BamaTanya Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I want to host the Thanksgiving meal for my family. Really I do. I just don't want it to go on forever. I'll be getting up EARLY. I get up early every morning and my inner clock won't know it's a holiday. I'll use that early time before the rest of the family awakens to make preparations. And then the kids will get up and we'll be getting ready for our company. My dad and his wife will bring the turkey and some vegetables. My sil will bring her 6 foster children (under 7). We'll eat. And eat. Sil will hang around for a while because her dc enjoy being with other dc. So she'll talk and talk and the dc will play. And we'll get interrupted by arguing dc and someone will get hurt. She'll stay even after the dc get tired and cranky. Finally, when it starts to get dark, she'll say they need to get home. It will take a while to find everyone's socks and shoes. We'll hug everyone and wave good-bye. I'll start to collapse on the sofa. Not because I didn't enjoy the visit, but I've been up so long and had so much to do and . . . well, it's a little stressful hosting the meal. And then. Then my brother and sil will bring their 2 dc over because they've spent Thanksgiving with her family and the dc missed getting to see their cousins . . . . And dh will probably have a couple of his single friends stop by because they've already had their meal and don't have anything left to do except watch sports and they know we're at home. And before I've run the dishwasher the second time, someone will be getting out the leftovers . . . And probably some neighbor kids will be over because they're bored. Sigh. Can I put a time limit on Thanksgiving? How rude would it be if I excused myself and took a little nap back in the bedroom? What do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Taking a nap should be part of everyone's Thanksgiving. I don't think it's rude at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I think a short power nap would be just perfect and not rude at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I think telling everyone no would be slightly grinchy (but your prerogative!), but going to take a nap for a couple of hours is totally acceptable. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arliemaria Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Isn't a nap required? Its always been a scheduled Thanksgiving activity in our family. Cook, cook, cook, cook, eat and eat then nap, wake up and eat some more. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 that Thanksgiving is going to be a family day, and there will be no impromptu "hanging out" with friends that day, unless it's at someone else's house. I could not put a limit on how long family could stay. I think napping on your SIL or sister would be inappropriate. But I would draw the line at DH's friends and the neighbor kids. I don't know how old your kids are, but if they are old enough to take care of themselves, and if you want to have your DH's friends over, then I think you are FINE going off to nap while they are there. If you need DH to help the kids get bathes and go to bed, then I think he should let his friends know that TG day won't work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Sneak in a nap, and enjoy the fact that so many people want to be with you. The single friends come because it feels like "home" to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgo95 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I think a nap is a great idea. When we visit family during a holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas, I don't expect to monopolize a single person's attention if we're there all day. I wouldn't be offended at all if you needed a breather (I would need one in your shoes). There are lots of other people there to visit with, right? It's not as if your entire family decided to withdraw for a couple of hours while all the guests twiddled their thumbs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I'm even worse. ;) I don't even want to go to my parents' house, or have them over here for Thanksgiving. I just want it to be my cozy, nuclear family. Just the 4 of us, focusing on our Thanksgiving traditions. And, I really like my parents. I really, really do. Just feeling reclusive and selfish this Thanksgiving, I guess. My husband thinks I'm horrible. Oh well! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I'm even worse. ;) I don't even want to go to my parents' house, or have them over here for Thanksgiving. I just want it to be my cozy, nuclear family. Just the 4 of us, focusing on our Thanksgiving traditions. And, I really like my parents. I really, really do. Just feeling reclusive and selfish this Thanksgiving, I guess. My husband thinks I'm horrible. Oh well! :lol: :blink: I'd give anything to have one more holiday with my parents. Or one more ordinary day. I guess I look at it differently since they've been gone for decades (they died when i was a teen.) Maybe you can just have yr parents over for desert and coffee and then be cozy w/ your little family the rest of the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I leave the room unannounced on occasion when we have a big, noisy crowd over--really, the only time of year that happens for us is SuperBowl Sunday, when our youth group kids come over (about 30 kids and 4 or 5 adults). I typically take a 20 minute time out of my own. People probably think I'm in the bathroom or something--I don't care. Just take a little breather--maybe with some ear buds to dampen the noise. It's amazing what a nap can do. In your situation, I'd even disappear for an hour and not feel bad. As long as your hubby is still hosting, why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I would never turn people away--that just seems so sad. I would absolutely feel comfortable letting my family know that I will be taking a little time for a nap and that they will need to practice all of the hospitality skills that they've seen me display over the years. I'd probably feel comfortable quietly disappearing for an hour or so on my own, with the door shut, with strict instructions to my family ahead of time that I shouldn't be disturbed except for emergencies. In the end though, I mostly figure that there are only a few days during the year that I need to be so "on duty" for entertaining and making other people feel welcome. I count it as a blessing that I have the resources, skills, and opportunity to do so. There are, after all, a multitude of other reasons to work my fingers to the bone on any particular day, and none of them are as wonderful and fun as doing it to create special holiday memories for my family and other people. I certainly hear you though, and I understand the temptation to say, "*Enough!* It's my holiday too!". :grouphug: I'm definitely a person who, like you, goes that extra mile. Honestly, I think that part of me that serves others tirelessly (sort of ;)) is the most noble, and best part of my character. I usually appease the tired part of me by promising it the day after the celebration as a day where we close the curtains, lock the doors, and don't answer the phone. I plan to be unavailable. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Can I put a time limit on Thanksgiving? How rude would it be if I excused myself and took a little nap back in the bedroom? What do you think? Is there are reason you can't go back in your room and put in ear plugs and nap while others visit? Have hubby enlist some kitchen help while you're asleep. To me, the cook is queen on T-day, and all should bow before her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 It sounds like a fun yet exhausting day. Nap is fine, I think. Expecting your DH to help, perhaps being the clean up crew for the 2nd part of the day . Time limits....well, life is a time limit....soon enough, all of those DC, yours and theirs will be grown up, off on their own, some not able to come back for Thanksgiving, some having to go to In-laws for Thanksgiving...you'll be the Granny going to one of your adult child's house, so will your brother and sister, you might not even see them on Thanksgiving.....it'll be alot quieter and well, perhaps you'll look back on these days with fond memories :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amey311 Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I think leaving for a while is fine. Talk to your DH about it ahead of time so that he knows he's the adult in charge when you have to leave to go "work on that project upstairs for a while" or whatever phrase you want to use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 How rude would it be if I excused myself and took a little nap back in the bedroom? What do you think? I have done this more than once.:001_smile: When everyone has left our home, which is normally after 9 pm I am exhausted even with a nap. Many times we start at 10 am with a brunch and then have a latter dinner around 4. This way I don't have to be up before I go to bed to get the turkey in the oven.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Naps are an integral part of Thanksgiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 How rude would it be if I excused myself and took a little nap back in the bedroom? What do you think? Not rude at all!!! When you get sis with the 6 kids out the door, go lay down. The other family that drops by, do they live close by? I'd just ask them not to drop by. There's no rule that says you have to see every possible living relative on Thanksgiving day. If they're from out of town, then that's different. I'd guess you'd want to hang with them for a while. As for the neighbor kids and the single guys, let dh host them and go lay down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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