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How do children survive toddlerhood?!?!


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:banghead:

 

I can't figure out how I made it through three other toddlers. They're just little tornadoes on wheels who delight in doing the opposite of what they're told. I'm just so tired of cleaning up the wake of destruction that follows a two-year-old....

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Our first pediatrician told me it is a miracle any child reaches adulthood. Here is my horror story for the current 1 year old. We school in the basement, and I was busy working with the kids. She drifted upstairs and it took me awhile to realize she wasn't there. I'm not sure how long she was gone but it was in the vicinity of 5-10 minutes. I went looking for her and found her sitting on the kitchen counter trying to cut an apple with a paring knife. :eek: The apple had about 10 cuts on it. It took me a looonng time to get over the panicky feeling. I shouldn't have left a knife on the counter, but she hadn't been able to climb the high bar chair until that day. It just wasn't on my radar.

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Our first pediatrician told me it is a miracle any child reaches adulthood. Here is my horror story for the current 1 year old. We school in the basement, and I was busy working with the kids. She drifted upstairs and it took me awhile to realize she wasn't there. I'm not sure how long she was gone but it was in the vicinity of 5-10 minutes. I went looking for her and found her sitting on the kitchen counter trying to cut an apple with a paring knife. :eek: The apple had about 10 cuts on it. It took me a looonng time to get over the panicky feeling. I shouldn't have left a knife on the counter, but she hadn't been able to climb the high bar chair until that day. It just wasn't on my radar.

 

I hear you.

They are dangerous and they'll surprise you if you let them out of your sight for a moment.

 

My almost 2 year old was found, this morning, sitting at the kitchen counter eating from a container of yogurt. Apparently she had opened the fridge (it was still open), gotten out the yogurt, taken off the lid, gotten herself a spoon from the drawer, dragged over a tall stool, and gone about enjoying the yogurt.

 

She also goes for knives. (shiver)

I HATE it when I forget and leave one on the counter. It's like a toddler-magnet!

 

And to the OP:

My own personal little tornado DELIGHTS in doing the opposite of what she's told... actually, she giggles while she does things she knows she shouldn't do. And then she looks at me as if to say, "so what are you going to do about it?"

Edited by zaichiki
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We still have issues with our 3yo. She can climb to the top of the fridge now! :eek: If she's quiet for more 2 minutes at a time then there is a problem. I've never been so grateful for a small apartment that makes it way easier to find her. I'll see the PP's cartilage and raise her many angelic protectors. :)

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We still have issues with our 3yo. She can climb to the top of the fridge now! :eek: If she's quiet for more 2 minutes at a time then there is a problem. I've never been so grateful for a small apartment that makes it way easier to find her. I'll see the PP's cartilage and raise her many angelic protectors. :)

 

Maybe The Drama's protectors have a sense of humor, because I've got some pictures that would bring CPS running. :lol: (Since when is jumping down porch steps headfirst a good idea, hmmm? EVER??? At least there were witnesses. :lol: )

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My almost 2 year old was found, this morning, sitting at the kitchen counter eating from a container of yogurt. Apparently she had opened the fridge (it was still open), gotten out the yogurt, taken off the lid, gotten herself a spoon from the drawer, dragged over a tall stool, and gone about enjoying the yogurt.

 

Mine used to do that with sweet chilli sauce. :lol:

 

Rosie

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came before me gagging and crying. He couldn't tell me what was wrong. Then all of a sudden, he coughed up a washer. I keep thinking about what if it was a quarter, not a washer, that he swallowed. He picked it up from the patio in the backyard and he was alone.

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My friends and I call it the "Saving Your Child's Life Every Five Minutes" stage of parenting.

 

And it's exhausting.

 

And like the OP, I can't believe I survived two of these already! This youngest one is killing me! But that's probably because now, I am old...

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Thanks for commiserating with me everyone. Misery loves company. :D

 

Last night, in the space of two hours dd ran away from me as fast as she could in a parking lot, climbed up the barstools onto the counter (multiple times) to do a happy dance, did her best to destroy a nativity scene that her older sister was making, then tried sliding a chair over to the counter to climb up again (I had moved the barstools off the floor at that point). After the chair incident, she ran out of the room and I stayed in the kitchen so I could wash the dishes in peace.

 

About 10 minutes later I thought to wonder exactly what was keeping her so quiet, and I sent the older kids off to find her. She was sitting in my bathroom with my make-up basket. :001_huh: I took a picture for our blog... Luckily Daddy came home at that moment and I assigned him to bathe her. He couldn't get the makeup off her, so I went and found my extra-special makeup remover and cleaned her up. After bathtime I set her free so that I could finish washing dishes, and she appeared with my now empty bottle of makeup remover. :glare: Sigh. DH discovered the puddle of oily makeup remover later when he slipped in it...

 

If nothing else, at least dh came home in the middle of everything so he could see why I'm ready to have a padded room all to myself at the end of the day.

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Someone once told me about a study that found that some really surprising percent of young kids had had head injuries that not only healed just fine, but the parents were completely unaware of when they had even occurred. Seems about right to me.

 

No kidding. My BFF has a toddler just a couple months younger than mine. He's had to have staples in his head twice. That kid is always falling off things and hitting his head.

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Maybe The Drama's protectors have a sense of humor, because I've got some pictures that would bring CPS running. :lol: (Since when is jumping down porch steps headfirst a good idea, hmmm? EVER??? At least there were witnesses. :lol: )

When my daughter did it, she said she wanted to turn a cartwheel down the stairs. Not that she could turn a cartwheel on level ground mind you, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess.:001_huh:

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How do children survive?? How do I survive???? My anxiety and stress are :willy_nilly:!!

 

Super high energy + intensity + long days + super high energy + meltdowns + etc, etc, etc = :svengo: (me!)

 

Hehe!! But I love every minute of it!! :D And there's nowhere I rather be than at home with my girls!! ;)

Edited by MissKNG
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How do children survive?? How do I survive???? My anxiety and stress are :willy_nilly:!!

 

Well...ahem...I really meant...how do they not get strangled by their overworked, exhausted, reached-the-end-of-my-rope-yesterday mothers... :auto:

 

But I feel better today, so please don't call the authorities in. :) It's a good thing dd is so darn cute. I'm convinced that cuteness is a survival mechanism for young children. :D

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I have no clue. DS2 has rolled down the stairs, fell off the couch, fell off the kitchen chairs (about thirty times total), ran into tables and furniture, fell out of bed, tipped out of a swing, been whopped in the head by his brother more times than I can count, put mashed potatoes in his ear, put peas up his nose, tried to eat a Hexbug, gave himself a haircut... and the only time we've had to take him to the doctor for an injury was when he tripped in the grass on a WALK and couldn't stand on his leg afterward.

 

And why do toddlers run in a library, then sit down in the middle of a parking lot?!?

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I can remember praying, "Thank you, God, that he's still alive," most nights between the time my ds was one and two. My daughter who was cautious by nature pulled a pan of beans that I was steaming off the stove and suffered terrible burns. She was prayed for and made a full recovery with no scars, but the people at Emmanuel told me that it only happened through prayer, a recovery with no scar had been impossible.

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Try twins sometime! My oldest was a cautious type and I didn't know how spoiled I was... my twins are nuts. They can't walk yet but can climb onto any table or counter in the house. They find chairs and climb them. They climb baby gates. They practically live on the back of the couch. DD couldn't climb onto the counters until she was at least 2yo, and then I could reason with her (well sorta). The boys JUST turned 1 and don't understand a darn thing I say. When I'm rescuing one from certain death, the other one is finding some new way to get in trouble. The current favorite is to climb onto the dining room chairs and try to climb up the back of the chair. When the chair tips, THEY LAUGH.

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Oh I'm so glad I'm not alone. I got spoiled with Pigby, he was a pretty cautious baby. Digby is a little maniac. He was always jumping head first off things because he somehow knew we'd be there to catch him. :glare: He never learned how to scale the fridge, thank goodness, but I did find him on the kitchen table more often than not. He was always falling, falling, falling. Once time he fell and hit his head on a shelf in the kitchen. It wasn't a big fall, I probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't started crying, but it left a perfect line bruise going down the left side of his face. It looked like someone had taken a Sharpie and a ruler and started at his forehead, skipped over his eye and finished down his cheek.

 

Yesterday I made a pot of spaghetti for lunch. While I went upstairs to put Chuck down for a nap, he had moved a chair over to the stove and dumped the entire contents of my salt shaker in the pot. All that food wasted :cursing: I agree with the person who said it's like a suicide watch. I have often said that if Digby makes it to adulthood it will be some kind of miracle. He seems to be getting better about not falling all the time, but he still worries me. He has no concept of self-preservation.

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It's a good thing dd is so darn cute. I'm convinced that cuteness is a survival mechanism for young children. :D

 

My child psych professor always told us that kids were cute so that we (parents) would take care of them. He used the example of running from a sabre tooth tiger, do you save the child or yourself? Having two toddlers and a preschooler I so understand that now.

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We called ds our rubbermaid baby because he would bounce off things and keep going. He once ran smack into a partially open door, bounced backward into the door frame, bounced forward into a somersault (fortunately the door had swung open when he hit it the first time), shook his head, got up, and went about his 18 month old business. It was like a Three Stooges routine. :001_huh: For all that, he only had stitches once and ER-worthy-but-not-majorly-serious/life-threatening head injuries twice.

 

Well...ahem...I really meant...how do they not get strangled by their overworked, exhausted, reached-the-end-of-my-rope-yesterday mothers... :auto:

 

But I feel better today, so please don't call the authorities in. :) It's a good thing dd is so darn cute. I'm convinced that cuteness is a survival mechanism for young children. :D

 

As to this, yes, it is definitely the cuteness that saves them.

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Thanks for commiserating with me everyone. Misery loves company. :D

 

Last night, in the space of two hours dd ran away from me as fast as she could in a parking lot, climbed up the barstools onto the counter (multiple times) to do a happy dance, did her best to destroy a nativity scene that her older sister was making, then tried sliding a chair over to the counter to climb up again (I had moved the barstools off the floor at that point). After the chair incident, she ran out of the room and I stayed in the kitchen so I could wash the dishes in peace.

 

About 10 minutes later I thought to wonder exactly what was keeping her so quiet, and I sent the older kids off to find her. She was sitting in my bathroom with my make-up basket. :001_huh: I took a picture for our blog... Luckily Daddy came home at that moment and I assigned him to bathe her. He couldn't get the makeup off her, so I went and found my extra-special makeup remover and cleaned her up. After bathtime I set her free so that I could finish washing dishes, and she appeared with my now empty bottle of makeup remover. :glare: Sigh. DH discovered the puddle of oily makeup remover later when he slipped in it...

 

If nothing else, at least dh came home in the middle of everything so he could see why I'm ready to have a padded room all to myself at the end of the day.

 

Oh you poor thing!

 

They're like little energizer bunnies, aren't they?

 

Mine has some strange obsession with q-tips lately... You KNOW that can't be good. She seems to find them no matter where I move them. Sigh!

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