Twinmom Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Let me begin by saying that this isn't meant to be a thread about FB and that we will take down the acct since she is 12 and didn't have permission to open it. We also feel like we have the discipline issue handled, at least to the best of our ability at this point (though gentle suggestions are welcome...she has special needs and has to be handled differently). My questions are more about how to support DD's need to develop socially when she is stretching herself further than she is able to safely do at this time. Tweens are hard, and she more challenging than most! :rolleyes: DD has a mild brain injury that affects her working memory, emotional control and judgement. She is working mightily to overcome her disabilities, working over the summer to catch up to grade level, doing bi-weekly neurofeedback in a city requiring a 3 hr round trip commute, taking two grade levels of math at the same time as well as participating in tutoring. She attends a small Christian private school with kids who are basically good kids (though definitely more socially mature than DD) and with faculty who is involved and cares about character issues. Those are the good points. The bad points are that she is socially immature, naive, often chooses to be defiant to get what she wants instead of "working the system" (ie., earn my trust in x way and you can have x privilege) and needs to take medication to help control her emotional roller coaster. She also developed early and looks like a gorgeous 16 year old...oh boy! So, nothing is clear cut with her and every day is a challenge. She REALLY wants that FB acct, an email acct, a phone and text privileges. What kid her age doesn't? Probably 75% of the kids in her grade have these things and seem to use them responsibly most of the time (as I said, good kids). She really wants to fit in with these kids, who all seem to like her and accept her but, as I mentioned, are definitely more mature. I want to help her communicate well with us and confidently fit in with the group, but I don't feel that she is mature and trustworthy enough for the media options she wants to have. I just don't think she has the judgement yet to keep herself safe and I know she will try to circumvent protective measures I might put in place. I feel like I am a bit between a rock and a hard place with her...I know I still need to restrict her, but I sure want her to be able to grow and expand her world safely. So, I'm looking for some thoughts and ideas. This kid is a challenge every day and I could use a fresh perspective. TIA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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