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teaching a child to listen without interrupting


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We are constantly having to correct dd6 for interrupting at home. I had the opportunity today to listen in as she was talking to her friend, and dd interrupted every time the other little girl opened her mouth! I had to give her the "look" several times and motion for her to let her friend talk.

 

So this is obviously a pervasive habit in dd's life, not just something she does at home, and I can see it leading to major social difficulties. How can I help her?

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Try talking stick, bet it helps a lot..

 

http://changingminds.org/blog/0604blog/060412blog.htm

 

Above link leads to a short explanation, kids think it's cool.

 

When we have had our "say", we announce the end of our talking and the next turn by saying, "And that is all."...and then lay down the stick.

 

This works super with conflict resolution with groups of kids also.

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This may or may not work with a child, but I had to train DH when we first moved in together.

 

I would completely stop talking and stare at him every time he would interrupt me. After he was done, I would ask if it was my turn yet. After about a month he finally realized what he was doing and stopped for the most part.

 

I had to explain to him that when someone interrupts another person, it makes the interrupted feel like they don't matter. The interrupter is saying that their opinions and ideas are vastly more important than anything the other person could possibly say. He genuinely had no idea people feel that way since his family interrupts all the time- talking over each other and everything. It makes me absolutely crazy.

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I think if she would wait a half second before she starts talking, and check to see if anyone else is already talking, half the battle would be won. She will often barge into a room talking, not even considering that a conversation is already taking place.

 

I like the bolded. I am going to try it myself. There are times I have a hard time figuring out if someone is finished speaking, resulting in me interrupting them.

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I have taught my dd8 that if I am talking to someone else and she wants to say something she is to touch my arm. I will then touch her back to acknowledge that I know she has something to say and as soon as it's possible I turn to her and let her say what she needs to.

 

Unfortunately, she now has no tolerance for interrupting and can get very upset when her friends interrupt her - which happens a lot.

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I have taught my dd8 that if I am talking to someone else and she wants to say something she is to touch my arm. I will then touch her back to acknowledge that I know she has something to say and as soon as it's possible I turn to her and let her say what she needs to.

 

Unfortunately, she now has no tolerance for interrupting and can get very upset when her friends interrupt her - which happens a lot.

 

I was going to suggest this as well.

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I have taught my dd8 that if I am talking to someone else and she wants to say something she is to touch my arm. I will then touch her back to acknowledge that I know she has something to say and as soon as it's possible I turn to her and let her say what she needs to.

 

Unfortunately, she now has no tolerance for interrupting and can get very upset when her friends interrupt her - which happens a lot.

 

I wonder if having a physical motion - something involving touch helps a lot for some kids, who can't seem to get the idea with their ears :).

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