melissel Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 (edited) I'm afraid I may need to find my inner drill sergeant, but I'm not sure I have one! DD9 has become impossible to haul out of bed in the morning. Once she's up, it's a battle to get her going on morning chores. I've tried incentives (rewards for morning chores done by a certain time). That worked for a day or two, then nothing--and they've started asking the dreaded, "How many stones do I get for this?" question about everything :glare: I've tried threatening, but it doesn't seem to mean much. I've punished a few times, but even that doesn't seem to matter much after the first time or two. All of this is pushing our schooldays back further and further. I've also tried just giving them fun time in the mornings and starting school later. However, DD9 is at her sharpest in the morning, so school from noon to five is just less effective in general, and bad for our days in particular. Dinner gets started late, they end up in bed late...it's a vicious cycle. So how do you get a late sleeper out of bed? It's like dealing with a teenager. She'd sleep until noon if I let her, and forcing her out of bed results in tears and even more reluctance to do anything I ask of her. How do you get a dawdler to to finish her chores expediently? How do you get a reluctant student to the school table at a reasonable time? I'm willing to consider any advice outside of physical punishment at this point! TIA. ETA: I just realized my title asked about a scheduling issue. I forgot to say that I'm also willing to consider some kind of alternative schedule ideas, if something other than "Breakfast, chores, school" works for you. I realize that some people need more time than others to get going in the morning, and that some people are night owls/late sleepers. I'm willing to accommodate that, it just hasn't seemed to work well around here when I do. But I'm open to any schedule ideas as well. I'm so tired of battling this out every day. Edited November 20, 2011 by melissel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 If it's that hard to get her out of bed, I'd say she isn't getting enough sleep. You could try an earlier bedtime and see if that helps her get up in the morning, but she's also probably getting to that age where her body just wants to stay up later and sleep in later. It's normal for older kids to function like that. Could you give her a couple days to figure out her natural sleep schedule, and then try to work her day around that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 DD10 goes to bed at 9pm. I get her up at 8am. so that's 10.r hours of sleep most nights. That's her "bare minimum" - any less than that and we have tears, crankiness, and general distress. Her morning routine is: wake up at 8am, shower, breakfast, brush teeth and hair, start school at 9am. She gets to watch cartoons or read while she eats. Chores are done AFTER school work because I need her good hours in the books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted November 20, 2011 Author Share Posted November 20, 2011 If it's that hard to get her out of bed, I'd say she isn't getting enough sleep. You could try an earlier bedtime and see if that helps her get up in the morning, but she's also probably getting to that age where her body just wants to stay up later and sleep in later. It's normal for older kids to function like that. Could you give her a couple days to figure out her natural sleep schedule, and then try to work her day around that? You're probably right, and we are struggling with that. In the past, she had a very definite sleep cycle. If we could get her in bed with lights out by 9:30, she'd be asleep in 15 minutes and then awake by 8:15--sometimes earlier. That doesn't seem to work anymore. My goal is to start getting her up early so that she can fall into bed exhausted at a reasonable time and we can reset some kind of reasonable schedule--even if it's 12 hours a night. But the getting her up early part is just not working :( DD10 goes to bed at 9pm. I get her up at 8am. so that's 10.r hours of sleep most nights. That's her "bare minimum" - any less than that and we have tears, crankiness, and general distress. Her morning routine is: wake up at 8am, shower, breakfast, brush teeth and hair, start school at 9am. She gets to watch cartoons or read while she eats. Chores are done AFTER school work because I need her good hours in the books. Yes, sounds familiar! Does she actually go to sleep at 9:00? DD9 wants to read, write in her journal, straighten her room, and generally fiddle around before she goes to sleep. I'd have to have her in her room before 8:00 in order for that to happen. And our morning chores are just "get ready for the day" chores--dressed, hair, teeth, straighten your covers, spend 5 minutes putting things away in your room, eat breakfast, put your dishes in the sink. Apparently, making her get dressed and brush her hair first thing in the morning is akin to torture :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I feel for you! Here are some random suggestions--I've heard these over the years...can't site sources, sorry For Getting to Bed Earlier (being more able to fall asleep earlier) No screens 2 hours before bedtime (the flickering light seems to disrupt the sleep cycle for some kiddos) Of course, no caffeine, or at least, none after noon. Watch carb intake--I'm sorry, I don't remember much about this, but something about too many carbs before bed isn't good for sleep. Keep vigorous play/exercise for before dinner (keeps the metabolism high and can disrupt sleep) but definitely do incorporate it into the day For being more awake in the am Feed the brain right away--don't require getting dressed, etc., before breakfast. Basically just get them to the table and feed right away to get glucose going to the brain. Delay chores--we do them as a break in the pattern of the day (even making beds, etc.) and it helps, esp if you have to work one-on-one and the other child needs something to do! lol The quality of sleep you get can affect how easy it is to get up--so check room temperature (should be warm to fall asleep and cool to stay asleep), noisy/light, etc. After breakfast, many take a walk or do an exercise tape, or just get moving. Since she wants to fiddle around before bed, maybe she's telling you she needs some unwind time. Go ahead and have her get ready for bed at 8, then give her time to fiddle. BTW--A Little Princess is one of my all-time favorite books! <G> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 It sounds like she needs to get to her room earlier so she can do her puttering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I am struggling with much the same. My problem is that my boys share a room and talk and talk and talk. If I am not yet in my room upstairs I can't hear them and when I come up 2 hours later they are still talking. I am not sure how we are going to remedy this situation. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 (edited) Does she get enough hard physical exercise to make her tired? If she is physically exhausted at dinner time, she will go to bed earlier. At age 9, my kids had to be in their rooms at 8pm. What they did there, I did not care - but they had to be quite and settle for the night. I do not expect my kids to do any chores before starting schools. For chores, they do not have to be mentally alert - I'd rather get school done first. If they dawdle with chores after school, it is their own free time they are wasting. Edited November 20, 2011 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I can't stand showering first thing in the monring. I have to putter, I have to have coffee. Sometimes I avod getting out of bed because I dread showering. I have no idea why. I did not used to be like this. Maybe if her morning schedule was switched up some? Can she do her math in her PJs? I get a lot accomplished in mine. I go out to the barn in them, even. Barn boots and yoga pants-- it's a very special look. lol (And No!, I don't wear the same ones back to bed.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 We don't do chores before school either, two non-morning people here. I wake ds up at 9, if he's not up. We start school at 10-10:15. We gauged our productive time a few years ago. Mine is 10-2, ds is later. He really needs at least an hour to fully wake up or he is a bear. He really likes two hours before school, but at his age he chooses sleep first. We start our school time with read-aloud, which is a nice transition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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