NorCalMom Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) Please forgive the fonts - I copied and pasted this from dd's Word Document. Background: dd was assigned (CLE LA 5) to write a short personal narrative of a recent event. I told her she could submit a typed rough draft. She had previously hand-written a graph of her main ideas. I have not yet made any corrections. She is a great speller and has a pretty good grasp on punctuation. To be honest, dd hates writing. (It took her 2 days to get this written.) She really struggled with WWE. Oral narrations and dictation were OK, but the written narrations drew tears . She did great with the grammar portion of R&S, but she balked at the writing assignments. I've started her at the beginning with IEW, along with CLE LA. She is doing ok. She is able to outline her history and science reading assignments. I just want to get some feedback as to her current level. Any thoughts and comments are much appreciated! Swimming in Sea World This year, my friend Sophie and I swam with the dolphins. It was at Sea World in San Diego. The best part was that it was on my 10th birthday. We swam with young and old dolphins. We heard stories about how they found one of the older ones and how she had a disease. The dolphins felt like rubber and were slimy. One young dolphin shot freezing cold ice water in my face! My body wasn't cold because I wore a wetsuit. Too bad they don't make wetmasks! It was very fun, especially that I got to do it with my best friend. Edited November 16, 2011 by cowgirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Anyone? :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuovonne Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 It was a fun, quick read. As you already know, her spelling and punctuation are fine. She has a good command of the sentence, decent vocabulary, and a sense of humor. I sense that she didn't know what to say or how to expand on the few ideas she had. If it were my daughter, I'd concentrate on generating more content/ideas, probably through discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 It was a fun, quick read. As you already know, her spelling and punctuation are fine. She has a good command of the sentence, decent vocabulary, and a sense of humor. I sense that she didn't know what to say or how to expand on the few ideas she had. If it were my daughter, I'd concentrate on generating more content/ideas, probably through discussion. Yes, I think this is probably true. She can talk about that day for hours and be very descriptive in her oral narration. When she sits down with pencil and paper she just freezes up. I'm trying to get the idea across that it's ok to ramble on. She can edit and clean things up later. Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out. :tongue_smilie: Thanks for your comment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I like it. I think she did a nice job. I agree with the previous posters; have you looked into Writer's Jungle? It may help with "freeing" her up, writing-wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 I like it. I think she did a nice job. I agree with the previous posters; have you looked into Writer's Jungle? It may help with "freeing" her up, writing-wise. Thank you. I hadn't heard of Writer's Jungle. I'll look into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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