Ewe Mama Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 DH has a habit of throwing curve balls at me without even yelling, "Heads up!" Yesterday dh emails me from work about some mundane things. At the end of the message he asks, "So are we elligible to adopt again?" :001_huh: :001_huh: I didn't get the message until after he already left for the day, so I didn't even get the opportunity to say :001_huh: Long story short is we tried for 4 years, adopted, went through foster to adopt with two brothers, became pregnant (miraculous - and I don't use that term lightly), and then became pregnant again 11 months after our first bio child was born. Both pregnancies were normal and healthy. Our family is now dd8, ds7, ds5, ds5, dd4. Three eldest were adopted, two younger were the bios. We have never used contraceptives in 13 years of marriage. The reason I was so :001_huh: about dh's adoption question is that we were never officially trying to conceive. We weren't preventing, but we weren't gung-ho about making lots of baby TeA. We never discussed having another baby. We were too tired with trying to keep up with the other ones. :lol: His question yesterday came as a total shock because he said if we haven't gotten pregnant in four years, maybe I am having problems with endometriosis again. (That was why we couldn't get pregnant earlier. I was diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis and had 0% chance of conceiving naturally and only a 10% chance of successful pregnancy with in vitro. Four months after being diagnosed, I went to a healing service at my church and exactly one week later our bio son was conceived.) So, my mind is in overdrive. I would love to have another baby. I loved being pregnant and having a home birth, etc. I know that I have a deep passion for adoption, as well. I know that I cannot emotionally do the foster-to-adopt thing again. That was far too draining. For reference, I am knocking on the door of 39 and dh is 52. What would you do? Would you try to get pregnant or look into adopting? If we went the pregnancy route, what would you recommend for increasing our chances? I'm still very :001_huh: over the whole thing, but I love DH for his willingness/desire to be a Daddy again! I'm sorry this is so long, but I needed to spill my guts out to someone. Thanks for listening, Hive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaMinNC Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I have absolutely no idea or advice, (except to pray), but I love your story and I hope you get exactly what you want (even if you're not sure what that is! :grouphug: (Definitely hug him, btw.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Is he seriously thinking about it, or just wondering? There are lots of things that I think about, but would never really do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Is he seriously thinking about it, or just wondering? There are lots of things that I think about, but would never really do. Nope, he's serious. We spoke quite extensively about it last night. Dh is a man of few words, but when he decides to do something, he is quite serious about it. I have learned not to ask him if he's serious or if he's joking. He gets quite insulted when I questions his sanity/motives :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Your dh sound like he loves being a daddy!! So sweet! :) No advice, but I hope it all happens for you, in whatever way you hope! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 I have absolutely no idea or advice, (except to pray), but I love your story and I hope you get exactly what you want (even if you're not sure what that is! :grouphug: (Definitely hug him, btw.) Thank you! Tonight we decided to try conceiving for a few months and see if that's the door God wants us to walk through. The timing is right for the next few days, so I may not be spending much time on the boards in the evenings ;) I have been harboring secret hopes for another baby to love, but didn't think dh would be crazy about the idea. I just prayed that he would bring it up and now he has! I just wish he would be a bit more direct instead of so nonchalant about the whole thing. I mean, come on, he starts talking about adding another person to our family in an email!? Don't worry, he will get the hug! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Well, I can tell you a little story that might make you open to what ever door God opens. I had asked DH if he would ever want to adopt or do surrogacy. I had a hysterectomy at age 30 and we had just gotten married a few months before I asked him. (age 34ish). He said "If God wants us to have a baby, he will open that door." I snidely said to myself "what is he going to do? Send me a plane ticket to Russia?" A young girl at work was pregnant and didn't know what to do and was thinking of abortion. I jokingly said to her "well, you can give the baby to me" and that was what got me thinking of another baby, that and the fact that I was grieving over twin boys that a traditional surrogate kept when I was with my exDH...long story. Fast forward a few weeks and the young lady approached me at work and asked "were you serious when you said I can give the baby to you?" I about fell over in my chair. I told her that I would have to discuss it with my husband first and I took her phone number. I went home that night and told DH about the story as incredible as it sounded and that she was about 10-12 weeks pregnant and it may be nothing. He resoundingly said "That's the door!" DUH! I had no faith in how that works. Well our little door is now 2 1/2 years old and the whole pregnancy/delivery/adoption went smoothly and the young lady is still a big part of our lives. So, maybe God is trying to open a door. Sometimes you have to wiggle the handle a little (like look into adoption) but it will open if it's meant to be. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Both :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Well, I can tell you a little story that might make you open to what ever door God opens.I had asked DH if he would ever want to adopt or do surrogacy. I had a hysterectomy at age 30 and we had just gotten married a few months before I asked him. (age 34ish). He said "If God wants us to have a baby, he will open that door." I snidely said to myself "what is he going to do? Send me a plane ticket to Russia?" A young girl at work was pregnant and didn't know what to do and was thinking of abortion. I jokingly said to her "well, you can give the baby to me" and that was what got me thinking of another baby, that and the fact that I was grieving over twin boys that a traditional surrogate kept when I was with my exDH...long story. Fast forward a few weeks and the young lady approached me at work and asked "were you serious when you said I can give the baby to you?" I about fell over in my chair. I told her that I would have to discuss it with my husband first and I took her phone number. I went home that night and told DH about the story as incredible as it sounded and that she was about 10-12 weeks pregnant and it may be nothing. He resoundingly said "That's the door!" DUH! I had no faith in how that works. Well our little door is now 2 1/2 years old and the whole pregnancy/delivery/adoption went smoothly and the young lady is still a big part of our lives. So, maybe God is trying to open a door. Sometimes you have to wiggle the handle a little (like look into adoption) but it will open if it's meant to be. Good luck! What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it with me. :001_smile: I am so happy for you and your family, especially after you went through some very difficult times. That makes your "little door" all the more precious. :grouphug: We are always looking for God's open doors, so adoption is still an option if that's what He wants us to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Both :D I like your style! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 When God talked to me about adoption, I found out later that the month I felt like we were to adopt was the month our now 4 year old daughter was conceived. God had been planning all along to have her in our family. I can always tell our daughter that she was always wanted and always planned for by us! Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Good luck :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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