has a similar experience. She currently has one friend (who unfortunately she doesn't see very often) who's a very good match for her-and was recently identified as being HG+. She also has two older girls at co-op who have similar interests (and are also both identified GT and homeschooled because schools were a poor fit) and have taken her under their wing, and don't seem to mind that she just turned 7 when they're 11 and 12 respectively. DD loves her Mad Science class now that she's with a good group for her, but we had to bump her up to the older age group for it to be a good fit-she was extremely frustrated in the younger class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adrielle.martin Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 The gifted always find their way out or they are better off among themselves thus building a better bond for future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 The boys attended a chess club which had some pretty studious people attending. They also belonged to a home educators' book group. Laura My girls don't know anything about chess yet. I actually got some books and videos from the library on it recently but we didn't get around to reading/watching them - most likely because I find it boring. Maybe I'll try again. I don't know if I really want them in a competition, though. The book group might be a good idea.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 There are lots and lots of gifted kids who say they hate school and who obsess about American Girl dolls. Seeking out gifted friends for them is not necessarily going to equate lots of stimulating interaction. So unless you have say, a history buff and are trying to find another history buff, then a generic gifted child is not necessarily going to be a better friend than the kids they already interact with. I don't care about the label. Like I said, I don't know if my kids are even gifted at all or just bright. So it doesn't matter if it's a group specifically intended for gifted kids or not. I was just inspired by what MCT said about getting gifted kids in a room together and realized that my kids don't have that kind of atmosphere except with each other at home. My kids don't seem to be really obsessed with one thing. The have really broad interests and it usually follows what we are studying in school (one reason I'm not sure they're gifted - they don't fixate on subjects that they discover on their own and neglect everything else.) We're studying Ancient Egypt right now so they've been reading library books about that subject over and over. We just started learning grammar and they are super excited to find the parts of speech in the language they hear or read. They absolutely love math. They want me to give them math problems or spelling words while we eat. They LOVE poetry, beg for read-alouds, play piano constantly throughout the day, create things out of clay, love painting and drawing, etc. They just like learning. Where can I find kids who are just as excited as mine are about those things? One problem I run into sometimes is that my 6 yo often says things that my 8 yo's friends don't understand - usually when she's talking about math concepts that she finds so cool. They just kind of stare at her. And I don't like how adults gush over how smart my kids are when they hear them read or talk about various subjects. I know I just went way over to a different topic.... Sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 But if your girls are okay with competition, I would look at Odyssey of the Mind or Destination Imagination. I haven't heard of these. I'll check into them. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) What I've found is this-if I really "click" with and like the mom, chances are high that DD with "click" with the child and they'll end up finding common ground. I think that's because gifted parents tend to have gifted kids, and if I can relax with someone and not feel the strain of trying to meet them at their level, often DD has a similar experience. I can see how this would work well... IF I were gifted. I really don't think I am. Above average, maybe. Not gifted. I don't think I have any gifted friends. I often have to explain the meanings of words I use when talking with people. I think my kids got their intelligence from my husband. I often say that he's smarter than me, but I know more than him (because I read all the time and he doesn't read at all). My kids do "click" with the kids they play with (another reason I'm not sure they're actually gifted - they aren't "misfits") but they aren't challenged, stretched mentally, etc. I'd love to see them able to talk about the things they're learning without their friends giving them a blank look or a polite nod and then moving on to other things. Edited December 1, 2011 by Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Maybe they are a little on the young side for this, but I often see announcements for book clubs/discussion groups for girls (or young people, or boys, or some other configuration). Do you have a homeschool message board for your area where you could ask? Sometimes people here just advertise that their child likes XYZ, and if there are any other children out there who enjoy that who would like to get together. Yes, I think they may be too young for a book club yet, plus I am very picky about what my kids read at these young ages so I don't know if I'd like the selections. This may be an option for the future, though... OK, I just checked on our library's website and there is a mother/daughter book club at a library about 30 minutes from us! Yea! There is a Christian homeschool group in our area. No message board, though. Maybe I should go to the meetings. I've been avoiding it because, though we are Christians, we homeschool mostly for academic reasons and I just don't feel like I fit in when I talk to homeschoolers around here. Maybe I'm stereotyping and should give it a chance.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 It's helpful to try the area youth activities. Our boys found gifted friends in their activities..not everyone is gifted in the group, but the ones that were gravitated to each other. Just follow your dc's interests whether that be step dancing, marching band, game club, scouts, swim club, etc. The only place where everyone was gifted was math club through school. Hmmmm... Well, they've done gymnastics, ballet, nature center classes, and pottery class. No friends have come out of those, though. I do want to keep finding new activities for them, so maybe one day they will find a "bosom friend." I've never heard of a game club. I'll have to look into that! Are there math clubs that DON'T compete? That would be really fun for them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran5 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Start a group at your church or ask your local HS association about ideas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matilda Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 My kids don't seem to be really obsessed with one thing. The have really broad interests and it usually follows what we are studying in school (one reason I'm not sure they're gifted - they don't fixate on subjects that they discover on their own and neglect everything else.) We're studying Ancient Egypt right now so they've been reading library books about that subject over and over. We just started learning grammar and they are super excited to find the parts of speech in the language they hear or read. They absolutely love math. They want me to give them math problems or spelling words while we eat. They LOVE poetry, beg for read-alouds, play piano constantly throughout the day, create things out of clay, love painting and drawing, etc. They just like learning. Where can I find kids who are just as excited as mine are about those things? This was my not very well made point. You need to find kids who share their interests, and those kids may or may not be gifted. You may still find what you are looking for within their current set of friends. Have a group over and ask them all to bring a poem or story that they have written to share. I have done this with groups as young as 6 and they love it. When you have kids over to play, get out the clay and the art supplies. Are your dc taking piano lessons or do you you know other kids who are taking lessons? Get them together and have a mini concert with refreshments or ask the piano teacher if she would consider doing a group class every so often. One problem I run into sometimes is that my 6 yo often says things that my 8 yo's friends don't understand - usually when she's talking about math concepts that she finds so cool. They just kind of stare at her. And I don't like how adults gush over how smart my kids are when they hear them read or talk about various subjects. I know I just went way over to a different topic.... Sorry! And while we are off topic . . . I have this, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracyomalley Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 My kids had "friends" when they were 5-7...as in whoever they happend to have a playdate with was their "friend". Only as they are getting close to middle school do I see them starting to make the real connections with similarly minded children that lead to "best buddies". So, number one, don't worry about it too much yet! My kids make their friends through activities - violin/orchestra, team sports (gymnastics has led to great bonds - but only at the competitive level where they spend hours together each day and are all driven to excellence...a characteristic gifted kids understand!), Science class at the local university (primarily homeschooled kids, but mostly kids who love learning about science) has been another way for them to meet kids interested in similar things. (better than the soccer team my oldest participated in where when asked their favorite thing to do all the others said "play video games", and DS said "play my violin") I do remember the small "gifted" group at my school growing up, and bonding over going to plays/ballets, writing our own, dissecting fish...stuff like that in elementary school....I would say that homeschooling with siblings who are also interested in discussing the sinking of the Lusitania versus the Titanic and which was the bigger tragedy (comparing overall loss of life to helping to bring America into WW I, etc) while eating at Skipper's is the same "gifted kid interaction" that MCT is discussing....I'm glad I have 3 kids with similar ages, so they can get this interaction.... In otherwords, find some activities that your kids really love, and as they stick with them, they'll find real "mates", but encourage "gifted" love of learning in your home education environment...you'll eventually find others who do the same - no matter what the IQ level... Erin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 This was my not very well made point. You need to find kids who share their interests, and those kids may or may not be gifted. You may still find what you are looking for within their current set of friends. Have a group over and ask them all to bring a poem or story that they have written to share. I have done this with groups as young as 6 and they love it. When you have kids over to play, get out the clay and the art supplies. Are your dc taking piano lessons or do you you know other kids who are taking lessons? Get them together and have a mini concert with refreshments or ask the piano teacher if she would consider doing a group class every so often. These are great ideas. I think I will try something like this! It will be much more affordable than some other options! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Music lessons, mine meet some like minded kids during group music lessons. What about a pen-pal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 Music lessons, mine meet some like minded kids during group music lessons. What about a pen-pal? What kind of group music lessons? You know, I had thought of a pen pal. I don't know if they'd keep it up, but I guess it couldn't hurt to try! Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 Those classes are too short really and people don't get together afterwards to do things. Try 4H or scouts, parents with G kids tend to use these old established groups for enrichment and they all have enough time and appropriate activities built in to the year long, once per week program that the kids can get to know each other and form relationships. Also swim club...many kids have a lot of energy and the parents like to burn it off with swimming on weeknights in the winter - if your child is comfortable talking to another child she'll strike up friendships. I like the swim idea. My oldest definitely has extra energy! Noncompetitive math clubs are around, but it really depends on where you live. When our school based math club dissolved, I found that there was no interest in doing a community club -- most of the interest in the school club came from parents who were looking for resume enhancements and had been pushing their children in to math club. Most of these children are also in a sport, music group, take private instrument lessons, participate in church youth group and scouting/4H, so the availability to get together for a non-school based math club is nonexistant as the transport time is too much. Can homeschoolers join a school math club? I think I'll call our school district and ask. Oh, but aren't they for 4th grade and up? My kids aren't that old yet. The other thought I'll leave is that 'bosom friends' have their advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantage that is the biggest is that the joining up prevents the friends from forming new friendships (since they haven't practiced that skill since they met & their time is consumed with the existing friendship) and exploring interests that aren't mutually agreeable. Yep, I see your point here. I'll watch out for that. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) There are lots and lots of gifted kids who say they hate school and who obsess about American Girl dolls. My child is gifted and she LOVES American Girl dolls. (I don't think I'd say she obsesses, but she loves to read the books and play with the dolls.) She also likes to do other things. She spends a LOT of time reading and playing music... so the fact that she wants to spend a lot of time with the dolls doesn't bother me. A girl is only young once. A few years from now those dolls will all be put away somewhere and I'll be able to look back fondly on the time she was a little girl who liked to dress them up and do their hair. Oh, and one of her "bosom friends" (that term makes me LOL) is another gifted little girl who loves to read and play music AND loves American Girl dolls! Funny how that worked out! Edited December 3, 2011 by zaichiki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 What kind of group music lessons? You know, I had thought of a pen pal. I don't know if they'd keep it up, but I guess it couldn't hurt to try! Thank you! Dd6 recently became pen pals with the daughter of another board member here. I responded to a request on the networking board. I give her an assignment to write a letter during lesson time to make sure it gets done. They've only exchanged a few letters so far but dd is thrilled to write and to receive the letters. I plan to keep substituting letter writing for the occasional lesson until she starts writing regularly without being prompted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Dd8 has met some amazing kids at our local CC and at her Spanish class (where she is the youngest). She met her favorite little boy pal at his Lego robotics competition yesterday. I appreciate the fact that parents of advanced students 'get' me. We can discuss nerdy topics that my other hs friends wouldn't find interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 What kind of group music lessons? You know, I had thought of a pen pal. I don't know if they'd keep it up, but I guess it couldn't hurt to try! Thank you! Sorry, my children do suzuki violin lessons. A big part of the suzuki philosophy is playing in a group to encourage each other, so most teachers should organise some group lessons. My children's teacher does about 2 a term, plus there is the state suzuki organisation which runs classes, concerts and workshops to participate in. Suzuki is also a very parent-involved philosophy, so most participants have some things in common. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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