Tap Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) DD5 has Aspergers and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (and ADD we suspect). She is a very, very difficult child to raise, to say the least. She has been kicked out of a daycare and is now on the verge of getting kicked out of another. We have done weekly therapy with her since she was 2yo. She has/has had OT, BT and a psychiatrist. She is medicated, but it only helps a smidge. Today, I babysat a friends normal functioning 3yo. A feisty, only child, but normal functioning. It made me so sad to see first hand how different the girls are. :( I know dd5s issues. I live her issues. I duck while she throws shoes at me. Just to spend the day with a normal child, was sad. Sad for me about dd5. About how she still acts like a 2yo. How the world revolves around her 100% and everyone else is just an uninvited visitor in her world. It was sad to see dd5s achievements from weeks and weeks of therapy, to come so naturally to the 3yo. DD5 was upset when her friend had to leave, but even at 3yo....the friend didn't want to stay and play with dd5. :( I don't blame her, you don't really play with dd5, she plays around her visitors, and it had better be what dd5 wants to play....or else. Or else what, well there isn't any other option. What made me the saddest....was remembering what it was like to enjoy a little one being in the house. It has been a long time since I have felt like that. Edited December 1, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 HUGS!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningmama Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug: I know it's rough to be around kids who are different from yours. Just keep going on and make the best out of everything you can. I've been through this because I have the high-need/spirited children and whenever they have been around the "well-behaved, perfect, calm children" I have had myself a little pity party. Especially when the other mothers look down on my parenting and boast (although indrectly) of theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 DD5 has Aspergers and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (and ADD we suspect). She is a very, very difficult child to raise, so say the least. She has been kicked out of a daycare and is now on the verge of getting kicked out of another. We have done weekly therapy with her since she was 2yo. She has/has had OT, BT and a psychiatrist. She is medicated, but it only helps a smidge. Today, I babysat a friends normal functioning 3yo. A feisty, only child, but normal functioning. It made me so sad to see first hand how different the girls are. :( I know dd5s issues. I live her issues. I duck while she throws shoes at me. Just to spend the day with a normal child, was sad. Sad for me about dd5. About how she still acts like a 2yo. How the world revolves around her 100% and everyone else is just an uninvited visitor in her world. It was sad to see dd5s achievements from weeks and weeks of therapy, to come so naturally to the 3yo. DD5 was upset when her friend had to leave, but even at 3yo....the friend didn't want to stay and play with dd5. :( I don't blame her, you don't really play with dd5, she plays around her visitors, and it had better be what dd5 wants to play....or else. Or else what, well there isn't any other option. What made me the saddest....was remembering what it was like to enjoy a little one being in the house. It has been a long time since I have felt like that. I know that no 2 kids are the same, but I will pass along what has helped my dd with Asp & GAD. She takes 4 adult omega oils every day. And we took her off red & yellow artificial colors. Like I said, no 2 kids are the same, but these two things made a HUGE difference in our DD. And I know exactly what you are saying. DD7 is now helping her big sis with some of her anxieties, and works to talk her down out of some of her meltdowns. Breaks my heart for BOTH of them. A 7 yr old shouldn't be playing psychiatrist, and well, you know why mama's heart is aching for her 10 yr old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :crying: I'm sorry. That has got to be very hard. I wish I had advice. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Hugs. You are not alone. My oldest has Asperger's and was asked to leave 2 pre-schools. It broke my heart, esp. since we had NO IDEA at the time what was going on. I was told I was a bad parent and every meeting with the administrators and psychologists ware spent asking me a boatload of questions about what *I* was doing to have created this monster. Of course, they weren't bright enough to see that my middle son had none of these issues and that maybe it wasn't my parenting! Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Huge :grouphug: ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 What made me the saddest....was remembering what it was like to enjoy a little one being in the house. It has been a long time since I have felt like that. :grouphug: For making the best of what must be a hard situation for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I'm so sorry. I get it. My Aspie is 10 years older than my NT daughter. When my son was young i didn't realize he was so different. I didn't grieve then. I did grieve when I saw how different my daughter is, even as a baby/toddler. I see how she interacts with other people and it makes me want to cry for what my son never had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I understand. I get so used to being around my ds that I sometimes forget how NT kids his age are. My son can not speak either, and we had a friend whose daughter is only a month or so older than my ds. We eventually just lost the friendship, because I couldn't bear having my son's deficits so exquisitely highlighted. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 It was sad to see dd5s achievements from weeks and weeks of therapy, to come so naturally to the 3yo. :grouphug: This is exactly my world today too. My heart is breaking when I see ds 2 complete in 5 minutes work that it took my ds 1 weeks and months to achieve even with therapy. It is just so so hard and unfair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: On her behalf I want to thank you for loving her, and giving her a life she might not otherwise have. I know somewhere in there, she loves you for it, even when she can't show you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I have this every day with kids that are so close in age. I get to see how my older Aspie son "should" be reacting to things. Ds2 is so typical and it's such a contrast to ds1. Along with a PP's suggestion of getting rid of food dyes, getting rid of processed sugars has also helped tremendously with my boy. Night and day difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Just this week I longed for "normal". Couple that with a feeling of complete inadequacy to parent the child . . . :grouphug: Just know you're not alone and those feelings are legitimate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I know how you feel, Tap. I think we have these babies and we assume everything will be fine and we assume "normal". My oldest is tough. I look back and wish I had been more patient. I wish I could understand him more. I was frustrated with the meltdowns and the quirks ("don't take my picture" for 2 years!, only plain yellow shirts for a long time). I didn't realize how not normal he was until I had my ds8. Now I grieve and worry and worry and grieve. Hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug: to you. Just last month my dyslexic 8yo took a stack of "easy to read" books off the shelf and sat on my bed to try them out. I peeked at her through the doorway only to see her pick up a book, leaf through a couple pages with a frown on her face then set it aside for another book. After a few books she started silently crying. I started crying, too. After she left my room ds, two years younger, without learning problems found the books and brought them out to the kitchen and read them all aloud. Made me cry again. We sit at the piano in frustration for over an hour every day because she wants to play so badly. She has been taking lessons for three years from a wonderful teacher. Ds started in September and has whipped through the first book & should be starting the book dd is in next month. The teacher said he is one of the most gifted students she has ever had. His success just points out that everything is a struggle for her. Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 So Sorry!! :( I admire you:) Hope you get some sunshine today!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 DD5 has Aspergers and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (and ADD we suspect). :grouphug: 3ds is an aspie/spd/anxiety and some ld's too, and I'm pretty sure if I'd been evaluated, I would be too. Have you ever taken her to a DAN!dr to disucss diet? Especially if she's a picky eater. diet can have a huge impact on aspies. some are so food sensitive, that removing the sensitive foods from their diets can transform their personality and SPD challenges. (or at least make them more manageable) I've already removed nitraites (I noticed the increased aggressiion when he ate them, so I took them out.), and now am looking at removing gluten from his. the common offenders are gluten, casein, yeast, and soy if you want to do some research. it may be one, it may be all, or it may be none. I'm sensitive to yeast, and removing it (and everything that feeds it) from my diet was a huge difference in how I felt. I could think, I had energy, it was great. dh has a client who is an autism coordinator - she coordinates the varioius therapies for the child, so she works with more severe spectrum kids every day. she stated she has seen good outcomes for asd kids who do DAN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I was frustrated with the meltdowns and the quirks ("don't take my picture" for 2 years!, . he lets you take his picture? what changed? we're still going through that. and the meltdowns . . . . (and someone at thanksgiving had to take pictures of everyone at the table, with no warning until the camera came out. grrrr.) I take pictues of his projects and he won't be in them. 2ds helped him with a ninja mask for one recently - so he was in it. we could see his eyes.;) another, he held his stuffed cat, that held the project, in front of his face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Are there any special needs pre-school programs around? Ones where they are not main-streamed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug:Hugs. I remember that like yesterday.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Thanks for all the hugs and support today. I needed it. I will come back and answer some of the more specific comments at another time. Today, I am still a bit raw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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